CW: *alcohol mention* *fatphobia*
Jack walked into the living room, opened a box of Chicago's finest donuts - the ones from Krispy Kremes - and placed them between the corpses of liquor bottles and soda cans on the coffee table. Teal'c was reading an old National Geographic and Daniel could barely make out a line in an old book from Catherine's collection with so much alcohol in his blood.
Teal'c nodded: O'neill.
Jack: Hey.
Daniel picks one: Your day?
Jack opened a beer: Very informative. (He leaned on the edge of the fireplace and took a sip. Teal'c took a doughnut as well) Your day?
Daniel: Good.
Teal'c: Restful.
Daniel insisted: Your day?
Jack: Good. Excellent. (he tilted his head) Not restful.
Daniel: Is this classified?
Jack moistened his lips and juggled his eyes between the bottles and Daniel: The bar is already empty?
Daniel: A woman, maybe?
Jack: Oh ya. Dollars to Donuts you'll like her. (he asked Teal'c) Carter?
Teal'c nodded outward : You don't eat donuts anymore, O'Neill?
Jack looked for a valid excuse: I've got cholesterol... (he touched his stomach) And some weight to lose.
It was out of the question to admit publicly that since a certain cop had appeared in the life of his second in command, donuts didn't taste the same. It was far too cliché, even for him. Daniel was still waiting for his answer to develop, so Jack tossed him the book he had in his pocket.
Daniel read the cover with curiosity: "From Patriarchy to Capitalism - A Primer for the Novice" by Robert C. Cooper?
Jack grabbed a plaid and another beer: Don't lose my page.
Echo:
*Your day? (...) Your day? - Good. - Restful. - Your day? - Good. (he tilted his head) Not restful.*
Notes:
*In SG-1 episode 4x06, O'neill and Teal'c use the book "Latin for the Novice" by Stargate producer and writer Joseph Mallozzi, that you can see asking where all the donuts went in this video montage. This is a similar easter egg to Robert C. Cooper who is one of the producers and writers as well*
*Jack's time on the donuts was too good not to imagine this hypothesis! Indeed, he likes donuts but in the Chimera episode where Pete's character appears, he refuses them!*
Jack walked into the living room, opened a box of Chicago's finest donuts - the ones from Krispy Kremes - and placed them between the corpses of liquor bottles and soda cans on the coffee table. Teal'c was reading an old National Geographic and Daniel could barely make out a line in an old book from Catherine's collection with so much alcohol in his blood.
Teal'c nodded: O'neill.
Jack: Hey.
Daniel picks one: Your day?
Jack opened a beer: Very informative. (He leaned on the edge of the fireplace and took a sip. Teal'c took a doughnut as well) Your day?
Daniel: Good.
Teal'c: Restful.
Daniel insisted: Your day?
Jack: Good. Excellent. (he tilted his head) Not restful.
Daniel: Is this classified?
Jack moistened his lips and juggled his eyes between the bottles and Daniel: The bar is already empty?
Daniel: A woman, maybe?
Jack: Oh ya. Dollars to Donuts you'll like her. (he asked Teal'c) Carter?
Teal'c nodded outward : You don't eat donuts anymore, O'Neill?
Jack looked for a valid excuse: I've got cholesterol... (he touched his stomach) And some weight to lose.
It was out of the question to admit publicly that since a certain cop had appeared in the life of his second in command, donuts didn't taste the same. It was far too cliché, even for him. Daniel was still waiting for his answer to develop, so Jack tossed him the book he had in his pocket.
Daniel read the cover with curiosity: "From Patriarchy to Capitalism - A Primer for the Novice" by Robert C. Cooper?
Jack grabbed a plaid and another beer: Don't lose my page.
Echo:
*Your day? (...) Your day? - Good. - Restful. - Your day? - Good. (he tilted his head) Not restful.*
Notes:
*In SG-1 episode 4x06, O'neill and Teal'c use the book "Latin for the Novice" by Stargate producer and writer Joseph Mallozzi, that you can see asking where all the donuts went in this video montage. This is a similar easter egg to Robert C. Cooper who is one of the producers and writers as well*
*Jack's time on the donuts was too good not to imagine this hypothesis! Indeed, he likes donuts but in the Chimera episode where Pete's character appears, he refuses them!*
TW: *description of rape* *pedophilia* *panick attack* *abuse of weakness*
CW: *victim blaming* *post-traumatic amnesia* *dissociation* *mention of death* *mention of vomit*
Sitting at the end of the pontoon, her feet in the water, she let her mind go to the night sounds of the pond. The loons had been sleeping for a long time, but the gryllidaes were chirping happily. She heard the door close and footsteps approaching behind her. She knew he wasn't going to comment on her being alone again, even Daniel and Teal'c were giving her the space she needed, not holding it against her.
Jack advanced on the pontoon: Not too cold?
Sam shifted her feet in the water: A little.
Jack: Can I join you?
Sam: Feel at home. (he handed her the plaid) Um, I'm fine. Thank you.
He took off his shoes and socks and sat down beside her. When the frozen water hit his feet, he jumped and took them off immediately.
Jack grunted: Geez...!
Sam blew out her nose: You've always been chilly. (He gave her a dirty look and she held back a laugh) I'm just saying, for someone from Minnesota...
Jack: I was born in Illinois. And... I like to say I have Irish blood.
Sam smiled and looked away: I know. (He handed her a beer) Thanks.
Jack: Don't throw up on me.
Sam: I will not make that promise.
Jack toasted her, a silence fell and he heckled her with his shoulder: You all right?
She put the bottle down beside her, folded her legs and laid her back on the wood of the pontoon.
Sam looked up at the clear sky: It's beautiful, isn't it?
Jack swatted away a bug and agreed with a little throaty noise: My grandfather used to take me to the Boundary Waters when I was little. (He lay down too) The most beautiful place to stargaze.
She nodded and they got lost in the stars for a moment.
Sam in a breath: I don't even know if this is real.
Jack turned his head toward her: What?
Sam, nervously: My memories. (she continued to look up at the sky, her eyes lost) It just came back and I... I don't know.
Jack frowned: You... What? (she didn't answer, too confused by her own confused feelings and he hesitated) Maybe... Maybe the most important thing is not whether it's real or not. (she turned her head towards him and he tilted his head) Maybe the most important thing is that you don't keep it alone.
She accepted the hand he offered, rested her gaze on the stars and drew a long, deep breath.
Sam: I was seventeen. (She was silent, hesitant. He swallowed, a shiver ran through his body) Just joined the Academy and... And I forgot for years. Post-traumatic amnesia, I guess. (she bit her lip nervously) Fifth brought it all back. (she took another deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment) Or implanted these false memories. I'm having some kind of... flashes. I see us in that lab again (she opened her eyes again) but it's like I'm not me. Like I'm watching the scene and I can't do anything. I see it on me. (she bit her lips again for a moment, then closed her eyes) I feel like I see it again every time I close my eyes right now. (she took a long moment for herself. He remained silent, not knowing if he should do more) I hear this noise continuously in my head. That mixture of the dull whirring of the fans on the lab machines, the students hanging out in the hallways late.... And that damn.... Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam.
Jack, a little confused: Hmm?
Sam opened her eyes again: Bouncing balls on the courts next door. The tennis courts faced the windows and were often left open because of the heat from the machines. (She turned her head toward him) That noise. On a loop. Bam bam. Bam bam. I was concentrating on it to forget what was going on.
He swallowed and looked away, unable to hold her gaze. Stunned by his reaction, she closed her eyes and turned her head. After several seconds, he pressed his hand again to apologize for needing a little time to process.
Sam opened her eyes again: He was my superior, professor of quantum physics. He taught me, guided me, showed me everything. (He closed his eyes and felt like throwing up. She swallowed, remembered Replicarter's words about Fifth and took a few seconds to put the thought away in a corner of her head. Had she manipulated him that day by using those words or was she trying to make her understand something?) A very good man. Highly respected. He had power and knew it. (with bitterness) Dad loved him. He often had dinner at home. (she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. He pressed her hand again) I was in awe of him. (she swallowed) On weeknights, we both worked. One day he told me that he'd heard about my mother, that it must have been hard for me. I was a little... stunned that he was talking about her, it was already several years ago. (she closed her eyes for a few seconds and opened them again straight away) It all happened very quickly. He put his hand on mine. (she pressed her hand hard into Jack's, almost painfully) I still feel... I didn't understand, I was paralyzed. I was scared. And I guess since I wasn't doing anything he kept going. (He closed his eyes and tensed up) I waited for it to go away. Petrified. (she continued louder and faster) It wasn't possible, it was in my head, my imagination. I couldn't believe it. (she paused, then became angry) I was so disgusted with myself. To be so weak, so vulnerable. Of not doing anything. For letting myself... (she tensed and her breathing quickened) Since then I promised myself I would never be vulnerable again. (she added with hatred) It was my fault for choosing that dream, my fault for not saying anything at the time.
He took a deep breath to calm himself and pressed his hand into hers a little harder.
Sam more quietly: We went to his funeral a few years ago. I wasn't even happy that he died. (She turned her head to Jack) It was like he killed me from the inside. I was dead before he was.
She was silent, he understood that she had finished and that she awaited a reaction. He turned his body towards her to look into her eyes.
Jack: I'm sorry.
Sam shook her head and whispered: It's okay.
Jack immediately straightened up: Hey! (she seemed to have no emotion at all and this threw him off, she had been very emotional the last few days) It's not "okay" (he got angry) it's the opposite of "okay"! (she looked away, he added more calmly) Carter, rape is punishable by law. It's a crime.
Sam straightened up and put her arms around her knees: That's all in the past. I don't want to be a victim.
Jack froze: But you are. It's not your fault (she looked away. An internal struggle was going on inside her. He frowned) You think being a victim is being weak? (she turned to him) Dontcha know?
Sam looked into the darkness and muttered: No.
Jack straightened up: In my memory, that's abuse of weakness. That's not the same. That's what he did. He took advantage of you while you were vulnerable. 17 years old for God's sake. You were underage! He must have been what? (he didn't dare to count) Hell no you're not weak! And you are the strongest person I know.
Sam: I'm a little tired of pretending.
Jack shook his head: You're talking nonsense.
She looked at him incredulously and then frowned. He felt bad for being too rough at a time like this.
Sam, coldly: I think I know better than you.
Jack: And I think I know more than you think I know, believe me. (he wonders for a split second if he meant something by that, then he thinks again) What I mean is that you're probably tired of being strong, tired of... Carrying it all. But that doesn't make you weak or vulnerable. A victim, yes.
Sam grumbled: Hurmf.
Jack's eyes widened at his reaction: Since when do we blame the victims, Carter? The people we save every day, it's their fault maybe?
Sam, sharply: I know all that! I just don't want to have any more of these damn seizures... (more quietly) I'd rather when I didn't remember.
Jack hesitated: Look, I'm not an expert and I'm afraid I'm talking more nonsense than anything else. (cautiously) I do think I have some responsibility in this matter.
Sam grinned: You've already told me that. No, don't worry. It'll go away. You are not responsible.
Jack moved his hands in the air: Not directly, but let's just say I don't want it to happen again to anyone. Or that a (he emphasized the word) victim doesn't ask for help, because I wouldn't look into it. (she swallowed) What?
Sam: It won't work. I've tried it. No one can stop them.
Echo:
*cold / chilly
*beautiful*
*She knew he wasn't going to comment on her being alone again / that you don't keep it alone*
*My memories. / In my memory*
*real / it was in my head, my imagination*
*important*
*vulnerable / weak / weakness/ strong / strongest*
*maybe*
*my fault / your fault*
*I waited for it to go away. / It will go away.*
*victim*
*I'm a little tired of pretending. / tired of... Carrying it all.*
* I think I know. - AndI think I know (...) you think I know*
*responsibility / responsible*
Notes:
*If you watch the video again that featured Sam's nightmares in chapter 2 when she is at the hotel in Memphis, and pay attention to the sound, you will hear tennis balls bouncing*
*”Fifth brought it all back. (she took another deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment) Or implanted these false memories. I'm having some kind of... flashes. I see us in that lab again (she opened her eyes again) but it's like I'm not me. Like I'm watching the scene and I can't do anything. I see it on me. (she bit her lips again for a moment, then closed her eyes) I feel like I see it again every time I close my eyes right now. “ echoes Fifth's torture of Sam, including its images of an Unas ("terrifying" creature) transforming into a man's face in close-up, as if it were on top of her (source)*
*Video: Example of how children learn about rape culture (source)*
CW: *victim blaming* *post-traumatic amnesia* *dissociation* *mention of death* *mention of vomit*
Sitting at the end of the pontoon, her feet in the water, she let her mind go to the night sounds of the pond. The loons had been sleeping for a long time, but the gryllidaes were chirping happily. She heard the door close and footsteps approaching behind her. She knew he wasn't going to comment on her being alone again, even Daniel and Teal'c were giving her the space she needed, not holding it against her.
Jack advanced on the pontoon: Not too cold?
Sam shifted her feet in the water: A little.
Jack: Can I join you?
Sam: Feel at home. (he handed her the plaid) Um, I'm fine. Thank you.
He took off his shoes and socks and sat down beside her. When the frozen water hit his feet, he jumped and took them off immediately.
Jack grunted: Geez...!
Sam blew out her nose: You've always been chilly. (He gave her a dirty look and she held back a laugh) I'm just saying, for someone from Minnesota...
Jack: I was born in Illinois. And... I like to say I have Irish blood.
Sam smiled and looked away: I know. (He handed her a beer) Thanks.
Jack: Don't throw up on me.
Sam: I will not make that promise.
Jack toasted her, a silence fell and he heckled her with his shoulder: You all right?
She put the bottle down beside her, folded her legs and laid her back on the wood of the pontoon.
Sam looked up at the clear sky: It's beautiful, isn't it?
Jack swatted away a bug and agreed with a little throaty noise: My grandfather used to take me to the Boundary Waters when I was little. (He lay down too) The most beautiful place to stargaze.
She nodded and they got lost in the stars for a moment.
Sam in a breath: I don't even know if this is real.
Jack turned his head toward her: What?
Sam, nervously: My memories. (she continued to look up at the sky, her eyes lost) It just came back and I... I don't know.
Jack frowned: You... What? (she didn't answer, too confused by her own confused feelings and he hesitated) Maybe... Maybe the most important thing is not whether it's real or not. (she turned her head towards him and he tilted his head) Maybe the most important thing is that you don't keep it alone.
She accepted the hand he offered, rested her gaze on the stars and drew a long, deep breath.
Sam: I was seventeen. (She was silent, hesitant. He swallowed, a shiver ran through his body) Just joined the Academy and... And I forgot for years. Post-traumatic amnesia, I guess. (she bit her lip nervously) Fifth brought it all back. (she took another deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment) Or implanted these false memories. I'm having some kind of... flashes. I see us in that lab again (she opened her eyes again) but it's like I'm not me. Like I'm watching the scene and I can't do anything. I see it on me. (she bit her lips again for a moment, then closed her eyes) I feel like I see it again every time I close my eyes right now. (she took a long moment for herself. He remained silent, not knowing if he should do more) I hear this noise continuously in my head. That mixture of the dull whirring of the fans on the lab machines, the students hanging out in the hallways late.... And that damn.... Bam bam. Bam bam. Bam bam.
Jack, a little confused: Hmm?
Sam opened her eyes again: Bouncing balls on the courts next door. The tennis courts faced the windows and were often left open because of the heat from the machines. (She turned her head toward him) That noise. On a loop. Bam bam. Bam bam. I was concentrating on it to forget what was going on.
He swallowed and looked away, unable to hold her gaze. Stunned by his reaction, she closed her eyes and turned her head. After several seconds, he pressed his hand again to apologize for needing a little time to process.
Sam opened her eyes again: He was my superior, professor of quantum physics. He taught me, guided me, showed me everything. (He closed his eyes and felt like throwing up. She swallowed, remembered Replicarter's words about Fifth and took a few seconds to put the thought away in a corner of her head. Had she manipulated him that day by using those words or was she trying to make her understand something?) A very good man. Highly respected. He had power and knew it. (with bitterness) Dad loved him. He often had dinner at home. (she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. He pressed her hand again) I was in awe of him. (she swallowed) On weeknights, we both worked. One day he told me that he'd heard about my mother, that it must have been hard for me. I was a little... stunned that he was talking about her, it was already several years ago. (she closed her eyes for a few seconds and opened them again straight away) It all happened very quickly. He put his hand on mine. (she pressed her hand hard into Jack's, almost painfully) I still feel... I didn't understand, I was paralyzed. I was scared. And I guess since I wasn't doing anything he kept going. (He closed his eyes and tensed up) I waited for it to go away. Petrified. (she continued louder and faster) It wasn't possible, it was in my head, my imagination. I couldn't believe it. (she paused, then became angry) I was so disgusted with myself. To be so weak, so vulnerable. Of not doing anything. For letting myself... (she tensed and her breathing quickened) Since then I promised myself I would never be vulnerable again. (she added with hatred) It was my fault for choosing that dream, my fault for not saying anything at the time.
He took a deep breath to calm himself and pressed his hand into hers a little harder.
Sam more quietly: We went to his funeral a few years ago. I wasn't even happy that he died. (She turned her head to Jack) It was like he killed me from the inside. I was dead before he was.
She was silent, he understood that she had finished and that she awaited a reaction. He turned his body towards her to look into her eyes.
Jack: I'm sorry.
Sam shook her head and whispered: It's okay.
Jack immediately straightened up: Hey! (she seemed to have no emotion at all and this threw him off, she had been very emotional the last few days) It's not "okay" (he got angry) it's the opposite of "okay"! (she looked away, he added more calmly) Carter, rape is punishable by law. It's a crime.
Sam straightened up and put her arms around her knees: That's all in the past. I don't want to be a victim.
Jack froze: But you are. It's not your fault (she looked away. An internal struggle was going on inside her. He frowned) You think being a victim is being weak? (she turned to him) Dontcha know?
Sam looked into the darkness and muttered: No.
Jack straightened up: In my memory, that's abuse of weakness. That's not the same. That's what he did. He took advantage of you while you were vulnerable. 17 years old for God's sake. You were underage! He must have been what? (he didn't dare to count) Hell no you're not weak! And you are the strongest person I know.
Sam: I'm a little tired of pretending.
Jack shook his head: You're talking nonsense.
She looked at him incredulously and then frowned. He felt bad for being too rough at a time like this.
Sam, coldly: I think I know better than you.
Jack: And I think I know more than you think I know, believe me. (he wonders for a split second if he meant something by that, then he thinks again) What I mean is that you're probably tired of being strong, tired of... Carrying it all. But that doesn't make you weak or vulnerable. A victim, yes.
Sam grumbled: Hurmf.
Jack's eyes widened at his reaction: Since when do we blame the victims, Carter? The people we save every day, it's their fault maybe?
Sam, sharply: I know all that! I just don't want to have any more of these damn seizures... (more quietly) I'd rather when I didn't remember.
Jack hesitated: Look, I'm not an expert and I'm afraid I'm talking more nonsense than anything else. (cautiously) I do think I have some responsibility in this matter.
Sam grinned: You've already told me that. No, don't worry. It'll go away. You are not responsible.
Jack moved his hands in the air: Not directly, but let's just say I don't want it to happen again to anyone. Or that a (he emphasized the word) victim doesn't ask for help, because I wouldn't look into it. (she swallowed) What?
Sam: It won't work. I've tried it. No one can stop them.
Echo:
*cold / chilly
*beautiful*
*She knew he wasn't going to comment on her being alone again / that you don't keep it alone*
*My memories. / In my memory*
*real / it was in my head, my imagination*
*important*
*vulnerable / weak / weakness/ strong / strongest*
*maybe*
*my fault / your fault*
*I waited for it to go away. / It will go away.*
*victim*
*I'm a little tired of pretending. / tired of... Carrying it all.*
* I think I know. - AndI think I know (...) you think I know*
*responsibility / responsible*
Notes:
*If you watch the video again that featured Sam's nightmares in chapter 2 when she is at the hotel in Memphis, and pay attention to the sound, you will hear tennis balls bouncing*
*”Fifth brought it all back. (she took another deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment) Or implanted these false memories. I'm having some kind of... flashes. I see us in that lab again (she opened her eyes again) but it's like I'm not me. Like I'm watching the scene and I can't do anything. I see it on me. (she bit her lips again for a moment, then closed her eyes) I feel like I see it again every time I close my eyes right now. “ echoes Fifth's torture of Sam, including its images of an Unas ("terrifying" creature) transforming into a man's face in close-up, as if it were on top of her (source)*
*Video: Example of how children learn about rape culture (source)*
TW: *mention sexual violence* *pedocriminality* *victim blaming* *slutshaming* *sexism* *rape culture* *manipulation* *abuse of weakness* *blackmail* *aggression*
Colonel Freesar, embarrassed: We... We were going to put her on a top secret project. She would bring a lot to our research. She is the kind of person we need. I can't say any more.
Colonel Daymoon: But you think she'd be interested?
Colonel Freesar: I have read her additional assignments that you passed on to me. I'm quite sure of it.
Silence.
Colonel Freesar quietly: I think if she gets a glimpse of what her future might hold, she won't be a concern.
Colonel Gary: Hmm. I think too. (He looked at the General) Sir. She's desperate.
Silence.
General: Good. Bring her in. (Dressed in her regular military uniform and with no expression on her face, she gave a military salute in the middle of the Council) Cadet Samantha Carter... Well, you're already a problem after three months. (She swallows) You're making very serious accusations about Colonel Mayers, are you aware of that?
Sam: Yes, sir.
Academy Director: You spend a lot of time outside of class with this teacher.
Sam: Yes, Colonel Mayers offered to help me learn more.
The men smiled slightly, she frowned.
Colonel Daymoon: So for you to stay late at night after class, alone with a teacher is... Normal?
Sam, puzzled: He suggested it himself.
Colonel Daymoon: So you could have refused.
Colonel Gary: But you agreed.
Sam: That's not... I didn't...
General: He has a wife. A family. (He insisted) Children.
Colonel Daymoon, pressed on: A career.
General: A girl about your age.
Sam stammered: Y-You don't believe me?
Academy Director: Let's just say you don't go unnoticed. (he looked her up and down in her uniform) Have you been acting inappropriately?
Colonel Daymoon frowned and stared at her: Is your haircut legal?
He questioned Colonel Gary with his eyes.
Colonel Gary looked at her: Hmm, now that you mention it, it does look long.
Sam caught off guard: But the rules say that-
Colonel Gary: Didn't you say you were responsible?
Sam, shocked: Excuse me?
Colonel Gary, coldly: "Excuse me, Colonel," Cadet.
Sam recovered: Yes, sir. Excuse me, Colonel. (she hesitated) I... I don't think I was responsible.
Academy Director pointed to her answer: You "think"? (she moistened her lips with nervousness and frowned) Do you drink during your late studies, Cadet Carter?
Sam shook her head: No.
Colonel Daymoon smiled: Fantasizing, perhaps?
They smiled at each other and she looked at them in disbelief.
General: Colonel Mayers is a good man. A leader like him, with integrity, respected by all. (he smiled from the corner of his lips) That might interest some people.
Sam: I... I don't see Colonel Mayers that way, sir.
General: Then maybe you're the one who wants to be interesting?
Sam widened her eyes: Excuse-... Sir?
General: You did it. You have our full attention, Cadet.
Colonel Daymoon: Who do you think you are?
Sam's breathing quickened.
Academy Director: And if you're looking for congratulations on your many accomplishments here, we're very impressed. (harshly) That shouldn't stop you from doing what we ask.
Colonel Gary: You're probably too strong for the Air Force?
Colonel Daymoon, contempt in his voice: You think you're better than us?
Sam petrified: No, I don't-
Academy Director: You know there will be a report? This will follow you all your life. (more sharply) This is your career you're putting on the line!
Colonel Daymoon: After NASA, then the Air Force, there aren't many more opportunities to go into space, Cadet.
General: If the Air Force doesn't satisfy you, Cadet Carter, (He pointed to the exit) the door is wide open, you can leave.
Sam shook: I... I don't want to leave, General-
Academy Director: Then perhaps we should part ways with you if you feel you are above the Air Force?
Sam: I never thought so, Director.
General: Of course you did.
Academy Director, coldly: You can go home, we won't keep you.
Tears began to flow down her cheeks without her being able to contain them. She remained as dignified as possible and tried not to let anything else show on her face.
Colonel Gary watched her cry and added coldly: Not everyone is cut out to be an Air Force officer, Cadet.
Time stood still around her. She knew what lay ahead. She closed her eyes for a second, desperate. She's going to lose. She's going to lose everything. She will never go into space. She will disappoint her father. It was all over.
Colonel Freesar, quietly: We have the opportunity to provide you with a future.
Colonel Daymoon continued: In the realm of what you desire.
Colonel Freesar: Even crazier than you can imagine, believe me.
She knew of Colonel Freesar's work in astrophysics and her curiosity was piqued. They saw a sparkle in her eyes that she could not do anything about.
General: But for that, you'll have to stop wasting our precious time, Cadet.
Colonel Freesar, harshly: To be offered such a proposal, after all your nonsense... Think carefully about the consequences of your actions.
Colonel Daymoon: Hmm. Especially for your age.
General: You have to get past your petty problems. There are much more important things at stake.
Hope. A glimmer of hope. A solution.
Sam raised his head shyly: I... I'll go to Space?
They looked at each other.
General: Yes.
She moistened her lips and a chilling silence fell for a few seconds as she thought.
Academy Director: Do you have something to add?
Sam felt the world slip from under her feet: If I may, I'd like to take back my statement, Director.
They smiled from the corner of their lips.
Academy Director: What about it?
Sam swallows: I made up that story to make myself interesting.
Academy Director: So you admit that you lied about the whole thing?
Sam tried to be as determined as possible: Yes, Director.
The Director nodded toward the General.
General coldly and in one breath: Cadet Carter, as far as I'm concerned, you've demonstrated your inability to serve in the United States Air Force. The board has decided to give you one last chance. I will not ask for your dismissal, but you should know that you will suffer the consequences of your lies and will be furloughed for 8 months with a warning, until your behavior is re-evaluated.
Nothing mattered anymore, no matter how many lies came out of her mouth from now on: She was going to see the stars.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Academy Director: We expect absolute discretion or there will be repercussions. Do you understand?
Sam: Yes, Director. I apologize.
General stood up and added to the group: Very well. (to Sam) Keep up, Cadet.
Sam nodded and gave a military salute: Yes, sir.
Echo:
*your age*
*excuse me / I apologize*
*you can leave. / I... I don't want to leave, General-*
*responsible*
*Y-You don't believe me? /believe me.*
*I think / you think*
*you're the one who wants to be interesting? / I made up that story to make myself interesting.*
* We have the opportunity / here aren't many more opportunities*
*lie / lied*
*stars / space / a glimmer / sparkle*
*a career / it's your career you're putting on the line*
*Remember in chapter 2 at their father's funeral, Mark says to his sister "You know you turn men's heads (he looked her up and down and judged her uniform apparently inappropriate) and you take advantage of it." Here, so long before, Director said to her " Let's just say you don't go unnoticed. (he looked her up and down in her uniform)"*
Notes:
*Mythomania is classified as a symptom of hysteria, which is an extremely sexist invention. I invite you to read up on these subjects. Here I wanted to explain a possible cause of all the lies of Carter's character. We don't lie without a reason.*
*The answers given by the disciplinary board here are an inspiration of all the victim-blaming phrases that are regularly said to them. Not receiving this kind of sentence is extremely rare, even today*
Colonel Freesar, embarrassed: We... We were going to put her on a top secret project. She would bring a lot to our research. She is the kind of person we need. I can't say any more.
Colonel Daymoon: But you think she'd be interested?
Colonel Freesar: I have read her additional assignments that you passed on to me. I'm quite sure of it.
Silence.
Colonel Freesar quietly: I think if she gets a glimpse of what her future might hold, she won't be a concern.
Colonel Gary: Hmm. I think too. (He looked at the General) Sir. She's desperate.
Silence.
General: Good. Bring her in. (Dressed in her regular military uniform and with no expression on her face, she gave a military salute in the middle of the Council) Cadet Samantha Carter... Well, you're already a problem after three months. (She swallows) You're making very serious accusations about Colonel Mayers, are you aware of that?
Sam: Yes, sir.
Academy Director: You spend a lot of time outside of class with this teacher.
Sam: Yes, Colonel Mayers offered to help me learn more.
The men smiled slightly, she frowned.
Colonel Daymoon: So for you to stay late at night after class, alone with a teacher is... Normal?
Sam, puzzled: He suggested it himself.
Colonel Daymoon: So you could have refused.
Colonel Gary: But you agreed.
Sam: That's not... I didn't...
General: He has a wife. A family. (He insisted) Children.
Colonel Daymoon, pressed on: A career.
General: A girl about your age.
Sam stammered: Y-You don't believe me?
Academy Director: Let's just say you don't go unnoticed. (he looked her up and down in her uniform) Have you been acting inappropriately?
Colonel Daymoon frowned and stared at her: Is your haircut legal?
He questioned Colonel Gary with his eyes.
Colonel Gary looked at her: Hmm, now that you mention it, it does look long.
Sam caught off guard: But the rules say that-
Colonel Gary: Didn't you say you were responsible?
Sam, shocked: Excuse me?
Colonel Gary, coldly: "Excuse me, Colonel," Cadet.
Sam recovered: Yes, sir. Excuse me, Colonel. (she hesitated) I... I don't think I was responsible.
Academy Director pointed to her answer: You "think"? (she moistened her lips with nervousness and frowned) Do you drink during your late studies, Cadet Carter?
Sam shook her head: No.
Colonel Daymoon smiled: Fantasizing, perhaps?
They smiled at each other and she looked at them in disbelief.
General: Colonel Mayers is a good man. A leader like him, with integrity, respected by all. (he smiled from the corner of his lips) That might interest some people.
Sam: I... I don't see Colonel Mayers that way, sir.
General: Then maybe you're the one who wants to be interesting?
Sam widened her eyes: Excuse-... Sir?
General: You did it. You have our full attention, Cadet.
Colonel Daymoon: Who do you think you are?
Sam's breathing quickened.
Academy Director: And if you're looking for congratulations on your many accomplishments here, we're very impressed. (harshly) That shouldn't stop you from doing what we ask.
Colonel Gary: You're probably too strong for the Air Force?
Colonel Daymoon, contempt in his voice: You think you're better than us?
Sam petrified: No, I don't-
Academy Director: You know there will be a report? This will follow you all your life. (more sharply) This is your career you're putting on the line!
Colonel Daymoon: After NASA, then the Air Force, there aren't many more opportunities to go into space, Cadet.
General: If the Air Force doesn't satisfy you, Cadet Carter, (He pointed to the exit) the door is wide open, you can leave.
Sam shook: I... I don't want to leave, General-
Academy Director: Then perhaps we should part ways with you if you feel you are above the Air Force?
Sam: I never thought so, Director.
General: Of course you did.
Academy Director, coldly: You can go home, we won't keep you.
Tears began to flow down her cheeks without her being able to contain them. She remained as dignified as possible and tried not to let anything else show on her face.
Colonel Gary watched her cry and added coldly: Not everyone is cut out to be an Air Force officer, Cadet.
Time stood still around her. She knew what lay ahead. She closed her eyes for a second, desperate. She's going to lose. She's going to lose everything. She will never go into space. She will disappoint her father. It was all over.
Colonel Freesar, quietly: We have the opportunity to provide you with a future.
Colonel Daymoon continued: In the realm of what you desire.
Colonel Freesar: Even crazier than you can imagine, believe me.
She knew of Colonel Freesar's work in astrophysics and her curiosity was piqued. They saw a sparkle in her eyes that she could not do anything about.
General: But for that, you'll have to stop wasting our precious time, Cadet.
Colonel Freesar, harshly: To be offered such a proposal, after all your nonsense... Think carefully about the consequences of your actions.
Colonel Daymoon: Hmm. Especially for your age.
General: You have to get past your petty problems. There are much more important things at stake.
Hope. A glimmer of hope. A solution.
Sam raised his head shyly: I... I'll go to Space?
They looked at each other.
General: Yes.
She moistened her lips and a chilling silence fell for a few seconds as she thought.
Academy Director: Do you have something to add?
Sam felt the world slip from under her feet: If I may, I'd like to take back my statement, Director.
They smiled from the corner of their lips.
Academy Director: What about it?
Sam swallows: I made up that story to make myself interesting.
Academy Director: So you admit that you lied about the whole thing?
Sam tried to be as determined as possible: Yes, Director.
The Director nodded toward the General.
General coldly and in one breath: Cadet Carter, as far as I'm concerned, you've demonstrated your inability to serve in the United States Air Force. The board has decided to give you one last chance. I will not ask for your dismissal, but you should know that you will suffer the consequences of your lies and will be furloughed for 8 months with a warning, until your behavior is re-evaluated.
Nothing mattered anymore, no matter how many lies came out of her mouth from now on: She was going to see the stars.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Academy Director: We expect absolute discretion or there will be repercussions. Do you understand?
Sam: Yes, Director. I apologize.
General stood up and added to the group: Very well. (to Sam) Keep up, Cadet.
Sam nodded and gave a military salute: Yes, sir.
Echo:
*your age*
*excuse me / I apologize*
*you can leave. / I... I don't want to leave, General-*
*responsible*
*Y-You don't believe me? /believe me.*
*I think / you think*
*you're the one who wants to be interesting? / I made up that story to make myself interesting.*
* We have the opportunity / here aren't many more opportunities*
*lie / lied*
*stars / space / a glimmer / sparkle*
*a career / it's your career you're putting on the line*
*Remember in chapter 2 at their father's funeral, Mark says to his sister "You know you turn men's heads (he looked her up and down and judged her uniform apparently inappropriate) and you take advantage of it." Here, so long before, Director said to her " Let's just say you don't go unnoticed. (he looked her up and down in her uniform)"*
Notes:
*Mythomania is classified as a symptom of hysteria, which is an extremely sexist invention. I invite you to read up on these subjects. Here I wanted to explain a possible cause of all the lies of Carter's character. We don't lie without a reason.*
*The answers given by the disciplinary board here are an inspiration of all the victim-blaming phrases that are regularly said to them. Not receiving this kind of sentence is extremely rare, even today*
CW: *suicide* *death mention* *rape mention* *torture mention* *kidnapping mention*
Sam whispered: I cut my hair that night.
Jack in shock: Are these... Are these people still working?
Sam shook her head: Retired. (She tilted her head) Or dead. The others don't know what happened.
Jack: We have to do something about it.
Sam: It—it's history. It's over. It happened. We can't change it.
Jack frowned: This is not right.
Sam looked at the stars: The Army is a big family, you know? As soon as you start pointing out the problems, there's no one left.
Jack: No one can let this go.
Sam turned her head toward him and spoke quickly: I used to cry in the corridors of the Academy. Sometimes in class.
Jack raised his eyebrows: Nobody said anything?
Sam: Do I need to remind you again of your behavior with me in the corridors of the base when Daniel disappeared? (he froze) No. People don't like to show their emotions, do they? It hardened me, I guess. And anyway, nobody talked to me, I was the nerdy one who didn't know how to have fun, always working. (she paused) You come into this system, you're new, you don't know who to trust, you don't know who to ask for help. They make you feel like you don't belong in the Air Force anyway, because it's only been 10 years since women were finally allowed to join. (She continued with emphasis) And that moment in my life when I was in front of those four men, everything went into slow motion. My brain was working at 100%. I understood everything.
Jack: Understood what?
Sam: They were worried about what they were going to have to do, they paid no attention to me. They didn't ask me how it happened or what was said, nor did they care about the rapes he continued to do to me after that day with impunity. I didn't know what to do. (she looked up at the sky again) So I clung to my dream. Forgetting my own life. Focusing only on that goal. (she closed her eyes) I took it. I took it all in. And I was the first one to sign up as a volunteer for the Abydos suicide mission.
Jack frowned: What?
Sam: I think they punished me, I didn't get in. (she frowned) Or bad return on investment, maybe?
Jack: "Suicide"?
Sam winced to admit that Daniel had told her about it: You accepted it for that reason.
Jack: No, no, I know about me, but... I never thought that you would... ever... wanna…
Sam looked at the stars again: Hmm. The Catholic Church condemns suicide, you know. I don't think I would have done it on my own.
Silence.
Jack hesitated: But... How... (he swallowed) What made you change your mind?
Sam shrugged and looked at him: I guess it was the same for you. (he looked at him and Sam's face lit up) Hope?
Jack tilted his head: Cliché.
Sam smiled broadly and added more softly: After our first mission, those thousands of other worlds to visit, I thought I'd give it a few more months. Maybe... somewhere else... There was hope. (She winced slightly) The desired result was not there with the new enemies, but the day when something really changed, it was... (Tears welled up inside her) The day I met Cassandra. That child. Alone. Abandoned on this planet, with no one. (to herself) I saw myself in her.
Jack, quietly: Like me when I saw Charlie again. (He moved his hand quickly) At last my memory.
Sam nodded: Hmm.
Jack swallowed: You both almost died that day.
Sam: You knew me for less than a year and you all stayed. You have no idea what that moment meant to me. (She closed her eyes) And I couldn't lie to her. Not to her. Remember the regrets? We talked about that.
Jack: Hmm?
Sam: They say it's wrong to have them. Actually, I like the idea of having them. It means you want to live.
Jack: I guess...?
Sam: I had no regrets. (she insisted) You had no regrets except dying.
Jack winced: And ya... (he cleared his throat nervously) You have regrets now?
Sam smiled: A lot. (He blew out his nose and was reassured by her answer) You know that there was an investigation into several complaints of sexual abuse in the U.S. Army a few years later?
Jack, a little confused by this sudden return to the subject: No?
Sam: It has been shown that every 3 hours someone is raped in the Air Force. The latest report is over 50 rapes a day. (he closed his eyes) The hardest part is that it's becoming the norm. History repeats itself. Constantly. Continuously. On a loop. It's always the same thing.
She turned her head and waited with a smile for him to open his eyes again. He swallowed when he saw her and wondered how she could smile at a time like this.
Jack, gently: Promise me you'll never force yourself on me.
She nodded. He raised his arm to her and she snuggled up to him.
Sam in a whisper: Thank you.
Jack remembers Bell's words about it being her story: Thank you for telling me.
Sam: You think that's why we haven't been together for years?
Jack, surprised again at the change of subject: What?
Sam: The... The Samantha's you met in the alternate realities did not join the Air Force.
He hadn't thought of that and swallowed. They, they may never have had these traumas. And since they weren't going on missions, they hadn't experienced torture, kidnapping, being on the front lines of a battlefield and other atrocities. He thought about the roads that separate.
Sam thought about her father and Hanson: I should never have gone in.
Jack muttered: For crying of loud... (louder) it's not your fault!
Sam grinned: Sorry.
Jack: I'll keep telling you until you understand it.
She smiled weakly and laid her head against him.
Echo:
*there's no one left. - No one can let this go. no one / with no one. *
*regrets*
*in the corridors*
*suicide*
*hope*
*I understood everything. - Understood what? / until you understand it.*
*We can't change it. / What made you change your mind?*
*It—it's history. / History repeats itself.*
Notes:
*In the first episode, Carter throws herself into the wormhole after entering the code into the GDO when she doesn't know if it works and very calmly tells Daniel that they will be the first to know if it works. At first glance, she seems heroic and brave and they have no choice anyway. Looking back on the scene, her sentence is horribly tragic. I don't like this kind of sentence, putting this behavior and these situations on a pedestal. When you put it in the context of the AF, it sounds very patriotic, not being afraid to sacrifice yourself for your country. When you know that Stargate was sponsored by the AF, you can see it as propaganda, and when you are a young woman watching this show and lacking in non-stereotypical female screen representation, you absorb this kind of behavior as the right thing to do by putting it on your own spectrum, your own life. So no, sacrificing yourself is not a good thing. You shouldn't have to do this.*
*Men were allowed to enter the Air Force Academy in 1955, women in 1976. Sam entered in 1986, 10 years after women could enter. The men had been there for 31 years. This necessarily creates a gap, especially if you think that not taking into account the differences (gender, skin color, etc.) will solve the problems of lack of inclusiveness and the difference in rights between these people*
*"hope" / "control/manipulation", themes I've been dealing with since the beginning of this fanfic... You're starting to understand the title of my fanfic… I hope haha*
*Information: The case of Colonel Russel Williams (source)*
*Photo: Amanda Tapping posted a photo of the University of Maths and Science for Young Women (source)*
*Video: this is what people with suicidal tendencies look like (source)*
Sam whispered: I cut my hair that night.
Jack in shock: Are these... Are these people still working?
Sam shook her head: Retired. (She tilted her head) Or dead. The others don't know what happened.
Jack: We have to do something about it.
Sam: It—it's history. It's over. It happened. We can't change it.
Jack frowned: This is not right.
Sam looked at the stars: The Army is a big family, you know? As soon as you start pointing out the problems, there's no one left.
Jack: No one can let this go.
Sam turned her head toward him and spoke quickly: I used to cry in the corridors of the Academy. Sometimes in class.
Jack raised his eyebrows: Nobody said anything?
Sam: Do I need to remind you again of your behavior with me in the corridors of the base when Daniel disappeared? (he froze) No. People don't like to show their emotions, do they? It hardened me, I guess. And anyway, nobody talked to me, I was the nerdy one who didn't know how to have fun, always working. (she paused) You come into this system, you're new, you don't know who to trust, you don't know who to ask for help. They make you feel like you don't belong in the Air Force anyway, because it's only been 10 years since women were finally allowed to join. (She continued with emphasis) And that moment in my life when I was in front of those four men, everything went into slow motion. My brain was working at 100%. I understood everything.
Jack: Understood what?
Sam: They were worried about what they were going to have to do, they paid no attention to me. They didn't ask me how it happened or what was said, nor did they care about the rapes he continued to do to me after that day with impunity. I didn't know what to do. (she looked up at the sky again) So I clung to my dream. Forgetting my own life. Focusing only on that goal. (she closed her eyes) I took it. I took it all in. And I was the first one to sign up as a volunteer for the Abydos suicide mission.
Jack frowned: What?
Sam: I think they punished me, I didn't get in. (she frowned) Or bad return on investment, maybe?
Jack: "Suicide"?
Sam winced to admit that Daniel had told her about it: You accepted it for that reason.
Jack: No, no, I know about me, but... I never thought that you would... ever... wanna…
Sam looked at the stars again: Hmm. The Catholic Church condemns suicide, you know. I don't think I would have done it on my own.
Silence.
Jack hesitated: But... How... (he swallowed) What made you change your mind?
Sam shrugged and looked at him: I guess it was the same for you. (he looked at him and Sam's face lit up) Hope?
Jack tilted his head: Cliché.
Sam smiled broadly and added more softly: After our first mission, those thousands of other worlds to visit, I thought I'd give it a few more months. Maybe... somewhere else... There was hope. (She winced slightly) The desired result was not there with the new enemies, but the day when something really changed, it was... (Tears welled up inside her) The day I met Cassandra. That child. Alone. Abandoned on this planet, with no one. (to herself) I saw myself in her.
Jack, quietly: Like me when I saw Charlie again. (He moved his hand quickly) At last my memory.
Sam nodded: Hmm.
Jack swallowed: You both almost died that day.
Sam: You knew me for less than a year and you all stayed. You have no idea what that moment meant to me. (She closed her eyes) And I couldn't lie to her. Not to her. Remember the regrets? We talked about that.
Jack: Hmm?
Sam: They say it's wrong to have them. Actually, I like the idea of having them. It means you want to live.
Jack: I guess...?
Sam: I had no regrets. (she insisted) You had no regrets except dying.
Jack winced: And ya... (he cleared his throat nervously) You have regrets now?
Sam smiled: A lot. (He blew out his nose and was reassured by her answer) You know that there was an investigation into several complaints of sexual abuse in the U.S. Army a few years later?
Jack, a little confused by this sudden return to the subject: No?
Sam: It has been shown that every 3 hours someone is raped in the Air Force. The latest report is over 50 rapes a day. (he closed his eyes) The hardest part is that it's becoming the norm. History repeats itself. Constantly. Continuously. On a loop. It's always the same thing.
She turned her head and waited with a smile for him to open his eyes again. He swallowed when he saw her and wondered how she could smile at a time like this.
Jack, gently: Promise me you'll never force yourself on me.
She nodded. He raised his arm to her and she snuggled up to him.
Sam in a whisper: Thank you.
Jack remembers Bell's words about it being her story: Thank you for telling me.
Sam: You think that's why we haven't been together for years?
Jack, surprised again at the change of subject: What?
Sam: The... The Samantha's you met in the alternate realities did not join the Air Force.
He hadn't thought of that and swallowed. They, they may never have had these traumas. And since they weren't going on missions, they hadn't experienced torture, kidnapping, being on the front lines of a battlefield and other atrocities. He thought about the roads that separate.
Sam thought about her father and Hanson: I should never have gone in.
Jack muttered: For crying of loud... (louder) it's not your fault!
Sam grinned: Sorry.
Jack: I'll keep telling you until you understand it.
She smiled weakly and laid her head against him.
Echo:
*there's no one left. - No one can let this go. no one / with no one. *
*regrets*
*in the corridors*
*suicide*
*hope*
*I understood everything. - Understood what? / until you understand it.*
*We can't change it. / What made you change your mind?*
*It—it's history. / History repeats itself.*
Notes:
*In the first episode, Carter throws herself into the wormhole after entering the code into the GDO when she doesn't know if it works and very calmly tells Daniel that they will be the first to know if it works. At first glance, she seems heroic and brave and they have no choice anyway. Looking back on the scene, her sentence is horribly tragic. I don't like this kind of sentence, putting this behavior and these situations on a pedestal. When you put it in the context of the AF, it sounds very patriotic, not being afraid to sacrifice yourself for your country. When you know that Stargate was sponsored by the AF, you can see it as propaganda, and when you are a young woman watching this show and lacking in non-stereotypical female screen representation, you absorb this kind of behavior as the right thing to do by putting it on your own spectrum, your own life. So no, sacrificing yourself is not a good thing. You shouldn't have to do this.*
*Men were allowed to enter the Air Force Academy in 1955, women in 1976. Sam entered in 1986, 10 years after women could enter. The men had been there for 31 years. This necessarily creates a gap, especially if you think that not taking into account the differences (gender, skin color, etc.) will solve the problems of lack of inclusiveness and the difference in rights between these people*
*"hope" / "control/manipulation", themes I've been dealing with since the beginning of this fanfic... You're starting to understand the title of my fanfic… I hope haha*
*Information: The case of Colonel Russel Williams (source)*
*Photo: Amanda Tapping posted a photo of the University of Maths and Science for Young Women (source)*
*Video: this is what people with suicidal tendencies look like (source)*
CW: *referring to physical contact without consent while a person is asleep* *rape culture* *incest*
They heard the door of the cottage open and with an air of understanding, detached themselves from each other. Daniel and Teal'c approached in the darkness.
Daniel: Oh sorry. Are we interrupting something?
Sam and Jack looked down and smiled at the memory: No.
Jack finished his beer: Come and enjoy the show.
They sat down, Daniel supported by Jack's back, Teal'c by Sam's. With the presence of naquadah in their blood, she welcomed the power it had over her to make her feel safe. That feeling was even more powerful when their skins touched. Nevertheless, she could not contain a wave of sadness at the fact that she would no longer feel this way with her father.
Sam, softly: Thanks, guys.
Daniel smiled softly: That's what we do when we're a family.
She turned her head to him and returned his smile. Jack twitched at the word and felt slightly uncomfortable around her.
Teal'c: Indeed. (The group gazed at the infinite in silence for a long moment, then Teal'c whispered) Colonel Carter has dozed off.
Jack looked at her: Unthaw.
Daniel to Jack, with a touch of revenge: Why don't you kiss her?
Jack gave him a jaded look: "Family," huh? (he straightened up) Teal'c, don't move. (he gently hit Daniel to help him carry her instead of talking crap) Come help me.
With the sound of their commotion, she emerged before they were up.
Sam sat up and rubbed her face: Uh sorry. I dozed off.
Jack retrieved his belongings and the plaid: Go to bed, kids.
Echo:
*The Army is a big family, you know? / That's what we do when we're a family. / "Family," huh?*
*Colonel Carter has dozed off. / I dozed off.*
They heard the door of the cottage open and with an air of understanding, detached themselves from each other. Daniel and Teal'c approached in the darkness.
Daniel: Oh sorry. Are we interrupting something?
Sam and Jack looked down and smiled at the memory: No.
Jack finished his beer: Come and enjoy the show.
They sat down, Daniel supported by Jack's back, Teal'c by Sam's. With the presence of naquadah in their blood, she welcomed the power it had over her to make her feel safe. That feeling was even more powerful when their skins touched. Nevertheless, she could not contain a wave of sadness at the fact that she would no longer feel this way with her father.
Sam, softly: Thanks, guys.
Daniel smiled softly: That's what we do when we're a family.
She turned her head to him and returned his smile. Jack twitched at the word and felt slightly uncomfortable around her.
Teal'c: Indeed. (The group gazed at the infinite in silence for a long moment, then Teal'c whispered) Colonel Carter has dozed off.
Jack looked at her: Unthaw.
Daniel to Jack, with a touch of revenge: Why don't you kiss her?
Jack gave him a jaded look: "Family," huh? (he straightened up) Teal'c, don't move. (he gently hit Daniel to help him carry her instead of talking crap) Come help me.
With the sound of their commotion, she emerged before they were up.
Sam sat up and rubbed her face: Uh sorry. I dozed off.
Jack retrieved his belongings and the plaid: Go to bed, kids.
Echo:
*The Army is a big family, you know? / That's what we do when we're a family. / "Family," huh?*
*Colonel Carter has dozed off. / I dozed off.*
CW: *mention of sexual relations* *mention of sexual trauma* *Haphephobia*
Jack opened his eyes with difficulty: Hi.
Sam smiled: Hi.
Her hand snaked through his graying fleece, she straightened and placed her lips on his chest in various places. He filled his lungs with a great breath of air and she titillated his nipple with her tongue. He moaned and stroked her hair.
Jack sighed: Wake me up every morning like this. (they smiled at each other for a moment. A troubled look came over the man's face and she questioned him with her eyes. He hesitated) I'm gonna be insistent, but... Don't force yourself on me. (He insisted) Never.
Sam nodded and hesitated: Don't touch me when I'm sleeping. Even a hug. (He questioned her with his eyes) I don't mind falling asleep with a touch, but it wakes me up suddenly otherwise. (she winced) My body goes tense, I don't know why.
Jack, quietly: Yeah, I noticed. (she swallowed and looked at him fearfully) You have a complicated awakening. (she looked away, uncomfortable. He looked for a way to relax her) It's not a problem with. (he tilted his head) Wake me up if it's not okay in the middle of the night.
Sam, quietly: Okay.
Jack insisted: Even if you want more than a hug.
Sam giggles: I got it.
Jack insisted again: All-you-can-eat buffet. (she smiled broadly and kissed him to shut him up. They looked at each other, he smiled at her but perceived that she still seemed nervous and whispered) What?
Sam swallowed: Just don't ever ask me to... (she grimaced) This has nothing to do with what I told you last night but... (he insisted on his silent questioning) Ok, well. (she looked away) Let's say...
She glanced at his lower abdomen to make him understand.
Jack quickly: I get it. (she continued to avoid his gaze, nervously) Never do it.
Sam grinned: But you do it a lot and-
Jack insisted again: Never.
She nodded and he stroked her hair again. She snuggled even closer to him, reassured. Jack's eyes widened in shock. He looked at the ceiling for a long time, tried to swallow his nausea and not to satisfy his curiosity as to whether it was trauma or just sexual preference.
Echo:
*a hug *
* I got it. / I get it. *
*awakening / Wake me up*
*Never (x2)*
Notes:
*Haphephobia, the fear of being touched, is a post-traumatic stress disorder in sexual violence*
*Quote: "Sexual violence is not (only) assault by strangers. It starts with all the times we have sex when we don't want to. Because we haven't learned how important our pleasure is. Taboo benefits the predator. The less taboo sexuality is, the more we know our desire is important The safer we are in our sexuality." Lyvia Cairo (source)*
*Illustration: Don’t feel bad for setting boundaries (source)*
Jack opened his eyes with difficulty: Hi.
Sam smiled: Hi.
Her hand snaked through his graying fleece, she straightened and placed her lips on his chest in various places. He filled his lungs with a great breath of air and she titillated his nipple with her tongue. He moaned and stroked her hair.
Jack sighed: Wake me up every morning like this. (they smiled at each other for a moment. A troubled look came over the man's face and she questioned him with her eyes. He hesitated) I'm gonna be insistent, but... Don't force yourself on me. (He insisted) Never.
Sam nodded and hesitated: Don't touch me when I'm sleeping. Even a hug. (He questioned her with his eyes) I don't mind falling asleep with a touch, but it wakes me up suddenly otherwise. (she winced) My body goes tense, I don't know why.
Jack, quietly: Yeah, I noticed. (she swallowed and looked at him fearfully) You have a complicated awakening. (she looked away, uncomfortable. He looked for a way to relax her) It's not a problem with. (he tilted his head) Wake me up if it's not okay in the middle of the night.
Sam, quietly: Okay.
Jack insisted: Even if you want more than a hug.
Sam giggles: I got it.
Jack insisted again: All-you-can-eat buffet. (she smiled broadly and kissed him to shut him up. They looked at each other, he smiled at her but perceived that she still seemed nervous and whispered) What?
Sam swallowed: Just don't ever ask me to... (she grimaced) This has nothing to do with what I told you last night but... (he insisted on his silent questioning) Ok, well. (she looked away) Let's say...
She glanced at his lower abdomen to make him understand.
Jack quickly: I get it. (she continued to avoid his gaze, nervously) Never do it.
Sam grinned: But you do it a lot and-
Jack insisted again: Never.
She nodded and he stroked her hair again. She snuggled even closer to him, reassured. Jack's eyes widened in shock. He looked at the ceiling for a long time, tried to swallow his nausea and not to satisfy his curiosity as to whether it was trauma or just sexual preference.
Echo:
*a hug *
* I got it. / I get it. *
*awakening / Wake me up*
*Never (x2)*
Notes:
*Haphephobia, the fear of being touched, is a post-traumatic stress disorder in sexual violence*
*Quote: "Sexual violence is not (only) assault by strangers. It starts with all the times we have sex when we don't want to. Because we haven't learned how important our pleasure is. Taboo benefits the predator. The less taboo sexuality is, the more we know our desire is important The safer we are in our sexuality." Lyvia Cairo (source)*
*Illustration: Don’t feel bad for setting boundaries (source)*
TW: *sexually explicit content* *Vaginismus* *trauma recall*
CW: *psychophobia* *referring to harassment and violence* *aggression* *referring to bodily fluids* *referring to genitalia* *alcohol mention*
Although the storm was over, the rain poured endlessly on Colorado Springs and the heat was still in the air. The Broadmoor is a huge resort offering a variety of services, in the heart of the Rockies, not far from Cheyenne Mountain.
In her volvo in the parking lot across from the extremely spacious and flamboyant entrance, she watched for his return, thumbnail in her mouth, nervous. What was he up to? The entire setting clashed with the Jack O'neill she knew.
The already soaked man stuffed a pack of hotel advertising matches and the room keys into his pocket and pushed open the front doors. She then got out of her car before he reached the passenger door handle.
Jack, surprised: Stay inside. We'll drive there.
Sam: You want to ruin my seats?
Jack walked to his car: Mine then.
Sam: How far is the room?
Jack was getting tired of being in the rain: 20 minutes walk.
Sam: What about the meal?
Jack rolled his eyes for a split second: Delivered but cold by then. (she took a few seconds to think, he raised his eyebrows and squirmed) When you want to decide. No hurry. (She's still thinking and he gets impatient) 'want me dead, Carter?
Sam: Let's walk.
Jack froze: What?
Sam shrugged and locked his car: You're soaking wet and I'm getting wet.
Jack tilted his head: Surprising.
Sam looked at him falsely, then pretended to be impatient: Anytime, sir.
He blew his nose and they left in the direction of the room. Since they were alone in the pouring rain and the path was lit only by street lamps, he brushed her hand with his and she accepted his proposal.
Sam: So. Why this place?
Jack: Oh. I just looked on the internet for hotels in the neighborhood.
Sam: And you picked the most expensive one?
Jack: "Colorado Springs cottage".
Sam raised her eyebrows: "cottage"?
Jack tilted his head: I've already said too much.
Sam: You don’t want to rain on your parade, hu?
Jack smiled: We came here with Sara and Charlie years ago. During the day. No rain. (She questioned him with a stunned look, and he moved his hand in one direction) There's a zoo down the road.
Sam's face broke down at the memory of his lie to Pete. Not hearing her answer, he turned his head toward her. She quickly recovered and smiled at him as if nothing had happened. He frowned slightly and suspected her of being jealous of his ex-wife. He swallowed and raised his hand and came to position himself in front of her.
Sam, even more puzzled: Are you dancing?
Jack put her hand on his shoulder: I don't sing.
He hugged her and they began to slow dance against each other.
Sam smiled at the memory of her discussion with Pete: What, you prefer Fred Astaire?
Jack looked at her, puzzled in his turn: Hm?
Damn, she thought, now she was going to have to justify herself. She closed her eyes. It had nothing to do with "Singin' in the Rain", he was just making a running gag about playing guitar. She cursed herself for always thinking about Pete, especially at a time like this.
Jack frowned: Isn't that Gene Kelly?
Sam: Yes, it is.
Jack: Oh. Are you referring to his rescue from the movie? (she questioned him with her eyes) MGM had forced Debbie Reynolds on Gene Kelly, he was giving her a hard time. She went crazy and ran off the set. Fred Astaire who was shooting another film for MGM then consoled him.
She widened her eyes and finally understood Pete's words. He's a cop, so it made sense with his need to save people in distress. He questioned her with his eyes, but she remained silent again.
Jack suspected she was hiding something again: Did you see that movie?
Sam nodded her head: I love it.
Jack wondered if she was lying, stunned by her behavior: Carter?
Sam: Nothing. Sorry.
Jack tried to lighten the mood: So you like everything old? (she stared at him, he tilted his head) I think this movie came out the same year I was born.
She tilted her head and smiled ironically at this affront, he turned her gently. A wide smile split her face, she closed her eyes and raised her head to feel the rain as much as possible. He observed the water dripping from her hair, sliding along her lips, her neck, her chest... He took her back in his arms to regain control of his reverie.
Sam opened her eyes and stared at him: I like your beard.
Jack, quietly: Too bad it's against regulation.
She lowered her gaze, intimidated by his scrutiny of her face. He winced slightly and wondered if he hadn't just reminded her of her trauma at having cut her hair after her confrontation with the Academy's teaching staff. He pressed his hand lightly to her back. She looked up at him and he questioned her with his eyes, a little worried.
Sam smiled slightly and hesitated: I... I didn't know you were so...
Jack: Romantic?
Sam nodded: Cliché.
Jack: You're the one who wanted to walk there.
Sam raised an eyebrow: You're the one who wanted to dance in the rain.
Jack: Don't you like it?
Sam: This is... New.
Jack repeated: Don't you like it?
Sam: I just feel stupid. (he looked at her) I'm more comfortable...
Jack: Dry?
Sam dodged a smile: On the battlefield. (he approved the argument. She murmured, intimidated) But... That's great. (He turned her around to continue the cliché. Sam, at first surprised, giggled, he gently lifted her up and they looked at each other again. She shook her head, amused) How many women have you had like that?
He frowned at this persistent memory. She questioned him with her eyes, surprised by his change of expression. He smiled gently to reassure her. She rested her head on his shoulder and frowned, wondering what he was hiding from her and worrying about all the secrets they both carried.
Jack broke away from her, softly: Let's go.
CW: *psychophobia* *referring to harassment and violence* *aggression* *referring to bodily fluids* *referring to genitalia* *alcohol mention*
Although the storm was over, the rain poured endlessly on Colorado Springs and the heat was still in the air. The Broadmoor is a huge resort offering a variety of services, in the heart of the Rockies, not far from Cheyenne Mountain.
In her volvo in the parking lot across from the extremely spacious and flamboyant entrance, she watched for his return, thumbnail in her mouth, nervous. What was he up to? The entire setting clashed with the Jack O'neill she knew.
The already soaked man stuffed a pack of hotel advertising matches and the room keys into his pocket and pushed open the front doors. She then got out of her car before he reached the passenger door handle.
Jack, surprised: Stay inside. We'll drive there.
Sam: You want to ruin my seats?
Jack walked to his car: Mine then.
Sam: How far is the room?
Jack was getting tired of being in the rain: 20 minutes walk.
Sam: What about the meal?
Jack rolled his eyes for a split second: Delivered but cold by then. (she took a few seconds to think, he raised his eyebrows and squirmed) When you want to decide. No hurry. (She's still thinking and he gets impatient) 'want me dead, Carter?
Sam: Let's walk.
Jack froze: What?
Sam shrugged and locked his car: You're soaking wet and I'm getting wet.
Jack tilted his head: Surprising.
Sam looked at him falsely, then pretended to be impatient: Anytime, sir.
He blew his nose and they left in the direction of the room. Since they were alone in the pouring rain and the path was lit only by street lamps, he brushed her hand with his and she accepted his proposal.
Sam: So. Why this place?
Jack: Oh. I just looked on the internet for hotels in the neighborhood.
Sam: And you picked the most expensive one?
Jack: "Colorado Springs cottage".
Sam raised her eyebrows: "cottage"?
Jack tilted his head: I've already said too much.
Sam: You don’t want to rain on your parade, hu?
Jack smiled: We came here with Sara and Charlie years ago. During the day. No rain. (She questioned him with a stunned look, and he moved his hand in one direction) There's a zoo down the road.
Sam's face broke down at the memory of his lie to Pete. Not hearing her answer, he turned his head toward her. She quickly recovered and smiled at him as if nothing had happened. He frowned slightly and suspected her of being jealous of his ex-wife. He swallowed and raised his hand and came to position himself in front of her.
Sam, even more puzzled: Are you dancing?
Jack put her hand on his shoulder: I don't sing.
He hugged her and they began to slow dance against each other.
Sam smiled at the memory of her discussion with Pete: What, you prefer Fred Astaire?
Jack looked at her, puzzled in his turn: Hm?
Damn, she thought, now she was going to have to justify herself. She closed her eyes. It had nothing to do with "Singin' in the Rain", he was just making a running gag about playing guitar. She cursed herself for always thinking about Pete, especially at a time like this.
Jack frowned: Isn't that Gene Kelly?
Sam: Yes, it is.
Jack: Oh. Are you referring to his rescue from the movie? (she questioned him with her eyes) MGM had forced Debbie Reynolds on Gene Kelly, he was giving her a hard time. She went crazy and ran off the set. Fred Astaire who was shooting another film for MGM then consoled him.
She widened her eyes and finally understood Pete's words. He's a cop, so it made sense with his need to save people in distress. He questioned her with his eyes, but she remained silent again.
Jack suspected she was hiding something again: Did you see that movie?
Sam nodded her head: I love it.
Jack wondered if she was lying, stunned by her behavior: Carter?
Sam: Nothing. Sorry.
Jack tried to lighten the mood: So you like everything old? (she stared at him, he tilted his head) I think this movie came out the same year I was born.
She tilted her head and smiled ironically at this affront, he turned her gently. A wide smile split her face, she closed her eyes and raised her head to feel the rain as much as possible. He observed the water dripping from her hair, sliding along her lips, her neck, her chest... He took her back in his arms to regain control of his reverie.
Sam opened her eyes and stared at him: I like your beard.
Jack, quietly: Too bad it's against regulation.
She lowered her gaze, intimidated by his scrutiny of her face. He winced slightly and wondered if he hadn't just reminded her of her trauma at having cut her hair after her confrontation with the Academy's teaching staff. He pressed his hand lightly to her back. She looked up at him and he questioned her with his eyes, a little worried.
Sam smiled slightly and hesitated: I... I didn't know you were so...
Jack: Romantic?
Sam nodded: Cliché.
Jack: You're the one who wanted to walk there.
Sam raised an eyebrow: You're the one who wanted to dance in the rain.
Jack: Don't you like it?
Sam: This is... New.
Jack repeated: Don't you like it?
Sam: I just feel stupid. (he looked at her) I'm more comfortable...
Jack: Dry?
Sam dodged a smile: On the battlefield. (he approved the argument. She murmured, intimidated) But... That's great. (He turned her around to continue the cliché. Sam, at first surprised, giggled, he gently lifted her up and they looked at each other again. She shook her head, amused) How many women have you had like that?
He frowned at this persistent memory. She questioned him with her eyes, surprised by his change of expression. He smiled gently to reassure her. She rested her head on his shoulder and frowned, wondering what he was hiding from her and worrying about all the secrets they both carried.
Jack broke away from her, softly: Let's go.
*
When they arrived at the entrance, he hesitated to push the door open.
Sam: What?
Jack, uncomfortable: Eurh.
Sam squinted at him: What?
Jack grimaced: It's just that... Eurh. (he rolled his eyes and muttered) Oh for crying out loud.
He opened the door. The cottage consisted of a bedroom with a double bed, a bathroom and a small sitting area. The fireplace was lit, and above all... Red rose petals were scattered on the floor and the bed.
Sam tried hard not to laugh: Oh my God.
Jack begged her while trying to keep a straight face: No don't... Stop it. Please.
Sam looked at the room in more detail: This is...
Jack sarcastically: Cliché.
Sam turned to him: Lovely. Thank you.
Jack insisted: You're making me even stupider than usual.
Sam shook her head: You're not stupid.
After removing their waterlogged shoes, socks and jackets, they went inside.
Jack reached for her things: Give. I'm gonna hang it. (She gave them to him and he walked towards the fire. The petals instantly stuck to his feet and he muttered) What a crappy idea.
Sam took off her top: It's okay.
He placed the clothes on the back of the chairs and positioned them in front of the fireplace.
He turned his head toward her as he heard Sam's belt buckle come undone. In her bra, she removed her sticky jeans with difficulty and restrained herself from laughing at the petals clinging to her feet. She settled the jeans on another chair and stared at the man staring at her, motionless. He emerged from his reverie, shook his head and imitated her. She continued her undressing and took off her underwear. He imitated her again but grimaced slightly by cursing himself to have a penis and she had difficulty to restrain herself from smiling by understanding his attitude: he had an erection.
Jack, seeing her expression: Stop it.
She smiled more, approached him and kissed him. He felt himself liquefy and it didn't help his business when she put her hands on his waist.
Jack tried to keep control: We should dry off, we'll catch a cold.
Sam licked his neck to catch the remaining rainwater: We should.
Jack closed his eyes and insisted: Dry off. Not "Drink".
She smiled again, kept her hands on his waist and moved back to the bed. He followed her and came to lie on her. The petals stuck to their skins and he grunted. She giggled and he shook his head to get the last drops of his hair to fall out in revenge. She caressed his back and shoulders and he felt his erection increase. He trapped her mouth with his, then moved down to her neck and breasts. He encompassed one of her nipples and she moaned with pleasure. Her skin covered with goosebumps was burning. He pulled on her breast between his lips and she squirmed.
Sam begged: Sir...
Jack blew his nose and glanced at her: "Sir"?
Sam grinned: Hu.
She turned her head towards the bedside table and he guessed her thoughts
Jack stood up: I got it.
He searched in his soaked jacket, returned, restraining himself from railing against the flowers again and she resumed her licks on his body during the installation of the condom. It entered slowly in her, they tightened under the pleasure and kissed themselves ardently. She pressed her hips against his basin to invite him to accelerate his movements. The wetness left by the rain confused them with their sweats. She saw a bright red petal on the man's shoulder and frowned slightly as she thought of Pete at a time like this. She quietly removed it and tried to refocus. She caressed his skull with her nails and pushed deeper her tongue, making it dance with his own to chase away her discomfort. He moaned of pleasure and almost lost his control. He slowed down his movements to calm the game but had to finish by immobilizing himself completely. He frowned, moved away from the kiss and looked at her.
Jack in a whisper: You all right?
Sam, puzzled that he stopped: Yeah?
Jack, softly: Am I hurting ya?
Sam: No. Why? (He strokes her chin with a finger. They smiled at each other but she saw the confusion on his face) Would you stop?
Jack, a little embarrassed: Errrh. No.
Sam quietly: Why do you- (she perked up) Oh. Did you... uhh?
Jack: No, no. (he winced) Let's just say... The situation is blocked?
Sam frowned: What?
Jack: You're contracting a little too much.
Sam: What?
Jack: I'm stuck at the entrance. (He saw her anxiety spike when she realized he couldn't get in) It's okay.
He removed the condom, came to rest beside her and she hid under the comforter immediately.
Sam murmured uncomfortably: Sorry. (she exclaimed, furious with herself) What the hell is wrong with me?
Jack: Hey! (lowered) It's okay. We'll just... wait. (she looked away and he took on a nonchalant voice) So... Do you come to the neighborhood often?
Sam laughed and closed her eyes: My God. I'm sorry.
Jack: Hey. You know it's St. Patrick's Day in a few hours?
Sam: Well... we've only had water on the menu for now.
Jack smiled: I can order.
Sam nodded: Maybe not for now.
Jack: Well... we still have a few hours. (He continued lower) Has this happened to you before?
Sam shook her head: You?
Jack: No.
Sam, a touch of irony in her voice: What a novelty.
Jack buried his head in Sam's neck to keep from laughing: So romantic.
Sam: How about... memorable?
He chuckled and then pulled himself together and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. She gave him a look between amusement and skepticism.
Jack took a falsely defensive tone: It's not on the forehead. (she giggled in her turn then took back and looked away, intimidated by his own look on her. He ticked and added lower) What?
Sam swallowed: I don't know if I like romance. (he questioned her with his eyes) All these movies, books... We are told that this is love. We wait for Prince Charming all our lives with glitter in our heads but... (she stopped. He swallowed and she winced, uncomfortable) Pete was extremely romantic because... 'cause I thought that's what I liked.
Jack stared at her: And?
Sam looked away, nervous: Even though it was great, I felt like I was playing a role. And maybe the fact that I told him that's what I liked, he started to play that role. For me. (she lost herself in thought for a few seconds) Actually... I've always felt like I was playing a role my whole life.
Jack: ‘cause of the secret of the Gate?
Sam: I... I don't know.
Jack: What do you like?
Sam hesitated, and then lowered her voice nervously: I don't know.
Jack stared at her: Let's work on that. (she scanned his face then nodded, intimidated again) You okay? (she nodded and kissed him shyly. She resumed caressing his body) We can just eat if-
She kissed him again and he forgot what he was saying. She placed kisses on his shoulder and on his neck. He groaned, straightened up and went back the way he had come. She shivered at the contact of his beard on her belly and clutched her hair when he began to lick her intimacy. He questioned her with his eyes and she pressed her fingers to his skull to encourage him to continue.
Sam murmured: I like that.
He smiled and resumed the exercise. She moaned more and more and raised her legs without realizing it. He helped her and came to maintain her thighs in the air. She emitted a cry of delight when he planted his nails in her flesh and sucked greedily her clitoris. It continued thus a few moments and she felt the pleasure submerging her.
Sam tilted her head back and arched her back: Fuck... Jack!
She flinched a few times, he lowered her thighs and moved up to her face and discreetly wiped her mouth.
Jack kissed her neck: I don't sting too much?
Sam: Extremely. (they smiled at each other. She slid her hand down his belly) Do you want to continue or...?
Jack shook his head slightly: My knees hurt. The rain.
Sam, mischievous: That can be arranged.
Jack: Tired. And I have a bit of a headache. (She nodded and he stroked her hair) We really need to slow down.
Sam: ‘cause you "like to take yout time for some things"?
Jack smiled at this reminder and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear: I'm not kidding. (she looked away and felt guilty for having caused this blockage. He perceived her discomfort) So... I order drinks?
She smiled nervously and nodded.
Echo:
*You're soaking wet and I'm getting wet / rain / He felt himself liquefy / The wetness left by the rain confused them with their sweats / water / etc*
*20 minutes walk. / Let's walk. You're the one who wanted to walk there*
*in the neighborhood. / So... Do you come to the neighborhood often?*
*cottage*
*Romantic? / if I like romance. /Pete was extremely romantic / So romantic*
*cliché*
*Stop it(x2) / Would you stop?*
*This is... New. / What a novelty.*
*I just feel stupid. / You're making me even stupider than usual. - You're not stupid. *
*Stop it / Do you want to stop / Do you want to continue or...?*
*But... It's great. / Even though it was great*
*Don't you like it?(x2)/ I told him that's what I liked / 'cause I thought that's what I liked. / What do you like? / I like that. / ‘cause you "like to take yout time for some things"?*
*We should (...) - We should*
*”in a few hours”: You know it's St. Patrick's Day in a few hours? / We still have a few hours*
*for now*
*Well...*
*Am I hurting ya?/ My knees hurt*
*playing a role. / to play that role. / playing a role my whole life*
* I... I don't know. / I don't know*
*I can order. / So... I order drinks?*
Notes:
*In chapter 2, it says that Jack "felt guilty for not having gone to the florist or something like that" before he joined her*
*MGM is the production company for Stargate. That's why there was a nod to the movie "Singin' in the Rain" in the series. Remember, I already made a nod to Gene Kelly and MGM in a previous paragraph*.
*In flower language, the red rose is the emblem of intense love, it is associated with Venus in the Romans and Aphrodite in the Greeks. They symbolize passion, and clearly invite eroticism*
*This paragraph starts with Jack telling her "No hurry" and ends with Jack telling her to slow down*
*Article: Why does it rain heavily in movies? (source)*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
Sam: What?
Jack, uncomfortable: Eurh.
Sam squinted at him: What?
Jack grimaced: It's just that... Eurh. (he rolled his eyes and muttered) Oh for crying out loud.
He opened the door. The cottage consisted of a bedroom with a double bed, a bathroom and a small sitting area. The fireplace was lit, and above all... Red rose petals were scattered on the floor and the bed.
Sam tried hard not to laugh: Oh my God.
Jack begged her while trying to keep a straight face: No don't... Stop it. Please.
Sam looked at the room in more detail: This is...
Jack sarcastically: Cliché.
Sam turned to him: Lovely. Thank you.
Jack insisted: You're making me even stupider than usual.
Sam shook her head: You're not stupid.
After removing their waterlogged shoes, socks and jackets, they went inside.
Jack reached for her things: Give. I'm gonna hang it. (She gave them to him and he walked towards the fire. The petals instantly stuck to his feet and he muttered) What a crappy idea.
Sam took off her top: It's okay.
He placed the clothes on the back of the chairs and positioned them in front of the fireplace.
He turned his head toward her as he heard Sam's belt buckle come undone. In her bra, she removed her sticky jeans with difficulty and restrained herself from laughing at the petals clinging to her feet. She settled the jeans on another chair and stared at the man staring at her, motionless. He emerged from his reverie, shook his head and imitated her. She continued her undressing and took off her underwear. He imitated her again but grimaced slightly by cursing himself to have a penis and she had difficulty to restrain herself from smiling by understanding his attitude: he had an erection.
Jack, seeing her expression: Stop it.
She smiled more, approached him and kissed him. He felt himself liquefy and it didn't help his business when she put her hands on his waist.
Jack tried to keep control: We should dry off, we'll catch a cold.
Sam licked his neck to catch the remaining rainwater: We should.
Jack closed his eyes and insisted: Dry off. Not "Drink".
She smiled again, kept her hands on his waist and moved back to the bed. He followed her and came to lie on her. The petals stuck to their skins and he grunted. She giggled and he shook his head to get the last drops of his hair to fall out in revenge. She caressed his back and shoulders and he felt his erection increase. He trapped her mouth with his, then moved down to her neck and breasts. He encompassed one of her nipples and she moaned with pleasure. Her skin covered with goosebumps was burning. He pulled on her breast between his lips and she squirmed.
Sam begged: Sir...
Jack blew his nose and glanced at her: "Sir"?
Sam grinned: Hu.
She turned her head towards the bedside table and he guessed her thoughts
Jack stood up: I got it.
He searched in his soaked jacket, returned, restraining himself from railing against the flowers again and she resumed her licks on his body during the installation of the condom. It entered slowly in her, they tightened under the pleasure and kissed themselves ardently. She pressed her hips against his basin to invite him to accelerate his movements. The wetness left by the rain confused them with their sweats. She saw a bright red petal on the man's shoulder and frowned slightly as she thought of Pete at a time like this. She quietly removed it and tried to refocus. She caressed his skull with her nails and pushed deeper her tongue, making it dance with his own to chase away her discomfort. He moaned of pleasure and almost lost his control. He slowed down his movements to calm the game but had to finish by immobilizing himself completely. He frowned, moved away from the kiss and looked at her.
Jack in a whisper: You all right?
Sam, puzzled that he stopped: Yeah?
Jack, softly: Am I hurting ya?
Sam: No. Why? (He strokes her chin with a finger. They smiled at each other but she saw the confusion on his face) Would you stop?
Jack, a little embarrassed: Errrh. No.
Sam quietly: Why do you- (she perked up) Oh. Did you... uhh?
Jack: No, no. (he winced) Let's just say... The situation is blocked?
Sam frowned: What?
Jack: You're contracting a little too much.
Sam: What?
Jack: I'm stuck at the entrance. (He saw her anxiety spike when she realized he couldn't get in) It's okay.
He removed the condom, came to rest beside her and she hid under the comforter immediately.
Sam murmured uncomfortably: Sorry. (she exclaimed, furious with herself) What the hell is wrong with me?
Jack: Hey! (lowered) It's okay. We'll just... wait. (she looked away and he took on a nonchalant voice) So... Do you come to the neighborhood often?
Sam laughed and closed her eyes: My God. I'm sorry.
Jack: Hey. You know it's St. Patrick's Day in a few hours?
Sam: Well... we've only had water on the menu for now.
Jack smiled: I can order.
Sam nodded: Maybe not for now.
Jack: Well... we still have a few hours. (He continued lower) Has this happened to you before?
Sam shook her head: You?
Jack: No.
Sam, a touch of irony in her voice: What a novelty.
Jack buried his head in Sam's neck to keep from laughing: So romantic.
Sam: How about... memorable?
He chuckled and then pulled himself together and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. She gave him a look between amusement and skepticism.
Jack took a falsely defensive tone: It's not on the forehead. (she giggled in her turn then took back and looked away, intimidated by his own look on her. He ticked and added lower) What?
Sam swallowed: I don't know if I like romance. (he questioned her with his eyes) All these movies, books... We are told that this is love. We wait for Prince Charming all our lives with glitter in our heads but... (she stopped. He swallowed and she winced, uncomfortable) Pete was extremely romantic because... 'cause I thought that's what I liked.
Jack stared at her: And?
Sam looked away, nervous: Even though it was great, I felt like I was playing a role. And maybe the fact that I told him that's what I liked, he started to play that role. For me. (she lost herself in thought for a few seconds) Actually... I've always felt like I was playing a role my whole life.
Jack: ‘cause of the secret of the Gate?
Sam: I... I don't know.
Jack: What do you like?
Sam hesitated, and then lowered her voice nervously: I don't know.
Jack stared at her: Let's work on that. (she scanned his face then nodded, intimidated again) You okay? (she nodded and kissed him shyly. She resumed caressing his body) We can just eat if-
She kissed him again and he forgot what he was saying. She placed kisses on his shoulder and on his neck. He groaned, straightened up and went back the way he had come. She shivered at the contact of his beard on her belly and clutched her hair when he began to lick her intimacy. He questioned her with his eyes and she pressed her fingers to his skull to encourage him to continue.
Sam murmured: I like that.
He smiled and resumed the exercise. She moaned more and more and raised her legs without realizing it. He helped her and came to maintain her thighs in the air. She emitted a cry of delight when he planted his nails in her flesh and sucked greedily her clitoris. It continued thus a few moments and she felt the pleasure submerging her.
Sam tilted her head back and arched her back: Fuck... Jack!
She flinched a few times, he lowered her thighs and moved up to her face and discreetly wiped her mouth.
Jack kissed her neck: I don't sting too much?
Sam: Extremely. (they smiled at each other. She slid her hand down his belly) Do you want to continue or...?
Jack shook his head slightly: My knees hurt. The rain.
Sam, mischievous: That can be arranged.
Jack: Tired. And I have a bit of a headache. (She nodded and he stroked her hair) We really need to slow down.
Sam: ‘cause you "like to take yout time for some things"?
Jack smiled at this reminder and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear: I'm not kidding. (she looked away and felt guilty for having caused this blockage. He perceived her discomfort) So... I order drinks?
She smiled nervously and nodded.
Echo:
*You're soaking wet and I'm getting wet / rain / He felt himself liquefy / The wetness left by the rain confused them with their sweats / water / etc*
*20 minutes walk. / Let's walk. You're the one who wanted to walk there*
*in the neighborhood. / So... Do you come to the neighborhood often?*
*cottage*
*Romantic? / if I like romance. /Pete was extremely romantic / So romantic*
*cliché*
*Stop it(x2) / Would you stop?*
*This is... New. / What a novelty.*
*I just feel stupid. / You're making me even stupider than usual. - You're not stupid. *
*Stop it / Do you want to stop / Do you want to continue or...?*
*But... It's great. / Even though it was great*
*Don't you like it?(x2)/ I told him that's what I liked / 'cause I thought that's what I liked. / What do you like? / I like that. / ‘cause you "like to take yout time for some things"?*
*We should (...) - We should*
*”in a few hours”: You know it's St. Patrick's Day in a few hours? / We still have a few hours*
*for now*
*Well...*
*Am I hurting ya?/ My knees hurt*
*playing a role. / to play that role. / playing a role my whole life*
* I... I don't know. / I don't know*
*I can order. / So... I order drinks?*
Notes:
*In chapter 2, it says that Jack "felt guilty for not having gone to the florist or something like that" before he joined her*
*MGM is the production company for Stargate. That's why there was a nod to the movie "Singin' in the Rain" in the series. Remember, I already made a nod to Gene Kelly and MGM in a previous paragraph*.
*In flower language, the red rose is the emblem of intense love, it is associated with Venus in the Romans and Aphrodite in the Greeks. They symbolize passion, and clearly invite eroticism*
*This paragraph starts with Jack telling her "No hurry" and ends with Jack telling her to slow down*
*Article: Why does it rain heavily in movies? (source)*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
Walter welcomed Dr. Bell to the surface. The floors scrolled on the small screen: 0...1...2...3....
Bell: Did you know that the automatic opening and closing of elevators like this was invented by a black man?
Walter frowned uncomfortably: No?
10...11. The elevator stopped.
Bell: Alexander Miles. (The doors opened) Now you know. (He remained doubtful at this information and she bit her tongue in an effort to remain stoic) Is this our floor?
The sergeant emerged from his thoughts and invited her down to continue to the second elevator.
Bell: Did you know that the automatic opening and closing of elevators like this was invented by a black man?
Walter frowned uncomfortably: No?
10...11. The elevator stopped.
Bell: Alexander Miles. (The doors opened) Now you know. (He remained doubtful at this information and she bit her tongue in an effort to remain stoic) Is this our floor?
The sergeant emerged from his thoughts and invited her down to continue to the second elevator.
CW: *war mention* *colonialism* *racism* *chemical warfare and trauma*
Walter ushered the Doctor into the office. She was wearing beige pants with a big leather belt and an elegant white blouse.
Bell shook Jack's hand: Well, it's not easy to get to you.
Jack smiled at her and stood up: Thank you Walter.
The man nodded and left. Jack invited the doctor into the briefing room to make herself more comfortable. With the shutter down, she looked around and lingered for a few seconds over the Program's crest on the wall. An alarm sounded and she gasped slightly.
LOUD SPEAKER: Scheduled offworld activation.
Jack invited her to take a seat before she asked any questions: Please.
Bell, curious: I don't know what you're doing here, but I can't tell you how many confidentiality papers I had to sign.
Jack: And that's just the beginning. Welcome to SGC.
Bell: "SGC"?
Jack: Wait until you sign some more papers.
Bell smiled wryly: Okay. (she pulled out a document holder she had prepared and handed him two resumes) My team members. (he began to read) Dr. Alexander Dang is easily adaptable to any situation.
Jack: And he's pretty much into surgery.
Bell agreed: Not by personal choice. He would have preferred to be a geneticist, he ... (she hesitated) He's been fighting for years for justice against the military on Vietnamese soil.
Jack looked up at her in disbelief: Hmm?
Bell: Alexander is very well paid as a surgeon, which allows him to travel regularly to treat people affected by Agent Orange that was spilled by our countrymen. (He looked down at the file) But... He also treats Americans who have been affected by Agent Orange, right here.
Jack frowned: We're talking about the Vietnam War, right? (he looked up from his file) How old did he have to be?
Bell: He was born in Vietnam but came to the U.S. when he was 10. The war was over a year ago. No trace of his family.
Jack grimaced: Sorry.
Bell: Hmm. This agent, the dioxin, gets into the genetic code of the people who were sprayed. The next generations are affected.
Jack nodded: Yeah, I've heard of it. (a little confused) Why would he help us?
Bell insisted: He doesn't hate soldiers. He knows a lot about field-related PTSD. He has developed proven techniques for managing patient crises. He knows this problem very well, (she insisted he understand the implication) I know other problems.
Jack nodded and moved on to the next file: What about Ms. Anang (he was afraid he was wrong) Med... Medwe...ganoonind?
He looked at her shyly to ask if he had misspelled her name.
Bell nodded and swallowed with apprehension: Ms. Medweganoonind will be the equity consultant. (He gave her a look of incomprehension at her nearly empty file) I know her resume isn't very full, but she's perfect for this assignment. She'll come up with solutions that benefit everyone. (she tilted her head, uncomfortable, and hesitated) She... Let's just say she has trouble with authority, but she promised to tone it down.
Jack, puzzled by all this information: Look... I... (he turned his attention back to the cards) I don't know if...
Bell tried: Sir... General. From what you've told me, it's not just a matter of treating the consequences, but of thinking about eradicating the causes, right? Ms. Medweganoonind is the best person to do that. She is a field person. She will find the problems and the solutions. She's not interested in treating consequences. (She moved a hand to Alexander's chart.) That's our part.
Jack looked at the cards again, still a little skeptical: How do you know them?
Bell: I studied in the same faculty as Dr. Dang. He and Ms. Medweganoonind met in Los Angeles, I think, in... (she thinks) 1992. (he nods and she insists) I trust them completely.
Jack took a few more seconds and then concluded: When can they arrive?
Bell: Whenever you want.
Jack: Get them here now. (he moved his hand) Via Peterson. Walter will do it.
Bell nodded: Could I have the medical staff files so I know who I'm working with?
Jack stood up: Then and now, I guess?
Bell nodded: That would be great.
Jack held out his hand: Welcome to the team.
Bell shook her hand and smiled: Thank you.
Notes:
*These are the only three characters I invented*
*"Anang" is pronounced A-nan-g, you can listen to the pronunciation here, and take the reading of "ES" (not "GH") because Eugene Stillday is from Red Lake, like my Anang character*
*Video: How do you feel when your name is not pronounced correctly (source)*
*Article: Veterans and Agent Orange: Health Effects of Herbicides Used in Vietnam. (source)*
Walter ushered the Doctor into the office. She was wearing beige pants with a big leather belt and an elegant white blouse.
Bell shook Jack's hand: Well, it's not easy to get to you.
Jack smiled at her and stood up: Thank you Walter.
The man nodded and left. Jack invited the doctor into the briefing room to make herself more comfortable. With the shutter down, she looked around and lingered for a few seconds over the Program's crest on the wall. An alarm sounded and she gasped slightly.
LOUD SPEAKER: Scheduled offworld activation.
Jack invited her to take a seat before she asked any questions: Please.
Bell, curious: I don't know what you're doing here, but I can't tell you how many confidentiality papers I had to sign.
Jack: And that's just the beginning. Welcome to SGC.
Bell: "SGC"?
Jack: Wait until you sign some more papers.
Bell smiled wryly: Okay. (she pulled out a document holder she had prepared and handed him two resumes) My team members. (he began to read) Dr. Alexander Dang is easily adaptable to any situation.
Jack: And he's pretty much into surgery.
Bell agreed: Not by personal choice. He would have preferred to be a geneticist, he ... (she hesitated) He's been fighting for years for justice against the military on Vietnamese soil.
Jack looked up at her in disbelief: Hmm?
Bell: Alexander is very well paid as a surgeon, which allows him to travel regularly to treat people affected by Agent Orange that was spilled by our countrymen. (He looked down at the file) But... He also treats Americans who have been affected by Agent Orange, right here.
Jack frowned: We're talking about the Vietnam War, right? (he looked up from his file) How old did he have to be?
Bell: He was born in Vietnam but came to the U.S. when he was 10. The war was over a year ago. No trace of his family.
Jack grimaced: Sorry.
Bell: Hmm. This agent, the dioxin, gets into the genetic code of the people who were sprayed. The next generations are affected.
Jack nodded: Yeah, I've heard of it. (a little confused) Why would he help us?
Bell insisted: He doesn't hate soldiers. He knows a lot about field-related PTSD. He has developed proven techniques for managing patient crises. He knows this problem very well, (she insisted he understand the implication) I know other problems.
Jack nodded and moved on to the next file: What about Ms. Anang (he was afraid he was wrong) Med... Medwe...ganoonind?
He looked at her shyly to ask if he had misspelled her name.
Bell nodded and swallowed with apprehension: Ms. Medweganoonind will be the equity consultant. (He gave her a look of incomprehension at her nearly empty file) I know her resume isn't very full, but she's perfect for this assignment. She'll come up with solutions that benefit everyone. (she tilted her head, uncomfortable, and hesitated) She... Let's just say she has trouble with authority, but she promised to tone it down.
Jack, puzzled by all this information: Look... I... (he turned his attention back to the cards) I don't know if...
Bell tried: Sir... General. From what you've told me, it's not just a matter of treating the consequences, but of thinking about eradicating the causes, right? Ms. Medweganoonind is the best person to do that. She is a field person. She will find the problems and the solutions. She's not interested in treating consequences. (She moved a hand to Alexander's chart.) That's our part.
Jack looked at the cards again, still a little skeptical: How do you know them?
Bell: I studied in the same faculty as Dr. Dang. He and Ms. Medweganoonind met in Los Angeles, I think, in... (she thinks) 1992. (he nods and she insists) I trust them completely.
Jack took a few more seconds and then concluded: When can they arrive?
Bell: Whenever you want.
Jack: Get them here now. (he moved his hand) Via Peterson. Walter will do it.
Bell nodded: Could I have the medical staff files so I know who I'm working with?
Jack stood up: Then and now, I guess?
Bell nodded: That would be great.
Jack held out his hand: Welcome to the team.
Bell shook her hand and smiled: Thank you.
Notes:
*These are the only three characters I invented*
*"Anang" is pronounced A-nan-g, you can listen to the pronunciation here, and take the reading of "ES" (not "GH") because Eugene Stillday is from Red Lake, like my Anang character*
*Video: How do you feel when your name is not pronounced correctly (source)*
*Article: Veterans and Agent Orange: Health Effects of Herbicides Used in Vietnam. (source)*