TW: *Ageism*
CW: *mention of sexual relations*
In the bed, he let himself fall back on his back, leaving Sam the vision of the ceiling and quickly put back the bed sheet in a modest concern.
Sam, nervous: Sorry.
He rolled his eyes at her usual guilt and went in search of their clothes removed a few minutes ago.
Jack grabbed them and handed him her tank top: Stop it. It is enough to be destabilized. (after getting dressed again, they lay down face to face and he insisted) Everything is fine.
Sam, not reassured: Hmm.
Jack put back a strand of her hair correctly: Tired?
Sam shook her head: Hmm. And you?
Jack shook his head: Hm. (There was silence. At her ever-present nervousness, he grabbed the sheet and put it over their heads to build a tent. She smiled at his game and understood that he was insisting on the fact that it was just the two of them. They looked at each other for a moment and then he took a serious tone) Carter. (she swallowed with apprehension) Sex isn't important. (she questioned him with her eyes) I know how to have fun alone.
Sam stammered: I... No, it's okay. It's just... I...
She didn't know what else to say.
Jack: I don't care. (she nodded but refused to look at him) Great, but not important. (she closed her eyes, hid in his shoulder and he added more seriously) If you can't have fun, it's not worth doing.
She shyly raised her head towards him and he shrugged a shoulder to insist. She understood that he wasn't just talking about sex but about their relationship. One of his greatest fears was to manipulate her, and that she was so dependent on him terrified him. He was looking for her to emancipate herself from him, as he had always done for years.
Jack saw her confusion: Listen. At a certain age, the rhythm needs to change. To go slower, to... To... (he raised his hands, searching for words) To contemplate.
Sam, understood his implication with his new position: Fewer actions.
Jack dropped his hands: Yeah.
Sam stared at him and then whispered: I guess... I need a little time to stabilize.
Jack nodded, reassured by this decision: It’s wise. (she smiled shyly but looked away. He moistened his lips with nervousness at her guilt of not wanting to. He hesitated a moment then cleared his throat) Eurhm. (she turned her head towards him) Do you know about andropause?
Sam froze, then nodded: Late-onset hypogonadism.
Jack moved his hand: I didn't know that a few years ago and eurh...
Sam tried: Your sexuality is changing.
Jack tilted his head: Yeah. (he grimaced) I'm just saying... Going from a guy younger than ya to me-
Sam's eyes widened as he compared himself to Pete: Oh God no! Everything is fine. Don't-
Jack raised a hand and insisted: I'm just having a hard time following.
Sam swallowed and took a few seconds to think: Hu. So that whole foreplay appetizer thing...?
Jack, uncomfortable to admit to her: Doctor's advice.
Sam saw his discomfort and tried to play it down: Pretty good advice.
He shook his head that she makes fun of him, holding back to retort to her that it was also necessary that she thanked Kerry to have taught him quite a lot of things, in particular on the myth of the vaginal orgasm.
Sam, shyly: So... Let's find a balance?
Jack turned his head toward her: That would be a good start.
They smiled at each other. He brushed her cheek and looked at her in detail.
Sam squinted at him suspiciously: Are you counting my wrinkles?
Jack pointed to one in the corner of her eye: New one.
She tapped him on the shoulder and he laughed silently. She then brushed her fingertips against his chin but added nothing more than a smile. He replied in kind, knowing full well what she thought of his day-old beard.
Sam: I missed your look.
Jack, after a few seconds, intimidated: I missed your smile.
Sam smiled exaggeratedly at his hesitation: I thought you were going to say my breasts.
Jack corrected her with an obvious look: Your ass. (she giggled silently and he insisted) Your damn ass.
Sam shook her head and added lower: I missed your smile too.
Jack: Not my ass?
Sam turned slightly and closed her eyes: Oh God!
She regained her seriousness and looked at him. He was still staring at her, a smile on his face. A memory struck her and she frowned.
Jack: What?
Sam, softly: Are you afraid of getting old?
Jack lost: What?
Sam moistened her lips in nervousness: You think I'm afraid of getting old.
Jack surprised at her tone: Is that a question?
Sam: You said it. (she tilted her head) The Keeper on P7J-989.
Jack: Oh. (he frowned) No.
Sam looked at him wryly: It's not Daniel who would have known about your field hockey games with Kawasaki. It was your thoughts. Your mind. The Keeper couldn't get into mine because of Jolinar's protein.
Jack winced at the admission: Maybe it's a cliché I had about ya at the time. (she smiled broadly and triumphantly) Oh please. You had a lotta clichés about me.
Sam, mischievously: All accurate.
He squinted and she could hardly contain herself from laughing.
Jack, lower: Doesn't that scare ya? (he pulled himself together and made a pun) I mean, it's not a wrinkle?
Sam shrugged a shoulder: Every white hair is proof that we have survived.
Jack, surprised at her opinion on this: Even on children?
Sam, confused but quickly pulling herself together: What, the biological clock? (he nodded slowly) It's a myth. (he made a silent "Ha." and thought back to the vaginal orgasm he had thought of only a few minutes ago) Like the fact that you have to be the same age as your partner, for example. A social construct. (she tilted her head, looked away and spoke more quietly) Or that men like younger women. (he stared at her, uncomfortable) How old were you and Sara for Charlie?
Jack: Thirty-six for me. Sara twenty-nine.
The gap wasn't large, but she couldn't help but chuckle as he validated her observation. He gave her a blasé look and hoped she wouldn't comment on Kynthia.
Jack: You're no better. (She questioned him with her eyes, surprised.) How much of a gap is there with Hanson?
Sam froze and began to tense up: Eurrrh. Eighteen.
Jack laughed a little in his turn, but recovered from Sam's nervousness: Hungry?
Sam: A little.
Jack: Will you give me another class?
Sam got out of the sheet and stood up: Okay.
Echo:
*In the previous paragraph, Jack says “He thinks it's normal that we haven't yet managed to find our balance.” / Let's find a balance?*
*In the previous chapter, one of the themes discussed was change / needs to change. / is changing.*
*It is enough to be destabilized. / I guess... I need a little time to stabilize.*
*Everything is fine.(x2)*
*Sex isn't important. / Great, but not important.*
*I know how to have fun alone. / If you can't have fun*
*At a certain age / Going from a guy younger than ya to me- / Are you counting my wrinkles? / Are you afraid of getting old? / you think I'm afraid of getting old. / Doesn't that scare ya? / not a wrinkle?*
*the rhythm / I need a little time / at the time*
*Doctor's advice. - Pretty good advice.*
*I missed your(x3)*
*Maybe it's a cliché / You had a lotta clichés about me. *
* Your ass. (she giggled silently and he insisted) Your damn ass. / Not my ass? *
Notes:
*This paragraph revolves around myths and social constructions: age differences, virilism, and vaginal orgasm. (source)*
*Article: Julia Roberts victim of ageism (source)*
*Andropause is a set of physiological symptoms related to the decrease in the secretion of testosterone and other sex hormones in men, starting at age 45. This physiological state is similar in terms of symptoms to menopause in women (source)(source)*
*While women are more informed about menopause, men too often suffer from a lack of information and sometimes worry about changes that are normal. They tend to take refuge in silence and a certain fatalism, and sometimes avoid intimate contact to avoid being confronted with a less valiant erection*
*It is rare that men have a non-penetrative view, especially during this period. The subject has become much less taboo over the years, thanks to LGBTQ+ and feminist activists*
*If you reread my fanfic from the beginning with the prism of andropause, you will have another point of view about Jack's reactions to his erections. As you can see, I love to work on different readings and interpretations.
The most obvious one is in my chapter 4:
Jack whispered: I like to take my time for some things too. (she blew out her nose, he bent his elbow to rest his head and resumed a normal tone) Didn't we just do that?
Sam looked away, uncomfortable with the question, then stammered: F… Foreplay... right?
Jack, with slight apprehension: It's different? (she turned her head towards him) When you have a drink, (he raised a hand) chips, peanuts, popcorn... (she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement) You eat, don't you?
Sam a little puzzled: I'm still hungry.
Jack put his hand on her belly: If you have some space left...
Sam stopped his hand and laughed at the tickle: I'm talking about you!”*
*As a reminder, my fanfic highlights the lack of representations in movies, series, novels, etc. It is very rare that the subject of andropause is discussed, whereas menopause is often discussed. This is once again putting a mental burden of sexual responsibility and guilt on women*
*In many fanfics, I've read that Jack has strong, continuous erections, as well as ejaculations without a rest period. This is something that makes me roll my eyes. (I remind you that even for a 20 year old person with a penis, a resting time between each erection is NORMAL) It fits into the myth of masculinity, the quest for performance and heteronormative sex (penetration at the heart of sexuality). Sexuality evolves according to age, health and personal history, and that's okay! Just question the fact that there are so many representations of older men in relationships with young women (and not the other way around) but that the issue of andropause or erectile dysfunction are invisible...*
*I have been working on the lack of representation of men saying that it is okay for their partner to not want to have sex even if they did want to a few minutes before. This is a continuation of my previous chapter. Jack, even though he is a man who grew up with patriarchal social constructs, can potentially understand this need for consent because he has also experienced sexual violence. In "real life", when a chick backs out of her "yes" for sex, her partner tends to sulk, negotiate, make her give in or feel guilty, or just move on. We REALLY need scene representation in movies, TV shows, books etc. that explains that it's okay to go back on your decision, and that men can behave ethically*
*Article: Trauma bond or true love? (source)*
*Small reminder of ages:
Amanda Tapping: 8/28/1965 (40 years old in 2005) (source)
Samantha Carter: 29 December 1968 (37 years old in 2005) (source)
David DeLuise (date of Pete Shanahan unknown): November 11, 1971 (3 years younger with Sam) (source)
J. R. Bourne (date of Martouf unknown): April 8, 1970 (2 years younger (host) with Sam but possible 100+ years with Lantash) (source)
Garwin Sanford (Narim date unknown):March 14, 1955 (13 years older with Sam) (source)
William Russ (date of Jonas Hanson unknown): October 20, 1950 (18 years older with Sam) (source)
Jack O'neill: October 20, 1952 (16 more years with Sam) (source)
Kurt Russel (date of Jack O'neil in STARGATE unknown): March 17, 1951 (17 years older with Sam) (source)
Cecil Hoffman (date of Sara O'neill in STARGATE unknown) July 11, 1962 (6 years older with Sam, 11 years younger with her husband in STARGATE) (source)
Harley Jane Kozak (date of Sara O'neill in SG-1 unknown): January 28, 1957 (11 years older with Sam, 5 years younger with her ex-husband in SG-1) (source)*
*My observations:
So age is not an important issue for Sam.
For the gap between Jack and his ex-wife compared to Charlie, I made the average between the two actresses (8 years and a half)*
*Article: According to research, at age 40, female characters begin to disappear from TV and movies. these Golden Globe winners are setting a new industry norm (source)*
*The myth of the vaginal orgasm comes from Freud (AND YES, STILL HIM haha)In his work, he argued that the clitoral orgasm was infantile and that, after puberty, in heterosexual intercourse, the center of the orgasm had moved to the vagina. The vagina, it was claimed, was the place of a parallel orgasm, more complete than the clitoris. It was said that women were afraid of vaginal penetration, and that only the most mature women were interested in it.
Anne Koedt published "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm" in 1968, but this idea has remained strong for years. In 2022, many people with vaginas still believe this myth to be true. Carter learning to explore her sexuality recently, (ref: what Amanda Tapping said about her character in season 7) I found it interesting and consistent that she hasn't deconstructed that misconception yet*
*Jack's sentence “if you can't have fun, it's not worth doing.” is from an interview with Richard Dean Anderson (source)*
*She says “Are you afraid of getting old?” also because in the previous chapter, Jack tells her “Those damn nanites freaked me out so much that they took away my years that I totally overlooked this detail.”*
*Video: Men and intimacy (source)*
*Article: Teach boys about pleasure and sensuality! (source)*
*Article: How to respond to a partener's disclorure of sexual trama (source)*
*Article: 21 questions to ask yourself before entering a relationship: a thread (source)*
*The case of DiCaprio and his "girlfriends" (source)*
*Legal marital rape ended in the USA in 1993, and in France in 1990. (source)*
CW: *mention of sexual relations*
In the bed, he let himself fall back on his back, leaving Sam the vision of the ceiling and quickly put back the bed sheet in a modest concern.
Sam, nervous: Sorry.
He rolled his eyes at her usual guilt and went in search of their clothes removed a few minutes ago.
Jack grabbed them and handed him her tank top: Stop it. It is enough to be destabilized. (after getting dressed again, they lay down face to face and he insisted) Everything is fine.
Sam, not reassured: Hmm.
Jack put back a strand of her hair correctly: Tired?
Sam shook her head: Hmm. And you?
Jack shook his head: Hm. (There was silence. At her ever-present nervousness, he grabbed the sheet and put it over their heads to build a tent. She smiled at his game and understood that he was insisting on the fact that it was just the two of them. They looked at each other for a moment and then he took a serious tone) Carter. (she swallowed with apprehension) Sex isn't important. (she questioned him with her eyes) I know how to have fun alone.
Sam stammered: I... No, it's okay. It's just... I...
She didn't know what else to say.
Jack: I don't care. (she nodded but refused to look at him) Great, but not important. (she closed her eyes, hid in his shoulder and he added more seriously) If you can't have fun, it's not worth doing.
She shyly raised her head towards him and he shrugged a shoulder to insist. She understood that he wasn't just talking about sex but about their relationship. One of his greatest fears was to manipulate her, and that she was so dependent on him terrified him. He was looking for her to emancipate herself from him, as he had always done for years.
Jack saw her confusion: Listen. At a certain age, the rhythm needs to change. To go slower, to... To... (he raised his hands, searching for words) To contemplate.
Sam, understood his implication with his new position: Fewer actions.
Jack dropped his hands: Yeah.
Sam stared at him and then whispered: I guess... I need a little time to stabilize.
Jack nodded, reassured by this decision: It’s wise. (she smiled shyly but looked away. He moistened his lips with nervousness at her guilt of not wanting to. He hesitated a moment then cleared his throat) Eurhm. (she turned her head towards him) Do you know about andropause?
Sam froze, then nodded: Late-onset hypogonadism.
Jack moved his hand: I didn't know that a few years ago and eurh...
Sam tried: Your sexuality is changing.
Jack tilted his head: Yeah. (he grimaced) I'm just saying... Going from a guy younger than ya to me-
Sam's eyes widened as he compared himself to Pete: Oh God no! Everything is fine. Don't-
Jack raised a hand and insisted: I'm just having a hard time following.
Sam swallowed and took a few seconds to think: Hu. So that whole foreplay appetizer thing...?
Jack, uncomfortable to admit to her: Doctor's advice.
Sam saw his discomfort and tried to play it down: Pretty good advice.
He shook his head that she makes fun of him, holding back to retort to her that it was also necessary that she thanked Kerry to have taught him quite a lot of things, in particular on the myth of the vaginal orgasm.
Sam, shyly: So... Let's find a balance?
Jack turned his head toward her: That would be a good start.
They smiled at each other. He brushed her cheek and looked at her in detail.
Sam squinted at him suspiciously: Are you counting my wrinkles?
Jack pointed to one in the corner of her eye: New one.
She tapped him on the shoulder and he laughed silently. She then brushed her fingertips against his chin but added nothing more than a smile. He replied in kind, knowing full well what she thought of his day-old beard.
Sam: I missed your look.
Jack, after a few seconds, intimidated: I missed your smile.
Sam smiled exaggeratedly at his hesitation: I thought you were going to say my breasts.
Jack corrected her with an obvious look: Your ass. (she giggled silently and he insisted) Your damn ass.
Sam shook her head and added lower: I missed your smile too.
Jack: Not my ass?
Sam turned slightly and closed her eyes: Oh God!
She regained her seriousness and looked at him. He was still staring at her, a smile on his face. A memory struck her and she frowned.
Jack: What?
Sam, softly: Are you afraid of getting old?
Jack lost: What?
Sam moistened her lips in nervousness: You think I'm afraid of getting old.
Jack surprised at her tone: Is that a question?
Sam: You said it. (she tilted her head) The Keeper on P7J-989.
Jack: Oh. (he frowned) No.
Sam looked at him wryly: It's not Daniel who would have known about your field hockey games with Kawasaki. It was your thoughts. Your mind. The Keeper couldn't get into mine because of Jolinar's protein.
Jack winced at the admission: Maybe it's a cliché I had about ya at the time. (she smiled broadly and triumphantly) Oh please. You had a lotta clichés about me.
Sam, mischievously: All accurate.
He squinted and she could hardly contain herself from laughing.
Jack, lower: Doesn't that scare ya? (he pulled himself together and made a pun) I mean, it's not a wrinkle?
Sam shrugged a shoulder: Every white hair is proof that we have survived.
Jack, surprised at her opinion on this: Even on children?
Sam, confused but quickly pulling herself together: What, the biological clock? (he nodded slowly) It's a myth. (he made a silent "Ha." and thought back to the vaginal orgasm he had thought of only a few minutes ago) Like the fact that you have to be the same age as your partner, for example. A social construct. (she tilted her head, looked away and spoke more quietly) Or that men like younger women. (he stared at her, uncomfortable) How old were you and Sara for Charlie?
Jack: Thirty-six for me. Sara twenty-nine.
The gap wasn't large, but she couldn't help but chuckle as he validated her observation. He gave her a blasé look and hoped she wouldn't comment on Kynthia.
Jack: You're no better. (She questioned him with her eyes, surprised.) How much of a gap is there with Hanson?
Sam froze and began to tense up: Eurrrh. Eighteen.
Jack laughed a little in his turn, but recovered from Sam's nervousness: Hungry?
Sam: A little.
Jack: Will you give me another class?
Sam got out of the sheet and stood up: Okay.
Echo:
*In the previous paragraph, Jack says “He thinks it's normal that we haven't yet managed to find our balance.” / Let's find a balance?*
*In the previous chapter, one of the themes discussed was change / needs to change. / is changing.*
*It is enough to be destabilized. / I guess... I need a little time to stabilize.*
*Everything is fine.(x2)*
*Sex isn't important. / Great, but not important.*
*I know how to have fun alone. / If you can't have fun*
*At a certain age / Going from a guy younger than ya to me- / Are you counting my wrinkles? / Are you afraid of getting old? / you think I'm afraid of getting old. / Doesn't that scare ya? / not a wrinkle?*
*the rhythm / I need a little time / at the time*
*Doctor's advice. - Pretty good advice.*
*I missed your(x3)*
*Maybe it's a cliché / You had a lotta clichés about me. *
* Your ass. (she giggled silently and he insisted) Your damn ass. / Not my ass? *
Notes:
*This paragraph revolves around myths and social constructions: age differences, virilism, and vaginal orgasm. (source)*
*Article: Julia Roberts victim of ageism (source)*
*Andropause is a set of physiological symptoms related to the decrease in the secretion of testosterone and other sex hormones in men, starting at age 45. This physiological state is similar in terms of symptoms to menopause in women (source)(source)*
*While women are more informed about menopause, men too often suffer from a lack of information and sometimes worry about changes that are normal. They tend to take refuge in silence and a certain fatalism, and sometimes avoid intimate contact to avoid being confronted with a less valiant erection*
*It is rare that men have a non-penetrative view, especially during this period. The subject has become much less taboo over the years, thanks to LGBTQ+ and feminist activists*
*If you reread my fanfic from the beginning with the prism of andropause, you will have another point of view about Jack's reactions to his erections. As you can see, I love to work on different readings and interpretations.
The most obvious one is in my chapter 4:
Jack whispered: I like to take my time for some things too. (she blew out her nose, he bent his elbow to rest his head and resumed a normal tone) Didn't we just do that?
Sam looked away, uncomfortable with the question, then stammered: F… Foreplay... right?
Jack, with slight apprehension: It's different? (she turned her head towards him) When you have a drink, (he raised a hand) chips, peanuts, popcorn... (she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement) You eat, don't you?
Sam a little puzzled: I'm still hungry.
Jack put his hand on her belly: If you have some space left...
Sam stopped his hand and laughed at the tickle: I'm talking about you!”*
*As a reminder, my fanfic highlights the lack of representations in movies, series, novels, etc. It is very rare that the subject of andropause is discussed, whereas menopause is often discussed. This is once again putting a mental burden of sexual responsibility and guilt on women*
*In many fanfics, I've read that Jack has strong, continuous erections, as well as ejaculations without a rest period. This is something that makes me roll my eyes. (I remind you that even for a 20 year old person with a penis, a resting time between each erection is NORMAL) It fits into the myth of masculinity, the quest for performance and heteronormative sex (penetration at the heart of sexuality). Sexuality evolves according to age, health and personal history, and that's okay! Just question the fact that there are so many representations of older men in relationships with young women (and not the other way around) but that the issue of andropause or erectile dysfunction are invisible...*
*I have been working on the lack of representation of men saying that it is okay for their partner to not want to have sex even if they did want to a few minutes before. This is a continuation of my previous chapter. Jack, even though he is a man who grew up with patriarchal social constructs, can potentially understand this need for consent because he has also experienced sexual violence. In "real life", when a chick backs out of her "yes" for sex, her partner tends to sulk, negotiate, make her give in or feel guilty, or just move on. We REALLY need scene representation in movies, TV shows, books etc. that explains that it's okay to go back on your decision, and that men can behave ethically*
*Article: Trauma bond or true love? (source)*
*Small reminder of ages:
Amanda Tapping: 8/28/1965 (40 years old in 2005) (source)
Samantha Carter: 29 December 1968 (37 years old in 2005) (source)
David DeLuise (date of Pete Shanahan unknown): November 11, 1971 (3 years younger with Sam) (source)
J. R. Bourne (date of Martouf unknown): April 8, 1970 (2 years younger (host) with Sam but possible 100+ years with Lantash) (source)
Garwin Sanford (Narim date unknown):March 14, 1955 (13 years older with Sam) (source)
William Russ (date of Jonas Hanson unknown): October 20, 1950 (18 years older with Sam) (source)
Jack O'neill: October 20, 1952 (16 more years with Sam) (source)
Kurt Russel (date of Jack O'neil in STARGATE unknown): March 17, 1951 (17 years older with Sam) (source)
Cecil Hoffman (date of Sara O'neill in STARGATE unknown) July 11, 1962 (6 years older with Sam, 11 years younger with her husband in STARGATE) (source)
Harley Jane Kozak (date of Sara O'neill in SG-1 unknown): January 28, 1957 (11 years older with Sam, 5 years younger with her ex-husband in SG-1) (source)*
*My observations:
So age is not an important issue for Sam.
For the gap between Jack and his ex-wife compared to Charlie, I made the average between the two actresses (8 years and a half)*
*Article: According to research, at age 40, female characters begin to disappear from TV and movies. these Golden Globe winners are setting a new industry norm (source)*
*The myth of the vaginal orgasm comes from Freud (AND YES, STILL HIM haha)In his work, he argued that the clitoral orgasm was infantile and that, after puberty, in heterosexual intercourse, the center of the orgasm had moved to the vagina. The vagina, it was claimed, was the place of a parallel orgasm, more complete than the clitoris. It was said that women were afraid of vaginal penetration, and that only the most mature women were interested in it.
Anne Koedt published "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm" in 1968, but this idea has remained strong for years. In 2022, many people with vaginas still believe this myth to be true. Carter learning to explore her sexuality recently, (ref: what Amanda Tapping said about her character in season 7) I found it interesting and consistent that she hasn't deconstructed that misconception yet*
*Jack's sentence “if you can't have fun, it's not worth doing.” is from an interview with Richard Dean Anderson (source)*
*She says “Are you afraid of getting old?” also because in the previous chapter, Jack tells her “Those damn nanites freaked me out so much that they took away my years that I totally overlooked this detail.”*
*Video: Men and intimacy (source)*
*Article: Teach boys about pleasure and sensuality! (source)*
*Article: How to respond to a partener's disclorure of sexual trama (source)*
*Article: 21 questions to ask yourself before entering a relationship: a thread (source)*
*The case of DiCaprio and his "girlfriends" (source)*
*Legal marital rape ended in the USA in 1993, and in France in 1990. (source)*
After installing an Aretha Franklin vinyl, they set out on a green salad with tomatoes and melted cheese toast. Standing side by side at the work surface, he proved to be much more attentive to her instructions than she imagined, eager to learn. Nevertheless, he sensed her deep concentration on what she was doing and knew she was hiding something.
Jack teased her with a shoulder movement: Your thoughts?
Sam watched the bread in the pan: Nothing.
Jack, firmly: Carter? (she gave him a half-amused, half-reproving look. He added lower) What?
Sam bit her lip, thinking to herself that he was reading her like an open book: Let's say that if ever... And I mean ever...
Jack, knowing her complicated and incomprehensible theories too well: Here we go.
Sam: If you meet someone else...
Jack grabbed a towel to dry his hands: I can feel trouble coming.
Sam turned to him and took a serious tone: I need to talk about this.
Jack put the dishclothl back on the counter and turned to her: Listen, can we not talk about this?
He stared at her but she seemed more than determined to broach the subject. He took a deep breath and gestured with his hand for the next part, resigned.
Sam hesitated: I... It would be okay. I'll understand.
Jack, stunned: Excuse me?
Sam bit her tongue and put out the fire in the pan: I don't mind if you...
He licked his lips in incomprehension and raised his eyebrows, stunned by her proposal. He grabbed his beer, took a sip and took a few steps around the room to think.
Sam shrugged and slid the toast onto the plates: This will make a good cover.
Jack, to himself, softly: Why am I having this conversation?
Sam stammered awkwardly and mixed vegetables: I-I know how you are.
Jack raised his eyebrows and repeated: Excuse me?!
Sam defensively: You like women. (she frowned and nodded nervously from their earlier discussion of ages) Very beautiful young women.
Jack put his beer bottle on the counter: I need something stronger.
She grimaced and pointed to her wine cellar. He leaned over and chose a bottle of whiskey. She placed a glass in front of him, then grabbed the plates and took them to the dining table.
Jack took one drink and poured himself a second: Can we get back to this cliché you have of me?
Sam turned and stared at him: Hmm?
He drank his whiskey in one gulp and then took several steps around the room to gather his thoughts. She remained silent, too nervous and began to be exhausted from all these conversations. She went to put the cutlery on the table.
Jack poured himself another drink and spoke more quietly: "Chick magnet"? (she remembered this nickname given by Anang, she questioned him with apprehension and put down the salad bowl) How much of an asshole do you consider a guy to be? (more sharply) What if I told ya the same thing? (she remained silent and sat down. He pointed his glass at her and added more calmly) You're lying.
Sam looked up at him: What?
Jack: Your reactions whenever I am with "beautiful young women".
She swallowed. It's true that she had a possessive jealousy behavior hyper inked, she knew it, and Anang had made it clear that it was not positive for her.
Jack, mischievously: All your questions about Kerry... (she grinned and cursed him inwardly over 5 generations) Is it because you saw her last week that you're telling me about this?
Sam's eyes widened: How did you know that...?
Jack, still standing: She sent me a text message.
Sam retorted a bit more firmly than she would have liked: Excuse me? (he dodged a triumphant smile and she tilted her head) That's different.
Jack frowned in incomprehension: "Different”? I was with her for 2 months.
Sam became impatient: You didn't care that I was with Pete, (she insisted that he understand her implication with Kerry) right?
She immediately regretted her words at the way he stared at her. This discussion was going in all directions and she didn't want to argue with him anymore. She had a strange feeling that bad memories were surfacing from her relationship with Jonas, when they were arguing and he was even more upset with alcohol. She wondered when she hadn't seen the man in front of him drinking and if this was his way of dealing with his own trauma. She became nervous about bringing up the other subject. After all, she cursed herself, it was because of her that he had been able to meet other women.
Jack: Got any candles?
She looked up at him, surprised by his request and his calm tone. He made a movement towards the white tablecloth and she understood that he was trying to make the meal more intimate, despite their discussion.
Sam swallowed and recovered as she could, disconcerted: Eurrrh yes.
She looked at the chest of drawers behind him and went to get them. He gestured with his hand that he would take care of them in order to share the tasks. She felt guilty for not having thought of it, still not used to that they make this kind of things between them. He put down the two candlesticks and lit them. She fled from his gaze but straightened up to give herself some composure. He turned off the lights in the room, sat down at last and began to eat.
Jack: I just wanted you to be happy (she froze, a flash of her father came over her, he didn't know how to react to her expression and hesitated) And no, I care.
Sam frowned and looked at him strangely: Hu?
Jack gritted his teeth: I was... Frustrated. You had made your choice and I... (he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, then took a deep breath) It was my problem if I was frustrated.
Sam, bitter: Oh please. You didn't react when I showed you his ring. (he froze and looked at her) What?
Jack: Carter. (he insisted) I was answering on camera. (she looked away, confused again that she hadn't thought of the risks, and he added more calmly) It was your life and therefore your choices.
Sam lowered her head and added guiltily: Because I told you no before.
Jack looked at her and hesitated: You were terrified. (she raised her head, they looked at each other for a few seconds in the candlelight, remembering their discussion about their mutual fears, and he finally shrugged a shoulder) I wasn't going to use this to influence your decision.
She remembered her meeting with Joe Spencer wanting to tell him that this whole thing with Pete... before Jack shut him up. He had never had a single judgment towards her relationship with her ex, he had let her live her life, even if it meant making bad decisions. She again felt like she was totally inexperienced in her relationships compared to him, but this time she became aware of something and felt a ball in her stomach grow.
Sam, calmly: Look. Thank you for letting me make my own decisions and experiences. (with a touch of bitterness) But you knew I was making a huge mistake with Pete and you didn't tell me. (he wanted to answer that it was also up to her to notice but she raised her hand to let him finish) I don't need life lessons but friends I can count on to help me find the right path especially when they see me terrified. (he grimaced and she insisted) I left school a long time ago.
Jack nodded apologetically and then hesitated: I have to thank you too... Kind of.
Sam, confused: Why?
Jack, slightly uncomfortable: ‘Cause of your rejections I got to where I am now. (he scratches some invisible things on the tablecloth) I never thought I would become a General one day.
She remembered her father and teachers thinking he was incompetent, and that the Air Force had given her a way out and a stable life. She quickly dismissed the memory of Hanson thinking he was incompetent.
Sam straightened up: You got this place on your own.
Jack moved his hand without looking at her: "Kind of". One of us should have stopped his career for the other and... And I'm kind of thankful that it didn't happen. (she nodded shyly. He winced, really not liking to open up so much, and blew out the stress) But that's not the point.
Sam swallowed and said more softly: I never said I wanted other people. (he tilted his head and looked at her with an unconvinced look, which immediately offended her. She added harshly) Have you seen your ex again? (He widened his eyes in jealousy and stared at her. She looked away, ashamed that she had lost her temper. She remembered her discussion with Anang about her jealousy due to her potential lack of self-confidence and it disturbed her. He sank into his chair in disbelief. She winced with guilt and said softly) I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.
Jack moistened his lips: Listen to me. No, I didn't see her again. No, I don't want to see her again. Not like this. (she frowned, he held back from rolling his eyes and spoke more quickly) She is now only a work colleague. Possibly a friend with time. Nothing more.
She nodded. They looked at each other again, not knowing what to do or say to defuse the situation. It was going so well a few hours ago, they said to themselves, was their relationship going to be explosive like this permanently? At the same time, years of expressing themselves only in innuendo, Jack repeated to himself to reassure himself, normal that they have difficulty to be understood.
Jack: I'd be bad for you if I told you not to have fun.
Sam, in a breath: I don't care.
Jack frowned and took another bite: I thought you didn't like "Little Red Riding Hood" anymore?
Sam, flabbergasted: Your point?
Jack insisted: I tell you I'm bad and you don't care?
Sam grimaced: That's not our topic. (she ticked) Did you do some research?
Jack tilted his head: You have intrigued me. (her cheeks turned red and she looked away, touched that he took the time for this) Desiring someone is good.
Sam looked at him: Desire leads to lack. Lack causes pain.
He questioned her with his eyes but she looked away again.
Jack: "Woe to him who has nothing left to desire."
Sam: "The satisfaction of a desire brings happiness until you desire again."
Jack froze: Ok T. I'm lost. (an uneasy silence settled for a few seconds) Pete?
Sam: What "Pete"?
Jack pointed his fork at her: You were hitting on me a few months before your wedding. (She swallowed and he insisted) You called me what?
Sam: Coincidence.
Jack looked at her, blasé: I have to get out my phone records? (she becomes uncomfortable and he dodges a smile) The fact that you're suddenly back at the base for breakfast?
Sam repeated herself: Coincidence. (she nervously moved her fork and insisted) I had a lot of work to do.
Jack became impatient and replied harshly: We'll end up adding a rule about lying.
Overwhelmed by emotions, she closed in on herself immediately. She grabbed her fork and played with a piece of tomato on her plate to calm herself down.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds and then gently resumed: Barrett?
Sam looked up at him: Barrett? (he looked at her with a knowing look and she frowned) Where did that come from?
Jack tilted his head, a little uneasy about ratting out his friend: Daniel told me.
She rolled her eyes and he pressed her question.
Sam rested her gaze on her plate: Yes, well. Whatever. (He giggled and she straightened up) Um, he's on the waiting list.
Jack: What do you mean?
Sam looked at him and tilted her head: I have another priority call first. (a hint of defiance in her voice) We'll see if the discussion is still interesting in the long run.
Jack plunged his fork back into his food: Okay.
Sam smiled with a touch of pride: Jealous?
Jack: Don't care.
Sam's smile disappeared. He smiled at her reaction and swallowed a piece of his toast.
Sam finally swallowed a mouthful: He's quite handsome.
Jack smiles a few millimeters as he finally sees her eat: And competent.
Sam: Respectful.
Jack: Interested.
Sam swallowed another bite: Integrated.
Jack smiled a little more and took another bite: Available.
Sam: Smart.
Jack: He lives in Washington too, right?
Sam tried: Hit two birds with one stone.
Jack moistened his lips to keep from laughing: Always well dressed.
Sam nodded several times: Tie.
Jack tilted his head: See?
Sam took a sip of her glass of water and insisted on her look: Too bad I already have that call.
Jack: You're the one offering me a double call. (she glared at him and he raised his fork slightly) I didn't ask for anything. (she remained silent so he continued) Martouf?
Sam frowned: Martouf? (They looked at each other, then she lowered her head) Yes, well.
Jack insisted, repeating her words: Whatever.
Sam looked up and saw his triumphant smile: "Whatever"? (she frowned again, puzzled) Do you have any problem with that?
Jack shrugged: As long as I'm on your call list...
She tilted her head and gave him another look. He smiled and chewed his food slowly. She shook her head and looked back at her food.
Jack finished his plate: Narim too, right?
Sam looked up sharply at him and then looked away: Everything was so confusing in my head, I didn't-
Jack frowned: I'm not asking you to justify yourself, Carter. (he insisted) It's okay.
Sam, slightly desperate: "Okay?
Jack began to get impatient: Don't imply that I'm the only one who thinks that one person can't fulfill all our desires. That's all.
Sam took a moment to think and then added in a whisper: I... I don't know what to say. (he finished his drink and shrugged casually. She grabbed her own plate and stood up) Forget it.
Jack rolled his eyes and muttered: Gosh darn it. (he imitated her and put the whole thing in the sink) I'm not forcing you to do anything. I'm telling you, if it ever happens, I want to know about it.
Sam got angry and faced him: I'm afraid of losing you and you tell me that I am unable to restrain myself?!
He stared at her for several seconds, incredulous to hear her say such sentences, especially the first part. It was rather the style of her alternate double, the one who had not joined the Air Force.
Jack exclaimed at this: WHAT?! (she swallowed, lowered her head and fiddled with her hands nervously. He proposed in a monotonous voice to avoid talking about her double again) Anang?
Sam exclaimed: It's not the same thing!
Jack nodded: That's not my point.
Sam frowned: How do you stay so calm? (Both of them widened their eyes at this echo. He questioned her with his eyes to confirm. She nodded and blew) Yeah.
Jack frowned: Hm. (She moved away from him to turn on the kettle switch) Teal'c?
Sam: What, "Teal'c"?
Jack searched in his memory: Drey'auc, Shaun'auc, Ishta, his former neighbor...
Sam went to the cupboard to get two cups: Your point?
Jack insisted mischievously: Love does not divide, it multiplies.
Sam: Math is your language now?
Jack: You're bringing this up because we broke up?
Sam insisted and put the herbal tea bags in the cups: You broke up.
Jack, more gently: Because I broke up?
Sam: Hmm. Maybe I'm having a little trouble picturing you with another person.
Silence. Heavy silence interrupted by the button of the ready kettle. He grabbed it before it reached him.
Jack poured the water into the cups: Fear?
Sam winced and looked away: Forget what I just offered. I thought you might feel the need. (he opened his mouth but she continued) Apparently not. Neither did I.
Jack stared at her and handed her her cup: I wish we didn't make promises to each other that we couldn't keep. (he added a little more harshly) And maybe go back to that rule about lying.
They leaned face to face on the work surface and a tense silence settled for several seconds.
Jack more slowly, hesitantly: Carter. I don't eat Rice Krispies. (she questioned him with her eyes, not understanding the connection, and he reached for his cup) I bought this box the month you kept calling me. (she widened her eyes when she realized he was implying that she had cheated on Pete with him and had already planned breakfast. He winced and shook his head) Sara cheated on me.
Sam froze and stammered: S-Sorry. I-I-
Jack: Still not your fault. (he raised his cup to her before placing it to his lips) Not even hers. (she gave him a skeptical look and he moved his free hand) It was at the very beginning of our relationship. In the middle of the sexual revolution. It wasn't serious yet, and... (his face gradually decomposed, he finally understood why she was broaching this subject. A step lower, he added) And we hadn't talked about it.
Sam lowered her head for a moment, uncomfortable with the subject: So... What now?
Jack repeated to himself, nervously: I don't want any lies about this. That's all.
Sam felt guilty for bringing up the memory and nodded: Okay.
Jack is still feeling her stress: Stop being afraid of what you have and instead focus on what you can be. (she questioned him with her eyes, a flash of RepliCarter running through her mind, and he rephrased) Listen. No matter what happens, we'll always be what we've been. (he tilted his head) Are. (he looked up and rephrased) Now.
Sam reflected on those words: If things fail, just review the parameters.
Jack nodded: Good start.
Sam shook her head: Sorry. (she joked to play down her pessimism and need to control things to avoid risks) It's that damn Murphy's Law.
Jack dodged a smile, looked at his watch and put his cup down: Hm. I'll go.
Sam, quietly, awkwardly: Not after what you drank. (he winced but accepted the argument. She finished her own cup and put it in the sink) We had to go to sleep. The evening- (she caught herself by going to turn off the record player and turn on the lights) It has been a trying day.
He took a deep breath to release the tension and extinguished the candles. He became confused at this gesture, pulverized by a new memory with her double. She came back to him and questioned him with her eyes. He stared at her then came to embrace her. Surprised, she did not answer immediately. He deposited a kiss in her neck and accentuated his embrace. She closed her eyes, put her hands in her back and felt her own muscles relax little by little with the certainty that he would always be there for her in spite of all that could happen. Suddenly a parasitic idea resurfaced. Still in his arms, she reopened her eyes, again worried.
Echo:
*I can feel trouble coming. / Do you have any problem with that? / I'm having a little trouble*
*I need to talk about this. - Listen, can we not talk about this? / And we hadn't talked about it*
*Excuse me?(x3)*
*You like women. Very beautiful young women. / "beautiful young women"*
*In the previous paragraph, there was already an echo on the "clichés" / Can we get back to this cliché you have of me?*
*You're lying. / We'll end up adding a rule about lying. / And maybe go back to that rule about lying. / I don't want any lies about this*
*That's different. - "Different”?*
*You didn't care / And no, I care. / I don't care. / you don't care? / Don't care*
*I was... Frustrated / if I was frustrated.*
*your choice / your choices*
*your life / life lessons*
*Because I told you no before. / your rejections*
*You were terrified. / when they see me terrified. / Fear? / Stop being afraid / I'm afraid of losing you*
*I don't need life lessons / I left school a long time ago.*
*Kind of. / "Kind of". / And I'm kind of thankful*
*Have you seen your ex again? / No, I didn't see her again. *
*I'd be bad for you / I tell you I'm bad *
*"Little Red Riding Hood"? / her cheeks turned red*
*Your point? / That's not my point. / Your point?*
*Desiring someone is good. - Desire / to desire. / a desire brings happiness until you desire again / all our desires*
* to lack. Lack causes pain*
*Coincidence.(x2)*
*You called me what? / I have to get out my phone records? / Um, he's on the waiting list. / I have another priority call first. / Too bad I already have that call. / You're the one offering me a double call. / As long as I'm on your call list... / you kept calling me*
*Pete? / “Pete”?*
*Barrett? - Barrett?*
*Martouf? - Martouf?*
*Teal’c? - What, “Teal’c”?*
*Yes, well. Whatever. / Yes, well. - Whatever. - "Whatever"?*
*It's okay. - “Okay”?*
*That's all. (x2)*
*Forget it. / Forget*
* Love does not divide, it multiplies. - Math is your language now?*
* votre langue, maintenant? - Ça dépend de quelle langue on parle…*
*You're bringing this up because we broke up? - You broke up. - Because I broke up?*
*What now?/ Now.*
Notes:
*Article on slutshaming (source)*
*Social codes are different in the U.S. than in Europe on first dates. In Europe, people tend to date one other person to see if they can take it further - namely, to hook up with that person - whereas in the U.S., people can date others at the same time as long as there has been no conversation between them specifying that they want to hook up (ruled out, most of the time)*
*"Flashbacks from the 1980s to the 2010s: Susan Faludi shows how the only enemies Hollywood recognizes in women are other women."
REFER: Sam and her jealousy
"The press significantly sees this as a "trend". Characters of independent women are disappearing from television dramas, women are increasingly becoming victims of feminism and a 'biological clock' telling them to get married."
REFER: Sam in SG1 8x07 Affinity
"Pressure from traditionalists results in reworking scripts featuring characters of women who are single, independent, or considering abortion"
"The sexual revolution, also known as sexual liberation, was a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships in the United States and the developed world from the 1960s to the 1980s."
"There has been an increase in sexual encounters between unmarried adults. Divorce rates have increased dramatically and marriage rates have decreased significantly during this period. The number of unmarried Americans between the ages of twenty and twenty-four more than doubled from 4.3 million in 1960 to 9.7 million in 1976. Both men and women have sought to reshape marriage through new institutions of open marriage, partner-swapping, swinging, and community sex."
"The women's movement redefined sexuality, not in terms of male satisfaction, but by recognizing women's sexual satisfaction and desire."(source) (source)*
*At the beginning of my fanfic, in my chapter 2, Sam and Jack are in a car in Memphis on their way to a hotel room, and Sam seems to be hitting on Jack even though he hasn't told him that Kerry has left him*
*Excessive jealousy is often seen as love when in fact it is a toxic behavior*
*Murphy's Law, developed by American aerospace engineer Edward A. Murphy Jr. is an adage that states, "Anything that is likely to go wrong will go wrong." Or, in a more detailed variation, "If there are at least two ways to do something and at least one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, someone somewhere is bound to take that route."
This law can be interpreted in two ways:
One, sarcastically, is to take the adage literally, and to set it up as a principle of pessimism. Seen in this light, Murphy's Law is the postulate, elevated to the rank of fundamental principle of the universe, that "the worst is always certain";
The other approach is to take Murphy's Law as a design rule: we do not consider it to be true, but, as a precaution, we design any system as if it were true (disaster scenario). In particular, a piece of equipment must be proof against not only the most unlikely accidents, but also the most foolish maneuvers by the user. This justifies the principles of safety design, which advocate planning and eliminating the possibility of misuse from the outset, for example by means of deception.(source)*
*Article: Decolonize non-monogamy (source)*
*Article: Burying your love does not speed up the healing process. In fact, it makes it that much harder to move forward. (source)*
*Article: Symbolism and representation in "Little Red Riding Hood (source)*
*Article: 8 type of attraction (source)*
*”Don't imply that I'm the only one who thinks that one person can't fulfill all our desires” frefers to Sam's emotional dependence on her relationships. In the canon saga, the fact that she calls Pete the next day after they have spent the night together and that he "sulks" because she is bound to confidentiality + that he stalks her and that she forgives him very quickly are signs that she puts her couple before herself. > emotional dependence. In my fanfic Jack sees that there is something wrong in his vision of the couple and tries to make him understand that instead of an emotional dependence, interdependence would be a good option, seek to rely on each other without being in fusion. And fusion is one of the big problems in movies, series or romantic literary stories.*
*Reminder of my chapter 10:
Anang laughed: You wanted to gut him?
Sam frowned again, and added shyly: Rather them.
Anang stared at her in silence and took a sip of her beer: Why?
Sam looked up at her: What do you mean "why"?
Anang, even more puzzled: Why them and not him? (Sam looked back at her dish, confused by this question. Anang swallowed, then slowly resumed) You were angry with them, but you were angry with yourself for not giving you what you wanted.”*
*Reminder of my chapter 6:
“Teal'c: What's your song about, O'Neill?
Jack: George Michael, T. Not about me. Guilt over infidelity.”*
(...)
Jack slipped his hand between Sam's belt: Once upon a time... (He kissed her earlobe and she moaned as he gently stroked her pubic bone) A little red riding hood... (she frowned and tensed as he reached her clit. He continued his kisses and moved down to her neck) who met the wolf...
She pushed him away from her. Astonished, he stared at her and discovered her state of nervousness. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth to try to regain control.
Jack winced: Sorry.
Sam opened her eyes again, at the same time: Sorry. Sorry I-
Jack: No don't... Don't apologize. We're... We're moving a little fast.
Sam took a step towards him to reassure him: No no. It's not that. It's not that. (She looked away) I... I don't like this tale. (he questioned her with his eyes) I prefer the Wizard of Oz.
Jack, puzzled: Hmm?
Sam hesitated: That was one of my favorite tales. My mother used to read it to me when I was little, but one day I understood the moral.
Again nervous, he didn't insist.”*
*Reminder of my chapter 14:
Daniel:so she contacted Officer Barrett, who contacted the Reno Police Department to put pressure on.
Jack, surprised: Barrett?
Daniel: Barrett will do anything to find Cassandra, Jack. (The soldier looked at him skeptically and Daniel tilted his head) He has a crush on Sam.
Jack raised his eyebrows*
Bonus:
*click here*
Jack teased her with a shoulder movement: Your thoughts?
Sam watched the bread in the pan: Nothing.
Jack, firmly: Carter? (she gave him a half-amused, half-reproving look. He added lower) What?
Sam bit her lip, thinking to herself that he was reading her like an open book: Let's say that if ever... And I mean ever...
Jack, knowing her complicated and incomprehensible theories too well: Here we go.
Sam: If you meet someone else...
Jack grabbed a towel to dry his hands: I can feel trouble coming.
Sam turned to him and took a serious tone: I need to talk about this.
Jack put the dishclothl back on the counter and turned to her: Listen, can we not talk about this?
He stared at her but she seemed more than determined to broach the subject. He took a deep breath and gestured with his hand for the next part, resigned.
Sam hesitated: I... It would be okay. I'll understand.
Jack, stunned: Excuse me?
Sam bit her tongue and put out the fire in the pan: I don't mind if you...
He licked his lips in incomprehension and raised his eyebrows, stunned by her proposal. He grabbed his beer, took a sip and took a few steps around the room to think.
Sam shrugged and slid the toast onto the plates: This will make a good cover.
Jack, to himself, softly: Why am I having this conversation?
Sam stammered awkwardly and mixed vegetables: I-I know how you are.
Jack raised his eyebrows and repeated: Excuse me?!
Sam defensively: You like women. (she frowned and nodded nervously from their earlier discussion of ages) Very beautiful young women.
Jack put his beer bottle on the counter: I need something stronger.
She grimaced and pointed to her wine cellar. He leaned over and chose a bottle of whiskey. She placed a glass in front of him, then grabbed the plates and took them to the dining table.
Jack took one drink and poured himself a second: Can we get back to this cliché you have of me?
Sam turned and stared at him: Hmm?
He drank his whiskey in one gulp and then took several steps around the room to gather his thoughts. She remained silent, too nervous and began to be exhausted from all these conversations. She went to put the cutlery on the table.
Jack poured himself another drink and spoke more quietly: "Chick magnet"? (she remembered this nickname given by Anang, she questioned him with apprehension and put down the salad bowl) How much of an asshole do you consider a guy to be? (more sharply) What if I told ya the same thing? (she remained silent and sat down. He pointed his glass at her and added more calmly) You're lying.
Sam looked up at him: What?
Jack: Your reactions whenever I am with "beautiful young women".
She swallowed. It's true that she had a possessive jealousy behavior hyper inked, she knew it, and Anang had made it clear that it was not positive for her.
Jack, mischievously: All your questions about Kerry... (she grinned and cursed him inwardly over 5 generations) Is it because you saw her last week that you're telling me about this?
Sam's eyes widened: How did you know that...?
Jack, still standing: She sent me a text message.
Sam retorted a bit more firmly than she would have liked: Excuse me? (he dodged a triumphant smile and she tilted her head) That's different.
Jack frowned in incomprehension: "Different”? I was with her for 2 months.
Sam became impatient: You didn't care that I was with Pete, (she insisted that he understand her implication with Kerry) right?
She immediately regretted her words at the way he stared at her. This discussion was going in all directions and she didn't want to argue with him anymore. She had a strange feeling that bad memories were surfacing from her relationship with Jonas, when they were arguing and he was even more upset with alcohol. She wondered when she hadn't seen the man in front of him drinking and if this was his way of dealing with his own trauma. She became nervous about bringing up the other subject. After all, she cursed herself, it was because of her that he had been able to meet other women.
Jack: Got any candles?
She looked up at him, surprised by his request and his calm tone. He made a movement towards the white tablecloth and she understood that he was trying to make the meal more intimate, despite their discussion.
Sam swallowed and recovered as she could, disconcerted: Eurrrh yes.
She looked at the chest of drawers behind him and went to get them. He gestured with his hand that he would take care of them in order to share the tasks. She felt guilty for not having thought of it, still not used to that they make this kind of things between them. He put down the two candlesticks and lit them. She fled from his gaze but straightened up to give herself some composure. He turned off the lights in the room, sat down at last and began to eat.
Jack: I just wanted you to be happy (she froze, a flash of her father came over her, he didn't know how to react to her expression and hesitated) And no, I care.
Sam frowned and looked at him strangely: Hu?
Jack gritted his teeth: I was... Frustrated. You had made your choice and I... (he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, then took a deep breath) It was my problem if I was frustrated.
Sam, bitter: Oh please. You didn't react when I showed you his ring. (he froze and looked at her) What?
Jack: Carter. (he insisted) I was answering on camera. (she looked away, confused again that she hadn't thought of the risks, and he added more calmly) It was your life and therefore your choices.
Sam lowered her head and added guiltily: Because I told you no before.
Jack looked at her and hesitated: You were terrified. (she raised her head, they looked at each other for a few seconds in the candlelight, remembering their discussion about their mutual fears, and he finally shrugged a shoulder) I wasn't going to use this to influence your decision.
She remembered her meeting with Joe Spencer wanting to tell him that this whole thing with Pete... before Jack shut him up. He had never had a single judgment towards her relationship with her ex, he had let her live her life, even if it meant making bad decisions. She again felt like she was totally inexperienced in her relationships compared to him, but this time she became aware of something and felt a ball in her stomach grow.
Sam, calmly: Look. Thank you for letting me make my own decisions and experiences. (with a touch of bitterness) But you knew I was making a huge mistake with Pete and you didn't tell me. (he wanted to answer that it was also up to her to notice but she raised her hand to let him finish) I don't need life lessons but friends I can count on to help me find the right path especially when they see me terrified. (he grimaced and she insisted) I left school a long time ago.
Jack nodded apologetically and then hesitated: I have to thank you too... Kind of.
Sam, confused: Why?
Jack, slightly uncomfortable: ‘Cause of your rejections I got to where I am now. (he scratches some invisible things on the tablecloth) I never thought I would become a General one day.
She remembered her father and teachers thinking he was incompetent, and that the Air Force had given her a way out and a stable life. She quickly dismissed the memory of Hanson thinking he was incompetent.
Sam straightened up: You got this place on your own.
Jack moved his hand without looking at her: "Kind of". One of us should have stopped his career for the other and... And I'm kind of thankful that it didn't happen. (she nodded shyly. He winced, really not liking to open up so much, and blew out the stress) But that's not the point.
Sam swallowed and said more softly: I never said I wanted other people. (he tilted his head and looked at her with an unconvinced look, which immediately offended her. She added harshly) Have you seen your ex again? (He widened his eyes in jealousy and stared at her. She looked away, ashamed that she had lost her temper. She remembered her discussion with Anang about her jealousy due to her potential lack of self-confidence and it disturbed her. He sank into his chair in disbelief. She winced with guilt and said softly) I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.
Jack moistened his lips: Listen to me. No, I didn't see her again. No, I don't want to see her again. Not like this. (she frowned, he held back from rolling his eyes and spoke more quickly) She is now only a work colleague. Possibly a friend with time. Nothing more.
She nodded. They looked at each other again, not knowing what to do or say to defuse the situation. It was going so well a few hours ago, they said to themselves, was their relationship going to be explosive like this permanently? At the same time, years of expressing themselves only in innuendo, Jack repeated to himself to reassure himself, normal that they have difficulty to be understood.
Jack: I'd be bad for you if I told you not to have fun.
Sam, in a breath: I don't care.
Jack frowned and took another bite: I thought you didn't like "Little Red Riding Hood" anymore?
Sam, flabbergasted: Your point?
Jack insisted: I tell you I'm bad and you don't care?
Sam grimaced: That's not our topic. (she ticked) Did you do some research?
Jack tilted his head: You have intrigued me. (her cheeks turned red and she looked away, touched that he took the time for this) Desiring someone is good.
Sam looked at him: Desire leads to lack. Lack causes pain.
He questioned her with his eyes but she looked away again.
Jack: "Woe to him who has nothing left to desire."
Sam: "The satisfaction of a desire brings happiness until you desire again."
Jack froze: Ok T. I'm lost. (an uneasy silence settled for a few seconds) Pete?
Sam: What "Pete"?
Jack pointed his fork at her: You were hitting on me a few months before your wedding. (She swallowed and he insisted) You called me what?
Sam: Coincidence.
Jack looked at her, blasé: I have to get out my phone records? (she becomes uncomfortable and he dodges a smile) The fact that you're suddenly back at the base for breakfast?
Sam repeated herself: Coincidence. (she nervously moved her fork and insisted) I had a lot of work to do.
Jack became impatient and replied harshly: We'll end up adding a rule about lying.
Overwhelmed by emotions, she closed in on herself immediately. She grabbed her fork and played with a piece of tomato on her plate to calm herself down.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds and then gently resumed: Barrett?
Sam looked up at him: Barrett? (he looked at her with a knowing look and she frowned) Where did that come from?
Jack tilted his head, a little uneasy about ratting out his friend: Daniel told me.
She rolled her eyes and he pressed her question.
Sam rested her gaze on her plate: Yes, well. Whatever. (He giggled and she straightened up) Um, he's on the waiting list.
Jack: What do you mean?
Sam looked at him and tilted her head: I have another priority call first. (a hint of defiance in her voice) We'll see if the discussion is still interesting in the long run.
Jack plunged his fork back into his food: Okay.
Sam smiled with a touch of pride: Jealous?
Jack: Don't care.
Sam's smile disappeared. He smiled at her reaction and swallowed a piece of his toast.
Sam finally swallowed a mouthful: He's quite handsome.
Jack smiles a few millimeters as he finally sees her eat: And competent.
Sam: Respectful.
Jack: Interested.
Sam swallowed another bite: Integrated.
Jack smiled a little more and took another bite: Available.
Sam: Smart.
Jack: He lives in Washington too, right?
Sam tried: Hit two birds with one stone.
Jack moistened his lips to keep from laughing: Always well dressed.
Sam nodded several times: Tie.
Jack tilted his head: See?
Sam took a sip of her glass of water and insisted on her look: Too bad I already have that call.
Jack: You're the one offering me a double call. (she glared at him and he raised his fork slightly) I didn't ask for anything. (she remained silent so he continued) Martouf?
Sam frowned: Martouf? (They looked at each other, then she lowered her head) Yes, well.
Jack insisted, repeating her words: Whatever.
Sam looked up and saw his triumphant smile: "Whatever"? (she frowned again, puzzled) Do you have any problem with that?
Jack shrugged: As long as I'm on your call list...
She tilted her head and gave him another look. He smiled and chewed his food slowly. She shook her head and looked back at her food.
Jack finished his plate: Narim too, right?
Sam looked up sharply at him and then looked away: Everything was so confusing in my head, I didn't-
Jack frowned: I'm not asking you to justify yourself, Carter. (he insisted) It's okay.
Sam, slightly desperate: "Okay?
Jack began to get impatient: Don't imply that I'm the only one who thinks that one person can't fulfill all our desires. That's all.
Sam took a moment to think and then added in a whisper: I... I don't know what to say. (he finished his drink and shrugged casually. She grabbed her own plate and stood up) Forget it.
Jack rolled his eyes and muttered: Gosh darn it. (he imitated her and put the whole thing in the sink) I'm not forcing you to do anything. I'm telling you, if it ever happens, I want to know about it.
Sam got angry and faced him: I'm afraid of losing you and you tell me that I am unable to restrain myself?!
He stared at her for several seconds, incredulous to hear her say such sentences, especially the first part. It was rather the style of her alternate double, the one who had not joined the Air Force.
Jack exclaimed at this: WHAT?! (she swallowed, lowered her head and fiddled with her hands nervously. He proposed in a monotonous voice to avoid talking about her double again) Anang?
Sam exclaimed: It's not the same thing!
Jack nodded: That's not my point.
Sam frowned: How do you stay so calm? (Both of them widened their eyes at this echo. He questioned her with his eyes to confirm. She nodded and blew) Yeah.
Jack frowned: Hm. (She moved away from him to turn on the kettle switch) Teal'c?
Sam: What, "Teal'c"?
Jack searched in his memory: Drey'auc, Shaun'auc, Ishta, his former neighbor...
Sam went to the cupboard to get two cups: Your point?
Jack insisted mischievously: Love does not divide, it multiplies.
Sam: Math is your language now?
Jack: You're bringing this up because we broke up?
Sam insisted and put the herbal tea bags in the cups: You broke up.
Jack, more gently: Because I broke up?
Sam: Hmm. Maybe I'm having a little trouble picturing you with another person.
Silence. Heavy silence interrupted by the button of the ready kettle. He grabbed it before it reached him.
Jack poured the water into the cups: Fear?
Sam winced and looked away: Forget what I just offered. I thought you might feel the need. (he opened his mouth but she continued) Apparently not. Neither did I.
Jack stared at her and handed her her cup: I wish we didn't make promises to each other that we couldn't keep. (he added a little more harshly) And maybe go back to that rule about lying.
They leaned face to face on the work surface and a tense silence settled for several seconds.
Jack more slowly, hesitantly: Carter. I don't eat Rice Krispies. (she questioned him with her eyes, not understanding the connection, and he reached for his cup) I bought this box the month you kept calling me. (she widened her eyes when she realized he was implying that she had cheated on Pete with him and had already planned breakfast. He winced and shook his head) Sara cheated on me.
Sam froze and stammered: S-Sorry. I-I-
Jack: Still not your fault. (he raised his cup to her before placing it to his lips) Not even hers. (she gave him a skeptical look and he moved his free hand) It was at the very beginning of our relationship. In the middle of the sexual revolution. It wasn't serious yet, and... (his face gradually decomposed, he finally understood why she was broaching this subject. A step lower, he added) And we hadn't talked about it.
Sam lowered her head for a moment, uncomfortable with the subject: So... What now?
Jack repeated to himself, nervously: I don't want any lies about this. That's all.
Sam felt guilty for bringing up the memory and nodded: Okay.
Jack is still feeling her stress: Stop being afraid of what you have and instead focus on what you can be. (she questioned him with her eyes, a flash of RepliCarter running through her mind, and he rephrased) Listen. No matter what happens, we'll always be what we've been. (he tilted his head) Are. (he looked up and rephrased) Now.
Sam reflected on those words: If things fail, just review the parameters.
Jack nodded: Good start.
Sam shook her head: Sorry. (she joked to play down her pessimism and need to control things to avoid risks) It's that damn Murphy's Law.
Jack dodged a smile, looked at his watch and put his cup down: Hm. I'll go.
Sam, quietly, awkwardly: Not after what you drank. (he winced but accepted the argument. She finished her own cup and put it in the sink) We had to go to sleep. The evening- (she caught herself by going to turn off the record player and turn on the lights) It has been a trying day.
He took a deep breath to release the tension and extinguished the candles. He became confused at this gesture, pulverized by a new memory with her double. She came back to him and questioned him with her eyes. He stared at her then came to embrace her. Surprised, she did not answer immediately. He deposited a kiss in her neck and accentuated his embrace. She closed her eyes, put her hands in her back and felt her own muscles relax little by little with the certainty that he would always be there for her in spite of all that could happen. Suddenly a parasitic idea resurfaced. Still in his arms, she reopened her eyes, again worried.
Echo:
*I can feel trouble coming. / Do you have any problem with that? / I'm having a little trouble*
*I need to talk about this. - Listen, can we not talk about this? / And we hadn't talked about it*
*Excuse me?(x3)*
*You like women. Very beautiful young women. / "beautiful young women"*
*In the previous paragraph, there was already an echo on the "clichés" / Can we get back to this cliché you have of me?*
*You're lying. / We'll end up adding a rule about lying. / And maybe go back to that rule about lying. / I don't want any lies about this*
*That's different. - "Different”?*
*You didn't care / And no, I care. / I don't care. / you don't care? / Don't care*
*I was... Frustrated / if I was frustrated.*
*your choice / your choices*
*your life / life lessons*
*Because I told you no before. / your rejections*
*You were terrified. / when they see me terrified. / Fear? / Stop being afraid / I'm afraid of losing you*
*I don't need life lessons / I left school a long time ago.*
*Kind of. / "Kind of". / And I'm kind of thankful*
*Have you seen your ex again? / No, I didn't see her again. *
*I'd be bad for you / I tell you I'm bad *
*"Little Red Riding Hood"? / her cheeks turned red*
*Your point? / That's not my point. / Your point?*
*Desiring someone is good. - Desire / to desire. / a desire brings happiness until you desire again / all our desires*
* to lack. Lack causes pain*
*Coincidence.(x2)*
*You called me what? / I have to get out my phone records? / Um, he's on the waiting list. / I have another priority call first. / Too bad I already have that call. / You're the one offering me a double call. / As long as I'm on your call list... / you kept calling me*
*Pete? / “Pete”?*
*Barrett? - Barrett?*
*Martouf? - Martouf?*
*Teal’c? - What, “Teal’c”?*
*Yes, well. Whatever. / Yes, well. - Whatever. - "Whatever"?*
*It's okay. - “Okay”?*
*That's all. (x2)*
*Forget it. / Forget*
* Love does not divide, it multiplies. - Math is your language now?*
* votre langue, maintenant? - Ça dépend de quelle langue on parle…*
*You're bringing this up because we broke up? - You broke up. - Because I broke up?*
*What now?/ Now.*
Notes:
*Article on slutshaming (source)*
*Social codes are different in the U.S. than in Europe on first dates. In Europe, people tend to date one other person to see if they can take it further - namely, to hook up with that person - whereas in the U.S., people can date others at the same time as long as there has been no conversation between them specifying that they want to hook up (ruled out, most of the time)*
*"Flashbacks from the 1980s to the 2010s: Susan Faludi shows how the only enemies Hollywood recognizes in women are other women."
REFER: Sam and her jealousy
"The press significantly sees this as a "trend". Characters of independent women are disappearing from television dramas, women are increasingly becoming victims of feminism and a 'biological clock' telling them to get married."
REFER: Sam in SG1 8x07 Affinity
"Pressure from traditionalists results in reworking scripts featuring characters of women who are single, independent, or considering abortion"
"The sexual revolution, also known as sexual liberation, was a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships in the United States and the developed world from the 1960s to the 1980s."
"There has been an increase in sexual encounters between unmarried adults. Divorce rates have increased dramatically and marriage rates have decreased significantly during this period. The number of unmarried Americans between the ages of twenty and twenty-four more than doubled from 4.3 million in 1960 to 9.7 million in 1976. Both men and women have sought to reshape marriage through new institutions of open marriage, partner-swapping, swinging, and community sex."
"The women's movement redefined sexuality, not in terms of male satisfaction, but by recognizing women's sexual satisfaction and desire."(source) (source)*
*At the beginning of my fanfic, in my chapter 2, Sam and Jack are in a car in Memphis on their way to a hotel room, and Sam seems to be hitting on Jack even though he hasn't told him that Kerry has left him*
*Excessive jealousy is often seen as love when in fact it is a toxic behavior*
*Murphy's Law, developed by American aerospace engineer Edward A. Murphy Jr. is an adage that states, "Anything that is likely to go wrong will go wrong." Or, in a more detailed variation, "If there are at least two ways to do something and at least one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, someone somewhere is bound to take that route."
This law can be interpreted in two ways:
One, sarcastically, is to take the adage literally, and to set it up as a principle of pessimism. Seen in this light, Murphy's Law is the postulate, elevated to the rank of fundamental principle of the universe, that "the worst is always certain";
The other approach is to take Murphy's Law as a design rule: we do not consider it to be true, but, as a precaution, we design any system as if it were true (disaster scenario). In particular, a piece of equipment must be proof against not only the most unlikely accidents, but also the most foolish maneuvers by the user. This justifies the principles of safety design, which advocate planning and eliminating the possibility of misuse from the outset, for example by means of deception.(source)*
*Article: Decolonize non-monogamy (source)*
*Article: Burying your love does not speed up the healing process. In fact, it makes it that much harder to move forward. (source)*
*Article: Symbolism and representation in "Little Red Riding Hood (source)*
*Article: 8 type of attraction (source)*
*”Don't imply that I'm the only one who thinks that one person can't fulfill all our desires” frefers to Sam's emotional dependence on her relationships. In the canon saga, the fact that she calls Pete the next day after they have spent the night together and that he "sulks" because she is bound to confidentiality + that he stalks her and that she forgives him very quickly are signs that she puts her couple before herself. > emotional dependence. In my fanfic Jack sees that there is something wrong in his vision of the couple and tries to make him understand that instead of an emotional dependence, interdependence would be a good option, seek to rely on each other without being in fusion. And fusion is one of the big problems in movies, series or romantic literary stories.*
*Reminder of my chapter 10:
Anang laughed: You wanted to gut him?
Sam frowned again, and added shyly: Rather them.
Anang stared at her in silence and took a sip of her beer: Why?
Sam looked up at her: What do you mean "why"?
Anang, even more puzzled: Why them and not him? (Sam looked back at her dish, confused by this question. Anang swallowed, then slowly resumed) You were angry with them, but you were angry with yourself for not giving you what you wanted.”*
*Reminder of my chapter 6:
“Teal'c: What's your song about, O'Neill?
Jack: George Michael, T. Not about me. Guilt over infidelity.”*
(...)
Jack slipped his hand between Sam's belt: Once upon a time... (He kissed her earlobe and she moaned as he gently stroked her pubic bone) A little red riding hood... (she frowned and tensed as he reached her clit. He continued his kisses and moved down to her neck) who met the wolf...
She pushed him away from her. Astonished, he stared at her and discovered her state of nervousness. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth to try to regain control.
Jack winced: Sorry.
Sam opened her eyes again, at the same time: Sorry. Sorry I-
Jack: No don't... Don't apologize. We're... We're moving a little fast.
Sam took a step towards him to reassure him: No no. It's not that. It's not that. (She looked away) I... I don't like this tale. (he questioned her with his eyes) I prefer the Wizard of Oz.
Jack, puzzled: Hmm?
Sam hesitated: That was one of my favorite tales. My mother used to read it to me when I was little, but one day I understood the moral.
Again nervous, he didn't insist.”*
*Reminder of my chapter 14:
Daniel:so she contacted Officer Barrett, who contacted the Reno Police Department to put pressure on.
Jack, surprised: Barrett?
Daniel: Barrett will do anything to find Cassandra, Jack. (The soldier looked at him skeptically and Daniel tilted his head) He has a crush on Sam.
Jack raised his eyebrows*
Bonus:
*click here*
The alarm screamed in their ears. He grunted and hid his face under the comforter. She turned off the underworld machine, turned on another torture device - commonly called a bedside lamp - stretched and turned to the limp form on the other side of the bed.
Sam moved her face closer to the approximate location of the head: Coffee and shower or... Shower and coffee?
He pushed back the comforter with a sudden gesture, stretched while rubbing his eyes with his left hand and sought with the other hand the back of Sam. He forced her to lie down again on his shoulder, she slipped her hand on his chest.
Jack blinked, his voice hoarse: Hi.
Sam: Hi.
Jack yawned deeply then struggled to keep his eyes open: What time is it?
Sam: 5:30.
Jack closed his eyes: Oooooh. Late for my lie-in.
Sam: You may have all the time in the world, but I personally have a ton of boxes waiting for me here. (she tilted her head) And at my lab.
Jack finally managed to get used to the light and turned his head toward her: "Hey old lady where you goin' to?" (She smiled at the memory of their conversation last night about their ages, he tucked a lock of hair back behind her ears and stared at her, more than happy to wake up next to her. He smiled at the many spikes in her hair. She noticed it and mumbled while combing her hair as she could) I have to wash them.
Jack, amused to see her ashamed of this: Where in your schedule am I?
Sam brought her head close to his ear: Hence my question about your priorities.
She caught his ear between her teeth. He groaned while closing his eyes, surprised. He felt his morning erection increase in intensity and she took advantage of it to continue her kisses in his neck, his collarbone, then captured gently his lips. She lifted the comforter and came to sit astride him while continuing her kiss. He exhaled of pleasure and slipped his hand under the tank top of the young woman to capture the heat of her skin. She finally detached her hold and plunged her eyes in his. He half-opened his mouth by seeing her so eager to be with him and she frowned at his reaction. She stared at him for several seconds
Jack muttered apprehensively: What?
Sam tried: You are not a safe bet.
Jack froze, never having admitted to her that he thought that: What?
Sam: I don't want you to think that I think of you as one.
Jack, confused: How... How did you...?
Sam: A hunch. (she continued to stare at him) I don't want to be with you because you're a sure bet. (she insisted) I want to be with you because you are you.
They looked at each other for a moment and then he nodded, intimidated. He approached his face and she came to kiss him passionately. He blew of pleasure and put his two hands on his cheeks. He felt nevertheless that she did not increase the caresses and came to question it of the glance. She turned away the glance, straightened up and came to position herself beside him.
Sam, hesitantly: We need to talk.
Jack tried to play it down despite his concern about her seriousness: Is it my morning breath?
Sam: This is important. (he straightened up in turn to signal that he was ready to listen. She became more and more nervous as she spoke) If I don't tell you now I don't know when I'll tell you and it's better to do it face to face. (she swallows) I am pregnant.
Jack raised his eyebrows: What?
Sam: For three weeks. Brightman thought I was exhausted, and Dr. Dang gave her my test results, thinking it would be better if it came from her.
Jack stammered: I... I thought we had... (he tilted his head a few times) I mean...
Sam nodded: Yeah. Well… (she moistened her lips with nervousness) The rate is more like 98% with and drops to 88% if you take into account possible accidents.
He gave her a slightly panicked look at having this information, not knowing how to react, and then perked up.
Jack: Brightman?
Sam raised a hand and took on a reassuring voice: She doesn't know anything and has promised not to do any further testing. (he nodded, not reassured though. This doctor was definitely going to kill him one day soon. She added with great concern about his possible answer) Look, I don't know if I'm making a mistake but... Is it selfish of me to want to keep him even if we separate? (he froze again and she swallowed) Sorry.
Jack shook his head slightly: Hey. We're just talking. (she nodded and looked away anyway) Everything's fine. Just... (he tilted his head) Stolen base.
Sam tried to compose herself: What I'm trying to say is that even though I know the risks, I would love for you to be the father. (She tilted her head) But I'm not the only one making this decision.
Jack: I can try to get through civilian if you-
Sam widened her eyes: No, no. We've talked about this before.
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness: Okay but... I'd like to be part of the party.
Sam, uncomfortable: Me too.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds: Would you like me to move to Nevada?
Sam froze: What? No, no. You have to stay in Washington. (Her anxiety spiked and she quickly pulled herself together) Sorry. I'm… Let's just leave it at that, please?
Jack raised his hand to calm her down: Everything's fine. We're just talking.
Sam found the courage: I... I don't want to wait for a father to become a mother.
Jack tilted his head: And parents are still parents even if they are separated.
He finally understood her behavior the day before when he had mentioned the possibility of having a child with Laira.
Sam: My life will become more stable with this new position.
Jack: Okay... (clears his throat) Ugh... So... What now?
Sam shrugged a shoulder and tried: Well, this being an unofficial relationship, would you mind if that remained unofficial too?
Jack raised his eyebrows: Father under X? (she nodded and looked away in guilt. He took several seconds to think about it and finally took a deep breath) I guess that's the best thing to do. (she looked up at him, surprised that he agreed, and they looked at each other for a moment. He added with a touch of mischief) Definitely not a safe bet, right?
Sam closed her eyes: Please.
She opened her eyes again and saw him looking at her.
Jack took a serious tone and added gently: I'm okay with that.
She looked at him for any lie and then nodded with a smile, reassured.
Echo
*Coffee and shower or... Shower and coffee?*
*Hi. - Hi.*
*You are not a safe bet./ you're a sure bet/ Definitely not a safe bet, right?*
*I don't want to be with you because / I want to be with you because you are you. *
*We need to talk. / We're just talking. / We've talked about this before. / We're just talking*
*if we separate? / if they are separated.*
*Sorry(x2)*
*No, no.(x2)*
*I'd like to be part of / Would you like me to*
*Everything's fine.(x2)*
Notes:
*In my chapter 1, the Air Force talks about young Sam:
Colonel Gary: She has shown that she has been able to excel both physically and mentally. On the field, she is exemplary.
General to both teachers: A safe bet to the Air Force?”*
*Recalling my previous chapter, Jack tells her “Brightman also requested to be transferred to Area 51 (she looked up sharply at him in panic but he didn't notice, settling into the sofa)”
This explains Sam's behavior towards Brightman*
*” I don't know if I'm making a mistake but...“ refers to my chapter 16:
Sam: Am I bothering him? Am I making a huge mistake? (he frowned but didn't have time to ask her the reason for her concern)”*
*Information on stealing bases (source)*
*"Hey old lady where you goin' to?" refers to a military march (source)*
*I've always found it very harsh that Sam would have Jack say in his imagination that he was a "sure bet", as if with him it was already won, that he was already "acquired" (we're back to the "possession of the other"). Imagine the opposite if a man talked like that about a woman. Finally, I would hate to hear that I am a "sure bet "*
Sam moved her face closer to the approximate location of the head: Coffee and shower or... Shower and coffee?
He pushed back the comforter with a sudden gesture, stretched while rubbing his eyes with his left hand and sought with the other hand the back of Sam. He forced her to lie down again on his shoulder, she slipped her hand on his chest.
Jack blinked, his voice hoarse: Hi.
Sam: Hi.
Jack yawned deeply then struggled to keep his eyes open: What time is it?
Sam: 5:30.
Jack closed his eyes: Oooooh. Late for my lie-in.
Sam: You may have all the time in the world, but I personally have a ton of boxes waiting for me here. (she tilted her head) And at my lab.
Jack finally managed to get used to the light and turned his head toward her: "Hey old lady where you goin' to?" (She smiled at the memory of their conversation last night about their ages, he tucked a lock of hair back behind her ears and stared at her, more than happy to wake up next to her. He smiled at the many spikes in her hair. She noticed it and mumbled while combing her hair as she could) I have to wash them.
Jack, amused to see her ashamed of this: Where in your schedule am I?
Sam brought her head close to his ear: Hence my question about your priorities.
She caught his ear between her teeth. He groaned while closing his eyes, surprised. He felt his morning erection increase in intensity and she took advantage of it to continue her kisses in his neck, his collarbone, then captured gently his lips. She lifted the comforter and came to sit astride him while continuing her kiss. He exhaled of pleasure and slipped his hand under the tank top of the young woman to capture the heat of her skin. She finally detached her hold and plunged her eyes in his. He half-opened his mouth by seeing her so eager to be with him and she frowned at his reaction. She stared at him for several seconds
Jack muttered apprehensively: What?
Sam tried: You are not a safe bet.
Jack froze, never having admitted to her that he thought that: What?
Sam: I don't want you to think that I think of you as one.
Jack, confused: How... How did you...?
Sam: A hunch. (she continued to stare at him) I don't want to be with you because you're a sure bet. (she insisted) I want to be with you because you are you.
They looked at each other for a moment and then he nodded, intimidated. He approached his face and she came to kiss him passionately. He blew of pleasure and put his two hands on his cheeks. He felt nevertheless that she did not increase the caresses and came to question it of the glance. She turned away the glance, straightened up and came to position herself beside him.
Sam, hesitantly: We need to talk.
Jack tried to play it down despite his concern about her seriousness: Is it my morning breath?
Sam: This is important. (he straightened up in turn to signal that he was ready to listen. She became more and more nervous as she spoke) If I don't tell you now I don't know when I'll tell you and it's better to do it face to face. (she swallows) I am pregnant.
Jack raised his eyebrows: What?
Sam: For three weeks. Brightman thought I was exhausted, and Dr. Dang gave her my test results, thinking it would be better if it came from her.
Jack stammered: I... I thought we had... (he tilted his head a few times) I mean...
Sam nodded: Yeah. Well… (she moistened her lips with nervousness) The rate is more like 98% with and drops to 88% if you take into account possible accidents.
He gave her a slightly panicked look at having this information, not knowing how to react, and then perked up.
Jack: Brightman?
Sam raised a hand and took on a reassuring voice: She doesn't know anything and has promised not to do any further testing. (he nodded, not reassured though. This doctor was definitely going to kill him one day soon. She added with great concern about his possible answer) Look, I don't know if I'm making a mistake but... Is it selfish of me to want to keep him even if we separate? (he froze again and she swallowed) Sorry.
Jack shook his head slightly: Hey. We're just talking. (she nodded and looked away anyway) Everything's fine. Just... (he tilted his head) Stolen base.
Sam tried to compose herself: What I'm trying to say is that even though I know the risks, I would love for you to be the father. (She tilted her head) But I'm not the only one making this decision.
Jack: I can try to get through civilian if you-
Sam widened her eyes: No, no. We've talked about this before.
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness: Okay but... I'd like to be part of the party.
Sam, uncomfortable: Me too.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds: Would you like me to move to Nevada?
Sam froze: What? No, no. You have to stay in Washington. (Her anxiety spiked and she quickly pulled herself together) Sorry. I'm… Let's just leave it at that, please?
Jack raised his hand to calm her down: Everything's fine. We're just talking.
Sam found the courage: I... I don't want to wait for a father to become a mother.
Jack tilted his head: And parents are still parents even if they are separated.
He finally understood her behavior the day before when he had mentioned the possibility of having a child with Laira.
Sam: My life will become more stable with this new position.
Jack: Okay... (clears his throat) Ugh... So... What now?
Sam shrugged a shoulder and tried: Well, this being an unofficial relationship, would you mind if that remained unofficial too?
Jack raised his eyebrows: Father under X? (she nodded and looked away in guilt. He took several seconds to think about it and finally took a deep breath) I guess that's the best thing to do. (she looked up at him, surprised that he agreed, and they looked at each other for a moment. He added with a touch of mischief) Definitely not a safe bet, right?
Sam closed her eyes: Please.
She opened her eyes again and saw him looking at her.
Jack took a serious tone and added gently: I'm okay with that.
She looked at him for any lie and then nodded with a smile, reassured.
Echo
*Coffee and shower or... Shower and coffee?*
*Hi. - Hi.*
*You are not a safe bet./ you're a sure bet/ Definitely not a safe bet, right?*
*I don't want to be with you because / I want to be with you because you are you. *
*We need to talk. / We're just talking. / We've talked about this before. / We're just talking*
*if we separate? / if they are separated.*
*Sorry(x2)*
*No, no.(x2)*
*I'd like to be part of / Would you like me to*
*Everything's fine.(x2)*
Notes:
*In my chapter 1, the Air Force talks about young Sam:
Colonel Gary: She has shown that she has been able to excel both physically and mentally. On the field, she is exemplary.
General to both teachers: A safe bet to the Air Force?”*
*Recalling my previous chapter, Jack tells her “Brightman also requested to be transferred to Area 51 (she looked up sharply at him in panic but he didn't notice, settling into the sofa)”
This explains Sam's behavior towards Brightman*
*” I don't know if I'm making a mistake but...“ refers to my chapter 16:
Sam: Am I bothering him? Am I making a huge mistake? (he frowned but didn't have time to ask her the reason for her concern)”*
*Information on stealing bases (source)*
*"Hey old lady where you goin' to?" refers to a military march (source)*
*I've always found it very harsh that Sam would have Jack say in his imagination that he was a "sure bet", as if with him it was already won, that he was already "acquired" (we're back to the "possession of the other"). Imagine the opposite if a man talked like that about a woman. Finally, I would hate to hear that I am a "sure bet "*
CW: *racism* *black misogyny* *colonization* *specism*
A teapot, a coffee pot, several empty cups, bottles of cold beer and a plate of Konparèt cookies brought by Bell were arranged on the coffee table. Bell, Alexander and Sam were already seated around, and Sam suspected the host had offered so many choices so as not to reveal the fact that she couldn't have any alcohol herself tonight. Jack seemed to be looking for something near the TV cabinet. Someone knocked on the door and opened it before waiting for an answer.
Daniel looked over: Hello? (Jack waved his hand at him without looking at him, still focused on his task, and Daniel walked down the steps followed by Teal'c) Sorry I'm late. (he put a thumb on her shoulder) The protests are still blocking the roads.
Bell muttered: And some are expected to be there.
Alexander lowered his head and tried to hold back a laugh. Daniel raised his eyebrows and settled into a chair. Teal'c seemed very curious about the cookies and was pleasantly surprised by the taste of ginger on his palate. Bell smiled at him and stood up, proud of herself. Jack finally found the book she had asked him to read when they met, gave it back to her and sat down, grabbing his already-begun beer. The doctor handed the book to Sam, who gasped in surprise but grabbed the book at the doctor's instance. She read the cover, her face broke down and she quickly put the book away before the others noticed the exchange.
Sam tried to change the subject: Anang?
Alexander: She's fine, but she needs to stay where she is for now. (she nodded and he looked around at the finally fully settled assembly) So? What's going on?
A teapot, a coffee pot, several empty cups, bottles of cold beer and a plate of Konparèt cookies brought by Bell were arranged on the coffee table. Bell, Alexander and Sam were already seated around, and Sam suspected the host had offered so many choices so as not to reveal the fact that she couldn't have any alcohol herself tonight. Jack seemed to be looking for something near the TV cabinet. Someone knocked on the door and opened it before waiting for an answer.
Daniel looked over: Hello? (Jack waved his hand at him without looking at him, still focused on his task, and Daniel walked down the steps followed by Teal'c) Sorry I'm late. (he put a thumb on her shoulder) The protests are still blocking the roads.
Bell muttered: And some are expected to be there.
Alexander lowered his head and tried to hold back a laugh. Daniel raised his eyebrows and settled into a chair. Teal'c seemed very curious about the cookies and was pleasantly surprised by the taste of ginger on his palate. Bell smiled at him and stood up, proud of herself. Jack finally found the book she had asked him to read when they met, gave it back to her and sat down, grabbing his already-begun beer. The doctor handed the book to Sam, who gasped in surprise but grabbed the book at the doctor's instance. She read the cover, her face broke down and she quickly put the book away before the others noticed the exchange.
Sam tried to change the subject: Anang?
Alexander: She's fine, but she needs to stay where she is for now. (she nodded and he looked around at the finally fully settled assembly) So? What's going on?
*
Bell gritted her teeth: You are asking us to colonize a planet.
Daniel tried to temporize: The planet is empty of intelligent forms. It would be more like building a kind of... a...
Teal'c helped him with his word search: Kal Mah.
Sam nodded toward him and translated for both doctors: Sanctuary.
Daniel finally found the expression he was looking for: Land of Asylum.
Jack, lower: And in this case it's a moon.
Daniel raised his eyebrows at him, silently asking how this helped channel the conversation. His friend took a sip of his beer with a knowing look, meaning that at least he was trying to lighten the mood.
Daniel nodded: "Relocate" would be a more appropriate term.
Bell added sarcastically and challenged him with her eyes: Try "deport".
Alexander muttered an argument that they would potentially understand better: Or "conscription."
The unease around the table soared. Bell took a sip and then looked at the beverage with disgust. Nothing worse than tea bags, she thought. Alexander offered his cup of coffee instead. She gave him a blasé look and the man drank a sip to hold back another laugh.
Daniel put his glasses back on properly: Listen-
Bell dropped her cup on the table and exclaimed: I'm not giving up the fight here! (she moved her arm briskly towards the bay window so that they would understand the implication of the people on the street now) Do you realize how many different kinds of injustices there are? (she shook her head and added more calmly but cynically) We won't be able to (she made quotation marks with her fingers) "expatriate" everyone.
The rest of the group didn't seem to understand his point.
Daniel: Uh huh... This wasn't exactly our idea.
She rolled her eyes and sank into the couch, tired of having to explain.
Alexander rephrased for her: Your science fiction is based on the fact that if the Earth was no longer habitable and there was a safe haven elsewhere, only the privileged could go there.
Sg-1 and O'neill glanced at each other, understanding the connection between the other off-world sites, mostly composed of scientists, military, specialists... Who was selecting their people? Who was choosing who would stay behind and who would be left behind? Who deserved their place and who had not been enough?
Teal'c, remembering TV show scripts: Indeed.
Bell, sharply: And after all that has happened, you want us to retreat? To give up our land, our hard-won rights? (she stared at Daniel) We know your criteria for selecting good and bad migrants.
He nodded cautiously to let her know that he knew this point and agreed with her completely. She gasped with fury, then closed her eyes and lowered her head in an attempt to calm herself. Alexander understood that she was trying to regain her composure so as not to be judged for her anger, however legitimate.
Alexander seemed to think of a way to express his support: She is right. (she opened her eyes without looking up and he addressed the group) That would be running away.
Jack grinned: "Unfortunate illusion that the simple fact of running away from danger deprives you of courage”.
Teal'c, troubled by a memory of Val'ar: “There were no profit to merely fight and die.”.
Sam looked at the group and nodded: "He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day”.
Bell quickly raised a finger to Daniel: Don't dare. (he winced at the memory of their previous conversations about the proverbs or quotes he had mentioned in her presence and she added bitterly) Open a history book. (Daniel raised his eyebrows in incomprehension and she added with hatred) Injustices repeat themselves. Wars repeat themselves. History repeats itself!
Sam looked up sharply at her with echoes mixing in.
Daniel nodded: Well, we'll give you another option.
Teal'c added: Maybe this is about giving you the opportunity to rewrite history.
Bell stared at them and thought about it. There was silence for several seconds.
Jack moistened his lips and tried: Look. It's an idea-
Daniel pointed to Teal'c to repeat his expression: An opportunity.
Jack glanced at him and Daniel made a silent "sorry" before Jack resumed: We haven't really thought about the details. (he moved his hand towards the two of them) Actually we had more in mind that you would take care of it. (he tilted his head) You two but also Anang.
Bell snapped, suddenly horrified: Wait wait wait. (she moved both hands, now flabbergasted by the idea) What?!
Alexander grimaced: Indian Removal Act.
Bell nodded at his understanding and then insisted: I'm not going to offer her that.
Teal'c remembered the briefing and repeated Daniel's words: "Protectors of the Earth".
Sam winced at the memory of her discussion with Anang and the thought of asking her such a thing.
Daniel: We're proposing that they take over land, keeping the land they have here for whoever they want, and create the community they want without-
Bell: You.
Daniel tilted his head and whispered: Yeah.
There was another heavy silence.
Alexander, determined: I'll do it. (Bell turned her head toward him, surprised at her confidence, and he tilted his head toward her) I suppose she'll propose to the elders.
Bell thought for a few seconds and then addressed the group: I suppose some will be okay.
Jack to Teal'c: Do you think you can contact Asgards?
Teal'c nodded: Absolutely, O'Neill.
Sam looked at the group: Jonas hasn't been to see his old teacher in a long time. We could talk to him that way.
Daniel nodded: I'll take care of it.
Bell frowned: Jonas? I thought he was dead?
Teal'c raised his eyebrow, Daniel and Jack looked at her in disbelief. Sam froze as she realized that she had confused him with her ex with the therapy sessions she had had with her.
Sam quickly regained her composure and cleared her throat: Eurhm. Jonas Quinn. (Bell said a muted "Ha." and smiled politely at her to thank her, slightly uncomfortable for her. Sam moved her hand toward Alexander and the young woman) He will help you with the technology development if you wish.
Daniel: And on diplomacy.
Bell nodded toward the two of them but tilted her head: Our priority would be more vital needs.
Alexander: Medicines, materials needed for construction...
Sam: You'll have to watch your growth. I can help you with that.
Bell nodded: I have some names of people who can help us too.
Jack moved a hand: Wait wait wait. It's just an idea. (he insisted and looked at the group) Without transport...
Daniel translated for Alexander and Bell: Asgards are not the type to interfere in internal Earth problems.
There was a silence and then Sam frowned, seeming to think quickly.
Teal'c noticed her: Colonel Carter?
Sam looked at him: Steveston?
At first surprised, he bowed his head. Daniel's face broke into a smile at her plan, having read the reports.
Daniel to Sam: Where is it?
Sam to Daniel: At Area 51.
He turned his head to Teal'c, who returned his smile.
Jack juggled his gaze to SG-1, confused and slightly annoyed: Can you share your idea with the whole class?
Sam: Our transport, sir. (Alexander, Bell and Jack raised their eyebrows) The project has been abandoned, but we have the plans.
Jack frowned: What is missing?
Sam: Raw materials, technology, a place to build, personnel...
Daniel to Sam: Is that where the Asgard would come in?
Sam nodded: And Alec.
Jack frowned at Sam: You have a problem with stealing an artifact from Area 51, but not a ship?
Sam: Sir, I'm talking about scanning plans. Alec can take care of checking the feasibility and especially the safety of the ship.
Jack, slightly offended, continued to frown, sarcastically: And you think Asgards will photocopy them and give us a brand new ship?
Sam tilted her head: It's better than asking them for a ship of their own design... (he gave her a skeptical look and she defended her idea) This ship is more primitive than the X-303. (she insisted) It's only a transport ship.
Daniel to Jack: It doesn't hurt to ask them... (Jack tilted his head and Daniel insisted) The Furlings were members of the alliance of the four great races. If we convince them that... that we want to continue the Furlings project, there is a way they can help us.
Jack took a few seconds to weigh the pros and cons, then concluded: Ok. (to Teal'c) The ball is in your court. (he froze and turned to Alexander and Bell) Well, it's in yours too.
Bell and Alexander exchanged a look.
Sam raised her hand slightly: Sir. With all due respect, (she turned her head towards the two doctors) I insist that this conversation be kept secret.
Jack insisted to them: Be careful who you talk to.
Alexander nodded toward the group, grateful to put himself in danger: Yeah, we understand the stakes.
He then looked at Bell for a few seconds to make their decision.
Bell turned to them: We're in.
Echo:
*Vocabulary around colonization, expatriate, sanctuary, land of asylum, deport, refuge, migrants, ...*
*And some are expected to be there. / some will be okay*
*I'm not giving up the fight here! / To give up our land / The project has been abandoned*
*Do you realize how many different kinds of injustices there are? / Injustices repeat themselves*
*you want us to retreat? / fight and die. / He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day*
*That would be running away. / of running away*
*Open a history book / History repeats itself! / to rewrite history.*
*Maybe this is about giving you the opportunity / An opportunity.*
*This wasn't exactly our idea. / It's an idea- / It's just an idea. / your idea*
*Wait wait wait.(x2)*
*I suppose(2x)*
*He will help you with / I can help you with that. / who can help us too. / there is a way they can help us.*
*Without transport... / Our transport, sir. / It's only a transport ship*
*we have the plans. / scanning plans. / photocopy them*
Notes:
*Article “Why are white people expats when the rest of us are immigrants?” (source)*
*”Bell: Wars repeat themselves. History repeats itself!
Sam looked up sharply at her with echoes mixing in.” refers to:
My chapter 7 Sam says to Jack: The hardest part is that it's becoming the norm. History repeats itself. Constantly. Continuously. On a loop. It's always the same thing.”
And in my chapter 11, Anang tells Sam and Jack: We all make mistakes and history is important so we don't repeat those mistakes. The problem is that we're stuck in these loops”*
*”"Unfortunate illusion that the simple fact of running away from danger deprives you of courage” refers to the 1939 Wizard of Oz. He says “ You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom.”*
*Information on the plans put in place to colonize Space (source) (source)*
*Konparèts are part of the local cuisine of Haiti (source)*
*The fact that it is Sam who says "Sanctuary" is of course not insignificant (source)*
*Information on the deportation (source)*
*Information on the Indian Removal Act (source)*
*Trailer of the film Oyate (source) (source)*
*Cartoon: Colonization on the first native peoples (source)*
*The concept of "black angry woman" is a racist and misogynistic stereotype. Black women have a right to be angry. They are legitimate, like all other people. Anger is a valid feeling and is the engine of all social revolt (source) (source)*
*Video: Mexican authorities plan to arrest eight guards after they didn’t attempt to release migrants in a detention center fire that killed 39 people, leaving them locked inside. (source)*
*”Or "conscription."” recalls my chapter 5:
Jack, after a moment: Yeah.That war was another piece of crap.
She stared at him for a moment, surprised at his answer. That day, though, she had felt that he wanted to tell Michael that it was his duty as an American to respect the call. Although she had to intervene so as not to change the course of history, she remembered his emphatic tone. That and his position on Tibet were strange. The man was full of contradictions.”
As a reminder, "conscription" is a lottery system*
*Saving rich people trapped in a submarine is more important than saving exiles fleeing war (source) (source) (source) (source)*
Daniel tried to temporize: The planet is empty of intelligent forms. It would be more like building a kind of... a...
Teal'c helped him with his word search: Kal Mah.
Sam nodded toward him and translated for both doctors: Sanctuary.
Daniel finally found the expression he was looking for: Land of Asylum.
Jack, lower: And in this case it's a moon.
Daniel raised his eyebrows at him, silently asking how this helped channel the conversation. His friend took a sip of his beer with a knowing look, meaning that at least he was trying to lighten the mood.
Daniel nodded: "Relocate" would be a more appropriate term.
Bell added sarcastically and challenged him with her eyes: Try "deport".
Alexander muttered an argument that they would potentially understand better: Or "conscription."
The unease around the table soared. Bell took a sip and then looked at the beverage with disgust. Nothing worse than tea bags, she thought. Alexander offered his cup of coffee instead. She gave him a blasé look and the man drank a sip to hold back another laugh.
Daniel put his glasses back on properly: Listen-
Bell dropped her cup on the table and exclaimed: I'm not giving up the fight here! (she moved her arm briskly towards the bay window so that they would understand the implication of the people on the street now) Do you realize how many different kinds of injustices there are? (she shook her head and added more calmly but cynically) We won't be able to (she made quotation marks with her fingers) "expatriate" everyone.
The rest of the group didn't seem to understand his point.
Daniel: Uh huh... This wasn't exactly our idea.
She rolled her eyes and sank into the couch, tired of having to explain.
Alexander rephrased for her: Your science fiction is based on the fact that if the Earth was no longer habitable and there was a safe haven elsewhere, only the privileged could go there.
Sg-1 and O'neill glanced at each other, understanding the connection between the other off-world sites, mostly composed of scientists, military, specialists... Who was selecting their people? Who was choosing who would stay behind and who would be left behind? Who deserved their place and who had not been enough?
Teal'c, remembering TV show scripts: Indeed.
Bell, sharply: And after all that has happened, you want us to retreat? To give up our land, our hard-won rights? (she stared at Daniel) We know your criteria for selecting good and bad migrants.
He nodded cautiously to let her know that he knew this point and agreed with her completely. She gasped with fury, then closed her eyes and lowered her head in an attempt to calm herself. Alexander understood that she was trying to regain her composure so as not to be judged for her anger, however legitimate.
Alexander seemed to think of a way to express his support: She is right. (she opened her eyes without looking up and he addressed the group) That would be running away.
Jack grinned: "Unfortunate illusion that the simple fact of running away from danger deprives you of courage”.
Teal'c, troubled by a memory of Val'ar: “There were no profit to merely fight and die.”.
Sam looked at the group and nodded: "He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day”.
Bell quickly raised a finger to Daniel: Don't dare. (he winced at the memory of their previous conversations about the proverbs or quotes he had mentioned in her presence and she added bitterly) Open a history book. (Daniel raised his eyebrows in incomprehension and she added with hatred) Injustices repeat themselves. Wars repeat themselves. History repeats itself!
Sam looked up sharply at her with echoes mixing in.
Daniel nodded: Well, we'll give you another option.
Teal'c added: Maybe this is about giving you the opportunity to rewrite history.
Bell stared at them and thought about it. There was silence for several seconds.
Jack moistened his lips and tried: Look. It's an idea-
Daniel pointed to Teal'c to repeat his expression: An opportunity.
Jack glanced at him and Daniel made a silent "sorry" before Jack resumed: We haven't really thought about the details. (he moved his hand towards the two of them) Actually we had more in mind that you would take care of it. (he tilted his head) You two but also Anang.
Bell snapped, suddenly horrified: Wait wait wait. (she moved both hands, now flabbergasted by the idea) What?!
Alexander grimaced: Indian Removal Act.
Bell nodded at his understanding and then insisted: I'm not going to offer her that.
Teal'c remembered the briefing and repeated Daniel's words: "Protectors of the Earth".
Sam winced at the memory of her discussion with Anang and the thought of asking her such a thing.
Daniel: We're proposing that they take over land, keeping the land they have here for whoever they want, and create the community they want without-
Bell: You.
Daniel tilted his head and whispered: Yeah.
There was another heavy silence.
Alexander, determined: I'll do it. (Bell turned her head toward him, surprised at her confidence, and he tilted his head toward her) I suppose she'll propose to the elders.
Bell thought for a few seconds and then addressed the group: I suppose some will be okay.
Jack to Teal'c: Do you think you can contact Asgards?
Teal'c nodded: Absolutely, O'Neill.
Sam looked at the group: Jonas hasn't been to see his old teacher in a long time. We could talk to him that way.
Daniel nodded: I'll take care of it.
Bell frowned: Jonas? I thought he was dead?
Teal'c raised his eyebrow, Daniel and Jack looked at her in disbelief. Sam froze as she realized that she had confused him with her ex with the therapy sessions she had had with her.
Sam quickly regained her composure and cleared her throat: Eurhm. Jonas Quinn. (Bell said a muted "Ha." and smiled politely at her to thank her, slightly uncomfortable for her. Sam moved her hand toward Alexander and the young woman) He will help you with the technology development if you wish.
Daniel: And on diplomacy.
Bell nodded toward the two of them but tilted her head: Our priority would be more vital needs.
Alexander: Medicines, materials needed for construction...
Sam: You'll have to watch your growth. I can help you with that.
Bell nodded: I have some names of people who can help us too.
Jack moved a hand: Wait wait wait. It's just an idea. (he insisted and looked at the group) Without transport...
Daniel translated for Alexander and Bell: Asgards are not the type to interfere in internal Earth problems.
There was a silence and then Sam frowned, seeming to think quickly.
Teal'c noticed her: Colonel Carter?
Sam looked at him: Steveston?
At first surprised, he bowed his head. Daniel's face broke into a smile at her plan, having read the reports.
Daniel to Sam: Where is it?
Sam to Daniel: At Area 51.
He turned his head to Teal'c, who returned his smile.
Jack juggled his gaze to SG-1, confused and slightly annoyed: Can you share your idea with the whole class?
Sam: Our transport, sir. (Alexander, Bell and Jack raised their eyebrows) The project has been abandoned, but we have the plans.
Jack frowned: What is missing?
Sam: Raw materials, technology, a place to build, personnel...
Daniel to Sam: Is that where the Asgard would come in?
Sam nodded: And Alec.
Jack frowned at Sam: You have a problem with stealing an artifact from Area 51, but not a ship?
Sam: Sir, I'm talking about scanning plans. Alec can take care of checking the feasibility and especially the safety of the ship.
Jack, slightly offended, continued to frown, sarcastically: And you think Asgards will photocopy them and give us a brand new ship?
Sam tilted her head: It's better than asking them for a ship of their own design... (he gave her a skeptical look and she defended her idea) This ship is more primitive than the X-303. (she insisted) It's only a transport ship.
Daniel to Jack: It doesn't hurt to ask them... (Jack tilted his head and Daniel insisted) The Furlings were members of the alliance of the four great races. If we convince them that... that we want to continue the Furlings project, there is a way they can help us.
Jack took a few seconds to weigh the pros and cons, then concluded: Ok. (to Teal'c) The ball is in your court. (he froze and turned to Alexander and Bell) Well, it's in yours too.
Bell and Alexander exchanged a look.
Sam raised her hand slightly: Sir. With all due respect, (she turned her head towards the two doctors) I insist that this conversation be kept secret.
Jack insisted to them: Be careful who you talk to.
Alexander nodded toward the group, grateful to put himself in danger: Yeah, we understand the stakes.
He then looked at Bell for a few seconds to make their decision.
Bell turned to them: We're in.
Echo:
*Vocabulary around colonization, expatriate, sanctuary, land of asylum, deport, refuge, migrants, ...*
*And some are expected to be there. / some will be okay*
*I'm not giving up the fight here! / To give up our land / The project has been abandoned*
*Do you realize how many different kinds of injustices there are? / Injustices repeat themselves*
*you want us to retreat? / fight and die. / He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day*
*That would be running away. / of running away*
*Open a history book / History repeats itself! / to rewrite history.*
*Maybe this is about giving you the opportunity / An opportunity.*
*This wasn't exactly our idea. / It's an idea- / It's just an idea. / your idea*
*Wait wait wait.(x2)*
*I suppose(2x)*
*He will help you with / I can help you with that. / who can help us too. / there is a way they can help us.*
*Without transport... / Our transport, sir. / It's only a transport ship*
*we have the plans. / scanning plans. / photocopy them*
Notes:
*Article “Why are white people expats when the rest of us are immigrants?” (source)*
*”Bell: Wars repeat themselves. History repeats itself!
Sam looked up sharply at her with echoes mixing in.” refers to:
My chapter 7 Sam says to Jack: The hardest part is that it's becoming the norm. History repeats itself. Constantly. Continuously. On a loop. It's always the same thing.”
And in my chapter 11, Anang tells Sam and Jack: We all make mistakes and history is important so we don't repeat those mistakes. The problem is that we're stuck in these loops”*
*”"Unfortunate illusion that the simple fact of running away from danger deprives you of courage” refers to the 1939 Wizard of Oz. He says “ You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom.”*
*Information on the plans put in place to colonize Space (source) (source)*
*Konparèts are part of the local cuisine of Haiti (source)*
*The fact that it is Sam who says "Sanctuary" is of course not insignificant (source)*
*Information on the deportation (source)*
*Information on the Indian Removal Act (source)*
*Trailer of the film Oyate (source) (source)*
*Cartoon: Colonization on the first native peoples (source)*
*The concept of "black angry woman" is a racist and misogynistic stereotype. Black women have a right to be angry. They are legitimate, like all other people. Anger is a valid feeling and is the engine of all social revolt (source) (source)*
*Video: Mexican authorities plan to arrest eight guards after they didn’t attempt to release migrants in a detention center fire that killed 39 people, leaving them locked inside. (source)*
*”Or "conscription."” recalls my chapter 5:
Jack, after a moment: Yeah.That war was another piece of crap.
She stared at him for a moment, surprised at his answer. That day, though, she had felt that he wanted to tell Michael that it was his duty as an American to respect the call. Although she had to intervene so as not to change the course of history, she remembered his emphatic tone. That and his position on Tibet were strange. The man was full of contradictions.”
As a reminder, "conscription" is a lottery system*
*Saving rich people trapped in a submarine is more important than saving exiles fleeing war (source) (source) (source) (source)*
The elevator doors opened on Siler and Dr. Lee. They nodded as Bell entered and pressed button 21. A few seconds of silence passed.
Bill Lee to Siler: Did you know that the elevator doors were invited by a black man named Alexander Miles? (she widened her eyes and laughed uncontrollably. The two men looked at her but she still had her back to them, trying to regain her seriousness. The scientist became uncomfortable) I... Did I said something wrong?
Bell finally regained her composure and turned to them for a few seconds: No no. That's fine. Thank you.
The elevator doors opened and she made her way to Alexander's office.
Bell entered and held out her hand to him: New record. You owe me $20 and dinner.
Alexander dodged a smile and reached into his pockets: Well done.
Bell grabbed the bill and made a small reference: Thank you, thank you. Yours was hard to beat. 45 days?
Alexander nodded, amused: The pencil sharpener of John L. Love. (she smiled at the memory and he tilted his head) I'm confident the next one will be for me.
Bell looked at him, half perplexed and half amused: You forget that I am the one who must therefore impose the invention on you... (he curtsied, she smiled and thought) The egg beater. Willis Johnson.
Alexander looked at her, jaded: Why do I always get the tough ones? (desperate) How am I going to fit this into a conversation?
Bell laughed: I love the look of bewilderment on other people's faces when we start these discussions.
Alexander shook his head: The main purpose was to study the spread of rumors.
Bell: To work while having fun. (she pointed a finger at him) Only acceptable reason to participate in capitalism.
Alexander rolled his eyes, then turned serious: Did you get the memo from General O'Neill?
Bell questioned him with her eyes: What memo?
Alexander looked at her for a few seconds, then calmly: All the members of the BPP who were imprisoned at the time have been released. (she widened her eyes and opened her mouth. He insisted and smiled) Your mother is coming to Peterson at the end of the day.
Bell put her hand over her mouth and tears fell down her cheeks: Mirak.
It took her several seconds to regain her composure. She didn't know why but she had felt it, the first time she had met this man and he had said "NORAD", her instinct had been to go.
Bell, in a breath: B-b-but how?
Alexander tilted his head and grimaced slightly: He persuaded the President to make this symbolic gesture to calm the current demonstrations in the country. (she exhaled sharply at this announcement and looked at him with a knowing look. The latter nodded and smiled ironically) It will be in the newspapers tomorrow.
Echo:
*Thank you. / Thank you, thank you.*
*Did you get the memo / What memo?*
Notes:
*In Haitian Creole, "mirak" means "miracle"*
*Article: Biography of John Lee Love, inventor of the portable pencil sharpener (source)*
*Article: Willis Johnson and the invention of the egg beater (source)*
*Reminder of my chapter 6:
“Bell: Where is your base?
Jack: NORAD. (she recoiled) What?
Bell shook her head but at her insistence had to swallow and answer: You know Ron Stallworth?
Jack: No?
Bell: A former police officer. An African-American. In the 70s he worked in Colorado Springs and infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan.
Jack, a little confused by this conversation: And?
Bell moved her hand: He revealed that several Klan members were active members of the Armed Forces.
Jack nodded, understanding: Including NORAD. (she nodded and he looked away, still nervous)
(...)
She stared at him too. Life had taught her not to expect anything from men, on top of that white men, let alone the army, but her heart was pounding in her chest and she realized that this program was potentially decisive. It couldn't be a coincidence and her instincts never failed her.”*
Bill Lee to Siler: Did you know that the elevator doors were invited by a black man named Alexander Miles? (she widened her eyes and laughed uncontrollably. The two men looked at her but she still had her back to them, trying to regain her seriousness. The scientist became uncomfortable) I... Did I said something wrong?
Bell finally regained her composure and turned to them for a few seconds: No no. That's fine. Thank you.
The elevator doors opened and she made her way to Alexander's office.
Bell entered and held out her hand to him: New record. You owe me $20 and dinner.
Alexander dodged a smile and reached into his pockets: Well done.
Bell grabbed the bill and made a small reference: Thank you, thank you. Yours was hard to beat. 45 days?
Alexander nodded, amused: The pencil sharpener of John L. Love. (she smiled at the memory and he tilted his head) I'm confident the next one will be for me.
Bell looked at him, half perplexed and half amused: You forget that I am the one who must therefore impose the invention on you... (he curtsied, she smiled and thought) The egg beater. Willis Johnson.
Alexander looked at her, jaded: Why do I always get the tough ones? (desperate) How am I going to fit this into a conversation?
Bell laughed: I love the look of bewilderment on other people's faces when we start these discussions.
Alexander shook his head: The main purpose was to study the spread of rumors.
Bell: To work while having fun. (she pointed a finger at him) Only acceptable reason to participate in capitalism.
Alexander rolled his eyes, then turned serious: Did you get the memo from General O'Neill?
Bell questioned him with her eyes: What memo?
Alexander looked at her for a few seconds, then calmly: All the members of the BPP who were imprisoned at the time have been released. (she widened her eyes and opened her mouth. He insisted and smiled) Your mother is coming to Peterson at the end of the day.
Bell put her hand over her mouth and tears fell down her cheeks: Mirak.
It took her several seconds to regain her composure. She didn't know why but she had felt it, the first time she had met this man and he had said "NORAD", her instinct had been to go.
Bell, in a breath: B-b-but how?
Alexander tilted his head and grimaced slightly: He persuaded the President to make this symbolic gesture to calm the current demonstrations in the country. (she exhaled sharply at this announcement and looked at him with a knowing look. The latter nodded and smiled ironically) It will be in the newspapers tomorrow.
Echo:
*Thank you. / Thank you, thank you.*
*Did you get the memo / What memo?*
Notes:
*In Haitian Creole, "mirak" means "miracle"*
*Article: Biography of John Lee Love, inventor of the portable pencil sharpener (source)*
*Article: Willis Johnson and the invention of the egg beater (source)*
*Reminder of my chapter 6:
“Bell: Where is your base?
Jack: NORAD. (she recoiled) What?
Bell shook her head but at her insistence had to swallow and answer: You know Ron Stallworth?
Jack: No?
Bell: A former police officer. An African-American. In the 70s he worked in Colorado Springs and infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan.
Jack, a little confused by this conversation: And?
Bell moved her hand: He revealed that several Klan members were active members of the Armed Forces.
Jack nodded, understanding: Including NORAD. (she nodded and he looked away, still nervous)
(...)
She stared at him too. Life had taught her not to expect anything from men, on top of that white men, let alone the army, but her heart was pounding in her chest and she realized that this program was potentially decisive. It couldn't be a coincidence and her instincts never failed her.”*
CW: *death note*
In bed, she checked her phone for the umpteenth time, hoping for an answer from her brother to her last message sent that very morning: "Hey". She gave up on the idea that he would reconcile with her despite the anniversary of their mother's death, put the device back on the bedside table, turned and came to embrace Cassandra in deep sleep. She closed her eyes and let the naquadah soothe her wound.
Notes:
*From this paragraph on, I invite you to pay attention to the temporality of my paragraphs with the help of chronologies or visual aids in the video montages. The rhythm is back to normal now*
In bed, she checked her phone for the umpteenth time, hoping for an answer from her brother to her last message sent that very morning: "Hey". She gave up on the idea that he would reconcile with her despite the anniversary of their mother's death, put the device back on the bedside table, turned and came to embrace Cassandra in deep sleep. She closed her eyes and let the naquadah soothe her wound.
Notes:
*From this paragraph on, I invite you to pay attention to the temporality of my paragraphs with the help of chronologies or visual aids in the video montages. The rhythm is back to normal now*
CW: *mention of vomiting* *mention of addiction*
Sam picked up, the phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear: Hey.
Jack: Hey, nice to hear your voice.
Sam opened yet another box with a box cutter: Likewise.
Jack: Any interesting news?
Sam took a sip of her herbal tea and thought: Hmm. (She heard Cassie give a little whine and then some laughter followed) Ooooh... Cassie met Hailey. They get along dangerously well.
Jack: Girls' slumber party?
Sam corrected: Box party. (she winced as she noticed the mess in the house) We haven't unpacked everything yet. (she glanced toward the living room where the two young women were watching videos - apparently very funny - on the laptop while waiting for their freshly manicured nails to dry) I'm not sure their aids are very effective.
Jack: Not too warm?
Sam put away a frying pan and looked blasé: The weather? Seriously?
Jack scratched the furniture next to him, in an innocent tone: I was more interested in what you were wearing...
Sam straightened up slightly: We'll never have that kind of talk on the phone, sir.
Jack, falsely disappointed: I tried.
Sam shook her head: After the Daedalus was fully decontaminated, I asked for a detailed diagnostic of the systems before their next departure. Normal-
Jack with sarcasm: Interesting.
Sam dodged a smile: Are the papers for your house signed?
Jack: Um, just a few more details. I'll meet with the realtor tomorrow morning. But my motorcycle is sold and I've moved into my new company apartment.
Sam, curious: So?
Jack looked around: So this is... Modern. Very modern.
Sam: Won't that clash with the rest of your stuff?
Jack: Not so much.
Sam grabbed a box of prenatal vitamins: Hmm?
Jack: I didn't take much. Clothes, photos, some books. The rest is in boxes in a storage facility near Duluth.
Sam, surprised: Oh. (she tilted her head and took a capsule) You must not even see the stars. You must miss your telescope.
She swallowed the pill with her herbal tea. He looked at the orange sky through the window and the windows of the neighboring buildings and got lost in his thoughts for a few seconds.
Jack, lower: Yah.
Sam: And you feel comfortable there?
Jack emerged: I didn't choose it. (silence) You all right?
Sam: Yes, I'm sorry. (She winced) It does something to me.
Jack: It's just objects.
Sam scratched something invisible on the kitchen counter: Hmm.
Jack grinned: It does something to me too. I really hate this city.
Sam smirked: It's a beautiful city. You'll get used to it.
Jack exaggerated his seriousness: Never.
Sam: You could have kept your motorcycle. If not the stars, the lights of the city at night, which are empty, are-
Jack: “Modern”?
Sam stroked her belly without realizing it: Yeah.
Silence.
Jack looked for a topic of discussion to fill the silence: Your colleagues?
Sam: Nice. (She insisted) Interesting.
Jack smiles at the running gag: Stop it, I'm sure you're like a fish in water.
Sam raised her eyebrows and challenged him: Really?
Jack: Surrounded by people who speak the same language as you.
Sam: I want to make it clear that I'm not the one who came back to this field. (he smiles) In fact, I work mainly with Hailey.
Jack: Oh?
Sam: Yeah. It's basically proofreading research and supervising their research. I was expecting more... I don't know. (she got lost in her thoughts and lowered the pitch of her voice without realizing it) Of motivating troops and exchanging collective ideas. Something more creative and stimulating. I haven't touched a single tool since I arrived. (he was silent, unsure of how to respond, and she picked herself up) I thought I'd see Dr. Francine Michaels again. Last I heard she was assigned here.
Jack, unconvincing: Interesting.
Sam spoke more quickly: Sorry. I guess I was thinking out loud. (lowered) I'll call her.
Jack: Any conferences soon?
Cassie walked into the kitchen, blowing little kisses toward her.
Sam jammed the microphone on the phone: I know where Ethan lives. (Cassie gave her a dirty look and Sam took her hand off the microphone) Hmm. Still no.
Jack: That confirms they benched you.
Cassie opened the freezer.
Sam slapped Cassie's hand to let her know that it was no longer time: So I just have to move to Nevada and you can go back to Colorado?
Cassie stuck her tongue out at her and pulled out a tub of Ben&Jerry's Peanut butter cup ice cream.
Jack: I wish I had stayed longer. Daniel and Teal'c say hi.
Sam destroyed the empty box: Mitchell offered to come back.
Cassie took out a big spoon and opened the jar.
Jack: And?
Sam grabbed the spoon Cassie had helped herself to: And I'm fine here. (she made a silent "drop it" but Cassie nodded) Less stressful.
Cassie tried to loosen Sam's grip on her spoon but was unsuccessful. The ice cream was getting dangerously close to her mouth.
Cassie grumbled: You'll ruin my nails!
Jack continued the conversation: Better for the baby.
Sam smiled slightly: You're interested in that. And me worrying about a- (she managed to put the spoon in her mouth, and the contact of the warmth previously left by her drink associated with the ice electrified her) Hiii cold!
Cassie picked up the spoon and ran off with the pot.
Jack, confused: Hmm?
Sam continued: -of emotional dependence on your part because I didn't call you before. It's all about him now, isn't it? (she exaggerated her desperation) Cassie is stealing my ice cream!
Jack dodged a smile: Rehab?
Sam smiles: Ice or you?
Jack: Both.
Sam giggled: Yeah.
Cassie put a small spoon in two bowls and asked if she would serve her one. She nodded an appreciative "no" and watched her return to her task for a few seconds. "She's gotten so big," she thought. A lump in her stomach rose up at the wish to go back in time to persuade herself to stop drowning in work to escape from her own life. "I should have delegated more," she reproached herself. After all, Dr. Lee had offered her assistance regularly over the years at the SGC, but she had always replied that she would handle it. On her own. It wasn't even a matter of ego or personal pride, just an immeasurable need to be alone. A means of defense. It had only wasted years of unrecoverable time with her loved ones. She quickly shook off the thought before being overwhelmed by the memory of Janet's death and decided to celebrate her decision to be here and now, with her goddaughter. At least they were together every weekend from then on.
Jack: Nausea or something?
Cassie closed the jar and put it back in the freezer.
Sam touched her belly, this time consciously: Mostly in the morning. I've never thrown up so much in my life. (he smiles) But it's okay, the belly doesn't show yet.
Cassie yelled into the phone: She's ruining so much food, it's disgusting! (Sam put her hand on Cassie's face to get her to leave) We start the movie in five minutes.
Sam: Okay.
Jack: She seems fine.
Sam joked: She's unbearable you mean. (Cassie laughed and walked away with the two bowls of ice cream, Sam grunted at a sudden urge to vomit) Errrh. I don't understand how anyone can like being in this state.
Jack: Pregnant or Nevada?
Sam giggles: Pregnant.
Jack dodged a smile: Depends on the person I guess.
Sam: Hmm. I'll trade when you want.
Jack: Pregnant or Nevada?
Sam smiled and whispered: I wish you were with us.
Jack touched the wall with his finger: Likewise.
Sam bit her lower lip and wriggled: Bye.
Jack smiled: Bye.
Echo:
*Hey. - Hey.*
*Any interesting news? / I was more interested / Interesting. / Interesting.(x2) / You're interested in that*
*Girls' slumber party? - Box party. / The rest is in boxes*
*Not too warm? / Hiii cold!*
*But my motorcycle is sold / VYou could have kept your motorcycle.*
*So? So…*
*Modern. Very modern. / “Modern”?*
*You must not even see the stars. / If not the stars*
*It does something to me. / It does something to me too / or something?*
*I really hate this city. - It's a beautiful city. / the lights of the city*
*of emotional dependence / Rehab?*
*Cassie is stealing my ice cream! / Ice or you?*
*Pregnant or Nevada?(x2)*
*Likewise.(x2)*
Notes:
*Article: How to have fun and safe phone sex (source)*
*Ben&Jerry is a committed brand (source)*
*Article: Ben & Jerry's supported the "land back" movement (source)*
Sam picked up, the phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear: Hey.
Jack: Hey, nice to hear your voice.
Sam opened yet another box with a box cutter: Likewise.
Jack: Any interesting news?
Sam took a sip of her herbal tea and thought: Hmm. (She heard Cassie give a little whine and then some laughter followed) Ooooh... Cassie met Hailey. They get along dangerously well.
Jack: Girls' slumber party?
Sam corrected: Box party. (she winced as she noticed the mess in the house) We haven't unpacked everything yet. (she glanced toward the living room where the two young women were watching videos - apparently very funny - on the laptop while waiting for their freshly manicured nails to dry) I'm not sure their aids are very effective.
Jack: Not too warm?
Sam put away a frying pan and looked blasé: The weather? Seriously?
Jack scratched the furniture next to him, in an innocent tone: I was more interested in what you were wearing...
Sam straightened up slightly: We'll never have that kind of talk on the phone, sir.
Jack, falsely disappointed: I tried.
Sam shook her head: After the Daedalus was fully decontaminated, I asked for a detailed diagnostic of the systems before their next departure. Normal-
Jack with sarcasm: Interesting.
Sam dodged a smile: Are the papers for your house signed?
Jack: Um, just a few more details. I'll meet with the realtor tomorrow morning. But my motorcycle is sold and I've moved into my new company apartment.
Sam, curious: So?
Jack looked around: So this is... Modern. Very modern.
Sam: Won't that clash with the rest of your stuff?
Jack: Not so much.
Sam grabbed a box of prenatal vitamins: Hmm?
Jack: I didn't take much. Clothes, photos, some books. The rest is in boxes in a storage facility near Duluth.
Sam, surprised: Oh. (she tilted her head and took a capsule) You must not even see the stars. You must miss your telescope.
She swallowed the pill with her herbal tea. He looked at the orange sky through the window and the windows of the neighboring buildings and got lost in his thoughts for a few seconds.
Jack, lower: Yah.
Sam: And you feel comfortable there?
Jack emerged: I didn't choose it. (silence) You all right?
Sam: Yes, I'm sorry. (She winced) It does something to me.
Jack: It's just objects.
Sam scratched something invisible on the kitchen counter: Hmm.
Jack grinned: It does something to me too. I really hate this city.
Sam smirked: It's a beautiful city. You'll get used to it.
Jack exaggerated his seriousness: Never.
Sam: You could have kept your motorcycle. If not the stars, the lights of the city at night, which are empty, are-
Jack: “Modern”?
Sam stroked her belly without realizing it: Yeah.
Silence.
Jack looked for a topic of discussion to fill the silence: Your colleagues?
Sam: Nice. (She insisted) Interesting.
Jack smiles at the running gag: Stop it, I'm sure you're like a fish in water.
Sam raised her eyebrows and challenged him: Really?
Jack: Surrounded by people who speak the same language as you.
Sam: I want to make it clear that I'm not the one who came back to this field. (he smiles) In fact, I work mainly with Hailey.
Jack: Oh?
Sam: Yeah. It's basically proofreading research and supervising their research. I was expecting more... I don't know. (she got lost in her thoughts and lowered the pitch of her voice without realizing it) Of motivating troops and exchanging collective ideas. Something more creative and stimulating. I haven't touched a single tool since I arrived. (he was silent, unsure of how to respond, and she picked herself up) I thought I'd see Dr. Francine Michaels again. Last I heard she was assigned here.
Jack, unconvincing: Interesting.
Sam spoke more quickly: Sorry. I guess I was thinking out loud. (lowered) I'll call her.
Jack: Any conferences soon?
Cassie walked into the kitchen, blowing little kisses toward her.
Sam jammed the microphone on the phone: I know where Ethan lives. (Cassie gave her a dirty look and Sam took her hand off the microphone) Hmm. Still no.
Jack: That confirms they benched you.
Cassie opened the freezer.
Sam slapped Cassie's hand to let her know that it was no longer time: So I just have to move to Nevada and you can go back to Colorado?
Cassie stuck her tongue out at her and pulled out a tub of Ben&Jerry's Peanut butter cup ice cream.
Jack: I wish I had stayed longer. Daniel and Teal'c say hi.
Sam destroyed the empty box: Mitchell offered to come back.
Cassie took out a big spoon and opened the jar.
Jack: And?
Sam grabbed the spoon Cassie had helped herself to: And I'm fine here. (she made a silent "drop it" but Cassie nodded) Less stressful.
Cassie tried to loosen Sam's grip on her spoon but was unsuccessful. The ice cream was getting dangerously close to her mouth.
Cassie grumbled: You'll ruin my nails!
Jack continued the conversation: Better for the baby.
Sam smiled slightly: You're interested in that. And me worrying about a- (she managed to put the spoon in her mouth, and the contact of the warmth previously left by her drink associated with the ice electrified her) Hiii cold!
Cassie picked up the spoon and ran off with the pot.
Jack, confused: Hmm?
Sam continued: -of emotional dependence on your part because I didn't call you before. It's all about him now, isn't it? (she exaggerated her desperation) Cassie is stealing my ice cream!
Jack dodged a smile: Rehab?
Sam smiles: Ice or you?
Jack: Both.
Sam giggled: Yeah.
Cassie put a small spoon in two bowls and asked if she would serve her one. She nodded an appreciative "no" and watched her return to her task for a few seconds. "She's gotten so big," she thought. A lump in her stomach rose up at the wish to go back in time to persuade herself to stop drowning in work to escape from her own life. "I should have delegated more," she reproached herself. After all, Dr. Lee had offered her assistance regularly over the years at the SGC, but she had always replied that she would handle it. On her own. It wasn't even a matter of ego or personal pride, just an immeasurable need to be alone. A means of defense. It had only wasted years of unrecoverable time with her loved ones. She quickly shook off the thought before being overwhelmed by the memory of Janet's death and decided to celebrate her decision to be here and now, with her goddaughter. At least they were together every weekend from then on.
Jack: Nausea or something?
Cassie closed the jar and put it back in the freezer.
Sam touched her belly, this time consciously: Mostly in the morning. I've never thrown up so much in my life. (he smiles) But it's okay, the belly doesn't show yet.
Cassie yelled into the phone: She's ruining so much food, it's disgusting! (Sam put her hand on Cassie's face to get her to leave) We start the movie in five minutes.
Sam: Okay.
Jack: She seems fine.
Sam joked: She's unbearable you mean. (Cassie laughed and walked away with the two bowls of ice cream, Sam grunted at a sudden urge to vomit) Errrh. I don't understand how anyone can like being in this state.
Jack: Pregnant or Nevada?
Sam giggles: Pregnant.
Jack dodged a smile: Depends on the person I guess.
Sam: Hmm. I'll trade when you want.
Jack: Pregnant or Nevada?
Sam smiled and whispered: I wish you were with us.
Jack touched the wall with his finger: Likewise.
Sam bit her lower lip and wriggled: Bye.
Jack smiled: Bye.
Echo:
*Hey. - Hey.*
*Any interesting news? / I was more interested / Interesting. / Interesting.(x2) / You're interested in that*
*Girls' slumber party? - Box party. / The rest is in boxes*
*Not too warm? / Hiii cold!*
*But my motorcycle is sold / VYou could have kept your motorcycle.*
*So? So…*
*Modern. Very modern. / “Modern”?*
*You must not even see the stars. / If not the stars*
*It does something to me. / It does something to me too / or something?*
*I really hate this city. - It's a beautiful city. / the lights of the city*
*of emotional dependence / Rehab?*
*Cassie is stealing my ice cream! / Ice or you?*
*Pregnant or Nevada?(x2)*
*Likewise.(x2)*
Notes:
*Article: How to have fun and safe phone sex (source)*
*Ben&Jerry is a committed brand (source)*
*Article: Ben & Jerry's supported the "land back" movement (source)*
Sitting behind her desk, she was examining a particular stack of files that she had had her new assistant request. Since she had arrived at this new position and discovered the projects to follow, she had become aware of redundant problems. After the analysis of the papers confirmed her suspicions, she got up to look through the glass of the laboratory to think, where her colleagues were working on various stations one floor below. The place was impressive: a huge hangar stretched for several kilometers with different research sessions. And this was only the scientific pole. Other hangars had been built since the beginning of the Stargate program.
She began to count the employees in her head and raised her eyebrows at the result, which confirmed her suspicions: As at the SGC, there were very few women, and even fewer non-white people. She saw a woman giving instructions to subordinates and searched a file: Tracy Redden, director of the Xenology Unit for several years. There was no trace of Dr. Francine Michaels in the register. She turned her attention back to the giant lab spread out before her eyes. The excitement was high, the scientists seemed to take their missions to heart, no doubt considering - like her - the opportunity to work on alien technologies as the most spectacular chance of their lives. In another office, she frowned at a poster posted on one of the walls, "If you can read that, you're not working". Disturbed, she pulled herself together and settled back behind her desk.
Notes:
*I took the first name of the actress for the character of Redden (source)*
*This poster exists in the episode 819 "Moebius" at the Aerospace Research Headquarters in Washington DC, in the office of the boss of Alternative Sam (source)*
*Some statistics on women in science (source) (source) (source)*
*Jess Wade, a British physicist, fights against systemic biases such as gender and racial bias on Wikipedia. "She has been a major contributor to a Wikipedia campaign that encourages the creation of Wikipedia articles on notable female scholars to promote female role models in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. Wade has created new biographical articles on Wikipedia to raise the profile of minorities in STEM. She told Chemistry World in mid-2019 that of the 600 articles on women scientists she has written, 6 have been deleted because of the notoriety issue. Yet, Wade said, the site contains articles about the most obscure sports players and forgotten pop songs. As of February 2020, she had written more than 900 biographies on Wikipedia. By January 2021, that number had grown to 1,200; by October 2022, there were over 1,750. (source) (source)*
*Please note, in my video montage, you can see parts of the episode 2x02 of Atlantis but the temporality of my story is 2x01. It is a flashback in the canon series, Weir is on Earth, and the Daedalus being about 3 weeks to make the trip Milky Way - Pegasus, this time they took 18 days with the ZPM, the temporality of my fanfic allows me to take these video excerpts*
She began to count the employees in her head and raised her eyebrows at the result, which confirmed her suspicions: As at the SGC, there were very few women, and even fewer non-white people. She saw a woman giving instructions to subordinates and searched a file: Tracy Redden, director of the Xenology Unit for several years. There was no trace of Dr. Francine Michaels in the register. She turned her attention back to the giant lab spread out before her eyes. The excitement was high, the scientists seemed to take their missions to heart, no doubt considering - like her - the opportunity to work on alien technologies as the most spectacular chance of their lives. In another office, she frowned at a poster posted on one of the walls, "If you can read that, you're not working". Disturbed, she pulled herself together and settled back behind her desk.
Notes:
*I took the first name of the actress for the character of Redden (source)*
*This poster exists in the episode 819 "Moebius" at the Aerospace Research Headquarters in Washington DC, in the office of the boss of Alternative Sam (source)*
*Some statistics on women in science (source) (source) (source)*
*Jess Wade, a British physicist, fights against systemic biases such as gender and racial bias on Wikipedia. "She has been a major contributor to a Wikipedia campaign that encourages the creation of Wikipedia articles on notable female scholars to promote female role models in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. Wade has created new biographical articles on Wikipedia to raise the profile of minorities in STEM. She told Chemistry World in mid-2019 that of the 600 articles on women scientists she has written, 6 have been deleted because of the notoriety issue. Yet, Wade said, the site contains articles about the most obscure sports players and forgotten pop songs. As of February 2020, she had written more than 900 biographies on Wikipedia. By January 2021, that number had grown to 1,200; by October 2022, there were over 1,750. (source) (source)*
*Please note, in my video montage, you can see parts of the episode 2x02 of Atlantis but the temporality of my story is 2x01. It is a flashback in the canon series, Weir is on Earth, and the Daedalus being about 3 weeks to make the trip Milky Way - Pegasus, this time they took 18 days with the ZPM, the temporality of my fanfic allows me to take these video excerpts*
TW: *miscarriage* *alcohol mention* *grief* *denial*
Jack picked up one of the prepaid phones: Hey.
Sam, monotone: Hey.
Jack frowned: You all right?
Sam: Hum.
Jack: What's goin’ on?
Sam: I... I had a miscarriage.
Jack froze: Damn. You... You all right?
Sam, still not knowing how to respond to that: Hmm.
Jack, concerned: You're in the hospital?
Sam: No no. At home. Brightman took care of me. She says it's probably related to the stress of my changing situations… (she continued lower) She said I shouldn't worry.
Jack: I can come if you-
Sam: No no. Don't worry. I just needed to... talk a little. Um... My senior project is done.
Jack grimaced: The Pentagon has been pushing you on this.
Sam realized that he was aware of the case: As long as it's defensive, I'm fine with it. (she tilted her head) And I particularly thought of my brother for the name.
Jack, amused: Oh. I got it. "Gate buster" Well done.
Sam, delighted: Heeeey you remembered.
Jack tilted his head: Well... Remembering that your brother could potentially want to kick my ass, I think that's more of a survival instinct.
Sam shook her head and resumed her seriousness: Why are there only armament and space fleet projects left?
Jack: Hmm?
Sam: Well, I saw the list of current projects. It's basically all offensive requests. (she moved her hand) I was able to reach Dr. Michaels. Her contract was not renewed because of "lack of funding"? It's the same everywhere, she said. (She frowned.) Where are the medical research projects?
Jack: Lack of funding. Yah.
Sam, falsely blasé: Oh stop.
Jack grinned: It's not my choice.
Sam, unconvinced: You still have a say, don't you? (she insisted harshly) You're practically at the top of the pyramid... (she widened her eyes when she realized that she was talking about a professional matter with her superior and awkwardly recovered) Sir.
Jack: Um. A few departments were selected to go to the Gamma site under construction. All the ancillary research departments were sent to Atlantis based on their results. (raising his eyebrows) The funding with it.
Sam, sarcastic: Peace is not profitable, selling weapons is.
Jack: The SG project is a money pit.
Sam, skeptical: Did they really try to make it profitable?
Jack, in a jaded tone, tired of this conversation: I don't know.
Sam: Hey. I'm sure if you ask the questions, it'll carry more weight.
Jack: Listen, I don't know. Let me do some digging, okay?
Sam, unconvinced: Okay.
Jack huffed: Carter, don't think about all that. (He insisted) Think about yourself.
Sam: Huh?
Jack, with trepidation: About being stressed out by all the changes?
Sam tried to contain the pain in her voice: I know. (she looked at her watch) Sorry. I have to go, I'm leaving tomorrow on the Prometheus again and the Daedalus will leave in a few days.
Jack, quietly: Okay. (He hesitated and winced with apprehension) Call me if you need me.
Sam, also quietly: Okay. Bye.
Jack: Bye.
He hung up and closed his eyes. How could she discuss these things after what she had just experienced? A flash of Charlie went through him and he quickly opened his eyes to try to chase away the parallel. He got up from the couch and went to crack open a beer again.
Echo:
*You all right?(x2)*
*She said I shouldn't worry. / Don't worry.*
*I just needed to.... / Call me if you need me.*
*you remembered. - Well... Remembering that*
*"lack of funding"? / Lack of funding. / The funding with it.*
*Peace is not profitable / Did they really try to make it profitable?*
* I don't know.(x2)*
*don't think about all that. (He insisted) Think about yourself.*
* to the stress of my changing situations / About being stressed out by all the changes?*
Notes:
*Illustration (source)*
*Information on the designation of "Mark (source)*
*"Gate buster” refers to my chapter 3:
(Text message) Mark: Sam, I'm warning you, I'm going to break this door down.”
So is my chapter 5:
Sam panicked: Who paid for the break door he kicked in the hotel?
(...)
Sam: One time, I was what, 15? He broke down my bedroom door because I invited my boyfriend in.”*
Bonus:
*click here*
Jack picked up one of the prepaid phones: Hey.
Sam, monotone: Hey.
Jack frowned: You all right?
Sam: Hum.
Jack: What's goin’ on?
Sam: I... I had a miscarriage.
Jack froze: Damn. You... You all right?
Sam, still not knowing how to respond to that: Hmm.
Jack, concerned: You're in the hospital?
Sam: No no. At home. Brightman took care of me. She says it's probably related to the stress of my changing situations… (she continued lower) She said I shouldn't worry.
Jack: I can come if you-
Sam: No no. Don't worry. I just needed to... talk a little. Um... My senior project is done.
Jack grimaced: The Pentagon has been pushing you on this.
Sam realized that he was aware of the case: As long as it's defensive, I'm fine with it. (she tilted her head) And I particularly thought of my brother for the name.
Jack, amused: Oh. I got it. "Gate buster" Well done.
Sam, delighted: Heeeey you remembered.
Jack tilted his head: Well... Remembering that your brother could potentially want to kick my ass, I think that's more of a survival instinct.
Sam shook her head and resumed her seriousness: Why are there only armament and space fleet projects left?
Jack: Hmm?
Sam: Well, I saw the list of current projects. It's basically all offensive requests. (she moved her hand) I was able to reach Dr. Michaels. Her contract was not renewed because of "lack of funding"? It's the same everywhere, she said. (She frowned.) Where are the medical research projects?
Jack: Lack of funding. Yah.
Sam, falsely blasé: Oh stop.
Jack grinned: It's not my choice.
Sam, unconvinced: You still have a say, don't you? (she insisted harshly) You're practically at the top of the pyramid... (she widened her eyes when she realized that she was talking about a professional matter with her superior and awkwardly recovered) Sir.
Jack: Um. A few departments were selected to go to the Gamma site under construction. All the ancillary research departments were sent to Atlantis based on their results. (raising his eyebrows) The funding with it.
Sam, sarcastic: Peace is not profitable, selling weapons is.
Jack: The SG project is a money pit.
Sam, skeptical: Did they really try to make it profitable?
Jack, in a jaded tone, tired of this conversation: I don't know.
Sam: Hey. I'm sure if you ask the questions, it'll carry more weight.
Jack: Listen, I don't know. Let me do some digging, okay?
Sam, unconvinced: Okay.
Jack huffed: Carter, don't think about all that. (He insisted) Think about yourself.
Sam: Huh?
Jack, with trepidation: About being stressed out by all the changes?
Sam tried to contain the pain in her voice: I know. (she looked at her watch) Sorry. I have to go, I'm leaving tomorrow on the Prometheus again and the Daedalus will leave in a few days.
Jack, quietly: Okay. (He hesitated and winced with apprehension) Call me if you need me.
Sam, also quietly: Okay. Bye.
Jack: Bye.
He hung up and closed his eyes. How could she discuss these things after what she had just experienced? A flash of Charlie went through him and he quickly opened his eyes to try to chase away the parallel. He got up from the couch and went to crack open a beer again.
Echo:
*You all right?(x2)*
*She said I shouldn't worry. / Don't worry.*
*I just needed to.... / Call me if you need me.*
*you remembered. - Well... Remembering that*
*"lack of funding"? / Lack of funding. / The funding with it.*
*Peace is not profitable / Did they really try to make it profitable?*
* I don't know.(x2)*
*don't think about all that. (He insisted) Think about yourself.*
* to the stress of my changing situations / About being stressed out by all the changes?*
Notes:
*Illustration (source)*
*Information on the designation of "Mark (source)*
*"Gate buster” refers to my chapter 3:
(Text message) Mark: Sam, I'm warning you, I'm going to break this door down.”
So is my chapter 5:
Sam panicked: Who paid for the break door he kicked in the hotel?
(...)
Sam: One time, I was what, 15? He broke down my bedroom door because I invited my boyfriend in.”*
Bonus:
*click here*
Sam entered the bridge and greeted Pendergast: You sent for me, Colonel?
Pendergast: Your requested expert has arrived.
He took a step aside and revealed Alec Colson behind him.
Sam with a huge smile: Alec.
Alec returned the smile: Samantha.
Pendergast: Your requested expert has arrived.
He took a step aside and revealed Alec Colson behind him.
Sam with a huge smile: Alec.
Alec returned the smile: Samantha.