Jack poured himself a cup of coffee and rummaged through the phones to find the first one. He turned it on and after several seconds, an envelope appeared.
(Text message) Sam: Sorry. I think I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment.
(Text message) Jack: Here?
He put the phone down, looked for an empty box, put all the other cell phones and chargers in it and the cell phone vibrated on the table. He immediately dropped what he was doing and picked up the phone.
(Text message) Sam: Here.
(Text message) Jack: You all right?
He put the remaining phones away, closed the box and took it to his bedroom closet. He hid it under the bed and went into the kitchen. He picked up the phone, but no envelope was displayed.
(Text message) Jack: I'm here if you need me.
(Text message) Sam: Sorry. I think I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment.
(Text message) Jack: Here?
He put the phone down, looked for an empty box, put all the other cell phones and chargers in it and the cell phone vibrated on the table. He immediately dropped what he was doing and picked up the phone.
(Text message) Sam: Here.
(Text message) Jack: You all right?
He put the remaining phones away, closed the box and took it to his bedroom closet. He hid it under the bed and went into the kitchen. He picked up the phone, but no envelope was displayed.
(Text message) Jack: I'm here if you need me.
CW: *mention of death*
Daniel knocked on her door and entered: 'ning. Did you- (He stopped in front of the bruise on his face, even though it was starting to fade with the doctor's ointment) Wow. What happened to you?
Jack winced at the thought of lying to her and looking foolish again: Um, closet accident. What do you want?
Daniel: Do you think it would be possible to have some time off?
Jack continued to file his files on his desk: Oh already? What, the last few assignments have you burned out?
Daniel rubbed the back of his neck: A little. I'm dead. Again. Then came back to life... again.
Jack shook his head and seemed to be looking for a missing file: Bad habits, huh?
Daniel frowned at his behavior: I have to go to Catherine's funeral tomorrow.
Jack looked up at him, shocked: Catherine’s dead? (Daniel froze, surprised that he didn't know. He nodded and Jack dropped his files) God, I'm sorry. Yes, of course you are. I'm putting SG-1 to rest. You all need it. (He looked at his watch) I'll make the announcement at the meeting.
Daniel: Thank you.
Jack concerned: Is there anything you need?
Daniel shook his head: Just a little rest.
Jack: RepliCarter gave you a hard time, didn't she?
Daniel frowned: Hmm. And burying two loved ones in less than three days is getting a little hard.
Jack nodded: Any plans?
Daniel raised his eyebrows: Not especially.
Jack put away some files on his desk: My cabin is always open to ya.
Daniel quickly looked for an escape: Uh...
Jack spoke to himself: A little rainy this time of year but it would be nice.
Daniel: That's...
Jack tilted his head: Oh come on. When was the last time the four of us got together? (He moved his hand towards the briefing room) Other than for work.
Daniel doubted: Can you take a vacation? (he looked around) I mean... it's been a long time since I've seen you leave here.
Jack grimaced slightly: I'll see what I can do.
Daniel hated fishing, but he knew it was because of his friend, who had refused his offer so many times. The death of Catherine and Jacob reminded him that life was short and the archaeologist needed to be surrounded by his loved ones.
Daniel smiled softly at the idea: It would be a good idea to get together. Okay. Why not?
Jack returned his smile: Okay.
Echo:
*again*
*You all need it. / Is there anything you need?*
*okay*
*together*
Daniel knocked on her door and entered: 'ning. Did you- (He stopped in front of the bruise on his face, even though it was starting to fade with the doctor's ointment) Wow. What happened to you?
Jack winced at the thought of lying to her and looking foolish again: Um, closet accident. What do you want?
Daniel: Do you think it would be possible to have some time off?
Jack continued to file his files on his desk: Oh already? What, the last few assignments have you burned out?
Daniel rubbed the back of his neck: A little. I'm dead. Again. Then came back to life... again.
Jack shook his head and seemed to be looking for a missing file: Bad habits, huh?
Daniel frowned at his behavior: I have to go to Catherine's funeral tomorrow.
Jack looked up at him, shocked: Catherine’s dead? (Daniel froze, surprised that he didn't know. He nodded and Jack dropped his files) God, I'm sorry. Yes, of course you are. I'm putting SG-1 to rest. You all need it. (He looked at his watch) I'll make the announcement at the meeting.
Daniel: Thank you.
Jack concerned: Is there anything you need?
Daniel shook his head: Just a little rest.
Jack: RepliCarter gave you a hard time, didn't she?
Daniel frowned: Hmm. And burying two loved ones in less than three days is getting a little hard.
Jack nodded: Any plans?
Daniel raised his eyebrows: Not especially.
Jack put away some files on his desk: My cabin is always open to ya.
Daniel quickly looked for an escape: Uh...
Jack spoke to himself: A little rainy this time of year but it would be nice.
Daniel: That's...
Jack tilted his head: Oh come on. When was the last time the four of us got together? (He moved his hand towards the briefing room) Other than for work.
Daniel doubted: Can you take a vacation? (he looked around) I mean... it's been a long time since I've seen you leave here.
Jack grimaced slightly: I'll see what I can do.
Daniel hated fishing, but he knew it was because of his friend, who had refused his offer so many times. The death of Catherine and Jacob reminded him that life was short and the archaeologist needed to be surrounded by his loved ones.
Daniel smiled softly at the idea: It would be a good idea to get together. Okay. Why not?
Jack returned his smile: Okay.
Echo:
*again*
*You all need it. / Is there anything you need?*
*okay*
*together*
CW: *mention of death* *mention of torture* *mention of murder*
Around the table, SG-1 was waiting for the General. Sam was finishing reading a report on the first tests of the Daedalus hyperdrive installation, Daniel was staring at her as subtly as possible, trying to retrieve all of his memories. There was something, something that he couldn't remember but was there in his memory. Jack entered and sat quietly in his chair. Teal'c raised his eyebrow at his friend's bruise. Sam tried to contain her discomfort and closed the file.
Jack: Hey kids. Carter, glad to see you back.
Detached at first, she took the hint of her father's death.
Sam smiled politely and nodded: Thank you, sir.
Daniel smiled sympathetically and Teal'c nodded in respect.
Jack: Due to recent events, it has been decided that SG-1 will be granted a week's leave.
Sam frowned: If I may, General, I am ready to return to active duty immediately.
Daniel looked back at her and his face fell: Once again, a feeling had hit him hard. Brutally. Horribly.
Jack: I'm glad to hear that, but you're not alone on the SG-1 team.
Daniel came to his senses: I was the one who asked.
She remembered the news of Catherine's death this morning and cursed herself for being so selfish right now. It hadn't been easy for him lately either. She nodded her head in apology for her impulsive reaction. He smiled gently at her and then looked at Jack.
Daniel: Did you get your leave?
Jack: I'll know more tonight. (he addressed the rest of the team) I suggested that we all go on a trip together to my cabin. (he sank into his chair) Fishing, forest, lake... Fish... (he raised his eyebrows and whispered) Rain...
Daniel to Sam: Of course we understand if you want to take some time for yourself.
Jack: Of course Teal'c will be extremely disappointed.
She turned her head to Teal'c, who seemed to be implicitly pleading with her. Jack squinted at him.
Sam held back with a chuckle: If Teal'c is so eager for my presence... I don't see how I can refuse.
Teal'c inclined his head, reassured that he would not be alone with him: Then the pleasure shall be mine, O'Neill.
Jack: Good. Great!
Sam grinned: It's just that I'm afraid I'm running out of time. (she moved the folder in front of her) Area 51 has requested my assistance with the Daedalus and to be ready if-
Jack stopped her with a wave of his hand: For the time being, you'll stay at the base. (he turned to Teal'c) Well, you guys do what you want. (he squinted at him again for a few seconds and then looked back at Daniel and Sam) Daniel has to go to the funeral tomorrow, so if you wish to go with or for your... (he made a wave of his hand) stuff.
Sam, nervous: I have an all-day appointment tomorrow at the Air Force Academy Airfield for a conference, sir.
At these words, Daniel widened his eyes.
Jack frowned at the oblivion: Oh ya. (he stood up) Very well. I'll keep you posted on my side.
The others got up, Jack went to his office, Sam gathered her things and Teal'c headed for the stairs.
Daniel: Sam?
Sam: Sorry about earlier Daniel. I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment.
Daniel: No no, no worries.
They smiled politely at each other.
Sam frowned: That's strange, I've been thinking about Catherine a lot these days.
Daniel, surprised: Oh?
Sam: When we first met. I've been thinking about the things she said to me.
Daniel smiles gently: Like?
Sam: Um, nothing important. (she took a serious tone) Sorry, I wish I could go with you, believe me.
Daniel grinned: I wish I could talk to you about something, but I don't know if... it's a good idea. (she questioned him with her eyes and he became uncomfortable) Hmm. I've been having memories lately.
Sam: Hmm?
Daniel: Of my death.
Sam lowered her head and then raised it: With my double?
Daniel nodded: When she tortured me (he shook his head several times) and then killed me.
Sam winced and looked at him sadly: I'm sorry.
Daniel: It's not your fault. (He frowned) She... she wasn't you.
Sam: What's this about?
Daniel readjusted his glasses: Mostly you. (she stared at him for a moment trying to read his mind and Daniel became nervous) I was able to get into her mind.
Sam nodded and smiled gently: Yes, I read your report.
Daniel: What if... what if she had... or you... well... tried to talk to me... through you... her?
Sam tensed slightly: What do you mean?
Daniel confused: I don't know, she was created in your image, right? A part of you that would have stayed inside her that would want you to know something about her... (he grimaced) About you?
He questioned her with his eyes.
Sam stared at him: What, something I forgot?
Daniel winced again and ventured: Maybe. I'm not sure. I have the feeling that she or... you... were trying to send a message through her... you (he frowned) me?
Sam gritted her teeth and started to get very nervous: What message?
Daniel: I'm not sure.
And suddenly Daniel recoiled slightly, remembering an echo.
Sam, facing his reaction: What?
Daniel raised his eyebrows: We've had this conversation before.
Sam raised her eyebrows: I don't think so.
Daniel: Yes, we have... No, we haven't. (He raises a hand to her) Forget it.
Silence.
Sam: Daniel, I don't know what to tell you. It's not like the Replicators to do this kind of thing. Why would they? (he winced) What were those memories?
Daniel: Fragments of thoughts and impressions would be more accurate. (she questioned him again, encouraging him to continue, and Daniel frowned) Disgust? A lot of guilt. (he put his hand on the back of her neck, she swallowed and looked away) Sorry it's very... confusing. It's the same feeling I got when I came back from my Ascension with Rya'c and Bra'tac in danger, you know?
Sam swallowed nervously: Not really...
Silence.
Daniel changed the subject: Is your appointment going to be okay?
He winced again. He had wanted to change the subject, but those unpleasant impressions came back.
Sam frowned and looked at him strangely: Yeah, why?
Daniel: I don't know. That feeling again... Hmm. Well, presumably you don't have to do that if you don't want to.
Sam smiled wryly: Actually, I do. It's a direct order (he swallows and gets nervous, she smiles at him) Daniel, it's okay. (she shrugs) I'm used to it, it's part of my duties.
She walked away and left a very confused Daniel.
Echo:
*message*
*memories/ I forgot? / forget it*
*feeling*
*I think I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment.*
*She... she wasn't you. / Mostly you /A part of you / or you... / through you... her? / About you? / she or... you... *
*if you wish to go with /I wish I could go with you / I wish I could talk to you*
*something*
*about her / about you*
*of course*
Around the table, SG-1 was waiting for the General. Sam was finishing reading a report on the first tests of the Daedalus hyperdrive installation, Daniel was staring at her as subtly as possible, trying to retrieve all of his memories. There was something, something that he couldn't remember but was there in his memory. Jack entered and sat quietly in his chair. Teal'c raised his eyebrow at his friend's bruise. Sam tried to contain her discomfort and closed the file.
Jack: Hey kids. Carter, glad to see you back.
Detached at first, she took the hint of her father's death.
Sam smiled politely and nodded: Thank you, sir.
Daniel smiled sympathetically and Teal'c nodded in respect.
Jack: Due to recent events, it has been decided that SG-1 will be granted a week's leave.
Sam frowned: If I may, General, I am ready to return to active duty immediately.
Daniel looked back at her and his face fell: Once again, a feeling had hit him hard. Brutally. Horribly.
Jack: I'm glad to hear that, but you're not alone on the SG-1 team.
Daniel came to his senses: I was the one who asked.
She remembered the news of Catherine's death this morning and cursed herself for being so selfish right now. It hadn't been easy for him lately either. She nodded her head in apology for her impulsive reaction. He smiled gently at her and then looked at Jack.
Daniel: Did you get your leave?
Jack: I'll know more tonight. (he addressed the rest of the team) I suggested that we all go on a trip together to my cabin. (he sank into his chair) Fishing, forest, lake... Fish... (he raised his eyebrows and whispered) Rain...
Daniel to Sam: Of course we understand if you want to take some time for yourself.
Jack: Of course Teal'c will be extremely disappointed.
She turned her head to Teal'c, who seemed to be implicitly pleading with her. Jack squinted at him.
Sam held back with a chuckle: If Teal'c is so eager for my presence... I don't see how I can refuse.
Teal'c inclined his head, reassured that he would not be alone with him: Then the pleasure shall be mine, O'Neill.
Jack: Good. Great!
Sam grinned: It's just that I'm afraid I'm running out of time. (she moved the folder in front of her) Area 51 has requested my assistance with the Daedalus and to be ready if-
Jack stopped her with a wave of his hand: For the time being, you'll stay at the base. (he turned to Teal'c) Well, you guys do what you want. (he squinted at him again for a few seconds and then looked back at Daniel and Sam) Daniel has to go to the funeral tomorrow, so if you wish to go with or for your... (he made a wave of his hand) stuff.
Sam, nervous: I have an all-day appointment tomorrow at the Air Force Academy Airfield for a conference, sir.
At these words, Daniel widened his eyes.
Jack frowned at the oblivion: Oh ya. (he stood up) Very well. I'll keep you posted on my side.
The others got up, Jack went to his office, Sam gathered her things and Teal'c headed for the stairs.
Daniel: Sam?
Sam: Sorry about earlier Daniel. I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment.
Daniel: No no, no worries.
They smiled politely at each other.
Sam frowned: That's strange, I've been thinking about Catherine a lot these days.
Daniel, surprised: Oh?
Sam: When we first met. I've been thinking about the things she said to me.
Daniel smiles gently: Like?
Sam: Um, nothing important. (she took a serious tone) Sorry, I wish I could go with you, believe me.
Daniel grinned: I wish I could talk to you about something, but I don't know if... it's a good idea. (she questioned him with her eyes and he became uncomfortable) Hmm. I've been having memories lately.
Sam: Hmm?
Daniel: Of my death.
Sam lowered her head and then raised it: With my double?
Daniel nodded: When she tortured me (he shook his head several times) and then killed me.
Sam winced and looked at him sadly: I'm sorry.
Daniel: It's not your fault. (He frowned) She... she wasn't you.
Sam: What's this about?
Daniel readjusted his glasses: Mostly you. (she stared at him for a moment trying to read his mind and Daniel became nervous) I was able to get into her mind.
Sam nodded and smiled gently: Yes, I read your report.
Daniel: What if... what if she had... or you... well... tried to talk to me... through you... her?
Sam tensed slightly: What do you mean?
Daniel confused: I don't know, she was created in your image, right? A part of you that would have stayed inside her that would want you to know something about her... (he grimaced) About you?
He questioned her with his eyes.
Sam stared at him: What, something I forgot?
Daniel winced again and ventured: Maybe. I'm not sure. I have the feeling that she or... you... were trying to send a message through her... you (he frowned) me?
Sam gritted her teeth and started to get very nervous: What message?
Daniel: I'm not sure.
And suddenly Daniel recoiled slightly, remembering an echo.
Sam, facing his reaction: What?
Daniel raised his eyebrows: We've had this conversation before.
Sam raised her eyebrows: I don't think so.
Daniel: Yes, we have... No, we haven't. (He raises a hand to her) Forget it.
Silence.
Sam: Daniel, I don't know what to tell you. It's not like the Replicators to do this kind of thing. Why would they? (he winced) What were those memories?
Daniel: Fragments of thoughts and impressions would be more accurate. (she questioned him again, encouraging him to continue, and Daniel frowned) Disgust? A lot of guilt. (he put his hand on the back of her neck, she swallowed and looked away) Sorry it's very... confusing. It's the same feeling I got when I came back from my Ascension with Rya'c and Bra'tac in danger, you know?
Sam swallowed nervously: Not really...
Silence.
Daniel changed the subject: Is your appointment going to be okay?
He winced again. He had wanted to change the subject, but those unpleasant impressions came back.
Sam frowned and looked at him strangely: Yeah, why?
Daniel: I don't know. That feeling again... Hmm. Well, presumably you don't have to do that if you don't want to.
Sam smiled wryly: Actually, I do. It's a direct order (he swallows and gets nervous, she smiles at him) Daniel, it's okay. (she shrugs) I'm used to it, it's part of my duties.
She walked away and left a very confused Daniel.
Echo:
*message*
*memories/ I forgot? / forget it*
*feeling*
*I think I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment.*
*She... she wasn't you. / Mostly you /A part of you / or you... / through you... her? / About you? / she or... you... *
*if you wish to go with /I wish I could go with you / I wish I could talk to you*
*something*
*about her / about you*
*of course*
He pushed open the door to his house, walked to his dining room, stopped, and looked into the living room to see if she was there. When he didn't see her, he went to his fridge and opened a cold beer, took a sip while opening a lower cupboard in his kitchen. He crouched down and looked for the phone on the top of the cupboard, which was hung with heavy tape. He turned it on, flopped down on the living room couch and took another sip. An envelope appeared on the screen.
(Text message) Sam: Tonight?
Jack's heart leapt in his chest. He began to tap on the phone.
(Text message) Jack: Where and when?
He pressed send and took a sip. The answer didn't take too long.
(Text message) Sam: Springs Marriott CS, 10pm. 305. Alburquerque.
He retained the information, then removed the battery and the SIM card. He broke the phone in half and got up to burn the SIM card via the kitchen gas. He heard his personal cell phone ring and looked at the email he had just received, his leave had been accepted from Saturday night. He did some research on flight schedules and then composed an e-mail to SG-1.
(MAIL) Jack: Leave approved. We can take off Saturday night, 11:45pm flight. Let me know and I'll get your tickets.
He looked at his watch: he still had some time to start packing and get ready to join her. He quietly finished his beer and went to take a shower.
(Text message) Sam: Tonight?
Jack's heart leapt in his chest. He began to tap on the phone.
(Text message) Jack: Where and when?
He pressed send and took a sip. The answer didn't take too long.
(Text message) Sam: Springs Marriott CS, 10pm. 305. Alburquerque.
He retained the information, then removed the battery and the SIM card. He broke the phone in half and got up to burn the SIM card via the kitchen gas. He heard his personal cell phone ring and looked at the email he had just received, his leave had been accepted from Saturday night. He did some research on flight schedules and then composed an e-mail to SG-1.
(MAIL) Jack: Leave approved. We can take off Saturday night, 11:45pm flight. Let me know and I'll get your tickets.
He looked at his watch: he still had some time to start packing and get ready to join her. He quietly finished his beer and went to take a shower.
CW: *fatphobia* * mention of rape* * mention of stalking*
He walked to the hotel elevator and pressed 3. He leaned against the wall, checked his watch for the fifteenth time and lowered his arm, drunk with himself for being so tense. He blew out several breaths to relax then froze, put his hand in front of his mouth and checked his breath. He felt guilty for not having gone to the florist or something like that, then wondered if the clothes he had chosen were in adequacy with the place she had selected. Extra-large light jeans, black T-shirt and leather jacket, as usual. He had unconsciously taken out his faithful black hat that he put on in unofficial operation and thought that he could have made an effort... Effort! At this word he tapped nervously on his stomach and cursed himself for having taken a piece of cake.
Jack rolled his eyes and muttered: Oh for crying out loud.
The only thing keeping him from banging his head against the wall was the wish not to rekindle the bruise on his forehead that was finally fading. Why was he so stressed? A hotel? Hmm. Didn't we say to take it easy? At the same time... It's hard to go out in the open. After knocking, the door opened on a Sam dressed in simple dark jeans and a peridot top with a flowery pattern and a discreet lace neckline. He went down his glance along her body, hypnotized. In front of the man, always motionless, she accentuated the opening of the door so that he penetrated into the room.
Jack struggled out of his contemplation and said: Hey.
Sam closed the door and stepped into the room: Hey.
He enjoyed the bewitching movement of her backside and her long legs topped by her pumps, and pulled himself together just before she turned around.
Jack took off his hat: Sorry. I'm late.
Sam shook her head: It's okay.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds, still transfixed: You look... Great.
She turned and looked into his gentle eyes. She started to blush in spite of herself and lowered her head, intimidated.
Jack gave up trying to take his eyes off her and approached her gently: Are you okay?
She tingled nervously at the question and then smiled at him for appearances' sake.
Sam murmured with a smile and put her hands on his shirt: Yeah.
Jack, nervously: Sorry. I could have dressed better and uh...
Sam smiled and bit her lip: You look great. (They gently brought her face to his, kissed for a few seconds and then smiled at each other) Hey.
Jack, captivated: Hey. (she smiled again, wanted to renew the kiss but he put one of his hands on her forearm and hesitated) Can we talk?
Sam moved closer to his face: I don't want to talk.
He put more pressure on her forearm, stepped aside to take several steps into the room and rubbed the back of his neck.
Jack: Your crisis? At my place?
Sam looked away: I don't want to talk about it.
Jack looked at her and hesitated: Uh... I think it's important. (She frowned and he winced) I read your medical file.
Sam froze: What?
Jack looked down, nervous: There wasn't much. (He looked up at her. She was still looking at him and waiting for his final sentence) Anti-depressants for 2 years and PTSD.
She closed her eyes.
He walked to the hotel elevator and pressed 3. He leaned against the wall, checked his watch for the fifteenth time and lowered his arm, drunk with himself for being so tense. He blew out several breaths to relax then froze, put his hand in front of his mouth and checked his breath. He felt guilty for not having gone to the florist or something like that, then wondered if the clothes he had chosen were in adequacy with the place she had selected. Extra-large light jeans, black T-shirt and leather jacket, as usual. He had unconsciously taken out his faithful black hat that he put on in unofficial operation and thought that he could have made an effort... Effort! At this word he tapped nervously on his stomach and cursed himself for having taken a piece of cake.
Jack rolled his eyes and muttered: Oh for crying out loud.
The only thing keeping him from banging his head against the wall was the wish not to rekindle the bruise on his forehead that was finally fading. Why was he so stressed? A hotel? Hmm. Didn't we say to take it easy? At the same time... It's hard to go out in the open. After knocking, the door opened on a Sam dressed in simple dark jeans and a peridot top with a flowery pattern and a discreet lace neckline. He went down his glance along her body, hypnotized. In front of the man, always motionless, she accentuated the opening of the door so that he penetrated into the room.
Jack struggled out of his contemplation and said: Hey.
Sam closed the door and stepped into the room: Hey.
He enjoyed the bewitching movement of her backside and her long legs topped by her pumps, and pulled himself together just before she turned around.
Jack took off his hat: Sorry. I'm late.
Sam shook her head: It's okay.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds, still transfixed: You look... Great.
She turned and looked into his gentle eyes. She started to blush in spite of herself and lowered her head, intimidated.
Jack gave up trying to take his eyes off her and approached her gently: Are you okay?
She tingled nervously at the question and then smiled at him for appearances' sake.
Sam murmured with a smile and put her hands on his shirt: Yeah.
Jack, nervously: Sorry. I could have dressed better and uh...
Sam smiled and bit her lip: You look great. (They gently brought her face to his, kissed for a few seconds and then smiled at each other) Hey.
Jack, captivated: Hey. (she smiled again, wanted to renew the kiss but he put one of his hands on her forearm and hesitated) Can we talk?
Sam moved closer to his face: I don't want to talk.
He put more pressure on her forearm, stepped aside to take several steps into the room and rubbed the back of his neck.
Jack: Your crisis? At my place?
Sam looked away: I don't want to talk about it.
Jack looked at her and hesitated: Uh... I think it's important. (She frowned and he winced) I read your medical file.
Sam froze: What?
Jack looked down, nervous: There wasn't much. (He looked up at her. She was still looking at him and waiting for his final sentence) Anti-depressants for 2 years and PTSD.
She closed her eyes.
And damn it, he knew everything.
Well, not everything.
But enough.
Damn file.
Damn doctors.
Confidentiality... yeah, sure.
Damn army.
Damn her, who had failed to hide everything.
Not lied well enough.
The Air Force takes away her history, her personal life.
Nothing was her own.
Not even her body.
Jack: I don't know why, although I have some ideas. I won't make you tell me. (He swallowed) But... I am responsible for your health.
He hoped he had said the right words and not rushed her. She gritted her teeth and her breathing quickened.
Sam shook her head and growled coldly: "Responsible"?
Jack: Through the missions we've been on. The SGC has not been up to the task of helping you.
Sam clenched her fists tightly and bubbled inside: "The SGC"? (He questioned her with his eyes, surprised at her reaction. She added hatefully) What about your promise to wait until the other was ready to say the hard things?
Jack swallowed and lowered his head, at fault: Sam I-
Sam got angry: What's wrong with you? Can't you refrain from prying into my life without asking me first? In the name of my own safety? My well-being? My health? (she insisted sarcastically) I'm a big girl, thanks. (she shouted) You don't know anything about me!
Jack exclaimed with concern: Then tell me! (At these words she loosened her teeth. Her face broke down and the tears rose in her eyes. Don't cry, she repeated to herself, don't cry. He clenched his teeth in turn) Why? Why are you reacting like this?
Sam lowered her head and regretted: Why did you have to-
Jack : What?” Why did I have to” what? (he waited for her answer but she was still silent) Look at your file? (he became angry in turn) Carter! The bits ya finally decide to drop on me I don't know if they're lies or... (she widened her eyes but he didn't notice) You're kind of absent and shit... You're angry all the time! I just wanna help!
At length he hit the wall with his fist. He felt the pain and immediately regretted his action. He rubbed his fist with his other hand to soothe it and slowly turned back to her.
Jack: I...
He fell silent, surprised to see her face filled with hatred and tears. He waited for a reaction from her, even insults, but without success. He had the impression that she didn't trust him and he immediately resented this thought. He had searched her life without asking her. The lack of trust came from him. His heart broke: She was right.
Jack grabbed his jacket from the floor and headed for the entrance: Sorry. I'll leave you alone I... Sorry.
She closed her eyes to a feeling she knew all too well: Everyone was abandoning her. Her mother. Her father... Janet... Narim... Martouf... But also the disappearances of Daniel or Teal'c. And now him, like Pete, after an argument. She seemed exhausted and lost her footing. The world was falling apart around her again and a feeling of terror came over her.
Sam, very low: Oh no. (Desperate as she had been years ago, she spoke the words again in a whisper) Don't leave me like this, don't leave me, please. Give me a chance.
The door opened. She lowered her head, hatred replaced by resignation.
He hoped he had said the right words and not rushed her. She gritted her teeth and her breathing quickened.
Sam shook her head and growled coldly: "Responsible"?
Jack: Through the missions we've been on. The SGC has not been up to the task of helping you.
Sam clenched her fists tightly and bubbled inside: "The SGC"? (He questioned her with his eyes, surprised at her reaction. She added hatefully) What about your promise to wait until the other was ready to say the hard things?
Jack swallowed and lowered his head, at fault: Sam I-
Sam got angry: What's wrong with you? Can't you refrain from prying into my life without asking me first? In the name of my own safety? My well-being? My health? (she insisted sarcastically) I'm a big girl, thanks. (she shouted) You don't know anything about me!
Jack exclaimed with concern: Then tell me! (At these words she loosened her teeth. Her face broke down and the tears rose in her eyes. Don't cry, she repeated to herself, don't cry. He clenched his teeth in turn) Why? Why are you reacting like this?
Sam lowered her head and regretted: Why did you have to-
Jack : What?” Why did I have to” what? (he waited for her answer but she was still silent) Look at your file? (he became angry in turn) Carter! The bits ya finally decide to drop on me I don't know if they're lies or... (she widened her eyes but he didn't notice) You're kind of absent and shit... You're angry all the time! I just wanna help!
At length he hit the wall with his fist. He felt the pain and immediately regretted his action. He rubbed his fist with his other hand to soothe it and slowly turned back to her.
Jack: I...
He fell silent, surprised to see her face filled with hatred and tears. He waited for a reaction from her, even insults, but without success. He had the impression that she didn't trust him and he immediately resented this thought. He had searched her life without asking her. The lack of trust came from him. His heart broke: She was right.
Jack grabbed his jacket from the floor and headed for the entrance: Sorry. I'll leave you alone I... Sorry.
She closed her eyes to a feeling she knew all too well: Everyone was abandoning her. Her mother. Her father... Janet... Narim... Martouf... But also the disappearances of Daniel or Teal'c. And now him, like Pete, after an argument. She seemed exhausted and lost her footing. The world was falling apart around her again and a feeling of terror came over her.
Sam, very low: Oh no. (Desperate as she had been years ago, she spoke the words again in a whisper) Don't leave me like this, don't leave me, please. Give me a chance.
The door opened. She lowered her head, hatred replaced by resignation.
Tell the truth?
No.
Maybe?
No.
Maybe?
Sam, in a breath: I was raped. (a silence sounded, then the door closed. She added in a voice inaudible even to herself) I think so.
Jack reappeared in the room: What?
She opened her eyes again without looking up. Damn it, she thought, definitely screwed up. He stared at her, she was relatively calm and he found her behavior strange. His brain kept telling him that it was not possible. Not her. It couldn't be. Another lie?
Jack slowly took another step towards her, cautious: When? (she swallowed hard and clenched her fists. She dug her fingernails into her skin to control her mental pain and turn it into physical pain) Hanson? (with her head still down, she shook her head) Pete? (she frowned and shook her head again. He widened his eyes) Fifth?
She looked up sharply, surprised. He pressed her question with his eyes, concerned. She grimaced and shook her head negatively, confused.
Jack, in a breath: Who?
Sam's body stiffened even more. She increased the pressure in her palms and began to pierce her skin. He came to his senses at the memory of her medical records, maybe being curious wasn't what she needed now, lie or not.
Jack exclaimed: No! (more quietly) Sorry. (he held up his arms to emphasize his point) Tell me when you're ready. (he insisted) If you want. (A tear rolled down Sam's cheek. He winced and hesitated) Come here.
He invited her to snuggle up to him, and she clung to him with all her might and began to cry her eyes out.
Jack gently rocked her to calm her down and stroked her hair: I'm here.
Sam: I can't stop crying this is ridiculous. I'm sorry.
Jack mumbled: Oh for crying out loud. (They froze then he widened his eyes) Huuuu. Sorry. (She nodded and sniffed uncomfortably. He grabbed a box of tissues and handed her the package) Don't... Don't apologize. (She took a few, sat down on the bed, blew her nose as quietly as possible and wiped away the tears.) You should get some sleep.
Sam nodded, raised her eyebrows with a touch of sarcasm: Yeah.
Jack turned around but she grabbed his arm with an overly desperate gesture: I'm not going anywhere.
They smiled shyly at each other at this repetition. She tossed her tissues into the trash.
Sam, embarrassed: I.... I don't have any clothes planned. I'm going home.
He looked around the room for a solution, hesitated and then took off his T-shirt. This one widened the eyes in front of his naked chest and looked away.
Sam timidly grabbed the garment: Thank you.
He went around the bed and took off his shoes. The noise of the opening of his belt made her emerge. She stood up abruptly and headed for the bathroom. He swallowed her behavior and promised himself again to go slowly. He removed his pants, turned off all the lights except the bed and slipped under the comforter.
The closed lock, she froze in front of her reflection in the mirror: Her mascara had run. She quickly washed her face then removed her heels, her clothes and put on the T-shirt. She then went back into the room and he looked away so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable being half-naked outside the bed. She crawled under the comforter in turn, he turned off the last lights and turned back to her. The street lamps outside lit up their faces just enough. She faced him, looked at him a little fearful and anxious to spend her first night with him in this situation.
Jack stretched out an arm: Come closer.
She did not make herself prier and folded a thigh against her legs. He embraced her and caressed her hair in a repetitive gesture to help her calm down. They remained thus a moment, without pronouncing the least word and relaxed little by little.
When she was again perfectly serene, she began to walk her hand on the chest of the man. She drew with her finger one of his clavicles and accentuated her effleurement when she discovered a scar of the end of her fingers. He pressed his hand in her hair a little more intensely and her breathing accelerated. After a few minutes, she felt something on her thigh that brought back memories.
Sam quietly: That's not your sidearm.
Jack uncomfortably: Nope.
She started to giggle. He stayed as still as possible and tried to think of something else, surprised that his body was reacting so much, especially after their discussion.
Jack: Sorry.
Sam got serious: No, no. It's okay. It's okay.
Jack cleared his throat: It's... Eurh... This new... proximity.
Sam: Hmm.
Jack: Not unpleasant, eh. (she giggles) Just... New.
Sam: Got it. (lowered) Stick with it, sir.
Jack raises his eyebrows at the reminder: Nice.
She smiled, closed her eyes and snuggled even closer to him. He took a deep, heavy breath. She eventually fell asleep, but he thought about that statement for a while, still shocked.
Jack reappeared in the room: What?
She opened her eyes again without looking up. Damn it, she thought, definitely screwed up. He stared at her, she was relatively calm and he found her behavior strange. His brain kept telling him that it was not possible. Not her. It couldn't be. Another lie?
Jack slowly took another step towards her, cautious: When? (she swallowed hard and clenched her fists. She dug her fingernails into her skin to control her mental pain and turn it into physical pain) Hanson? (with her head still down, she shook her head) Pete? (she frowned and shook her head again. He widened his eyes) Fifth?
She looked up sharply, surprised. He pressed her question with his eyes, concerned. She grimaced and shook her head negatively, confused.
Jack, in a breath: Who?
Sam's body stiffened even more. She increased the pressure in her palms and began to pierce her skin. He came to his senses at the memory of her medical records, maybe being curious wasn't what she needed now, lie or not.
Jack exclaimed: No! (more quietly) Sorry. (he held up his arms to emphasize his point) Tell me when you're ready. (he insisted) If you want. (A tear rolled down Sam's cheek. He winced and hesitated) Come here.
He invited her to snuggle up to him, and she clung to him with all her might and began to cry her eyes out.
Jack gently rocked her to calm her down and stroked her hair: I'm here.
Sam: I can't stop crying this is ridiculous. I'm sorry.
Jack mumbled: Oh for crying out loud. (They froze then he widened his eyes) Huuuu. Sorry. (She nodded and sniffed uncomfortably. He grabbed a box of tissues and handed her the package) Don't... Don't apologize. (She took a few, sat down on the bed, blew her nose as quietly as possible and wiped away the tears.) You should get some sleep.
Sam nodded, raised her eyebrows with a touch of sarcasm: Yeah.
Jack turned around but she grabbed his arm with an overly desperate gesture: I'm not going anywhere.
They smiled shyly at each other at this repetition. She tossed her tissues into the trash.
Sam, embarrassed: I.... I don't have any clothes planned. I'm going home.
He looked around the room for a solution, hesitated and then took off his T-shirt. This one widened the eyes in front of his naked chest and looked away.
Sam timidly grabbed the garment: Thank you.
He went around the bed and took off his shoes. The noise of the opening of his belt made her emerge. She stood up abruptly and headed for the bathroom. He swallowed her behavior and promised himself again to go slowly. He removed his pants, turned off all the lights except the bed and slipped under the comforter.
The closed lock, she froze in front of her reflection in the mirror: Her mascara had run. She quickly washed her face then removed her heels, her clothes and put on the T-shirt. She then went back into the room and he looked away so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable being half-naked outside the bed. She crawled under the comforter in turn, he turned off the last lights and turned back to her. The street lamps outside lit up their faces just enough. She faced him, looked at him a little fearful and anxious to spend her first night with him in this situation.
Jack stretched out an arm: Come closer.
She did not make herself prier and folded a thigh against her legs. He embraced her and caressed her hair in a repetitive gesture to help her calm down. They remained thus a moment, without pronouncing the least word and relaxed little by little.
When she was again perfectly serene, she began to walk her hand on the chest of the man. She drew with her finger one of his clavicles and accentuated her effleurement when she discovered a scar of the end of her fingers. He pressed his hand in her hair a little more intensely and her breathing accelerated. After a few minutes, she felt something on her thigh that brought back memories.
Sam quietly: That's not your sidearm.
Jack uncomfortably: Nope.
She started to giggle. He stayed as still as possible and tried to think of something else, surprised that his body was reacting so much, especially after their discussion.
Jack: Sorry.
Sam got serious: No, no. It's okay. It's okay.
Jack cleared his throat: It's... Eurh... This new... proximity.
Sam: Hmm.
Jack: Not unpleasant, eh. (she giggles) Just... New.
Sam: Got it. (lowered) Stick with it, sir.
Jack raises his eyebrows at the reminder: Nice.
She smiled, closed her eyes and snuggled even closer to him. He took a deep, heavy breath. She eventually fell asleep, but he thought about that statement for a while, still shocked.
What?
Who?
When?
Who?
When?
These questions haunted him. She was so strong, she hadn't let on.
Echo:
*Stick with it*
*responsible*
*I don't want to talk*
*"I'm a big girl, thanks. ", she had already said in a previous paragraph "I'm a big girl but okay."*
Notes:
*the scene where Pete goes to pick up Sam at her house and the door opens on her in a dress, you have a perfect example of a "male gaze" shot here
It's totally okay to do it as a human in a private setting like this, but there are too many representations of this tracking shot on women's bodies in movies and TV shows, and always on the same people (women) and of the same gabari (blonde, thin, white, able-bodied)*
*victims of sexual violence don't have a sign with their trauma written on it*
*Why did I imagine Carter's character being sexually abused? First, because this is a recurring scenario in Stargate fanfics (especially the Sam/Jack romance) and the rape culture doesn't help. It's often Jack who rapes her but it was "okay" because they love each other (see my FAQ "the Sam/Jack romance" where I explain it in more detail). Secondly because the rape culture is very present in Stargate, and we'll review all that together.
There are other reasons and you will discover them by reading on.*
Bonus: *Click here*
*Stick with it*
*responsible*
*I don't want to talk*
*"I'm a big girl, thanks. ", she had already said in a previous paragraph "I'm a big girl but okay."*
Notes:
*the scene where Pete goes to pick up Sam at her house and the door opens on her in a dress, you have a perfect example of a "male gaze" shot here
It's totally okay to do it as a human in a private setting like this, but there are too many representations of this tracking shot on women's bodies in movies and TV shows, and always on the same people (women) and of the same gabari (blonde, thin, white, able-bodied)*
*victims of sexual violence don't have a sign with their trauma written on it*
*Why did I imagine Carter's character being sexually abused? First, because this is a recurring scenario in Stargate fanfics (especially the Sam/Jack romance) and the rape culture doesn't help. It's often Jack who rapes her but it was "okay" because they love each other (see my FAQ "the Sam/Jack romance" where I explain it in more detail). Secondly because the rape culture is very present in Stargate, and we'll review all that together.
There are other reasons and you will discover them by reading on.*
Bonus: *Click here*
TW: *sexually explicit content* *mention of bodily fluids*
CW: *fatphobia* *mention of PTSD* *mention of sexual violence from previous paragraph* *mention of death* *mention of war* *mention of scars and wounds*
He glanced at his watch and concluded that he had to choose between getting up or saying goodbye to his training. He turned to her and his choice was made. The first rays of the sun dazzling her peacefully sleeping face, he took the time to admire her, smiled at the marks of the pillow on her skin and her disheveled hair spikes.
The conversation of the day before struck him in the heart and his nausea went up. He wondered again who was responsible and tried to pull himself together. His traumas did not define her, even if they should not be forgotten. He got up and went to make them two cups of coffee. He put them on the bedside table, sat down on the bed and raised his arm to play with the shadows on her face for a gentle awakening. She groaned and finally opened her eyes painfully.
Jack lowered his arm: I have to go.
Sam, with difficulty: Hey. (she closed her eyes, mouth pasty) Need... Coffee.
Jack: Here. (she made a sound but felt herself falling asleep again) You can still enjoy. (he brushed her forearm and gently moved up to her shoulder until he reached the fabric) I'm gonna need my T-shirt.
She took a deep breath to snap out of her drowsiness. With her eyes still closed, she slid her hand down what appeared to be his thigh. He spasmed with surprise and tried to keep control.
Jack: Okay. “Enjoy”. My bad.
With her neurons finally connected enough, she thought to herself that perhaps this contact was indeed inappropriate.
Sam turned to him and whispered: Sorry. (she rubbed her face to wake up and sat up painfully) Hummmpf.
Jack handed her the cup: Good morning, Sunshine.
Sam grabbed the cup: Thank you.
Jack: Instant.
Sam: I'll live.
She took several sips and winced at the taste. He withdrew what once again appeared to be a gnat, took a sip, then looked up at her. She seemed lost in thought, her eyes darting in his direction.
Jack, a hint of concern in his voice: Should I order you some breakfast?
She emerged and understood the misunderstanding. She did not dare to admit to him the reason for her reverie, that is to say the excitement provoked at the sight of his naked chest. She rested the cup on the bedside table, hesitated one moment, then approached him. He put his cup beside his and made the remaining centimeters towards his lips. She invited him to lie on his back, stopped the kiss and looked at him with a slight smile.
Sam: Hi.
Jack: Hi.
To hell with the breakfast, she said to herself, it will be my meal. She kissed him more passionately, explored his chest with caresses and he felt his morning erection increasing. Intimidated, he put a hand on the back of his skull and accentuated the kiss. She brushed his graying hair, broke the kiss to venture her mouth over his cheek, his neck, and came to encompass his earlobe. He groaned and took a deep breath. She noted that the man remained passive and moved aside to stare at him. Jack's fingers burned on her light-bathed face, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Jack: How are you feeling?
Sam opened her eyes and stretched: Good.
He smiled at her answer, reassured. Their lips met, he hid one hand in her blonde hair and the other landed on her T-shirt. She swung a leg over and found herself straddling him. He pressed his hand on her hair in sign of acceptance. Their mouths opened and their tongues touched. They moaned of pleasure in unison, opened their eyes and smiled at their reactions. With this tacit agreement, they closed their eyes again and the kiss became more fiery. He finally decided to take initiative and came to slip his hand under the T-shirt. The skin with skin made them shiver, she detached herself from him and straightened up slowly. He devoured it at the glance, she bit the lower lip to see it thus and the heart of the man accelerated. His eyes seemed to fill with panic.
Sam, worried: What?
Jack shook his head: Nothing. (She questioned him with her eyes and he winced, nervous) It's just... It's you.
She insisted on her interrogation and he shrugged his shoulders. They looked at each other for a moment without knowing what to do, then she put a hand on his cheek and went down to him again with caution. He rested a hand behind his head and pressed slightly to reassure her. She stopped the kiss and smiled at him, he stroked her hair and returned her smile. She straightened up and drew with her fingers the sculpted muscles of her military training. He breathed deeply at ease and took the opportunity to ink the image of her recording every detail meticulously in a corner of his head. He dodged a smile when she insisted her study on his numerous abrasions, one by one, touching them with softness as to look after them. His old wounds with lighter hues contrasted easily with his tanned skin.
She was concerned about a white mark on his left shoulder. It was one of the oldest she knew, but also one of the most visible. Others were foreign to her, probably the blackops, she concluded. He carefully stroked her hips and thighs, up and down, and watched her, concerned, when she stayed a little longer on a wound from the past that they both remembered all too well: The fateful day of Janet's death. The scar of about ten centimeters had almost disappeared and left only a clearer relief. It would surely remain like that for the rest of her life, like an indelible memory.
She went up her hands in his hair and plunged her glance in his chocolate eyes. Oh how stupid he could have been to anguish at the idea that she did not want him considering the way she burned with desire for him at this moment.
He deepened his visit towards the top of her thighs, felt a difference on the left and noticed a huge scratch of about twenty centimeters. Preoccupied, he sought in his memories the origin of this physical traumatism. She swallowed at his change of expression, he raised his head towards her and questioned her with his eyes.
Sam, quietly: A little over a year ago at the Alpha site. (she looked away for a split second) Soldier of Anubis.
He nodded and stroked her to reassure her that he too was not bothered by this. They looked at each other for a few seconds, again intimidated and lost in what they were supposed to do next.
She leaned towards him, took one of his hands to put it on her own neck and guided him. He opened his mouth, and though petrified, his whole body longed to hear what she had in mind. She straightened up and the hand of the military took the direction of her collarbone at the same rhythm as her. His hand always under hers, his breath was cut when they arrived on her left breast. She gently pressed her fingers to tighten his. She closed her eyes and swung her head back. He thought he would faint at the feel of the hard tip through the fabric between two of his fingers.
She took advantage of the flow of dopamine and luliberin sent by her brain. He felt his arousal swell through his underwear and she seemed to become aware of it too as she gradually began to shake her pelvis.
He closed his eyes at the memory of her giving herself an orgasm on his member. He swallowed at the crisis that had followed and the potential reason for her confession of last night. She rested her attention on him when she realized that he was no longer participating. He smiled nervously and she understood what he was thinking. She released his hand, clutched his face and kissed him passionately. He groaned and closed his eyes, feeling her tongue working its way into his mouth, hungry.
After a few seconds, she pulled away from him, straightened up, raised her arms above her and pulled herself out of the T-shirt. Jack's breathing stopped again in front of her bare chest.
Sam stared at the man and took a confident tone: Your T-shirt.
She dropped the T-shirt at his side. He exhaled sharply at the earthquake that had just struck his entire being. He could not detach his glance of her breasts, he who drew up his brain since years to remain professional in front of her to the maximum, she had just annihilated all his efforts. She felt his excitement growing between her legs and smiled slightly. He tilted his head and took a deep breath to regain his composure a little more.
Jack: You're cheating again.
She giggled, he straightened up and grabbed the back of her neck to kiss her briskly. Of a rough hand, he engulfed with precaution one of her breasts, she abruptly detached herself from his lips, bent down and put her head back a second time. A deep moan of delight emanated from her throat and he felt a volcano erupt throughout his flesh. He concludes that it must be an important erogenous zone for her considering her reactions. He shuddered at the sensation of her nipple, hard and so precious, in the heart of his palm, and this time without cotton shield. He had only one more idea: to put it in his mouth to provoke other emotions to her.
How could she be so desirable, he asked himself? He looked at her again to know if she felt well, worried for her. She exhaled deeply to regain her composure and looked at him. She unbent her back but felt the ardor in his underpants, right on her intimacy, and could not help rubbing herself against him while closing her eyes.
He took advantage of it to capture the skin of her neck with his lips, preventing himself from making him several suctions so much his finely salted skin was a treat. His other hand behind the neck of her partner, he accompanied her in support while he descended his kisses in the direction of her chest. She followed his idea and curved a little more her back. She caressed his skull to encourage him in his way. He moaned of the cranial massage and with his tongue titillated her nipple.
Sam moaned in her turn and tilted again her pelvis: Fuck.
She felt a stream of cyprine flowing between her legs. An uneasiness of the fact that she can't control her body upset her, without really understanding why. She did not have this problem before however. He felt her hot liquid through the tissues and a new wave of excitement infiltrated his whole body. He grabbed her buttocks and moved them even closer to him with a moan. He then surrounded her breast of all his mouth, quickly, sucked it, bit it and pulled delicately on it. She planted her nails in the shoulders of the man and lost control of all the situation in front of this too strong desire. All her body burned of envy that he possessed her. Then, in a dash of uncontrollable impulse, she began the same movements of back and forth to spread her desire.
Faced with her fervor, he quickly left her breast for her mouth, their kisses became almost bestial. She bit her lower lip and it was not more: He clamped his hand on her buttock and made her fall on the side to be on her.
Jack broke the kiss and stared at her: We don't have to.
Sam: I know.
He devoured her neck with a kiss, then moved down to her chest again. She arched her back and grabbed what she could with both hands: the fitted sheet in one and the comforter in the other. He admired her reaction and continued his journey, juggling soft kisses, boldly, or only with his tongue. She squirmed with pleasure and her heart quickened.
Jack reached her belly and stopped: What the...? (she tensed and crossed her arms over her chest and stomach, hiding what she could quickly. He straightened up and approached her face, surprised to see her being so modest) A problem?
Sam looked away for a fraction of a second: No. No. I'm sorry.
He could tell that she didn't know how to lie at all in this kind of situation.
Jack as quietly as possible: What?
Sam uncomfortably low: I... got fat.
Jack froze: Uh?
Sam looked away: Hmm.
Jack, stunned, repeated: What?! (he frowned and remembered that she had compared herself with her ex's age) Are you comparing yourself to my ex?
She froze at the insinuation. No, she'd simply gained weight over the past year: Less working out, more dining out. Great, she thought, I'm thinking about Pete and his ex-girlfriend now.
Sam, uncomfortable and offended: Now I am.
Jack, caught off guard: Okay... Um. You know I don't care, right? (that didn't seem to reassure her) Look. I had the same fear last night.
Sam stared at him, incredulous: Uh?
Jack grimaced, looked furtively at his stomach and cleared his throat: Eurh. Let's just say being behind a desk doesn't help.
Sam tilted her head: You look fine.
Jack tilted his head to imitate her: You too. (she smiled shyly but looked away thinking that really this was not the best time to talk about this and that she should have kept her mouth shut) Now if we could talk about that piercing?!
The jewel in the navel was discreet and of the color of her skin to pass unnoticed as much as possible.
Sam closed her eyes and laughed nervously: I know. It's not allowed. Section 3-4C.
Jack smiled wryly: My point, exactly. (She smiled. He kissed her neck and added softly) I didn't remember you having one.
Sam: I did at the same time as Cassie's for her 16th birthday.
Jack whispered: Do you have any other secrets?
She smiled and kissed him, reassured. He resumed his expedition, his kisses became more intense, she moaned and started to pant on his stronger caresses. He accentuated them more on her belly to prove her the opposite of what she could think. Arriving at her crotch, he slipped one of his hands from the bottom of her leg to her panties and scanned the least contraction of her body, in case. He explored her lower abdomen of his mouth, reached her groin, threw him a glance and as soon as he had her agreement he deposited a fast kiss on the wet fabric where her clit was to be. She pushed an intense moan. He waited for her to calm down and removed the underwear with a calculated slowness. Her brain screamed with desire and her heart drummed in her chest. Her cheeks turned red and her body flared up.
He spread a little more her thigh and kissed the inside of it, kneading the other with his free hand. She tightened of pleasure when he joined her intimacy while playing with the hairs of her pubis. Bewitched by her intimate odor, he encompassed delicately with his mouth her big lips and she closed her eyes. He lingered a moment then moved towards her small lips. He pressed his hand on her pubis upwards to free her clitoris. She squirmed from this interminable wait and he released her from her torment. She had the impression that her brain exploded, she clutched once again the sheets of the bed and pushed a deep moan while bending herself. She felt a new flow of cyprine flowing. He took out his tongue, sucked her clit and enjoyed each moan that he provoked her. Soft benediction in his ears, divine melody which he would not have wanted to interrupt for nothing in the world.
She passed a hand in his hair and slowed it down. He joined her mouth and shared her taste with her in an intense kiss. He then stepped aside and they looked at each other for a moment, regaining their composure.
Jack, softly: Can I continue or (he repeated himself) should I order you some breakfast?
She questioned him with her eyes, he lowered his head, then looked at her and licked his lips. A flash of clarity with a hint of panic came over Sam's face.
Sam: Oh! Oh. (She winced nervously and added lower) That.
He dodged a smile at the corners of his lips, amused. She nodded, intimidated.
Jack: Sure?
She nodded again. He kissed her again and straightened up to go back down. She rubbed her face as if to convince herself that she was not in one of her erotic dreams and found it hard to believe that he was putting her first again after all the years of frustration she felt she had put him through.
She tried to regain control of the situation and took several deep breaths. The real problem was that she couldn't control herself. The sensations seemed tenfold with him and the hold he could have on her terrified her. He repositioned himself to continue his last mission which she welcomed with delight. Her breathing quickened and she glanced at him. And she saw him. She saw him. Between her thighs. Kissing her with appetite, eyes riveted on her face. His broad shoulders moved to the rhythm of his duty. At this heavenly vision, she closed her eyes, arched her back and sucked as much air as possible into her lungs. Her body rose mechanically, he took advantage of the occasion to touch the entrance of her vagina with two fingers. She reopened her eyes and her breath stopped. She tilted her hands and grabbed the shoulders of the man. He understood that she was going to come, stopped his caresses and waited for her to signal him to continue.
After some breaths, she nodded towards him and his fingers practiced back and forth for a few centimeters. She made new sounds and concluded that he could skip all the lessons about using a tongue.
She reopened her eyes to him, he planted his free hand in her hip in response, his eyes still watching her face, and intensified his movements. It did not need more, she gripped the sheets and an explosion of endorphins pulverized all her being. She tilted her head back and pushed several moans of uncontrolled euphoria.
Little by little, her body relaxed, her thighs fell softly around him. He lay down beside her and wiped off a discrete movement in his mouth. He looked at her with a broad smile while caressing her shoulder. She took back her calm and her spirits, closed her thighs and realized that she was completely naked. He perceived her sudden agitation, wrapped her in the comforter and she smiled nervously to thank him. He continued to look at her, admiring her would be more accurate.
Sam fled his gaze, intimidated: You... Uh. Don't you want to?
He chuckled, but quickly recovered from Sam's discomfort. He understood that she meant it, and came close to her ear.
Jack whispered: I like to take my time for some things too. (she blew out her nose, he bent his elbow to rest his head and resumed a normal tone) Didn't we just do that?
Sam looked away, uncomfortable with the question, then stammered: F-Foreplay... right?
Jack with slight apprehension:: It's different? (she turned her head towards him) When you have a drink, (he raised a hand) chips, peanuts, popcorn... (she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement) You eat, don't you?
Sam a little puzzled: I'm still hungry.
Jack put his hand on her belly: If you have some space left...
Sam stopped his hand and laughed at the tickle: I'm talking about you!
Jack blew out his nose at the ticklishness of it, and then said: I get it. I doubt that if we stop here, the court martial's decision will be "Case closed for lack of evidence".
Sam exaggerated: "The man did not consume"?
Jack: "Foreplay”. "Foreplay" to what exactly? (he put his hand back on her shoulder and hesitated) But if it makes you feel any better, It was hard to hold back. (she questioned him with her eyes so that he would confirm. He contemplated the whole of her face) Against my wall... (he slipped his hand in her hair and she closed her eyes) Your way of taking pleasure on me... (she reopened her eyes and looked at him. It was Jack's turn to be intimidated. He swallowed and hesitated) I had to go to the bathroom to calm down the first time.
She scanned his face and realized that she had panicked for nothing at that moment. She quickly dismissed the question that had come to her just after: Why had she panicked, anyway? She put a hand on his cheek and kissed him passionately. He breathed deeply when her tongue sought insatiably his and embraced him. Their whole bodies touched and she struggled to pull away from him.
Sam looked into his eyes, low: Permission to play with you?
Jack raised his eyebrows, eagerly: Oh yeah. (he added lower) Have fun.
They smiled at each other at this new habit. She began a slow downward succession of kisses on his chest and reached his lower abdomen.
Jack felt his breath catch: Fuck.
She smiled at the similar reaction she had had a few minutes before and insisted on her kindness. He refused to close his eyes and to lose the least crumb of what she was offering him. Tired of kisses, she put out her tongue. He leaned the head to this vision, almost begging her to be careful in her game. She caressed his thighs in the same way as him and played with the rubber band of his underpants. Much less patient than her and the modesty completely crushed by the desire to see her playing with him, he helped her to withdraw the clothing. He put a hand on her cheek and kissed her. She came to catch delicately his member and began her movements of comings and goings. He stopped the kiss and grabbed her wrist to stop her, a grimace of pain on his face. She froze, worried that she had potentially hurt him.
Jack: It's okay. Just... wait. (He stepped aside, reached into the pocket of his jeans on the floor and grabbed a packet of lube and a condom. He placed the condom on the bedside table and emptied the lube onto his member. He murmured) Okay.
He looked up at her and they kissed gently. She rested her hand on his member and resumed her movements, more carefully. He stopped the kiss and winced again. She froze again and began to anguish to screw up everything. He slipped his other hand behind her neck and came to bring his forehead closer to hers.
Jack murmured: It's all right. (He steeled his hand to match the way he liked to be stroked, as she had done before) Harder. (He invited her to squeeze his fingers tighter but slowed her movements) Slowly.
She carried out her instructions, he closed his eyes and began to pant. With his other hand, he began to stroke his testicles simultaneously and reopened his eyes in surprise as he felt Sam's hand slide over his fingers, questioning him with his eyes. He nodded and showed her the procedure. She took the exercise very seriously and he ended up releasing the ground to her, now reassured of her gestures more adapted to his pleasure.
Jack added even lower: Easy.
She obeyed his request and found it rather amusing that they were both the opposite of what they were every day. She placed a light kiss on his collarbone and he moaned.
Jack: Like this, yeah. Slowly.
She captured his ear, sucked gently on it, and curls emerged all over the man's back. He moaned again and she realized that she had been stressing over nothing in his home by hesitating to tell him how to give her pleasure, each person being different. She herself had struggled to find what she liked with Pete at the beginning of their relationship, her brain having become accustomed to having orgasms only one-on-one with herself.
Jack's breathing quickened, he turned to look on the bedside table for the condom and questioned her with his eyes. She nodded and kissed his shoulder while continuing her caresses. It closed the eyes one fraction of a second then concentrated on the opening of the pack and she released his member so that he can install it. Once finished, he came to kiss her tenderly, and she invited it to position himself on her. He slipped again between her legs and posed a hand near her head in support.
Jack stared at her: Sure? (she nodded) It's not too late.
Sam giggled with all his caution and kissed him: I'm waiting.
He smiled at her playfulness and then entered her warmth with extremely controlled slowness. They fought against their instinct to abandon themselves to ecstasy by closing their eyes and captured to the maximum the reactions that they got to each other. Time seemed to stand still, they moaned in unison, froze and then laughed at their similar reactions. They gave each other some time to regain control.
Jack, quietly: Okay. Perfect, right?
Sam looked at him with a blasé air, almost offended look: You idiot.
Jack, first surprised then amused: You're insulting me a little too much right now.
Sam smiled broadly, then resumed: You're talking too much right now.
It was he who gave her a blasé look this time. She stroked his back to let him know he could continue and he obeyed. It was a pure delight. He devoured her collarbone and in answer, she deposited soft kisses on his shoulder. She began a slow descent of his muscular shoulder blades until his buttocks, with the end of her fingers. The breathing of the man accelerated, he went up the hold of his mouth to her neck and bit her. She arched her back, clenched her teeth and pushed a groan. In retaliation, she took out her tongue and began to lick his neck slowly up to his ear, with a concern to respect his rhythm for the pleasure of his partner but impatient for his own: She accelerated with subtlety his movements of the pelvis.
Jack smiled and looked at her: You want the lead?
Sam pressed her hands on his buttocks: I'm sure I can.
He stopped to tease her and she looked at him with a jaded look. He blew his nose and resumed his movements, slightly faster. She moaned at this delightful initiative and he looked at her tilting her head back.
Jack blew: God, you're beautiful...
He pushed ardently her hips and she groaned of pleasure. She put her two hands on his cheeks and captured his lips. At first surprised, he kept his eyes open then felt his body liquefy when she forced her way in with her tongue. He closed his eyes and their tongues slowly danced together. He groaned and lowered again violently with a blow of hip in her. It had not taken a long time for him to understand what she had concluded some time before on their receptive choices of tempo.
Their bodies warmed up and were quickly covered with a thin layer of sweat. The smell of their perspiration reached their nostrils and it seemed to intoxicate them. She stopped her kiss to arch more and he looked at her, impressed to see her react like that. He wanted to see her come. He wanted to make her cum, him. In all the manners that she would accept. He was aware of the egocentricity of this idea but it did not matter anymore. The sight of this woman moaning under his gestures was now the only thing in the universe worth fighting for. The jerky sound of her breathing, the only song he wanted to hear. Her smooth skin, her aphrodisiac scent and her intimate taste... The exclusive meal of the rest of his life. He increased the intensity of his pressures. Losing all control, she tried to help him in his maneuver but hit her head against the headboard.
Sam winced: Ouch!
He froze. With each of their movements, she was pushed up against the wall. They looked at each other for a few seconds in silence, still motionless, then laughed again.
Jack moved away from her and went down about fifteen centimeters: You all right?
Sam sat back down and giggled at the ridiculousness of the situation: Yeah.
Once back in place, they smiled at each other. With a little hesitation, he moved his face closer and she walked the last few inches. She put a hand on the waist of her partner to invite him to resume his movements and caressed with delicacy the back of his skull of her other hand. He groaned with affection and reached for his penis to prod it, but had some difficulty.
Jack softly: Sorry. (He tried several times and swore to himself) Oh for crying out loud.
She immediately wondered if this had anything to do with what she had said to him the night before or if he didn't want her anymore and felt guilty.
Sam, uncomfortable: Uh.
Jack mumbled still not getting it: You're making me a little nervous. (She froze. He widened his eyes and caught himself) No no. Not your fault. It's me, it's... New. (he exclaimed) With you! (he added further down) Sorry.
Sam noticed his stress, incredulous: Are you putting pressure on yourself?
Jack tilted his head and minimized: A little.
He pulled away from her, exhaled in frustration and removed the useless condom.
Sam straightened up and added: Let's get her down. (He questioned her with his eyes, a little skeptical of her choice of words) I always have several drinks with my aperitif. (He blew out his nose and realized that she was reminding him of his relationship with "foreplay". She grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch) Do we have time?
Jack low: Take it.
Sam smiled and moved a hand to the head of the bed: Step back.
He obeyed and put his back against the cushions. She turned around to face him, he wondered what she was doing but froze when he saw her ass. He emerged when he felt her trying to push her thighs to get between his legs. He tried to banish the memory of her divine backside and concentrated on what she was asking. She plastered her back against his chest and took both his hands in her. He let the fingers of his partner intertwine slightly with his. The palm against its skin, she invited him to traverse her body. She made him clutch one of her breasts and go down gently with her right hand between her legs. She guided his fingers on her clitoris, closed the eyes and rocked her head backwards. He kissed her neck, she pushed two of his fingers toward her entrance and moaned. He smiled at the sight of her body squirming on his and he finally perceived that she was masturbating with his hand. His own hand. He half-opened his mouth and had the impression that he had never experienced anything so erotic. She pushed his fingers into her again and set the pace she wanted. He spread one of her thighs as wide as possible with his other hand and she rested her head against his cheek.
Jack whispered in her ear: I love what I see. (she smiled but kept her eyes closed) Have you done this before?
She opened her eyes again, uncomfortable that he was bringing up her past relationships and nodded with apprehension about being judged on her sexuality. She felt bad that she had lost control so quickly and hadn't thought about the fact that he might judge her on that point now. She prayed that he wouldn't just see her like that from now on, but the man kissed her neck.
Jack: So you really like to take the lead.
Sam blew out her nose and made him squeeze her breast more intensely: Sometimes.
Jack: Interesting. (He continued to obey her orders and accelerated his movements more and more. She turned her head slightly to look at him and he kissed her shoulder) I'm here. I’m here.
She closed her eyes and welcomed the rise of pleasure. He understood that she was having trouble looking at him at a time like this and tried to shake off the idea that she might be ashamed of what she was doing with him. She invited him to put his fingers more in the hook and guessed what she was trying to provoke. He obeyed and felt his tremors of pleasure overwhelm her. She widened her eyes at the sensation of a liquid coming out of her crotch, having never experienced female ejaculation. The sheets were soaked and she rose quickly out of the bed, her panic erasing her modesty. He tilted his head and concluded that no, this was not something she had experienced at all.
Sam: Sorry, sorry!
Jack stepped away from the puddle: It's all right. (He hid it with the quilt and waved his hand) Come back. It's normal and it's okay.
Sam, uncomfortable: I... I'm going to take a shower. I'm sorry.
Jack rested his arm: If you want, but don't be embarrassed about it. It was very exciting. (She questioned him with her eyes and he showed his erection by tilting his head) It's up.
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. He questioned her with his eyes about what she wanted to do. She regained her senses, looked for a condom and handed it to him before lying back in bed. He installed it and came to kiss it. He repositioned himself and penetrated her again.
Sam released the kiss and closed his eyes: Fuck...!
He smiled again at her reaction and began again more intensely.
Jack: Can I pull your leg up?
Sam froze and looked at him in disbelief at his question: What?
Jack: Your leg? Better grip.
Sam, stunned that he asked: Eurh. Yeah. Yeah.
He firmly wrapped one of her thighs around him and was able to accelerate. She blocked out the fact that his request, as banal as it was, turned her on so much. She frowned at the conclusion that a request for consent was considered by her brain as something ultra sexy when it should be normal. He perceived her torment, stopped and questioned her with his eyes. She emerged, smiled at him to reassure him and slipped her hand once again towards her clitoris to combine the pleasure. He delighted in this paradisiacal vision. She felt her orgasm approaching more and more, straightened up to approach his face but did not have time to capture his lips: The angle was perfect and she moaned several times. Her body tightened. She dug the nails of her other hand into the man's flesh.
Jack in a whisper: Sam...
He warned that he was not going to last much longer either. She accelerated her gesture on her nerve, gave up all resistance and let her mind go. She closed her eyes, let out a jerky moan and her body contracted.
Jack begged her: Look at me.
She obeyed and looked into his eyes. Her breath stopped for a moment before she screamed with pleasure. Her vagina contracted on his member. He lost all resistance in his turn and ejaculated. He pushed dull moans and his face took a grimace. She imitated him and contemplated him during his release. The spasms calmed down little by little on both sides. They froze and stared at each other, their brains still filled with hormones of pleasure.
They laughed again impulsively. He put a hand on her crotch to secure the condom and stepped away from her. She grabbed another end of the comforter to remain under in a modest concern and he joined her a few seconds later.
Jack let himself fall heavily: Wow.
He stared at the ceiling for several seconds to regain his composure, then rested his arm on her forehead, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She smiled slightly, raised her head on the cousin with her hand and stared at him. He opened his eyes again and turned his head towards her. He discovered her with a small amused smile. He then turned his whole body towards her to look at her too.
Sam whispered: You're going to be late.
Jack didn't take his eyes off her: It would be suspicious if I wasn't.
She smiled and it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in his life. He put back a lock of hair that fell in front of his eyes and she liked this new habit so intimate that he allowed himself to do it from now on. He guessed her thoughts and smiled.
Sam mischievously: What are you smiling at?
The man's face broke down as he heard those words come out of her mouth again. His hand hung in the air, transfixed. She frowned and began to panic internally.
Jack stood up: Nothing. (he raised a hand slightly to reassure her) A memory.
Sam, half-curious and half-fearful of her reaction, said quietly: Which one?
Jack: Nothing. You all right?
Sam smiled and lowered her head, again intimidated: I’m fine. (She raised her head and looked at him skeptically) You?
Jack gave his half smile: Not bad. (she smiled again and looked at him falsely jaded by this easy answer that allowed him not to really answer the question) More than not bad. (she looked at him curiously and tried to guess his next joke) Really, really, (he insisted) really not bad. (she rolled her eyes) Thanks for the shirt. (she couldn't help laughing and kissed him to shut him up. He put his hand on her cheek and deepened the kiss. Then he slowly pulled away, looked at his watch and let his arm fall limply) I really have to go. You wanna.. well... tonight?
Sam nodded: Tonight.
Jack nodded and straightened up: I'll send you the address. (he picked up the phone from the bedside table) ‘morning. Can you send up some breakfast, please? (she smiles at his attention) Ya. With real coffee. (She chuckled) Thank you.
He hung up, grabbed his things and went to take his shower. He then retrieved the tray from behind the door and placed it on the bed.
Sam: Thank you.
Jack put on his jacket: Good luck with your conference.
Her stomach knotted but she nodded and smiled for appearances sake.
Echo:
*enjoy*
*Should I order you some breakfast?*
*You all right?*
*nothing*
*foreplay*
*around food: appetite, breakfast, hungry, chips, peanuts, popcorn, eat, consume, meal…*
*A little*
*take my time / the first time / It's not too late / I'm waiting / Time seemed to stand still / Do we have time? / You're going to be late. *
*sure?*
*too much right now.*
*Slowly, easy*
*not bad / my bad*
*tonight*
*fuck*
*take the lead*
Notes:
*This block of text is a bit long, but I tried to work on a lot of points that I read quite often in fanfiction and to make a better representation of consensual sex acts. I'll write a blog post in details about NC17 fanfiction because there is unfortunately a lot to say*
*Article: Pleasure beyond penetration (source)*
*Article: Yes to sexual pleasure as a human right, no to orgasm as an injunction! (source)*
*Article: Does sex have to involve penetration? The idea of it makes me totally sick. (source)*
*Article: 'Fear of the Clit': A Brief History of Medical Books Erasing Women's Genitalia (source)*
*Study: 10 281 is the number of nerve fibers in the clitoris, 20% more than the previous estimate. (source)*
*Article: Like every other part of your body, everyone’s penis and testicles are different, but worrying about what’s ‘normal’ is really common. Many people worry about the size of their penis, and feel self-conscious that it’s perhaps too small. However this is often due to the fact that people exaggerate or over-estimate the average size of a penis. (source)*
*Article: The taboos of women's sexual health (source)*
*Article: Consent isn’t sexy, it’s mandatory (source)*
CW: *fatphobia* *mention of PTSD* *mention of sexual violence from previous paragraph* *mention of death* *mention of war* *mention of scars and wounds*
He glanced at his watch and concluded that he had to choose between getting up or saying goodbye to his training. He turned to her and his choice was made. The first rays of the sun dazzling her peacefully sleeping face, he took the time to admire her, smiled at the marks of the pillow on her skin and her disheveled hair spikes.
The conversation of the day before struck him in the heart and his nausea went up. He wondered again who was responsible and tried to pull himself together. His traumas did not define her, even if they should not be forgotten. He got up and went to make them two cups of coffee. He put them on the bedside table, sat down on the bed and raised his arm to play with the shadows on her face for a gentle awakening. She groaned and finally opened her eyes painfully.
Jack lowered his arm: I have to go.
Sam, with difficulty: Hey. (she closed her eyes, mouth pasty) Need... Coffee.
Jack: Here. (she made a sound but felt herself falling asleep again) You can still enjoy. (he brushed her forearm and gently moved up to her shoulder until he reached the fabric) I'm gonna need my T-shirt.
She took a deep breath to snap out of her drowsiness. With her eyes still closed, she slid her hand down what appeared to be his thigh. He spasmed with surprise and tried to keep control.
Jack: Okay. “Enjoy”. My bad.
With her neurons finally connected enough, she thought to herself that perhaps this contact was indeed inappropriate.
Sam turned to him and whispered: Sorry. (she rubbed her face to wake up and sat up painfully) Hummmpf.
Jack handed her the cup: Good morning, Sunshine.
Sam grabbed the cup: Thank you.
Jack: Instant.
Sam: I'll live.
She took several sips and winced at the taste. He withdrew what once again appeared to be a gnat, took a sip, then looked up at her. She seemed lost in thought, her eyes darting in his direction.
Jack, a hint of concern in his voice: Should I order you some breakfast?
She emerged and understood the misunderstanding. She did not dare to admit to him the reason for her reverie, that is to say the excitement provoked at the sight of his naked chest. She rested the cup on the bedside table, hesitated one moment, then approached him. He put his cup beside his and made the remaining centimeters towards his lips. She invited him to lie on his back, stopped the kiss and looked at him with a slight smile.
Sam: Hi.
Jack: Hi.
To hell with the breakfast, she said to herself, it will be my meal. She kissed him more passionately, explored his chest with caresses and he felt his morning erection increasing. Intimidated, he put a hand on the back of his skull and accentuated the kiss. She brushed his graying hair, broke the kiss to venture her mouth over his cheek, his neck, and came to encompass his earlobe. He groaned and took a deep breath. She noted that the man remained passive and moved aside to stare at him. Jack's fingers burned on her light-bathed face, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Jack: How are you feeling?
Sam opened her eyes and stretched: Good.
He smiled at her answer, reassured. Their lips met, he hid one hand in her blonde hair and the other landed on her T-shirt. She swung a leg over and found herself straddling him. He pressed his hand on her hair in sign of acceptance. Their mouths opened and their tongues touched. They moaned of pleasure in unison, opened their eyes and smiled at their reactions. With this tacit agreement, they closed their eyes again and the kiss became more fiery. He finally decided to take initiative and came to slip his hand under the T-shirt. The skin with skin made them shiver, she detached herself from him and straightened up slowly. He devoured it at the glance, she bit the lower lip to see it thus and the heart of the man accelerated. His eyes seemed to fill with panic.
Sam, worried: What?
Jack shook his head: Nothing. (She questioned him with her eyes and he winced, nervous) It's just... It's you.
She insisted on her interrogation and he shrugged his shoulders. They looked at each other for a moment without knowing what to do, then she put a hand on his cheek and went down to him again with caution. He rested a hand behind his head and pressed slightly to reassure her. She stopped the kiss and smiled at him, he stroked her hair and returned her smile. She straightened up and drew with her fingers the sculpted muscles of her military training. He breathed deeply at ease and took the opportunity to ink the image of her recording every detail meticulously in a corner of his head. He dodged a smile when she insisted her study on his numerous abrasions, one by one, touching them with softness as to look after them. His old wounds with lighter hues contrasted easily with his tanned skin.
She was concerned about a white mark on his left shoulder. It was one of the oldest she knew, but also one of the most visible. Others were foreign to her, probably the blackops, she concluded. He carefully stroked her hips and thighs, up and down, and watched her, concerned, when she stayed a little longer on a wound from the past that they both remembered all too well: The fateful day of Janet's death. The scar of about ten centimeters had almost disappeared and left only a clearer relief. It would surely remain like that for the rest of her life, like an indelible memory.
She went up her hands in his hair and plunged her glance in his chocolate eyes. Oh how stupid he could have been to anguish at the idea that she did not want him considering the way she burned with desire for him at this moment.
He deepened his visit towards the top of her thighs, felt a difference on the left and noticed a huge scratch of about twenty centimeters. Preoccupied, he sought in his memories the origin of this physical traumatism. She swallowed at his change of expression, he raised his head towards her and questioned her with his eyes.
Sam, quietly: A little over a year ago at the Alpha site. (she looked away for a split second) Soldier of Anubis.
He nodded and stroked her to reassure her that he too was not bothered by this. They looked at each other for a few seconds, again intimidated and lost in what they were supposed to do next.
She leaned towards him, took one of his hands to put it on her own neck and guided him. He opened his mouth, and though petrified, his whole body longed to hear what she had in mind. She straightened up and the hand of the military took the direction of her collarbone at the same rhythm as her. His hand always under hers, his breath was cut when they arrived on her left breast. She gently pressed her fingers to tighten his. She closed her eyes and swung her head back. He thought he would faint at the feel of the hard tip through the fabric between two of his fingers.
She took advantage of the flow of dopamine and luliberin sent by her brain. He felt his arousal swell through his underwear and she seemed to become aware of it too as she gradually began to shake her pelvis.
He closed his eyes at the memory of her giving herself an orgasm on his member. He swallowed at the crisis that had followed and the potential reason for her confession of last night. She rested her attention on him when she realized that he was no longer participating. He smiled nervously and she understood what he was thinking. She released his hand, clutched his face and kissed him passionately. He groaned and closed his eyes, feeling her tongue working its way into his mouth, hungry.
After a few seconds, she pulled away from him, straightened up, raised her arms above her and pulled herself out of the T-shirt. Jack's breathing stopped again in front of her bare chest.
Sam stared at the man and took a confident tone: Your T-shirt.
She dropped the T-shirt at his side. He exhaled sharply at the earthquake that had just struck his entire being. He could not detach his glance of her breasts, he who drew up his brain since years to remain professional in front of her to the maximum, she had just annihilated all his efforts. She felt his excitement growing between her legs and smiled slightly. He tilted his head and took a deep breath to regain his composure a little more.
Jack: You're cheating again.
She giggled, he straightened up and grabbed the back of her neck to kiss her briskly. Of a rough hand, he engulfed with precaution one of her breasts, she abruptly detached herself from his lips, bent down and put her head back a second time. A deep moan of delight emanated from her throat and he felt a volcano erupt throughout his flesh. He concludes that it must be an important erogenous zone for her considering her reactions. He shuddered at the sensation of her nipple, hard and so precious, in the heart of his palm, and this time without cotton shield. He had only one more idea: to put it in his mouth to provoke other emotions to her.
How could she be so desirable, he asked himself? He looked at her again to know if she felt well, worried for her. She exhaled deeply to regain her composure and looked at him. She unbent her back but felt the ardor in his underpants, right on her intimacy, and could not help rubbing herself against him while closing her eyes.
He took advantage of it to capture the skin of her neck with his lips, preventing himself from making him several suctions so much his finely salted skin was a treat. His other hand behind the neck of her partner, he accompanied her in support while he descended his kisses in the direction of her chest. She followed his idea and curved a little more her back. She caressed his skull to encourage him in his way. He moaned of the cranial massage and with his tongue titillated her nipple.
Sam moaned in her turn and tilted again her pelvis: Fuck.
She felt a stream of cyprine flowing between her legs. An uneasiness of the fact that she can't control her body upset her, without really understanding why. She did not have this problem before however. He felt her hot liquid through the tissues and a new wave of excitement infiltrated his whole body. He grabbed her buttocks and moved them even closer to him with a moan. He then surrounded her breast of all his mouth, quickly, sucked it, bit it and pulled delicately on it. She planted her nails in the shoulders of the man and lost control of all the situation in front of this too strong desire. All her body burned of envy that he possessed her. Then, in a dash of uncontrollable impulse, she began the same movements of back and forth to spread her desire.
Faced with her fervor, he quickly left her breast for her mouth, their kisses became almost bestial. She bit her lower lip and it was not more: He clamped his hand on her buttock and made her fall on the side to be on her.
Jack broke the kiss and stared at her: We don't have to.
Sam: I know.
He devoured her neck with a kiss, then moved down to her chest again. She arched her back and grabbed what she could with both hands: the fitted sheet in one and the comforter in the other. He admired her reaction and continued his journey, juggling soft kisses, boldly, or only with his tongue. She squirmed with pleasure and her heart quickened.
Jack reached her belly and stopped: What the...? (she tensed and crossed her arms over her chest and stomach, hiding what she could quickly. He straightened up and approached her face, surprised to see her being so modest) A problem?
Sam looked away for a fraction of a second: No. No. I'm sorry.
He could tell that she didn't know how to lie at all in this kind of situation.
Jack as quietly as possible: What?
Sam uncomfortably low: I... got fat.
Jack froze: Uh?
Sam looked away: Hmm.
Jack, stunned, repeated: What?! (he frowned and remembered that she had compared herself with her ex's age) Are you comparing yourself to my ex?
She froze at the insinuation. No, she'd simply gained weight over the past year: Less working out, more dining out. Great, she thought, I'm thinking about Pete and his ex-girlfriend now.
Sam, uncomfortable and offended: Now I am.
Jack, caught off guard: Okay... Um. You know I don't care, right? (that didn't seem to reassure her) Look. I had the same fear last night.
Sam stared at him, incredulous: Uh?
Jack grimaced, looked furtively at his stomach and cleared his throat: Eurh. Let's just say being behind a desk doesn't help.
Sam tilted her head: You look fine.
Jack tilted his head to imitate her: You too. (she smiled shyly but looked away thinking that really this was not the best time to talk about this and that she should have kept her mouth shut) Now if we could talk about that piercing?!
The jewel in the navel was discreet and of the color of her skin to pass unnoticed as much as possible.
Sam closed her eyes and laughed nervously: I know. It's not allowed. Section 3-4C.
Jack smiled wryly: My point, exactly. (She smiled. He kissed her neck and added softly) I didn't remember you having one.
Sam: I did at the same time as Cassie's for her 16th birthday.
Jack whispered: Do you have any other secrets?
She smiled and kissed him, reassured. He resumed his expedition, his kisses became more intense, she moaned and started to pant on his stronger caresses. He accentuated them more on her belly to prove her the opposite of what she could think. Arriving at her crotch, he slipped one of his hands from the bottom of her leg to her panties and scanned the least contraction of her body, in case. He explored her lower abdomen of his mouth, reached her groin, threw him a glance and as soon as he had her agreement he deposited a fast kiss on the wet fabric where her clit was to be. She pushed an intense moan. He waited for her to calm down and removed the underwear with a calculated slowness. Her brain screamed with desire and her heart drummed in her chest. Her cheeks turned red and her body flared up.
He spread a little more her thigh and kissed the inside of it, kneading the other with his free hand. She tightened of pleasure when he joined her intimacy while playing with the hairs of her pubis. Bewitched by her intimate odor, he encompassed delicately with his mouth her big lips and she closed her eyes. He lingered a moment then moved towards her small lips. He pressed his hand on her pubis upwards to free her clitoris. She squirmed from this interminable wait and he released her from her torment. She had the impression that her brain exploded, she clutched once again the sheets of the bed and pushed a deep moan while bending herself. She felt a new flow of cyprine flowing. He took out his tongue, sucked her clit and enjoyed each moan that he provoked her. Soft benediction in his ears, divine melody which he would not have wanted to interrupt for nothing in the world.
She passed a hand in his hair and slowed it down. He joined her mouth and shared her taste with her in an intense kiss. He then stepped aside and they looked at each other for a moment, regaining their composure.
Jack, softly: Can I continue or (he repeated himself) should I order you some breakfast?
She questioned him with her eyes, he lowered his head, then looked at her and licked his lips. A flash of clarity with a hint of panic came over Sam's face.
Sam: Oh! Oh. (She winced nervously and added lower) That.
He dodged a smile at the corners of his lips, amused. She nodded, intimidated.
Jack: Sure?
She nodded again. He kissed her again and straightened up to go back down. She rubbed her face as if to convince herself that she was not in one of her erotic dreams and found it hard to believe that he was putting her first again after all the years of frustration she felt she had put him through.
She tried to regain control of the situation and took several deep breaths. The real problem was that she couldn't control herself. The sensations seemed tenfold with him and the hold he could have on her terrified her. He repositioned himself to continue his last mission which she welcomed with delight. Her breathing quickened and she glanced at him. And she saw him. She saw him. Between her thighs. Kissing her with appetite, eyes riveted on her face. His broad shoulders moved to the rhythm of his duty. At this heavenly vision, she closed her eyes, arched her back and sucked as much air as possible into her lungs. Her body rose mechanically, he took advantage of the occasion to touch the entrance of her vagina with two fingers. She reopened her eyes and her breath stopped. She tilted her hands and grabbed the shoulders of the man. He understood that she was going to come, stopped his caresses and waited for her to signal him to continue.
After some breaths, she nodded towards him and his fingers practiced back and forth for a few centimeters. She made new sounds and concluded that he could skip all the lessons about using a tongue.
She reopened her eyes to him, he planted his free hand in her hip in response, his eyes still watching her face, and intensified his movements. It did not need more, she gripped the sheets and an explosion of endorphins pulverized all her being. She tilted her head back and pushed several moans of uncontrolled euphoria.
Little by little, her body relaxed, her thighs fell softly around him. He lay down beside her and wiped off a discrete movement in his mouth. He looked at her with a broad smile while caressing her shoulder. She took back her calm and her spirits, closed her thighs and realized that she was completely naked. He perceived her sudden agitation, wrapped her in the comforter and she smiled nervously to thank him. He continued to look at her, admiring her would be more accurate.
Sam fled his gaze, intimidated: You... Uh. Don't you want to?
He chuckled, but quickly recovered from Sam's discomfort. He understood that she meant it, and came close to her ear.
Jack whispered: I like to take my time for some things too. (she blew out her nose, he bent his elbow to rest his head and resumed a normal tone) Didn't we just do that?
Sam looked away, uncomfortable with the question, then stammered: F-Foreplay... right?
Jack with slight apprehension:: It's different? (she turned her head towards him) When you have a drink, (he raised a hand) chips, peanuts, popcorn... (she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement) You eat, don't you?
Sam a little puzzled: I'm still hungry.
Jack put his hand on her belly: If you have some space left...
Sam stopped his hand and laughed at the tickle: I'm talking about you!
Jack blew out his nose at the ticklishness of it, and then said: I get it. I doubt that if we stop here, the court martial's decision will be "Case closed for lack of evidence".
Sam exaggerated: "The man did not consume"?
Jack: "Foreplay”. "Foreplay" to what exactly? (he put his hand back on her shoulder and hesitated) But if it makes you feel any better, It was hard to hold back. (she questioned him with her eyes so that he would confirm. He contemplated the whole of her face) Against my wall... (he slipped his hand in her hair and she closed her eyes) Your way of taking pleasure on me... (she reopened her eyes and looked at him. It was Jack's turn to be intimidated. He swallowed and hesitated) I had to go to the bathroom to calm down the first time.
She scanned his face and realized that she had panicked for nothing at that moment. She quickly dismissed the question that had come to her just after: Why had she panicked, anyway? She put a hand on his cheek and kissed him passionately. He breathed deeply when her tongue sought insatiably his and embraced him. Their whole bodies touched and she struggled to pull away from him.
Sam looked into his eyes, low: Permission to play with you?
Jack raised his eyebrows, eagerly: Oh yeah. (he added lower) Have fun.
They smiled at each other at this new habit. She began a slow downward succession of kisses on his chest and reached his lower abdomen.
Jack felt his breath catch: Fuck.
She smiled at the similar reaction she had had a few minutes before and insisted on her kindness. He refused to close his eyes and to lose the least crumb of what she was offering him. Tired of kisses, she put out her tongue. He leaned the head to this vision, almost begging her to be careful in her game. She caressed his thighs in the same way as him and played with the rubber band of his underpants. Much less patient than her and the modesty completely crushed by the desire to see her playing with him, he helped her to withdraw the clothing. He put a hand on her cheek and kissed her. She came to catch delicately his member and began her movements of comings and goings. He stopped the kiss and grabbed her wrist to stop her, a grimace of pain on his face. She froze, worried that she had potentially hurt him.
Jack: It's okay. Just... wait. (He stepped aside, reached into the pocket of his jeans on the floor and grabbed a packet of lube and a condom. He placed the condom on the bedside table and emptied the lube onto his member. He murmured) Okay.
He looked up at her and they kissed gently. She rested her hand on his member and resumed her movements, more carefully. He stopped the kiss and winced again. She froze again and began to anguish to screw up everything. He slipped his other hand behind her neck and came to bring his forehead closer to hers.
Jack murmured: It's all right. (He steeled his hand to match the way he liked to be stroked, as she had done before) Harder. (He invited her to squeeze his fingers tighter but slowed her movements) Slowly.
She carried out her instructions, he closed his eyes and began to pant. With his other hand, he began to stroke his testicles simultaneously and reopened his eyes in surprise as he felt Sam's hand slide over his fingers, questioning him with his eyes. He nodded and showed her the procedure. She took the exercise very seriously and he ended up releasing the ground to her, now reassured of her gestures more adapted to his pleasure.
Jack added even lower: Easy.
She obeyed his request and found it rather amusing that they were both the opposite of what they were every day. She placed a light kiss on his collarbone and he moaned.
Jack: Like this, yeah. Slowly.
She captured his ear, sucked gently on it, and curls emerged all over the man's back. He moaned again and she realized that she had been stressing over nothing in his home by hesitating to tell him how to give her pleasure, each person being different. She herself had struggled to find what she liked with Pete at the beginning of their relationship, her brain having become accustomed to having orgasms only one-on-one with herself.
Jack's breathing quickened, he turned to look on the bedside table for the condom and questioned her with his eyes. She nodded and kissed his shoulder while continuing her caresses. It closed the eyes one fraction of a second then concentrated on the opening of the pack and she released his member so that he can install it. Once finished, he came to kiss her tenderly, and she invited it to position himself on her. He slipped again between her legs and posed a hand near her head in support.
Jack stared at her: Sure? (she nodded) It's not too late.
Sam giggled with all his caution and kissed him: I'm waiting.
He smiled at her playfulness and then entered her warmth with extremely controlled slowness. They fought against their instinct to abandon themselves to ecstasy by closing their eyes and captured to the maximum the reactions that they got to each other. Time seemed to stand still, they moaned in unison, froze and then laughed at their similar reactions. They gave each other some time to regain control.
Jack, quietly: Okay. Perfect, right?
Sam looked at him with a blasé air, almost offended look: You idiot.
Jack, first surprised then amused: You're insulting me a little too much right now.
Sam smiled broadly, then resumed: You're talking too much right now.
It was he who gave her a blasé look this time. She stroked his back to let him know he could continue and he obeyed. It was a pure delight. He devoured her collarbone and in answer, she deposited soft kisses on his shoulder. She began a slow descent of his muscular shoulder blades until his buttocks, with the end of her fingers. The breathing of the man accelerated, he went up the hold of his mouth to her neck and bit her. She arched her back, clenched her teeth and pushed a groan. In retaliation, she took out her tongue and began to lick his neck slowly up to his ear, with a concern to respect his rhythm for the pleasure of his partner but impatient for his own: She accelerated with subtlety his movements of the pelvis.
Jack smiled and looked at her: You want the lead?
Sam pressed her hands on his buttocks: I'm sure I can.
He stopped to tease her and she looked at him with a jaded look. He blew his nose and resumed his movements, slightly faster. She moaned at this delightful initiative and he looked at her tilting her head back.
Jack blew: God, you're beautiful...
He pushed ardently her hips and she groaned of pleasure. She put her two hands on his cheeks and captured his lips. At first surprised, he kept his eyes open then felt his body liquefy when she forced her way in with her tongue. He closed his eyes and their tongues slowly danced together. He groaned and lowered again violently with a blow of hip in her. It had not taken a long time for him to understand what she had concluded some time before on their receptive choices of tempo.
Their bodies warmed up and were quickly covered with a thin layer of sweat. The smell of their perspiration reached their nostrils and it seemed to intoxicate them. She stopped her kiss to arch more and he looked at her, impressed to see her react like that. He wanted to see her come. He wanted to make her cum, him. In all the manners that she would accept. He was aware of the egocentricity of this idea but it did not matter anymore. The sight of this woman moaning under his gestures was now the only thing in the universe worth fighting for. The jerky sound of her breathing, the only song he wanted to hear. Her smooth skin, her aphrodisiac scent and her intimate taste... The exclusive meal of the rest of his life. He increased the intensity of his pressures. Losing all control, she tried to help him in his maneuver but hit her head against the headboard.
Sam winced: Ouch!
He froze. With each of their movements, she was pushed up against the wall. They looked at each other for a few seconds in silence, still motionless, then laughed again.
Jack moved away from her and went down about fifteen centimeters: You all right?
Sam sat back down and giggled at the ridiculousness of the situation: Yeah.
Once back in place, they smiled at each other. With a little hesitation, he moved his face closer and she walked the last few inches. She put a hand on the waist of her partner to invite him to resume his movements and caressed with delicacy the back of his skull of her other hand. He groaned with affection and reached for his penis to prod it, but had some difficulty.
Jack softly: Sorry. (He tried several times and swore to himself) Oh for crying out loud.
She immediately wondered if this had anything to do with what she had said to him the night before or if he didn't want her anymore and felt guilty.
Sam, uncomfortable: Uh.
Jack mumbled still not getting it: You're making me a little nervous. (She froze. He widened his eyes and caught himself) No no. Not your fault. It's me, it's... New. (he exclaimed) With you! (he added further down) Sorry.
Sam noticed his stress, incredulous: Are you putting pressure on yourself?
Jack tilted his head and minimized: A little.
He pulled away from her, exhaled in frustration and removed the useless condom.
Sam straightened up and added: Let's get her down. (He questioned her with his eyes, a little skeptical of her choice of words) I always have several drinks with my aperitif. (He blew out his nose and realized that she was reminding him of his relationship with "foreplay". She grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch) Do we have time?
Jack low: Take it.
Sam smiled and moved a hand to the head of the bed: Step back.
He obeyed and put his back against the cushions. She turned around to face him, he wondered what she was doing but froze when he saw her ass. He emerged when he felt her trying to push her thighs to get between his legs. He tried to banish the memory of her divine backside and concentrated on what she was asking. She plastered her back against his chest and took both his hands in her. He let the fingers of his partner intertwine slightly with his. The palm against its skin, she invited him to traverse her body. She made him clutch one of her breasts and go down gently with her right hand between her legs. She guided his fingers on her clitoris, closed the eyes and rocked her head backwards. He kissed her neck, she pushed two of his fingers toward her entrance and moaned. He smiled at the sight of her body squirming on his and he finally perceived that she was masturbating with his hand. His own hand. He half-opened his mouth and had the impression that he had never experienced anything so erotic. She pushed his fingers into her again and set the pace she wanted. He spread one of her thighs as wide as possible with his other hand and she rested her head against his cheek.
Jack whispered in her ear: I love what I see. (she smiled but kept her eyes closed) Have you done this before?
She opened her eyes again, uncomfortable that he was bringing up her past relationships and nodded with apprehension about being judged on her sexuality. She felt bad that she had lost control so quickly and hadn't thought about the fact that he might judge her on that point now. She prayed that he wouldn't just see her like that from now on, but the man kissed her neck.
Jack: So you really like to take the lead.
Sam blew out her nose and made him squeeze her breast more intensely: Sometimes.
Jack: Interesting. (He continued to obey her orders and accelerated his movements more and more. She turned her head slightly to look at him and he kissed her shoulder) I'm here. I’m here.
She closed her eyes and welcomed the rise of pleasure. He understood that she was having trouble looking at him at a time like this and tried to shake off the idea that she might be ashamed of what she was doing with him. She invited him to put his fingers more in the hook and guessed what she was trying to provoke. He obeyed and felt his tremors of pleasure overwhelm her. She widened her eyes at the sensation of a liquid coming out of her crotch, having never experienced female ejaculation. The sheets were soaked and she rose quickly out of the bed, her panic erasing her modesty. He tilted his head and concluded that no, this was not something she had experienced at all.
Sam: Sorry, sorry!
Jack stepped away from the puddle: It's all right. (He hid it with the quilt and waved his hand) Come back. It's normal and it's okay.
Sam, uncomfortable: I... I'm going to take a shower. I'm sorry.
Jack rested his arm: If you want, but don't be embarrassed about it. It was very exciting. (She questioned him with her eyes and he showed his erection by tilting his head) It's up.
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. He questioned her with his eyes about what she wanted to do. She regained her senses, looked for a condom and handed it to him before lying back in bed. He installed it and came to kiss it. He repositioned himself and penetrated her again.
Sam released the kiss and closed his eyes: Fuck...!
He smiled again at her reaction and began again more intensely.
Jack: Can I pull your leg up?
Sam froze and looked at him in disbelief at his question: What?
Jack: Your leg? Better grip.
Sam, stunned that he asked: Eurh. Yeah. Yeah.
He firmly wrapped one of her thighs around him and was able to accelerate. She blocked out the fact that his request, as banal as it was, turned her on so much. She frowned at the conclusion that a request for consent was considered by her brain as something ultra sexy when it should be normal. He perceived her torment, stopped and questioned her with his eyes. She emerged, smiled at him to reassure him and slipped her hand once again towards her clitoris to combine the pleasure. He delighted in this paradisiacal vision. She felt her orgasm approaching more and more, straightened up to approach his face but did not have time to capture his lips: The angle was perfect and she moaned several times. Her body tightened. She dug the nails of her other hand into the man's flesh.
Jack in a whisper: Sam...
He warned that he was not going to last much longer either. She accelerated her gesture on her nerve, gave up all resistance and let her mind go. She closed her eyes, let out a jerky moan and her body contracted.
Jack begged her: Look at me.
She obeyed and looked into his eyes. Her breath stopped for a moment before she screamed with pleasure. Her vagina contracted on his member. He lost all resistance in his turn and ejaculated. He pushed dull moans and his face took a grimace. She imitated him and contemplated him during his release. The spasms calmed down little by little on both sides. They froze and stared at each other, their brains still filled with hormones of pleasure.
They laughed again impulsively. He put a hand on her crotch to secure the condom and stepped away from her. She grabbed another end of the comforter to remain under in a modest concern and he joined her a few seconds later.
Jack let himself fall heavily: Wow.
He stared at the ceiling for several seconds to regain his composure, then rested his arm on her forehead, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She smiled slightly, raised her head on the cousin with her hand and stared at him. He opened his eyes again and turned his head towards her. He discovered her with a small amused smile. He then turned his whole body towards her to look at her too.
Sam whispered: You're going to be late.
Jack didn't take his eyes off her: It would be suspicious if I wasn't.
She smiled and it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in his life. He put back a lock of hair that fell in front of his eyes and she liked this new habit so intimate that he allowed himself to do it from now on. He guessed her thoughts and smiled.
Sam mischievously: What are you smiling at?
The man's face broke down as he heard those words come out of her mouth again. His hand hung in the air, transfixed. She frowned and began to panic internally.
Jack stood up: Nothing. (he raised a hand slightly to reassure her) A memory.
Sam, half-curious and half-fearful of her reaction, said quietly: Which one?
Jack: Nothing. You all right?
Sam smiled and lowered her head, again intimidated: I’m fine. (She raised her head and looked at him skeptically) You?
Jack gave his half smile: Not bad. (she smiled again and looked at him falsely jaded by this easy answer that allowed him not to really answer the question) More than not bad. (she looked at him curiously and tried to guess his next joke) Really, really, (he insisted) really not bad. (she rolled her eyes) Thanks for the shirt. (she couldn't help laughing and kissed him to shut him up. He put his hand on her cheek and deepened the kiss. Then he slowly pulled away, looked at his watch and let his arm fall limply) I really have to go. You wanna.. well... tonight?
Sam nodded: Tonight.
Jack nodded and straightened up: I'll send you the address. (he picked up the phone from the bedside table) ‘morning. Can you send up some breakfast, please? (she smiles at his attention) Ya. With real coffee. (She chuckled) Thank you.
He hung up, grabbed his things and went to take his shower. He then retrieved the tray from behind the door and placed it on the bed.
Sam: Thank you.
Jack put on his jacket: Good luck with your conference.
Her stomach knotted but she nodded and smiled for appearances sake.
Echo:
*enjoy*
*Should I order you some breakfast?*
*You all right?*
*nothing*
*foreplay*
*around food: appetite, breakfast, hungry, chips, peanuts, popcorn, eat, consume, meal…*
*A little*
*take my time / the first time / It's not too late / I'm waiting / Time seemed to stand still / Do we have time? / You're going to be late. *
*sure?*
*too much right now.*
*Slowly, easy*
*not bad / my bad*
*tonight*
*fuck*
*take the lead*
Notes:
*This block of text is a bit long, but I tried to work on a lot of points that I read quite often in fanfiction and to make a better representation of consensual sex acts. I'll write a blog post in details about NC17 fanfiction because there is unfortunately a lot to say*
*Article: Pleasure beyond penetration (source)*
*Article: Yes to sexual pleasure as a human right, no to orgasm as an injunction! (source)*
*Article: Does sex have to involve penetration? The idea of it makes me totally sick. (source)*
*Article: 'Fear of the Clit': A Brief History of Medical Books Erasing Women's Genitalia (source)*
*Study: 10 281 is the number of nerve fibers in the clitoris, 20% more than the previous estimate. (source)*
*Article: Like every other part of your body, everyone’s penis and testicles are different, but worrying about what’s ‘normal’ is really common. Many people worry about the size of their penis, and feel self-conscious that it’s perhaps too small. However this is often due to the fact that people exaggerate or over-estimate the average size of a penis. (source)*
*Article: The taboos of women's sexual health (source)*
*Article: Consent isn’t sexy, it’s mandatory (source)*