TIME: Several, Grace (713), Thread/Moebius (818 to 820), during and after SGU
READING TIME: 15 minutes
GENRE: Drama, Sam/Jack Romance, SF
RELEASE DATE: 07/28/2022
CW: *death* *ageism* *suicide* *alcohol/alcoholism*
NOTES: Fanfic written for #SamJackShipDay. Please bear with me, I wrote it in a few hours and am testing stuff :)
READING TIME: 15 minutes
GENRE: Drama, Sam/Jack Romance, SF
RELEASE DATE: 07/28/2022
CW: *death* *ageism* *suicide* *alcohol/alcoholism*
NOTES: Fanfic written for #SamJackShipDay. Please bear with me, I wrote it in a few hours and am testing stuff :)
Timeline: *After SGU*
With her bag over her shoulder, she knocked on the door without success. She looked out the window but saw no one. He had to be here though, his car was in the driveway and just before she was teleported, she had detected a sign of life. She walked around the cabin and headed for the dock. The dwelling seemed to be in better shape than the last time she had set foot in it with SG-1 and Landry, even though moss had grown on the roof. It's already been almost nine years, she wondered.
Her rangers crunched through the green lawn and slowed as they spotted her figure.
Sam: Hi.
He froze, stunned to see her here. They stared at each other for several seconds in silence. Her brown hair with a few gray streaks had grown since he had last seen her through his screen at the Pentagon several months ago. He deduced from her commander's suit that she had not taken the time to change and had transferred directly. Just took the precaution of removing her patches, just in case. And damn, was she still glowing. He had given up the idea of shaving and she didn't dare to ask herself how long it had been since he had done any laundry, given the pitiful state of his T-shirt under his lumberjack shirt. Had he even washed it? Did she have to worry about that?
Jack, awkwardly: Hi.
She put her bag down, the weight becoming uncomfortable for her weakening back. He stared at her, unmoving, and anguish began to rise in her.
Sam: Am I disturbing you?
Jack still not moving: No.
Sam, uncomfortable, looked for a way to break the ice: Do you have a beer?
With her bag over her shoulder, she knocked on the door without success. She looked out the window but saw no one. He had to be here though, his car was in the driveway and just before she was teleported, she had detected a sign of life. She walked around the cabin and headed for the dock. The dwelling seemed to be in better shape than the last time she had set foot in it with SG-1 and Landry, even though moss had grown on the roof. It's already been almost nine years, she wondered.
Her rangers crunched through the green lawn and slowed as they spotted her figure.
Sam: Hi.
He froze, stunned to see her here. They stared at each other for several seconds in silence. Her brown hair with a few gray streaks had grown since he had last seen her through his screen at the Pentagon several months ago. He deduced from her commander's suit that she had not taken the time to change and had transferred directly. Just took the precaution of removing her patches, just in case. And damn, was she still glowing. He had given up the idea of shaving and she didn't dare to ask herself how long it had been since he had done any laundry, given the pitiful state of his T-shirt under his lumberjack shirt. Had he even washed it? Did she have to worry about that?
Jack, awkwardly: Hi.
She put her bag down, the weight becoming uncomfortable for her weakening back. He stared at her, unmoving, and anguish began to rise in her.
Sam: Am I disturbing you?
Jack still not moving: No.
Sam, uncomfortable, looked for a way to break the ice: Do you have a beer?
Timeline: *After SG-1 7x13 Grace*
After a toast from Ronson to congratulate her one last time for getting her crew back to safety, she dodged the crowd. The party was fun and the weather was nice, but her heart was not in the festivities. She took refuge in the bathroom and sprayed her face with cold water. She leaned on the sink and closed her eyes to a headache. She winced and looked at herself in the mirror. Her concussion injury had all but disappeared, but Janet had warned her that the headaches would probably linger for a few more weeks since she hadn't been treated immediately. She was startled when there was a knock at the door.
Jack: Carter?
Sam pulled herself together and quickly wiped her face: Yeah. Wait a minute. (She walked out, leaving the door open) You can go. Sorry.
Jack stared at her: Ugh no I... (he frowned at her pallor) Ya sure you all right?
Sam shook her head: Yeah yeah. I-
She closed her eyes at a dizzy spell and he quickly placed his hands on her forearms.
Jack shifted her to sit quickly on the small bench next to the door: Come here. (She sat down) Don't move, I'll get Fraiser.
Sam moved her hand: No-no, it's okay, sir. (she smiled to reassure him) Sorry. It's the alcohol, the sun, the people...
Jack tilted his head, unconvinced: Your blow to the head...
Sam smiled wryly: Also. (she looked at him for emphasis) I just need to rest for a few minutes.
He nodded and leaned on the dresser in front of her. Usually she would have dodged a smile from his protective side, but the conversation she'd had in her head about him had thrown him off. He saw her confusion and became more concerned.
Jack: Well...this vacation is coming along pretty well.
Sam smiled weakly at his joke and blew out a breath, looking away: Yeah. (He frowned slightly, puzzled by her reaction) I was planning to visit my family in San Diego.
Jack nodded even though she wasn't looking at him: Good.
There was another silence. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up inside her. He only saw her rib cage rise and fall a little faster and her body tense up. He winced and slowly sat up.
Jack: Need anything?
After a toast from Ronson to congratulate her one last time for getting her crew back to safety, she dodged the crowd. The party was fun and the weather was nice, but her heart was not in the festivities. She took refuge in the bathroom and sprayed her face with cold water. She leaned on the sink and closed her eyes to a headache. She winced and looked at herself in the mirror. Her concussion injury had all but disappeared, but Janet had warned her that the headaches would probably linger for a few more weeks since she hadn't been treated immediately. She was startled when there was a knock at the door.
Jack: Carter?
Sam pulled herself together and quickly wiped her face: Yeah. Wait a minute. (She walked out, leaving the door open) You can go. Sorry.
Jack stared at her: Ugh no I... (he frowned at her pallor) Ya sure you all right?
Sam shook her head: Yeah yeah. I-
She closed her eyes at a dizzy spell and he quickly placed his hands on her forearms.
Jack shifted her to sit quickly on the small bench next to the door: Come here. (She sat down) Don't move, I'll get Fraiser.
Sam moved her hand: No-no, it's okay, sir. (she smiled to reassure him) Sorry. It's the alcohol, the sun, the people...
Jack tilted his head, unconvinced: Your blow to the head...
Sam smiled wryly: Also. (she looked at him for emphasis) I just need to rest for a few minutes.
He nodded and leaned on the dresser in front of her. Usually she would have dodged a smile from his protective side, but the conversation she'd had in her head about him had thrown him off. He saw her confusion and became more concerned.
Jack: Well...this vacation is coming along pretty well.
Sam smiled weakly at his joke and blew out a breath, looking away: Yeah. (He frowned slightly, puzzled by her reaction) I was planning to visit my family in San Diego.
Jack nodded even though she wasn't looking at him: Good.
There was another silence. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up inside her. He only saw her rib cage rise and fall a little faster and her body tense up. He winced and slowly sat up.
Jack: Need anything?
Timeline: *After SGU*
Sam, uncomfortable, looked for a way to break the ice: Do you have a beer?
Jack emerged: Eurrrh. I had to stop. (she froze and he looked away uncomfortably) I'm on heavy medication for my knees...
Sam felt guilty and winced at the failure of her attempt: Sorry.
Sam, uncomfortable, looked for a way to break the ice: Do you have a beer?
Jack emerged: Eurrrh. I had to stop. (she froze and he looked away uncomfortably) I'm on heavy medication for my knees...
Sam felt guilty and winced at the failure of her attempt: Sorry.
Timeline: *After SG-1 7x13 Grace*
Jack: Need anything?
She stopped herself from answering him "you".
Sam shook her head without looking at him: I'm fine.
Jack huffed: Okay.
He left. A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
Jack: Need anything?
She stopped herself from answering him "you".
Sam shook her head without looking at him: I'm fine.
Jack huffed: Okay.
He left. A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
Timeline: *After SGU*
Sam felt guilty and winced at the failure of her attempt: Sorry.
Jack pulled himself together: No don't... Sorry. I wasn't expecting you.
Sam frowned: I thought you said you'd wait?
Sam felt guilty and winced at the failure of her attempt: Sorry.
Jack pulled himself together: No don't... Sorry. I wasn't expecting you.
Sam frowned: I thought you said you'd wait?
Timeline: *After SG-1 8x19 Threads*
Nothing less suspicious than a public place to have this discussion. That was what they had said to each other a few hours ago, without having to say it out loud in a corridor of the base.
Sam tried: I could resign. (she moved her hand) Become a civilian.
Jack winced at the memory of Kerry offering to do the same: Carter. I don't want you to give up your career.
Sam glanced around the room and lowered her voice further: But…?
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness: But I'll be legally obliged to retire in a few years.
Sam held back from rolling her eyes and tilted her head: We're talking about a dozen.
Jack hesitated and looked away: I'm not asking you to wait, and frankly I'd rather you enjoy your life. (She straightened up in her seat, took a long drag to relax) The President denied my request for early retirement.
Sam froze, stunned: What?
Jack nervously played with the droplets on his beer: Actually, he transferred me to the Pentagon. I'm leaving when we get back from vacation.
Sam repeated in a whisper: What?
She lowered her head to think. She knew that he could not refuse a transfer from the President: When the President transferred us somewhere, we obeyed. Without negotiation of any kind.
Sam: I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
Jack froze: What?
Sam: I... I took so long and I... I'm sorry.
He swallowed and they looked at each other for a few seconds.
Jack: I'll wait for you. (she questioned him with her eyes) Do what you want. No matter how much things change for you, I'm okay with it.
She opened her mouth a few millimeters and they looked at each other for several seconds. She lowered her head again when he raised his beer to take a sip.
Sam: We're not allowed to have this discussion, sir.
Jack raised his eyebrows and looked at his beer in his hands: Ya.
Sam looked up at him: What I mean is, we could try. (he questioned her with his eyes and she insisted, glancing at the crowd in the bar) With care.
Jack shook his head: About a dozen?
Sam gritted her teeth and looked away: Yeah. This is stupid.
Silence.
Jack repeated to himself: I'll wait for you.
There was another silence where they looked at each other.
Sam finally nodded and relented: I'm okay with that.
He stared at her and held his beer out to her. She hesitated, then toasted with him.
Nothing less suspicious than a public place to have this discussion. That was what they had said to each other a few hours ago, without having to say it out loud in a corridor of the base.
Sam tried: I could resign. (she moved her hand) Become a civilian.
Jack winced at the memory of Kerry offering to do the same: Carter. I don't want you to give up your career.
Sam glanced around the room and lowered her voice further: But…?
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness: But I'll be legally obliged to retire in a few years.
Sam held back from rolling her eyes and tilted her head: We're talking about a dozen.
Jack hesitated and looked away: I'm not asking you to wait, and frankly I'd rather you enjoy your life. (She straightened up in her seat, took a long drag to relax) The President denied my request for early retirement.
Sam froze, stunned: What?
Jack nervously played with the droplets on his beer: Actually, he transferred me to the Pentagon. I'm leaving when we get back from vacation.
Sam repeated in a whisper: What?
She lowered her head to think. She knew that he could not refuse a transfer from the President: When the President transferred us somewhere, we obeyed. Without negotiation of any kind.
Sam: I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
Jack froze: What?
Sam: I... I took so long and I... I'm sorry.
He swallowed and they looked at each other for a few seconds.
Jack: I'll wait for you. (she questioned him with her eyes) Do what you want. No matter how much things change for you, I'm okay with it.
She opened her mouth a few millimeters and they looked at each other for several seconds. She lowered her head again when he raised his beer to take a sip.
Sam: We're not allowed to have this discussion, sir.
Jack raised his eyebrows and looked at his beer in his hands: Ya.
Sam looked up at him: What I mean is, we could try. (he questioned her with his eyes and she insisted, glancing at the crowd in the bar) With care.
Jack shook his head: About a dozen?
Sam gritted her teeth and looked away: Yeah. This is stupid.
Silence.
Jack repeated to himself: I'll wait for you.
There was another silence where they looked at each other.
Sam finally nodded and relented: I'm okay with that.
He stared at her and held his beer out to her. She hesitated, then toasted with him.
Timeline: *After SGU*
Jack pulled himself together: No don't... Sorry. I wasn't expecting you.
Sam frowned: I thought you said you'd wait?
Jack, after a few seconds: I thought I was clear.
Jack pulled himself together: No don't... Sorry. I wasn't expecting you.
Sam frowned: I thought you said you'd wait?
Jack, after a few seconds: I thought I was clear.
Timeline: *During SGU*
The extravagant party was at its peak. All the political and military brass were dressed up. Some were dancing, like Vala and Daniel to escape the superficial conversations, some were more interested in the buffet, like Mckay very concerned about whether there was lemon anywhere, and others, like the old general, swore by the open bar. Sitting next to Teal'c, they looked around at the guests. They saw Sam in her beautiful long black dress laughing in Agent Barrett's arms on the dance floor. Jack swallowed, more out of regret than jealousy. She wanted children, he knew it, but she was over 40 and he was in his 60s. Given his health, he certainly wouldn't be around for their college entrance. She had called off a wedding for him and put her life on hold. Even though he had insisted she enjoy life without him, he knew she was waiting. She was waiting for him. How on earth had he proposed this to her?
Teal'c sensed his friend's confusion and put down his grenadine: You seem preoccupied, O'Neill.
Jack emerged: What? (Teal'c stared at him and Jack looked away uncomfortably) It's alright, T. (He winced at the jaffa's insistence and gave up trying to lie to him) She looks happy.
Teal'c turned his attention back to her friend: Yes, but that is not my point.
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness: Did you ever think you were too old? (Teal'c raised his eyebrow and questioned him with his eyes. Jack tilted his head at the memory of his friend's age and looked out at the dance floor) I mean, for all that?
Sam caught his gaze on her and smiled.
Teal'c understood what he meant and clenched his jaw several times: Numbers don't matter in the heart of a warrior.
Sam seemed to thank Barrett, then nodded discreetly to his superior before heading for an exit.
Jack grinned and finished his drink: Easy for you. (he stood up and put his empty glass on the bar) Excuse me.
The extravagant party was at its peak. All the political and military brass were dressed up. Some were dancing, like Vala and Daniel to escape the superficial conversations, some were more interested in the buffet, like Mckay very concerned about whether there was lemon anywhere, and others, like the old general, swore by the open bar. Sitting next to Teal'c, they looked around at the guests. They saw Sam in her beautiful long black dress laughing in Agent Barrett's arms on the dance floor. Jack swallowed, more out of regret than jealousy. She wanted children, he knew it, but she was over 40 and he was in his 60s. Given his health, he certainly wouldn't be around for their college entrance. She had called off a wedding for him and put her life on hold. Even though he had insisted she enjoy life without him, he knew she was waiting. She was waiting for him. How on earth had he proposed this to her?
Teal'c sensed his friend's confusion and put down his grenadine: You seem preoccupied, O'Neill.
Jack emerged: What? (Teal'c stared at him and Jack looked away uncomfortably) It's alright, T. (He winced at the jaffa's insistence and gave up trying to lie to him) She looks happy.
Teal'c turned his attention back to her friend: Yes, but that is not my point.
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness: Did you ever think you were too old? (Teal'c raised his eyebrow and questioned him with his eyes. Jack tilted his head at the memory of his friend's age and looked out at the dance floor) I mean, for all that?
Sam caught his gaze on her and smiled.
Teal'c understood what he meant and clenched his jaw several times: Numbers don't matter in the heart of a warrior.
Sam seemed to thank Barrett, then nodded discreetly to his superior before heading for an exit.
Jack grinned and finished his drink: Easy for you. (he stood up and put his empty glass on the bar) Excuse me.
*
They found a place that was discreet but not compromising. Sam's smile sagged at his expression.
Sam, concerned: What's going on?
Jack shook his head: I... I can't anymore.
Sam frowned: "Can't anymore" what?
Jack swallowed: Keeping my promise.
Sam froze and opened her mouth in shock: What? (he remained silent, so she looked for a reason and offered) Have you met anyone?
Jack frowned slightly: No.
Silence
Sam whispered: You promised me.
He remained silent but winced and she frowned at his reaction.
Sam murmured: "Can't" or "don't want"?
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness and looked away: Carter. I've made a decision and I'd like you to respect it.
Sam stared at him for several seconds, then shook her head: Call me when you stop your bullshit.
And she walked away.
Sam, concerned: What's going on?
Jack shook his head: I... I can't anymore.
Sam frowned: "Can't anymore" what?
Jack swallowed: Keeping my promise.
Sam froze and opened her mouth in shock: What? (he remained silent, so she looked for a reason and offered) Have you met anyone?
Jack frowned slightly: No.
Silence
Sam whispered: You promised me.
He remained silent but winced and she frowned at his reaction.
Sam murmured: "Can't" or "don't want"?
Jack moistened his lips in nervousness and looked away: Carter. I've made a decision and I'd like you to respect it.
Sam stared at him for several seconds, then shook her head: Call me when you stop your bullshit.
And she walked away.
Timeline: *After SGU*
Jack, after a few seconds: I thought I was clear.
Sam: What? That decision where I didn't have a good reason? (she chuckled) I'm the one who doesn't keep my promises, not you. (he remained silent, she tilted her head and insisted) Really? You don't want to go back on it? (he remained silent, she became impatient, grabbed her bag and took out her phone) Great.
She sent a text message, a few seconds later a white glow enveloped her and she disappeared.
Jack, after a few seconds: I thought I was clear.
Sam: What? That decision where I didn't have a good reason? (she chuckled) I'm the one who doesn't keep my promises, not you. (he remained silent, she tilted her head and insisted) Really? You don't want to go back on it? (he remained silent, she became impatient, grabbed her bag and took out her phone) Great.
She sent a text message, a few seconds later a white glow enveloped her and she disappeared.
Timeline: *After SGU*
Beckett walked into the room and froze as she discovered her rummaging through the shelf: Samantha?
Sam gasped, turned to smile at her and continued to rummage: Doctor. Hi.
Beckett approached: What are you doing?
Sam: Ugh. I need extra supplies for gene therapy.
Beckett frowned: Why? (he looked at his tablet and searched his calendar) Do we have any new recruits?
Sam finally found the box: No-no. (She opened it and checked the quantity) I'd like to do some tests.
Beckett, curious: What tests?
Sam closed the box: Increase the percentage of success.
Beckett raised his eyebrows: They went back on their decision and gave us the funds?
Sam put the box on a table and took a tablet to change the number in stock: You know how they are.
Beckett frowned at the vague answer and grabbed her wrist: Samantha, what's going on?
Sam hesitated but knew he wasn't going to leave her alone: I... I need to get the gene. (he opened his mouth, knowing full well that she had already been tested when she arrived in Atlantis years ago and it had been negative. She insisted with a desperate look on her face) Please.
Beckett, concerned: I have a little idea what you're going to do and I can assure you it's going to kill you, my dear.
Sam looked away and then stared: I know. (he froze) I need to say some things I should have said a long time ago to someone. (he swallowed, she insisted again and repeated herself) Please.
Beckett looked at her for several seconds and finally let go: Make sure he gets it.
She smiled softly to thank him and validated the number of stocks on the shelf.
Beckett walked into the room and froze as she discovered her rummaging through the shelf: Samantha?
Sam gasped, turned to smile at her and continued to rummage: Doctor. Hi.
Beckett approached: What are you doing?
Sam: Ugh. I need extra supplies for gene therapy.
Beckett frowned: Why? (he looked at his tablet and searched his calendar) Do we have any new recruits?
Sam finally found the box: No-no. (She opened it and checked the quantity) I'd like to do some tests.
Beckett, curious: What tests?
Sam closed the box: Increase the percentage of success.
Beckett raised his eyebrows: They went back on their decision and gave us the funds?
Sam put the box on a table and took a tablet to change the number in stock: You know how they are.
Beckett frowned at the vague answer and grabbed her wrist: Samantha, what's going on?
Sam hesitated but knew he wasn't going to leave her alone: I... I need to get the gene. (he opened his mouth, knowing full well that she had already been tested when she arrived in Atlantis years ago and it had been negative. She insisted with a desperate look on her face) Please.
Beckett, concerned: I have a little idea what you're going to do and I can assure you it's going to kill you, my dear.
Sam looked away and then stared: I know. (he froze) I need to say some things I should have said a long time ago to someone. (he swallowed, she insisted again and repeated herself) Please.
Beckett looked at her for several seconds and finally let go: Make sure he gets it.
She smiled softly to thank him and validated the number of stocks on the shelf.
Temporality: *After SGU*
She opened the back door of the jumper containing the time machine. Carefully, she went inside. The lights came on and she blew slightly, reassured that she didn't do all this for nothing. She wiped her forehead with her sleeve, closed the back door and plugged in the time machine.
She opened the back door of the jumper containing the time machine. Carefully, she went inside. The lights came on and she blew slightly, reassured that she didn't do all this for nothing. She wiped her forehead with her sleeve, closed the back door and plugged in the time machine.
Timeline: *After SG-1 7x13 Grace*
The first guests would arrive in a few minutes. He walked out the back door, a stack of cake plates in his hands and headed for the garden table.
Alternative Sam: Sir?
Jack gasped and almost dropped the plates: Jeez! (he looked at her long brown hair in disbelief) Carter? What did you do to your hair?
Alternative Sam: I... I need to talk to you.
The man remained silent, totally stunned by the woman in front of him.
Jack repeated himself: Carter? What did you do to your hair?
The first guests would arrive in a few minutes. He walked out the back door, a stack of cake plates in his hands and headed for the garden table.
Alternative Sam: Sir?
Jack gasped and almost dropped the plates: Jeez! (he looked at her long brown hair in disbelief) Carter? What did you do to your hair?
Alternative Sam: I... I need to talk to you.
The man remained silent, totally stunned by the woman in front of him.
Jack repeated himself: Carter? What did you do to your hair?
*
Sweating and staggering, she had explained the situation to him. She seemed more and more desperate as she told him, but he stayed on one detail: this woman in front of him was practically his age.
Alternative Sam: Please. Do it.
Jack tried to calm her down and raised his hands to her: Okay okay! I'll do it.
Alternative Sam: Please. Do it.
Jack tried to calm her down and raised his hands to her: Okay okay! I'll do it.
*
Timeline: *After SG-1 7x13 Grace*
Jack: Well...this vacation is coming along pretty well.
Sam smiled weakly at his joke and blew out a breath, looking away: Yeah. (He frowned slightly, puzzled by her reaction) I was planning to visit my family in San Diego.
Jack nodded even though she wasn't looking at him: Good.
There was another silence. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up inside her. He only saw her rib cage rise and fall a little faster and her body tense up. He winced and slowly sat up.
Jack: Need anything?
She stopped herself from answering him "you".
Sam shook her head without looking at him: I'm fine.
Jack huffed: Okay.
He left. A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
Jack: Well...this vacation is coming along pretty well.
Sam smiled weakly at his joke and blew out a breath, looking away: Yeah. (He frowned slightly, puzzled by her reaction) I was planning to visit my family in San Diego.
Jack nodded even though she wasn't looking at him: Good.
There was another silence. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up inside her. He only saw her rib cage rise and fall a little faster and her body tense up. He winced and slowly sat up.
Jack: Need anything?
She stopped herself from answering him "you".
Sam shook her head without looking at him: I'm fine.
Jack huffed: Okay.
He left. A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
Jack entered his bedroom and was startled again when he saw her: Jeez!
Alternative Sam, weak: What have you done?
Jack was concerned about her condition: Carter? Are you okay?
Alternative Sam moved her hand to let him know it wasn't important and repeated: What have you done?
Jack: You look terrible.
Alternative Sam shook her head: You don't get it. (He questioned her with his eyes and she insisted as a tear rolled down her cheek) I'm still here. Either it didn't work, or you didn't.
Jack winced: Sorry I... I didn't make it. I... I can't.
Alternative Sam frowned: Why?
Jack: You... She-She is terrified. Lost in her life. I don't have to... influence her.
Alternative Sam closed her eyes: You don't get it... She's going to meet someone who's going to take advantage of the fact that she's lost in her life. (He swallowed) I will accept his proposal and promise myself to forget you.
Jack grinned: I'm not sure I want to know all this you know-
Alternative Sam: But I'll never make it. (He opened his mouth and looked at her. She hesitated, her voice almost breaking) Just like I'll never be able to tell you that I'm ready.
Jack, confused: What... What?
Alternative Sam huffed and held her stomach in discomfort: You're going to break my heart. (she insisted) Break her heart. (he remained silent, lost in thought, and she stared at him) And I... She's sorry for breaking yours so often.
He raised his head sharply towards her. She smiled nervously and headed down the hall.
Jack, surprised: Where are ya going?
Alternative Sam shook her head and whispered: It doesn't matter, I won't be long.
Jack froze: What?
Alternative Sam: Do what you want. It's your life. I just... I don't want to see this again.
He watched her walk away.
Alternative Sam, weak: What have you done?
Jack was concerned about her condition: Carter? Are you okay?
Alternative Sam moved her hand to let him know it wasn't important and repeated: What have you done?
Jack: You look terrible.
Alternative Sam shook her head: You don't get it. (He questioned her with his eyes and she insisted as a tear rolled down her cheek) I'm still here. Either it didn't work, or you didn't.
Jack winced: Sorry I... I didn't make it. I... I can't.
Alternative Sam frowned: Why?
Jack: You... She-She is terrified. Lost in her life. I don't have to... influence her.
Alternative Sam closed her eyes: You don't get it... She's going to meet someone who's going to take advantage of the fact that she's lost in her life. (He swallowed) I will accept his proposal and promise myself to forget you.
Jack grinned: I'm not sure I want to know all this you know-
Alternative Sam: But I'll never make it. (He opened his mouth and looked at her. She hesitated, her voice almost breaking) Just like I'll never be able to tell you that I'm ready.
Jack, confused: What... What?
Alternative Sam huffed and held her stomach in discomfort: You're going to break my heart. (she insisted) Break her heart. (he remained silent, lost in thought, and she stared at him) And I... She's sorry for breaking yours so often.
He raised his head sharply towards her. She smiled nervously and headed down the hall.
Jack, surprised: Where are ya going?
Alternative Sam shook her head and whispered: It doesn't matter, I won't be long.
Jack froze: What?
Alternative Sam: Do what you want. It's your life. I just... I don't want to see this again.
He watched her walk away.
He ruminated for several hours before deciding to get in his car and drive to her house.
Sam opened the door: Sir?
Jack: Sorry to bother you I... (she crossed her arms over her robe, uncomfortable with him catching her in the middle of the night dressed like that) I couldn't sleep.
Sam, concerned: Are you okay?
Jack put his hand on her neck: I don't know.
Sam awkwardly invited him in and closed the door behind him: Herbal tea?
Jack whispered: Thank you.
Jack followed her to the kitchen: Sorry I... I screwed up.
Sam filled the kettle from behind: It's all right, sir.
Jack grinned: No, I mean... Before now. (she put the kettle on the stand and questioned him with her eyes as she took out two cups) I should have offered you to reconsider your decision.
Sam frowned and put bags in the cups: "My decision?
Jack: Not to talk about us. (she froze and he hesitated to continue) I... Sorry.
Sam swallowed: Why?
Jack shook his head and looked around for courage: Because... Because at the same time I am terrified of receiving another "no" from you and at the same time I would be rather reassured.
She closed her eyes and felt guilty about all the times she had rejected him. He winced as he guessed her thoughts.
Sam opened the door: Sir?
Jack: Sorry to bother you I... (she crossed her arms over her robe, uncomfortable with him catching her in the middle of the night dressed like that) I couldn't sleep.
Sam, concerned: Are you okay?
Jack put his hand on her neck: I don't know.
Sam awkwardly invited him in and closed the door behind him: Herbal tea?
Jack whispered: Thank you.
Jack followed her to the kitchen: Sorry I... I screwed up.
Sam filled the kettle from behind: It's all right, sir.
Jack grinned: No, I mean... Before now. (she put the kettle on the stand and questioned him with her eyes as she took out two cups) I should have offered you to reconsider your decision.
Sam frowned and put bags in the cups: "My decision?
Jack: Not to talk about us. (she froze and he hesitated to continue) I... Sorry.
Sam swallowed: Why?
Jack shook his head and looked around for courage: Because... Because at the same time I am terrified of receiving another "no" from you and at the same time I would be rather reassured.
She closed her eyes and felt guilty about all the times she had rejected him. He winced as he guessed her thoughts.
The lights of the jumper crackled in the sidereal void of space. She sat against the wall next to the window and watched the stars. Sweat joined the tears on her cheeks and she heard the engines shut down. She knew it wasn't just the ATA gene that was disappearing from her body. Her life was also leaving her.
Jack: What I mean is that... I feel like you went through something that messed you up up there and I... I don't want to take advantage of the situation.
She looked up at him, surprised at his words. She swallowed and looked away. Indeed, having had the impression of having been left behind had brought up her fear of finding herself alone, abandoned, like when her mother died. She tried to pull herself together as she straightened up and moistened her lips with nervousness at the thought of having to admit to him what he had "messed up" for her up there. Why on earth had she had to imagine him telling her that he would always be there for her?
Sam hesitated: So what's your offer?
Jack: So... I'll wait for you.
She looked up at him, surprised at his words. She swallowed and looked away. Indeed, having had the impression of having been left behind had brought up her fear of finding herself alone, abandoned, like when her mother died. She tried to pull herself together as she straightened up and moistened her lips with nervousness at the thought of having to admit to him what he had "messed up" for her up there. Why on earth had she had to imagine him telling her that he would always be there for her?
Sam hesitated: So what's your offer?
Jack: So... I'll wait for you.
She closed her eyes and her breathing faded to the chilling silence of space.
He began to regret all the times he felt like rolling his eyes at her anguish. Why the hell wasn't she answering him? At this point, he would take anything. Even his technobabble.
Jack tilted his head: When you're ready.
The kettle's button deactivated to announce the end of its cycle.
Jack tilted his head: When you're ready.
The kettle's button deactivated to announce the end of its cycle.
Timeline: *Early SG-1 7x15 Chimera*
She placed her tray on a table in the dining hall and sat down. She took a sip of her coffee and began to read the day's paper. She didn't notice him until he set down his tray with a bowl of cereal in front of her.
Jack sat down: 'ning.
She straightened up slightly to give herself some composure. Since that conversation two months ago, she was even more nervous than usual in his presence. He had remained the same.
Sam: Good morning, sir.
He smiled from the corner of his lips and began his meal. Slightly disconcerted at his ability to remain so calm, she resumed her reading as best she could.
Notes: *The time frame of "Chimera" changes.*
She placed her tray on a table in the dining hall and sat down. She took a sip of her coffee and began to read the day's paper. She didn't notice him until he set down his tray with a bowl of cereal in front of her.
Jack sat down: 'ning.
She straightened up slightly to give herself some composure. Since that conversation two months ago, she was even more nervous than usual in his presence. He had remained the same.
Sam: Good morning, sir.
He smiled from the corner of his lips and began his meal. Slightly disconcerted at his ability to remain so calm, she resumed her reading as best she could.
Notes: *The time frame of "Chimera" changes.*
Timeline: *After SG-1 7x17&7x18 Heroes*
Jack opened the door: Carter?
Sam: Sorry to bother you, I just... I couldn't sleep.
Jack, concerned: Cass’?
Sam: At home. She's fine. (Tilting her head nervously) As fine as she can be.
Jack nodded and invited her in: Herbal tea?
Sam shook her head: I'm fine, thanks.
Jack, awkwardly: I won't bet on it.
Sam swallowed: You still want to honor your promise?
Jack raised his eyebrows: My promise? (she shook her head insistently) Oh, that.
Sam, nervously: Because... Because I think I'm ready.
Jack stared at her: Carter, you just lost-
Sam shook her head: I'm ready.
He stared at her and a tear rolled down her cheek. He approached her gently, as he had done a few hours ago, and she stared at him. He put his hands on her cheeks, wiped her tears with his thumbs but did nothing more.
Sam begged him in a breath: Please. I don't want to wait anymore.
Then he brought his face to hers and kissed her.
Jack opened the door: Carter?
Sam: Sorry to bother you, I just... I couldn't sleep.
Jack, concerned: Cass’?
Sam: At home. She's fine. (Tilting her head nervously) As fine as she can be.
Jack nodded and invited her in: Herbal tea?
Sam shook her head: I'm fine, thanks.
Jack, awkwardly: I won't bet on it.
Sam swallowed: You still want to honor your promise?
Jack raised his eyebrows: My promise? (she shook her head insistently) Oh, that.
Sam, nervously: Because... Because I think I'm ready.
Jack stared at her: Carter, you just lost-
Sam shook her head: I'm ready.
He stared at her and a tear rolled down her cheek. He approached her gently, as he had done a few hours ago, and she stared at him. He put his hands on her cheeks, wiped her tears with his thumbs but did nothing more.
Sam begged him in a breath: Please. I don't want to wait anymore.
Then he brought his face to hers and kissed her.
The jumper and its occupant vanished, as if they'd never existed.