CW: *mention of death penalty on minor* *mention of stealing money* *mention of dictator* *lgbtqphobia*
Apparently, the new outfit in effect was a lumberjack shirt and white boxers. She stretched her back again and yawned at her newspaper reading. She rubbed her eyes to try to wake up better, waiting for the shower to be free. A kettle announced the end of its cycle and Sam prepared two cups of instant coffee.
Jack came out of the bathroom and saw her from behind: Ope!
Sam without turning around: Over my dead body to get your shirt back.
Jack grabbed one of her buttocks: So we have a problem. (she questioned him with her eyes and handed him one of the cups) I was looking for you.
Sam took a sip: My butt, yeah.
Jack raised his eyebrows: My T-shirt, my shirt...
Sam smiled at him and put her cup on the dresser: Your sweateshirt.
Jack took a sip and winced slightly at the taste: I'm not going to have anything to put on my back anymore.
Sam undid the buttons on the shirt: My mission.
Jack: Make me indecent?
Sam opened the shirt slowly: Your mission is to find us hotels with decent coffee.
Jack sighed at the sight: We don't have the same definition of "slow down", Carter.
Sam picked up the paper: Okay... A little reading?
Jack: What does your horoscope say?
Sam began to read aloud: The Supreme Court just abolished the death penalty for people under 18.
Jack took a sip, falsely interested: Oh.
Sam: The Senate charges seven U.S. banks with complicity in allowing Augusto Pinochet to open 100 bank accounts to hide money (she frowned and looked falsely serious) A total of $15 million.
Jack raised his eyebrows: That's a lotta empanadas (he tilted his head) Even for a dictator.
Sam arched her back slightly on the dresser and forced Jack's gaze down: The San Francisco Superior Court judge just ruled that (he moistened his lips and sighed at the woman's body shaking sluggishly in front of him. She continued in a very serious tone and he put his cup back down) the gay marriage restriction is unconstitutional.
Jack slid one hand over her waist, the other over her cheek and brought his face to her: I'll have to take a lot more interest in Politics.
Echo:
*My T-shirt, my shirt... / Your sweater.*
*My mission. / Your mission *
*Make me indecent? / with decent coffee.*
Apparently, the new outfit in effect was a lumberjack shirt and white boxers. She stretched her back again and yawned at her newspaper reading. She rubbed her eyes to try to wake up better, waiting for the shower to be free. A kettle announced the end of its cycle and Sam prepared two cups of instant coffee.
Jack came out of the bathroom and saw her from behind: Ope!
Sam without turning around: Over my dead body to get your shirt back.
Jack grabbed one of her buttocks: So we have a problem. (she questioned him with her eyes and handed him one of the cups) I was looking for you.
Sam took a sip: My butt, yeah.
Jack raised his eyebrows: My T-shirt, my shirt...
Sam smiled at him and put her cup on the dresser: Your sweateshirt.
Jack took a sip and winced slightly at the taste: I'm not going to have anything to put on my back anymore.
Sam undid the buttons on the shirt: My mission.
Jack: Make me indecent?
Sam opened the shirt slowly: Your mission is to find us hotels with decent coffee.
Jack sighed at the sight: We don't have the same definition of "slow down", Carter.
Sam picked up the paper: Okay... A little reading?
Jack: What does your horoscope say?
Sam began to read aloud: The Supreme Court just abolished the death penalty for people under 18.
Jack took a sip, falsely interested: Oh.
Sam: The Senate charges seven U.S. banks with complicity in allowing Augusto Pinochet to open 100 bank accounts to hide money (she frowned and looked falsely serious) A total of $15 million.
Jack raised his eyebrows: That's a lotta empanadas (he tilted his head) Even for a dictator.
Sam arched her back slightly on the dresser and forced Jack's gaze down: The San Francisco Superior Court judge just ruled that (he moistened his lips and sighed at the woman's body shaking sluggishly in front of him. She continued in a very serious tone and he put his cup back down) the gay marriage restriction is unconstitutional.
Jack slid one hand over her waist, the other over her cheek and brought his face to her: I'll have to take a lot more interest in Politics.
Echo:
*My T-shirt, my shirt... / Your sweater.*
*My mission. / Your mission *
*Make me indecent? / with decent coffee.*
CW: *psychophobia* *ableism* *racism* *mention slavery* *mention violence* *mention genitalia* *mention homophobia* *mention sexism* *mention masturbation*
Jack walked into the room with several files under his arm: I know. I'm on time. It won't happen again.
Teal'c: Doctor Jackson is still not here, O'Neill.
Jack sat back and checked his words: Ha. Well, I won. (the three newcomers looked at each other strangely and he opened one of his files in front of him) Good. He will join us. (he looked around the table) The Pentagon's annual report announced that military personnel would need more extensive psychological monitoring. (Sam immediately frowned, suspicious. Bell saw her reaction and noted it in the back of her mind. Teal'c remained stoic. Jack raised his eyebrows at the memory, reached into the stack of files to select one and slid it across the table to Bell) The medical personnel file you asked for.
Bell grabbed it and smiled: Ha, thanks.
She opened it and quickly looked at the names. Alexander, curious, leaned over slightly and she shifted the folder towards him. Daniel entered the room as if nothing had happened, took a seat and nodded to the guests.
Daniel: Hello...?
Jack: These people have just been accredited. I haven't made the introductions yet, shall we begin?
Daniel looked at Jack and then at the guests and realized that this was his punishment for being late: Uh yes. (he smiled politely) ‘morning. Doctor Jackson, nice to meet you.
Alexander: Doctor?
Daniel: Archaeology.
Jack, still with his head in his file: He treats fossils.
Daniel, puzzled: Um, thanks Jack.
Jack raised his head towards him, smiled exaggeratedly, then went back to his files: And he films plants too. (he moved one hand without looking at the others) So you can see how nuts we are.
Sam lowered her head and bit her lip. Alexander and Bell looked at each other awkwardly, not yet sure how to react but seemed to disapprove of this kind of language. The other young woman discreetly hid her mouth behind her folded hands and elbows on the table to prevent herself from laughing nervously in order to remain as professional as possible.
Teal'c raises an eyebrow: O'Neill?
Jack to Teal'c: Shall we sing together again?
The group again looked at their interaction without understanding.
Sam, nervously, at the confusion of the newcomers: You'll get used to it.
Jack, hearing her voice: Carter?
Sam abruptly turned her head to him: Sir? (He waved his hand to tell her to continue. She nodded and smiled at the group) Colonel Samantha Carter, US Air Force. Theoretical astrophysicist.
Jack wrote notes on his file: And brilliant officer, she's kind of the brains of the operation. (Daniel cleared his throat. Jack moved his other hand in the air as he continued to write) So did he, but without the "brilliant officer”.
Daniel gave them a big smile. Alexander and Bell were again uncomfortable, not expecting this atmosphere.
Sam: You can call me Sam.
Anang: "Sam". I like that.
Sam smiled: My dad wanted a son.
The faces of the three newcomers broke down immediately. Sam looked around the table to see if she had said anything wrong.
Jack tried: Something’s wrong?
Bell pulled herself together, shook her head and smiled politely: Please. Continue.
Jack: T?
Teal'c: Teal'c of Chulak, former Primate of the false God Apophis. I joined this team 8 years ago to free my people from the slavery of the False Gods.
Jack stood up and looked around the table again: And you know me, so let's move on. (to Bell) I'll let you continue, Dr. Williams?
She nodded and smiled at him. She wore an elegant black dress, a thin gold belt at the waist, and a doctor's shirt over it. She wore thin braids, dotted with small gold rings, hung in a ponytail.
Bell: Dr. Bell G.J Williams. Director of the Experimental Laboratory at Chicago Hospital, University Professor and Doctor of Psychiatry in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience at-
Jack smiled: Chicago?
Bell smiled and nodded: Precisely. (the others looked at them, puzzled) You can call me "Doctor" or "Bell".
Daniel: "Bell" can mean "beautiful" as well as "a bell ringer or bell maker" in old English.
The newcomers looked at him strangely.
Jack at the group's reaction: You'll get used to it too.
Bell to Daniel: "Buzzer"?
Daniel nodded: Yes, that can work.
SPEAKER: Sergeant Siler is needed at level 15.
Bell and the newcomers looked at each other, smiling. The others also looked at each other, but with a lack of understanding.
Sam: Jocelyn Bell is an astrophysicist who discovered the first pulsar. (everyone stared at her and she explained) A neutron star that spins very quickly and emits strong electromagnetic radiation. (she became uncomfortable as no one seemed to understand. She straightened up and added lower) A powerful star, kind of. (she tried not to lose face and added more quickly) At first she didn't know what it was and named it LGM-1 (she insisted) Little Green Men.
The amusing anecdote seemed to fall flat and she realized how unusual she was acting although she had promised herself to take it easy with scientific stories after the failure of a cultural difference over her Schrödinger's cat joke with Narim. She cleared her throat and lowered her head uncomfortably, praying that she had turned off her cell phone this time. There was silence for a few seconds.
Daniel put his elbow on the table and raised his hand: Sorry, I didn't follow... The beginning. (to Jack) Psychiatry?
Jack: I think Dr. Williams is gonna give us a lecture, Daniel.
Daniel winced and turned his head towards her: Oh. Oh. Sorry.
Bell smiled and pointed to Dang: Dr. Dang is a brilliant surgeon.
He rolled his eyes and she smiled at his reaction. He was wearing black pants, a long dark gray T-shirt, and like Bell, an open doctor's shirt.
Sam stared at him: I know your name. (The table turned their heads toward her) You worked on Dioxin, right?
Alexander raised his eyebrows in surprise: Eurh. (he straightened up) Yes?
Sam moved her hand toward her team: When I worked with Dr. Timothy Harlow at the Pentagon, we were able to work on the effects of this dioxin and your name was on some genetic research reports. (he glanced at Bell a little concerned) Dr. Fraiser tried to recruit you a few years ago. General Hammond must have contacted you, he was the commander here before General O'Neill. (she moved her hand towards him) Vietnam veteran. Doesn't that tell you anything?
Alexander slightly uncomfortable: Well... (he cleared his throat) I'm often abroad.
Jack noticed his discomfort and questioned Bell with his eyes. He had asked him explicitly during his interview if this would be a problem.
Bell came to his rescue: Alexander was interested in behavioral and cognitive therapies, including hypnosis and medication. He'll be doing more of the physical side, while I'll be doing all of the mental side. (she pointed to Anang) And finally I present Anang Medweganoonind.
The young woman made a small movement of the hand towards them. She had deep black hair, pulled back into a large bun of intertwined braids behind her head. She wore a shapeless light gray dress that reached above her knees, black tights, a man's suit jacket that was too big for her and worn-out rangers.
Daniel thought and squinted at her: Anishinaabes?
Anang gave him a huge smile: Nice observation skills, Doctor! Ojibwe.
He smiled back, she looked at Alexander and Bell with a delighted and impressed look, and they tilted their heads, worried that he would do the same with both of them. She understood and panicked. Bell waved his hand to tell her to move on.
Daniel: Anang (he frowned and searched his memory) "heavenly body"?
Anang corrected him but smiled slightly, impressed: "Star".
Jack, surprised: "Star"?
Anang stared at him: Not for you.
Alexander and Bell glanced at each other and moistened their lips to keep from laughing, knowing her humor.
Anang smiled at Jack: Just kidding, sir.
Jack: Ha. I like your humor. Don't call me "John" and I won't call you "Star".
Anang nodded: Deal.
They relaxed. Sam juggled his gaze between Jack and Anang. Hmm. She didn't like what was happening.
Daniel gave Anang a forced smile: Really. Don't. (She questioned him with her eyes, he smiled wryly at Jack.) He can shoot you for a lot less. (Anang's face gradually broke down. The other two doctors froze. Jack glanced at him. Daniel pulled himself together and looked at Anang) Miikanan Anang. (to the others) "Stargate". (the new ones looked at him strangely and he tilted his head) "Path. "Path of the Stars. (he winced at having spoken out loud and whispered to her) Sorry. I haven't had a chance to practice, I only have a few remnants from the internet.
Anang said to Daniel, a touch of sarcasm in his voice: If ya want I will recite the internet page explaining my first name.
Bell gave Alexander a puzzled look, and he laughed nervously.
Daniel, a little offended: Uh, maybe later?
Jack, very happy to be able to take revenge on him: Oh come on. (he looked at his watch and then gestured to Anang) Please. Go ahead.
Sam looked at him, puzzled, Daniel frowned and Bell gave Alexander another look.
Anang cleared her throat: From memory. Impatience, instability, aggressiveness, sometimes lack of discernment and nuance. She refuses established authority and is an extremist. (she gave Jack a huge smile. He smiled and tilted his head) Her need for action is considerable, so her program should include sports and outdoor activities.
Alexander tilted his head, jaded: Is that really marked?
Anang nodded several times at the misinformation: She likes to seduce, to conquer, to flirt, sometimes simply to give the impression of existing and being recognized as a brilliant (she winked at Sam, which threw her off balance, then continued) and attractive woman ‘cause… "heavenly body". (she held up both hands and seemed to be saying to them "no doubt”. Alexander rolled his eyes, Jack forced himself to maintain his professionalism) Independent at heart, she is attracted to professions where she will not have to take orders from a superior and where she will preserve her autonomy.
She smiled broadly back at Jack.
Jack nodded and pointed to Bell: I have been briefed.
Bell tried to regain control of this conversation: Ms. Medweganoonind will be looking for solutions to make your work environment more...
Jack: "unstable" and "aggressive"?
Anang smiled proudly and straightened up. Sam discreetly juggled her gaze between her and Jack.
Bell smiled sarcastically: Respectful. (She continued in a serious tone in the hope of moving this meeting forward) In the next few weeks you will be called in for 3 individual, confidential and mandatory examinations to establish a diagnosis. If... (she looked at Alexander) we realize that you need more sessions (she looked at the group) we will be at your disposal.
Daniel glanced discreetly at Sam, then at Jack and held back a "I see you've been listening to me.". The latter seemed to read his thoughts and rested his interest on his file.
Bell: If you don't mind, General, I'd like to start with the BIPOC and the women first. (to the rest of the group) Everyone else will go through, don't worry. (she frowned) Um. General, you will have priority too. You are the boss, after all.
He shrugged a shoulder.
Daniel smiled: Freud said, "After thirty years of studying female psychology, I still haven't found an answer to the big question: What do they really want?"
Jack and Teal'c smiled, Sam gave him a puzzled look and Alexander tilted his head in anticipation.
Anang, coolly: Respect, justice and fairness.
Everyone looked at her.
Bell answered Daniel very quickly: Freud was obsessed with masturbation, which he considered a disease, criticized the homosexual as someone who was unaccomplished, considered the woman to be a subhuman since... (she put her hand in the air and took on a serious and solemn voice) "The little girl is a little man, and then begins her misfortune that will last all her life: she discovers that she has no penis.
Daniel and Jack looked away, Teal'c widened his eyes. Sam dodged a huge smile, then quickly bit the inside of her mouth and lowered her head to regain control, praying for no comment on her reaction. There was a heavy silence for a few seconds.
Alexander tried with a nervous smile: You will get used to it too.
Jack to Daniel: They were the ones to hire to shut you up?
Daniel smiled wryly at him and they all relaxed.
Bell pointed a finger at the folder in front of her and looked at Jack: You work with the Atlanta base? (Sg-1 and Jack looked at her uncomprehendingly. Bell pressed her finger) "ATL"?
Jack: Oh. Atlantis. We'll explain later. (Bell frowned and looked back at the file, puzzled. He looked at his watch again and tilted his head) These are the personnel assigned to this mission.
Bell looked up and smiled slightly in excitement: Can we see them?
Jack: Hmm. Not at the moment. Why?
Bell: I know Doctor Heightmeyer and Doctor Weir.
The others looked at her, a mixture of curiosity and surprise.
Alexander: Oh? The Kate from New York?
Bell smiled: Yes.
Daniel raised his eyebrows: Really? You know Dr. Weir?
Bell: Yes, I took some of his Political Science classes a few years ago... (she tilted her head) A few years ago. (she raised her eyebrows) I'm surprised she's working for the Army. (she looked at the group) Isn't she still at the UN?
Jack spread his hands slightly: Kind of.
Bell questioned him with his eyes, but he looked at his watch again. Daniel comes to the rescue.
Daniel: And Heightmeyer?
Bell: She's a friend. We used to see each other at conferences. (she frowned and spoke to herself) I thought she was out of the country.
Jack stood up, to SG1: Show them around and give them the equipment and files they need.
Sam stood up immediately: Yes, sir.
Daniel stood up more slowly: Sure. With pleasure.
Jack: And show them the... (he looked at Anang to joke about Daniel's translation but realized he had forgotten the exact words, winced strangely and tried to regain face quickly) Big round ring thing.
Echo:
*You'll get used to it. / You'll get used to it too. *
*brilliant officer / but without the "brilliant officer” / is a brilliant surgeon / as a brilliant *
*Please. Continue. / I'll let you continue*
*Stargate / heavenly body(x2) /Star(x2) / A neutron star /A pulsating star*
*kind of(x2)*
*Respectful. / Respect*
*Path. Path of the Stars.*
* instability, aggressiveness, / "unstable" and "aggressive*
Notes:
*On O'neill's ID card it says "John O'neill. “"John" was the nickname of "Jack "*
*No, it is not inconsistent that Sam smiles when the word "penis" is mentioned: she has the same reaction when Mckay pronounces "pianist" in his Canadian accent and she understands "penis", or when she and O'neill are in cold water and O'neill radios to Jacob that he's noticing a shrinkage here" (she laughs in the background and O'neill gives her a slightly genial look)*
*Remember the running gag with Bell's character the first time we see her, alarms are ringing in the background. That she smiles at "alarm bell" is also a nod to her activism*
*The character of Alexander Dang was inspired by the actor François-Xavier Phan. I had his acting talent in my head with every word I wrote. I hope I paid him a nice tribute*
*Teal'c's reaction is coherent, he has already read Freud but especially in the episode 10x18 Family Ties, he has the same reaction when he finds himself in front of the play "the vagina monologues "*
Jack walked into the room with several files under his arm: I know. I'm on time. It won't happen again.
Teal'c: Doctor Jackson is still not here, O'Neill.
Jack sat back and checked his words: Ha. Well, I won. (the three newcomers looked at each other strangely and he opened one of his files in front of him) Good. He will join us. (he looked around the table) The Pentagon's annual report announced that military personnel would need more extensive psychological monitoring. (Sam immediately frowned, suspicious. Bell saw her reaction and noted it in the back of her mind. Teal'c remained stoic. Jack raised his eyebrows at the memory, reached into the stack of files to select one and slid it across the table to Bell) The medical personnel file you asked for.
Bell grabbed it and smiled: Ha, thanks.
She opened it and quickly looked at the names. Alexander, curious, leaned over slightly and she shifted the folder towards him. Daniel entered the room as if nothing had happened, took a seat and nodded to the guests.
Daniel: Hello...?
Jack: These people have just been accredited. I haven't made the introductions yet, shall we begin?
Daniel looked at Jack and then at the guests and realized that this was his punishment for being late: Uh yes. (he smiled politely) ‘morning. Doctor Jackson, nice to meet you.
Alexander: Doctor?
Daniel: Archaeology.
Jack, still with his head in his file: He treats fossils.
Daniel, puzzled: Um, thanks Jack.
Jack raised his head towards him, smiled exaggeratedly, then went back to his files: And he films plants too. (he moved one hand without looking at the others) So you can see how nuts we are.
Sam lowered her head and bit her lip. Alexander and Bell looked at each other awkwardly, not yet sure how to react but seemed to disapprove of this kind of language. The other young woman discreetly hid her mouth behind her folded hands and elbows on the table to prevent herself from laughing nervously in order to remain as professional as possible.
Teal'c raises an eyebrow: O'Neill?
Jack to Teal'c: Shall we sing together again?
The group again looked at their interaction without understanding.
Sam, nervously, at the confusion of the newcomers: You'll get used to it.
Jack, hearing her voice: Carter?
Sam abruptly turned her head to him: Sir? (He waved his hand to tell her to continue. She nodded and smiled at the group) Colonel Samantha Carter, US Air Force. Theoretical astrophysicist.
Jack wrote notes on his file: And brilliant officer, she's kind of the brains of the operation. (Daniel cleared his throat. Jack moved his other hand in the air as he continued to write) So did he, but without the "brilliant officer”.
Daniel gave them a big smile. Alexander and Bell were again uncomfortable, not expecting this atmosphere.
Sam: You can call me Sam.
Anang: "Sam". I like that.
Sam smiled: My dad wanted a son.
The faces of the three newcomers broke down immediately. Sam looked around the table to see if she had said anything wrong.
Jack tried: Something’s wrong?
Bell pulled herself together, shook her head and smiled politely: Please. Continue.
Jack: T?
Teal'c: Teal'c of Chulak, former Primate of the false God Apophis. I joined this team 8 years ago to free my people from the slavery of the False Gods.
Jack stood up and looked around the table again: And you know me, so let's move on. (to Bell) I'll let you continue, Dr. Williams?
She nodded and smiled at him. She wore an elegant black dress, a thin gold belt at the waist, and a doctor's shirt over it. She wore thin braids, dotted with small gold rings, hung in a ponytail.
Bell: Dr. Bell G.J Williams. Director of the Experimental Laboratory at Chicago Hospital, University Professor and Doctor of Psychiatry in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience at-
Jack smiled: Chicago?
Bell smiled and nodded: Precisely. (the others looked at them, puzzled) You can call me "Doctor" or "Bell".
Daniel: "Bell" can mean "beautiful" as well as "a bell ringer or bell maker" in old English.
The newcomers looked at him strangely.
Jack at the group's reaction: You'll get used to it too.
Bell to Daniel: "Buzzer"?
Daniel nodded: Yes, that can work.
SPEAKER: Sergeant Siler is needed at level 15.
Bell and the newcomers looked at each other, smiling. The others also looked at each other, but with a lack of understanding.
Sam: Jocelyn Bell is an astrophysicist who discovered the first pulsar. (everyone stared at her and she explained) A neutron star that spins very quickly and emits strong electromagnetic radiation. (she became uncomfortable as no one seemed to understand. She straightened up and added lower) A powerful star, kind of. (she tried not to lose face and added more quickly) At first she didn't know what it was and named it LGM-1 (she insisted) Little Green Men.
The amusing anecdote seemed to fall flat and she realized how unusual she was acting although she had promised herself to take it easy with scientific stories after the failure of a cultural difference over her Schrödinger's cat joke with Narim. She cleared her throat and lowered her head uncomfortably, praying that she had turned off her cell phone this time. There was silence for a few seconds.
Daniel put his elbow on the table and raised his hand: Sorry, I didn't follow... The beginning. (to Jack) Psychiatry?
Jack: I think Dr. Williams is gonna give us a lecture, Daniel.
Daniel winced and turned his head towards her: Oh. Oh. Sorry.
Bell smiled and pointed to Dang: Dr. Dang is a brilliant surgeon.
He rolled his eyes and she smiled at his reaction. He was wearing black pants, a long dark gray T-shirt, and like Bell, an open doctor's shirt.
Sam stared at him: I know your name. (The table turned their heads toward her) You worked on Dioxin, right?
Alexander raised his eyebrows in surprise: Eurh. (he straightened up) Yes?
Sam moved her hand toward her team: When I worked with Dr. Timothy Harlow at the Pentagon, we were able to work on the effects of this dioxin and your name was on some genetic research reports. (he glanced at Bell a little concerned) Dr. Fraiser tried to recruit you a few years ago. General Hammond must have contacted you, he was the commander here before General O'Neill. (she moved her hand towards him) Vietnam veteran. Doesn't that tell you anything?
Alexander slightly uncomfortable: Well... (he cleared his throat) I'm often abroad.
Jack noticed his discomfort and questioned Bell with his eyes. He had asked him explicitly during his interview if this would be a problem.
Bell came to his rescue: Alexander was interested in behavioral and cognitive therapies, including hypnosis and medication. He'll be doing more of the physical side, while I'll be doing all of the mental side. (she pointed to Anang) And finally I present Anang Medweganoonind.
The young woman made a small movement of the hand towards them. She had deep black hair, pulled back into a large bun of intertwined braids behind her head. She wore a shapeless light gray dress that reached above her knees, black tights, a man's suit jacket that was too big for her and worn-out rangers.
Daniel thought and squinted at her: Anishinaabes?
Anang gave him a huge smile: Nice observation skills, Doctor! Ojibwe.
He smiled back, she looked at Alexander and Bell with a delighted and impressed look, and they tilted their heads, worried that he would do the same with both of them. She understood and panicked. Bell waved his hand to tell her to move on.
Daniel: Anang (he frowned and searched his memory) "heavenly body"?
Anang corrected him but smiled slightly, impressed: "Star".
Jack, surprised: "Star"?
Anang stared at him: Not for you.
Alexander and Bell glanced at each other and moistened their lips to keep from laughing, knowing her humor.
Anang smiled at Jack: Just kidding, sir.
Jack: Ha. I like your humor. Don't call me "John" and I won't call you "Star".
Anang nodded: Deal.
They relaxed. Sam juggled his gaze between Jack and Anang. Hmm. She didn't like what was happening.
Daniel gave Anang a forced smile: Really. Don't. (She questioned him with her eyes, he smiled wryly at Jack.) He can shoot you for a lot less. (Anang's face gradually broke down. The other two doctors froze. Jack glanced at him. Daniel pulled himself together and looked at Anang) Miikanan Anang. (to the others) "Stargate". (the new ones looked at him strangely and he tilted his head) "Path. "Path of the Stars. (he winced at having spoken out loud and whispered to her) Sorry. I haven't had a chance to practice, I only have a few remnants from the internet.
Anang said to Daniel, a touch of sarcasm in his voice: If ya want I will recite the internet page explaining my first name.
Bell gave Alexander a puzzled look, and he laughed nervously.
Daniel, a little offended: Uh, maybe later?
Jack, very happy to be able to take revenge on him: Oh come on. (he looked at his watch and then gestured to Anang) Please. Go ahead.
Sam looked at him, puzzled, Daniel frowned and Bell gave Alexander another look.
Anang cleared her throat: From memory. Impatience, instability, aggressiveness, sometimes lack of discernment and nuance. She refuses established authority and is an extremist. (she gave Jack a huge smile. He smiled and tilted his head) Her need for action is considerable, so her program should include sports and outdoor activities.
Alexander tilted his head, jaded: Is that really marked?
Anang nodded several times at the misinformation: She likes to seduce, to conquer, to flirt, sometimes simply to give the impression of existing and being recognized as a brilliant (she winked at Sam, which threw her off balance, then continued) and attractive woman ‘cause… "heavenly body". (she held up both hands and seemed to be saying to them "no doubt”. Alexander rolled his eyes, Jack forced himself to maintain his professionalism) Independent at heart, she is attracted to professions where she will not have to take orders from a superior and where she will preserve her autonomy.
She smiled broadly back at Jack.
Jack nodded and pointed to Bell: I have been briefed.
Bell tried to regain control of this conversation: Ms. Medweganoonind will be looking for solutions to make your work environment more...
Jack: "unstable" and "aggressive"?
Anang smiled proudly and straightened up. Sam discreetly juggled her gaze between her and Jack.
Bell smiled sarcastically: Respectful. (She continued in a serious tone in the hope of moving this meeting forward) In the next few weeks you will be called in for 3 individual, confidential and mandatory examinations to establish a diagnosis. If... (she looked at Alexander) we realize that you need more sessions (she looked at the group) we will be at your disposal.
Daniel glanced discreetly at Sam, then at Jack and held back a "I see you've been listening to me.". The latter seemed to read his thoughts and rested his interest on his file.
Bell: If you don't mind, General, I'd like to start with the BIPOC and the women first. (to the rest of the group) Everyone else will go through, don't worry. (she frowned) Um. General, you will have priority too. You are the boss, after all.
He shrugged a shoulder.
Daniel smiled: Freud said, "After thirty years of studying female psychology, I still haven't found an answer to the big question: What do they really want?"
Jack and Teal'c smiled, Sam gave him a puzzled look and Alexander tilted his head in anticipation.
Anang, coolly: Respect, justice and fairness.
Everyone looked at her.
Bell answered Daniel very quickly: Freud was obsessed with masturbation, which he considered a disease, criticized the homosexual as someone who was unaccomplished, considered the woman to be a subhuman since... (she put her hand in the air and took on a serious and solemn voice) "The little girl is a little man, and then begins her misfortune that will last all her life: she discovers that she has no penis.
Daniel and Jack looked away, Teal'c widened his eyes. Sam dodged a huge smile, then quickly bit the inside of her mouth and lowered her head to regain control, praying for no comment on her reaction. There was a heavy silence for a few seconds.
Alexander tried with a nervous smile: You will get used to it too.
Jack to Daniel: They were the ones to hire to shut you up?
Daniel smiled wryly at him and they all relaxed.
Bell pointed a finger at the folder in front of her and looked at Jack: You work with the Atlanta base? (Sg-1 and Jack looked at her uncomprehendingly. Bell pressed her finger) "ATL"?
Jack: Oh. Atlantis. We'll explain later. (Bell frowned and looked back at the file, puzzled. He looked at his watch again and tilted his head) These are the personnel assigned to this mission.
Bell looked up and smiled slightly in excitement: Can we see them?
Jack: Hmm. Not at the moment. Why?
Bell: I know Doctor Heightmeyer and Doctor Weir.
The others looked at her, a mixture of curiosity and surprise.
Alexander: Oh? The Kate from New York?
Bell smiled: Yes.
Daniel raised his eyebrows: Really? You know Dr. Weir?
Bell: Yes, I took some of his Political Science classes a few years ago... (she tilted her head) A few years ago. (she raised her eyebrows) I'm surprised she's working for the Army. (she looked at the group) Isn't she still at the UN?
Jack spread his hands slightly: Kind of.
Bell questioned him with his eyes, but he looked at his watch again. Daniel comes to the rescue.
Daniel: And Heightmeyer?
Bell: She's a friend. We used to see each other at conferences. (she frowned and spoke to herself) I thought she was out of the country.
Jack stood up, to SG1: Show them around and give them the equipment and files they need.
Sam stood up immediately: Yes, sir.
Daniel stood up more slowly: Sure. With pleasure.
Jack: And show them the... (he looked at Anang to joke about Daniel's translation but realized he had forgotten the exact words, winced strangely and tried to regain face quickly) Big round ring thing.
Echo:
*You'll get used to it. / You'll get used to it too. *
*brilliant officer / but without the "brilliant officer” / is a brilliant surgeon / as a brilliant *
*Please. Continue. / I'll let you continue*
*Stargate / heavenly body(x2) /Star(x2) / A neutron star /A pulsating star*
*kind of(x2)*
*Respectful. / Respect*
*Path. Path of the Stars.*
* instability, aggressiveness, / "unstable" and "aggressive*
Notes:
*On O'neill's ID card it says "John O'neill. “"John" was the nickname of "Jack "*
*No, it is not inconsistent that Sam smiles when the word "penis" is mentioned: she has the same reaction when Mckay pronounces "pianist" in his Canadian accent and she understands "penis", or when she and O'neill are in cold water and O'neill radios to Jacob that he's noticing a shrinkage here" (she laughs in the background and O'neill gives her a slightly genial look)*
*Remember the running gag with Bell's character the first time we see her, alarms are ringing in the background. That she smiles at "alarm bell" is also a nod to her activism*
*The character of Alexander Dang was inspired by the actor François-Xavier Phan. I had his acting talent in my head with every word I wrote. I hope I paid him a nice tribute*
*Teal'c's reaction is coherent, he has already read Freud but especially in the episode 10x18 Family Ties, he has the same reaction when he finds himself in front of the play "the vagina monologues "*
CW: *mention of firearms*
The elevator opened to the two women and Walter entered.
Walter pressed his floor: Ladies.
Sam: Walter.
Walter smiled at Anang: Welcome.
Anang smiled back: Thank you sir.
Walter, strangely all cheesy: Walter. Please.
Sam raised her eyebrows slightly, sensing something going on.
Anang: Anang.
Walter smiled again: It's nice to see new faces. I hope you feel at home here.
Sam moistened her lips to keep from laughing and looked away.
Anang: Thank you si... Walter.
He smiled at her one last time, put his back to the women and Sam turned her head slightly towards her. Anang tilted her head and shrugged her shoulders, giving her a knowing look. A few seconds passed in complete silence.
Walter turned slightly to Anang: Did you know that automatic opening and closing of elevators like this was invented by a black man?
Sam widened her eyes, definitely uncomfortable. Anang stared at him strangely and then looked at her, puzzled. She raised her eyebrows, surprised that she would explicitly ask her to answer when the man seemed so interested in making conversation with her.
Sam smiled nervously and ventured: No?
Walter continued: Alexander Miles.
The doors opened on level 19.
Sam nodded to Anang to follow her quickly: Thank you... Walter.
The elevator opened to the two women and Walter entered.
Walter pressed his floor: Ladies.
Sam: Walter.
Walter smiled at Anang: Welcome.
Anang smiled back: Thank you sir.
Walter, strangely all cheesy: Walter. Please.
Sam raised her eyebrows slightly, sensing something going on.
Anang: Anang.
Walter smiled again: It's nice to see new faces. I hope you feel at home here.
Sam moistened her lips to keep from laughing and looked away.
Anang: Thank you si... Walter.
He smiled at her one last time, put his back to the women and Sam turned her head slightly towards her. Anang tilted her head and shrugged her shoulders, giving her a knowing look. A few seconds passed in complete silence.
Walter turned slightly to Anang: Did you know that automatic opening and closing of elevators like this was invented by a black man?
Sam widened her eyes, definitely uncomfortable. Anang stared at him strangely and then looked at her, puzzled. She raised her eyebrows, surprised that she would explicitly ask her to answer when the man seemed so interested in making conversation with her.
Sam smiled nervously and ventured: No?
Walter continued: Alexander Miles.
The doors opened on level 19.
Sam nodded to Anang to follow her quickly: Thank you... Walter.
*
They walked down the corridor.
Sam, embarrassed: Oh my God. I'm sorry. That's the first time I've seen him react like that.
Anang looked around, not interested in the subject: I'm used to it.
They continued on their way, but Sam noticed that she was looking around nervously.
Sam: Problem? (she repeated a detail from her briefing bio with as little cynicism in her voice as possible) Do you miss outdoor activities?
Anang shook her head nervously: No no, I’m fine.
Sam: We'll get used to it, don't worry.
Anang bit her lips, lower: I just don't like being watched.
Sam: Oh. Cameras.
Anang: Hmm. You don't mind?
Sam tilted her head: We're getting used to it too. (Anang winced and Sam pointed to a small closed room with a guard posted in front of it) The weapons store, which you will not have access to, of course. Just... Avoid being in the way when the alarms go off. (she tilted her head) It gets a little crowded sometimes. Oh. We have a civilian training program if you want.
Anang: Hmm.
Sam: All you have to do is register with-
Anang grinned: No. Thank you.
Sam smiled and repeated herself again: We're getting used to it too.
Anang muttered: I don't think so.
Sam paused: Do you have a problem with weapon?
Anang: Especially the institutions using them.
Sam resumed her walk: We need to protect ourselves. That's what the cameras are for.
Anang: I didn't say they aren't.
Sam frowned and stopped again: You know, if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear.
Anang tilted her head: What could I be hiding? (she patted her pockets) a "Path of the Stars"?
Then she continued walking. Sam smiled wryly and joined her.
Sam: You know, I'm against the proliferation of weapons. (Anang turned sharply to her, surprised, and Sam tilted her head) For the civilians. (Anang squinted at her, Sam stared at her and became nervous) Not for...
Anang smiled wryly: The institutions.
Sam smiled nervously and they continued the tour.
Echo:
*We'll get used to it, / We're getting used to it too*
*The weapons store. / with weapon? / of weapons*
*you know*
*Path of the Stars*
*the institutions*
*Cameras. / The cameras*
*Problem? a problem*
*nothing to hide / What could I be hiding?*
Notes:
*Article : the racist origins of US surveillance (source)*
Sam, embarrassed: Oh my God. I'm sorry. That's the first time I've seen him react like that.
Anang looked around, not interested in the subject: I'm used to it.
They continued on their way, but Sam noticed that she was looking around nervously.
Sam: Problem? (she repeated a detail from her briefing bio with as little cynicism in her voice as possible) Do you miss outdoor activities?
Anang shook her head nervously: No no, I’m fine.
Sam: We'll get used to it, don't worry.
Anang bit her lips, lower: I just don't like being watched.
Sam: Oh. Cameras.
Anang: Hmm. You don't mind?
Sam tilted her head: We're getting used to it too. (Anang winced and Sam pointed to a small closed room with a guard posted in front of it) The weapons store, which you will not have access to, of course. Just... Avoid being in the way when the alarms go off. (she tilted her head) It gets a little crowded sometimes. Oh. We have a civilian training program if you want.
Anang: Hmm.
Sam: All you have to do is register with-
Anang grinned: No. Thank you.
Sam smiled and repeated herself again: We're getting used to it too.
Anang muttered: I don't think so.
Sam paused: Do you have a problem with weapon?
Anang: Especially the institutions using them.
Sam resumed her walk: We need to protect ourselves. That's what the cameras are for.
Anang: I didn't say they aren't.
Sam frowned and stopped again: You know, if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear.
Anang tilted her head: What could I be hiding? (she patted her pockets) a "Path of the Stars"?
Then she continued walking. Sam smiled wryly and joined her.
Sam: You know, I'm against the proliferation of weapons. (Anang turned sharply to her, surprised, and Sam tilted her head) For the civilians. (Anang squinted at her, Sam stared at her and became nervous) Not for...
Anang smiled wryly: The institutions.
Sam smiled nervously and they continued the tour.
Echo:
*We'll get used to it, / We're getting used to it too*
*The weapons store. / with weapon? / of weapons*
*you know*
*Path of the Stars*
*the institutions*
*Cameras. / The cameras*
*Problem? a problem*
*nothing to hide / What could I be hiding?*
Notes:
*Article : the racist origins of US surveillance (source)*
CW: *psychophobia* *implied sex*
(Text message) Sam grabbed the prepaid phone: Can't sleep.
(Text message) Jack grabbed his from the coffee table: Nightmares?
(Text message) Sam: No.
(Text message) Jack: Fantasies?
(Text message) Sam rolled her eyes: No way I'm writing this.
(Text message) Jack turned off the TV and got up from the couch: I'll be there in 20 minutes.
(Text message) Sam grabbed the prepaid phone: Can't sleep.
(Text message) Jack grabbed his from the coffee table: Nightmares?
(Text message) Sam: No.
(Text message) Jack: Fantasies?
(Text message) Sam rolled her eyes: No way I'm writing this.
(Text message) Jack turned off the TV and got up from the couch: I'll be there in 20 minutes.
*
The path they had taken shortly after his arrival could be traced by his shoes and jacket left on the hallway floor. In the living room, the coffee table had moved several inches with their agitation. On the carpet between this shifted table and the sofa, dressed both in jogging suits and tank tops, they tried to catch their breaths. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his heart rate.
Jack, eyes still closed: No lie. (she turned her head towards him) "Sam" or "Samantha"?
She smiled and closed her eyes. It must have crossed her mind a few seconds ago during their romp. He felt his hand in the void in search of her hand, then interlaced his fingers with hers.
Jack, his breath a little calmer: So?
Sam hesitated: The usual. No "Samantha" at work, don’t care in private.
Jack nodded and blew, fully satisfied: Okay.
Sam took advantage of his closed eyes to stare at him for a few seconds in silence: What if I had said "yes" to the nightmares?
Jack opened his eyes again and turned his head: I would have taken 10 minutes. (she laughed and straightened up to kiss him. He tilted his head) I needed a shower.
Sam stood up and insisted: I need a shower.
Jack straightened up and corrected her:: We. (He winced with pain in his knees and back as he stood up, gritted his teeth and swore loudly) Oy...!
Sam grinned and saw his nervousness when he stood up: A bed is good too.
Jack tilted his head: Your carpet was so attractive.
Sam shook her head and walked towards the bathroom: Follow me.
Jack watched her walk away: Your butt too, I must say.
Sam rolled her eyes: You can dream. I'll offer it to you when I get yours. (he froze and wondered if she was implying what he had understood) If you stay, I'll offer a back massage.
Jack resumed his walk: I'm staying, I'm staying. And I'll be back to explore your carpet anytime.
Sam chuckled: Oh my God. (He smiled but she stopped, turned around and raised a finger at him) A comment and goodbye massage.
He questioned her with his eyes, she went back to the sofa and put the coffee table back in its place. He moistened his lips to avoid laughing at her mania.
Echo:
*I'll offer*
*Nightmares / fantasies / You can dream*
*I needed a shower - I need a shower.*
*If you stay / I'm staying, I'm staying.*
*massage*
*writing around the furniture*
Jack, eyes still closed: No lie. (she turned her head towards him) "Sam" or "Samantha"?
She smiled and closed her eyes. It must have crossed her mind a few seconds ago during their romp. He felt his hand in the void in search of her hand, then interlaced his fingers with hers.
Jack, his breath a little calmer: So?
Sam hesitated: The usual. No "Samantha" at work, don’t care in private.
Jack nodded and blew, fully satisfied: Okay.
Sam took advantage of his closed eyes to stare at him for a few seconds in silence: What if I had said "yes" to the nightmares?
Jack opened his eyes again and turned his head: I would have taken 10 minutes. (she laughed and straightened up to kiss him. He tilted his head) I needed a shower.
Sam stood up and insisted: I need a shower.
Jack straightened up and corrected her:: We. (He winced with pain in his knees and back as he stood up, gritted his teeth and swore loudly) Oy...!
Sam grinned and saw his nervousness when he stood up: A bed is good too.
Jack tilted his head: Your carpet was so attractive.
Sam shook her head and walked towards the bathroom: Follow me.
Jack watched her walk away: Your butt too, I must say.
Sam rolled her eyes: You can dream. I'll offer it to you when I get yours. (he froze and wondered if she was implying what he had understood) If you stay, I'll offer a back massage.
Jack resumed his walk: I'm staying, I'm staying. And I'll be back to explore your carpet anytime.
Sam chuckled: Oh my God. (He smiled but she stopped, turned around and raised a finger at him) A comment and goodbye massage.
He questioned her with his eyes, she went back to the sofa and put the coffee table back in its place. He moistened his lips to avoid laughing at her mania.
Echo:
*I'll offer*
*Nightmares / fantasies / You can dream*
*I needed a shower - I need a shower.*
*If you stay / I'm staying, I'm staying.*
*massage*
*writing around the furniture*
CW: *mention of various mental and psychological traumas* *mention of various violence* *mention of death* *mention of bereavement* *mention of war* *mention of overdose*
Sitting behind her desk filled with piles of files, Bell read her notes. Alexander returned and winced at his tardiness.
Alexander sat down next to Bell: Sorry.
Bell: Good. Are you ready? (Sam straightened up and nodded) It's just a preliminary appointment, nothing to worry about. So. You are the leader of the main exploration team for this program.
Sam nodded: That's right.
Bell: So you're the team that takes the most risk.
Sam nodded: You could say that.
Bell: And therefore the one most likely to come back with psychological or physical damage. (Sam smiled wryly) I have a list of missions you've done that I'd like to talk about if that's okay? (Sam squirmed a little in his seat and nodded. The doctor resumed her notes) You started your first field missions in 1997?
Sam: That's right.
Bell: And I read that you were kidnapped on your third mission?
Sam smiled nervously and insisted: Nothing to worry about.
Bell raised her eyebrows: Then... (she widened her eyes) "Sold for your beauty"?! (Sam gritted her teeth at the memory. Bell shook her head and continued reading) Cryogenically frozen, drugged with a substance called "Nisha'ta", taken into a cult headed by a goa'uld, possessed by a symbiote and thus had another personality inside you?
Alexander seemed to circle several pieces of information on his medical record.
Sam nodded: I got another person's memories and emotions.
Bell: Kidnapped again, but this time by goa'uld.
Sam smiles: Yeah, that happens a lot. (Both doctors frowned slightly at her behavior and she swallowed at their reactions) We are prepared.
Bell: You and SG-1 had been abducted again and this time your memory was altered by the transplant of another identity, making you forget who you were. Dependent on some kind of light and... (she frowned) embedded in a computer?
Sam, uncomfortable: Nice track record, huh?
Bell: Impressive. Your companion Doctor Jackson died a long and painful death.
Sam: He did the Ascen-
Bell moved a hand towards her, her head still in her file: You think he's dead. (She looked up at her) Grief is not a small thing. (Sam swallowed and Bell continued reading) Your father had cancer (Alexander swallowed and tilted his head without looking at her. Sam wanted to retort but Bell raised her hand and continued reading) saved by a symbiote but (she looked up at her) passed away two weeks ago. (lowered her head) I'm sorry.
Sam lowered her head and shook it, then lifted it to give herself some composure.
Bell continued more quietly: Imprisoned again several times, you are being used as a hostage, a goa'uld will use you as a (she raised her eyebrows)... human experimentation... Imprisoned again. (she shook her head slightly) Yet another time. (to herself) Decidedly.
Sam smiles: Welcome to my life.
Bell: You're alone on a spaceship in deep space for four days with a concussion. (Sam lowered her head quickly. Alexander frowned and looked for the corresponding file) You find yourself alone again, on a planet with a Kull soldier in pursuit without any effective weapon to defend yourself. Your friend Dr. Fraiser dies a few days later and you are diagnosed with PTSD.
She exhaled deeply and winced. She was already struggling just reading this and couldn't imagine what it must be like for her. Alexander looked at her to see if he should take over, but she shook her head.
Bell swallowed with difficulty: You are psychologically and physically tortured by an alien...robot? Possessed again by an entity... And imprisoned again! A duplicate of you appears, apparently created by the robot alien who... (she widened her eyes) had feelings for you. (she winced at the unhealthy thought and exclaimed) Doctor Jackson dies again! (Sam looked up, Bell would quickly correct himself as he read on) Oh no, between two worlds...?
Alexander: Purgatory?
Bell approved the term and continued: Your wedding is off and your father dies in the same week. (she swallowed and closed her monologue) And I'm not mentioning all the other missions where your life is in danger, where you are under enormous stress and pressure. That's a lot for... 8 years of service on this program, don't you think?
Alexander moved a hand: And you started your field service before you joined this program. Gulf War?
Bell seemed to emerge at this statement and searched through her files: We counted a possibility for SG teams to return with 1.8 traumas per mission, on average. That's about 20 traumas per year.
Sam gritted her teeth: As I said... (she insisted) We're prepared.
Bell looked up at her and froze: What, didn't it make you feel anything?
Sam frowned: I didn't say that. (she straightened up) Look. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me.
Bell turned to another paper and Sam wondered if it was her military file from before the program and what might be in it that was incriminating. Alexander decided to take over while her colleague read.
Alexander more quietly: You've been on an antidepressant for over a year? (she nodded before looking away for a fraction of a second) Does it feel good?
Sam tilted her head slightly: It helps.
Alexander read the data: The doses are impressive.
Sam: I... My metabolism has undergone some changes with Jolinar. I am much more tolerant of outside substances. They need to be adjusted and increased regularly.
Alexander circled something on the chart and nodded: Any side effects?
Sam downplayed it: I got nauseous a while ago. With the recent events I forgot to take them. I think I took too many.
Alexander frowned: "Too many”?
Sam: 3 to 5 pills instead of one every day. (she grimaced) Twice in one week.
Alexander nodded and exhaled, reassured: Don't hesitate if you feel the need to readjust the doses (she nodded) Nightmares? Any seizures? (she held her breath so he wouldn't guess she was lying and shook her head. He raised his eyebrows) No attacks? Everything okay?
Sam shrugged: Everything is okay. (she smiled at the two doctors) I assure you, there is nothing wrong with me.
She looked away as if she was bored with the conversation.
Alexander wrote something down on his notes: So we're going to decrease the doses. One pill every two days to start.
She turned her head sharply toward him in panic. The two doctors smiled at her and she closed her eyes, caught in her own game. She was usually such a good liar, but the last few weeks had exhausted her. They could tell that she must have been trying to reduce the doses so that her treatment would no longer be on her record.
Bell, quietly: I think you could use some counseling. (Sam gritted her teeth and Bell's watch rang) We'll continue later, Colonel. Thank you.
Echo:
*Are you ready? / We are prepared. / We're prepared.*
*That's right*
*Everything okay? / Everything is okay*
*There's nothing wrong with me. / there is nothing wrong with me.*
*I think I took too many. - "Too many”?*
*You could say that. / I didn't say that.*
*didn't it make you feel anything? / Does it feel good?*
*that happens a lot. / That's a lot*
*Impressive. / The doses are impressive.*
*nothing to worry about / Nothing to worry about.*
Notes:
*In this study, you have the following statistics:
> Gulf War : About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
> 23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
> 55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.*
*For the calculation of "1.8 traumas per mission, on average. That's more than twenty traumas per year.” I took 22 episodes divided by 12 months (1 year or 1 season) to have the ratio of mission per month (1.8 mission departure, about 2 missions per month, so 1.8 chance to come back with a trauma)*
*During the torture of Fifth, you can see Sam suffering again from the reminder of the torture that Jolinar underwent. Same as what I had to say before, if Fifth showed her this memories, it's because it's something very strong for her (source)*
Sitting behind her desk filled with piles of files, Bell read her notes. Alexander returned and winced at his tardiness.
Alexander sat down next to Bell: Sorry.
Bell: Good. Are you ready? (Sam straightened up and nodded) It's just a preliminary appointment, nothing to worry about. So. You are the leader of the main exploration team for this program.
Sam nodded: That's right.
Bell: So you're the team that takes the most risk.
Sam nodded: You could say that.
Bell: And therefore the one most likely to come back with psychological or physical damage. (Sam smiled wryly) I have a list of missions you've done that I'd like to talk about if that's okay? (Sam squirmed a little in his seat and nodded. The doctor resumed her notes) You started your first field missions in 1997?
Sam: That's right.
Bell: And I read that you were kidnapped on your third mission?
Sam smiled nervously and insisted: Nothing to worry about.
Bell raised her eyebrows: Then... (she widened her eyes) "Sold for your beauty"?! (Sam gritted her teeth at the memory. Bell shook her head and continued reading) Cryogenically frozen, drugged with a substance called "Nisha'ta", taken into a cult headed by a goa'uld, possessed by a symbiote and thus had another personality inside you?
Alexander seemed to circle several pieces of information on his medical record.
Sam nodded: I got another person's memories and emotions.
Bell: Kidnapped again, but this time by goa'uld.
Sam smiles: Yeah, that happens a lot. (Both doctors frowned slightly at her behavior and she swallowed at their reactions) We are prepared.
Bell: You and SG-1 had been abducted again and this time your memory was altered by the transplant of another identity, making you forget who you were. Dependent on some kind of light and... (she frowned) embedded in a computer?
Sam, uncomfortable: Nice track record, huh?
Bell: Impressive. Your companion Doctor Jackson died a long and painful death.
Sam: He did the Ascen-
Bell moved a hand towards her, her head still in her file: You think he's dead. (She looked up at her) Grief is not a small thing. (Sam swallowed and Bell continued reading) Your father had cancer (Alexander swallowed and tilted his head without looking at her. Sam wanted to retort but Bell raised her hand and continued reading) saved by a symbiote but (she looked up at her) passed away two weeks ago. (lowered her head) I'm sorry.
Sam lowered her head and shook it, then lifted it to give herself some composure.
Bell continued more quietly: Imprisoned again several times, you are being used as a hostage, a goa'uld will use you as a (she raised her eyebrows)... human experimentation... Imprisoned again. (she shook her head slightly) Yet another time. (to herself) Decidedly.
Sam smiles: Welcome to my life.
Bell: You're alone on a spaceship in deep space for four days with a concussion. (Sam lowered her head quickly. Alexander frowned and looked for the corresponding file) You find yourself alone again, on a planet with a Kull soldier in pursuit without any effective weapon to defend yourself. Your friend Dr. Fraiser dies a few days later and you are diagnosed with PTSD.
She exhaled deeply and winced. She was already struggling just reading this and couldn't imagine what it must be like for her. Alexander looked at her to see if he should take over, but she shook her head.
Bell swallowed with difficulty: You are psychologically and physically tortured by an alien...robot? Possessed again by an entity... And imprisoned again! A duplicate of you appears, apparently created by the robot alien who... (she widened her eyes) had feelings for you. (she winced at the unhealthy thought and exclaimed) Doctor Jackson dies again! (Sam looked up, Bell would quickly correct himself as he read on) Oh no, between two worlds...?
Alexander: Purgatory?
Bell approved the term and continued: Your wedding is off and your father dies in the same week. (she swallowed and closed her monologue) And I'm not mentioning all the other missions where your life is in danger, where you are under enormous stress and pressure. That's a lot for... 8 years of service on this program, don't you think?
Alexander moved a hand: And you started your field service before you joined this program. Gulf War?
Bell seemed to emerge at this statement and searched through her files: We counted a possibility for SG teams to return with 1.8 traumas per mission, on average. That's about 20 traumas per year.
Sam gritted her teeth: As I said... (she insisted) We're prepared.
Bell looked up at her and froze: What, didn't it make you feel anything?
Sam frowned: I didn't say that. (she straightened up) Look. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me.
Bell turned to another paper and Sam wondered if it was her military file from before the program and what might be in it that was incriminating. Alexander decided to take over while her colleague read.
Alexander more quietly: You've been on an antidepressant for over a year? (she nodded before looking away for a fraction of a second) Does it feel good?
Sam tilted her head slightly: It helps.
Alexander read the data: The doses are impressive.
Sam: I... My metabolism has undergone some changes with Jolinar. I am much more tolerant of outside substances. They need to be adjusted and increased regularly.
Alexander circled something on the chart and nodded: Any side effects?
Sam downplayed it: I got nauseous a while ago. With the recent events I forgot to take them. I think I took too many.
Alexander frowned: "Too many”?
Sam: 3 to 5 pills instead of one every day. (she grimaced) Twice in one week.
Alexander nodded and exhaled, reassured: Don't hesitate if you feel the need to readjust the doses (she nodded) Nightmares? Any seizures? (she held her breath so he wouldn't guess she was lying and shook her head. He raised his eyebrows) No attacks? Everything okay?
Sam shrugged: Everything is okay. (she smiled at the two doctors) I assure you, there is nothing wrong with me.
She looked away as if she was bored with the conversation.
Alexander wrote something down on his notes: So we're going to decrease the doses. One pill every two days to start.
She turned her head sharply toward him in panic. The two doctors smiled at her and she closed her eyes, caught in her own game. She was usually such a good liar, but the last few weeks had exhausted her. They could tell that she must have been trying to reduce the doses so that her treatment would no longer be on her record.
Bell, quietly: I think you could use some counseling. (Sam gritted her teeth and Bell's watch rang) We'll continue later, Colonel. Thank you.
Echo:
*Are you ready? / We are prepared. / We're prepared.*
*That's right*
*Everything okay? / Everything is okay*
*There's nothing wrong with me. / there is nothing wrong with me.*
*I think I took too many. - "Too many”?*
*You could say that. / I didn't say that.*
*didn't it make you feel anything? / Does it feel good?*
*that happens a lot. / That's a lot*
*Impressive. / The doses are impressive.*
*nothing to worry about / Nothing to worry about.*
Notes:
*In this study, you have the following statistics:
> Gulf War : About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
> 23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
> 55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.*
*For the calculation of "1.8 traumas per mission, on average. That's more than twenty traumas per year.” I took 22 episodes divided by 12 months (1 year or 1 season) to have the ratio of mission per month (1.8 mission departure, about 2 missions per month, so 1.8 chance to come back with a trauma)*
*During the torture of Fifth, you can see Sam suffering again from the reminder of the torture that Jolinar underwent. Same as what I had to say before, if Fifth showed her this memories, it's because it's something very strong for her (source)*
CW: *war mention* *psychophobia*
She started the record player and the music echoed softly through the house.
Jack recognized the first few notes and filled the water jug: The Andrews Sisters. (she smiled and went back to the kitchen to set the plates with the dishes he had bought at the local Italian deli) They were from Minnesota, dontcha know?
Sam nodded: And during the war, the military canteens vibrated to their rhythms. (she tilted her head and threw the boxes in the trash) My dad used to tell us this story every time he threw the vinyl. (he smiled and she winced slightly) Sorry. Two nights in a row here.
Jack poured water into the glasses: It’s alright. (he saw that she still seemed nervous and wondered why she was always so insecure about her choices) Remember when I went to pick up Daniel and Dr. Lee in Honduras?
Sam put the plates on the table : Hum?
Jack nodded and sat down: You didn't need me anymore, you were taking the lead. (She sat down in front of him) You were glowing.
Sam smiled and bowed her head in intimidation: I dislocated my shoulder when I fell. (she started to eat and blew her nose) It was ridiculous.
Jack smiled: Habits. (she nodded her head a few times and smiled and started eating too) You were out of my control... (she frowned and he tried) Potential?
Sam pointed her fork at him: That's why you were staring at me when we came in.
Jack gave his half smile: I needed to...
Sam took a wry tone: To check that I still needed you?
Jack grinned: Hmm.
Sam played with her food: I felt like a kid when you complimented me. (she tilted her head) Good thing you didn't say that in front of my dad.
Jack raised his eyebrows: Oh. "Don't touch my daughter" talk?
Sam: You see my brother and the doors? Um, dad blows up suns with his daughter. (she froze and he questioned her with his eyes. She corrected herself, one tone lower) Blew. Blew up suns. (he winced slightly and she quickly recovered) Um, I noticed that.
Jack: Noticed what?
Sam made a casual gesture with her hand: Your demeanor was different and so was your look. (she winced again and added so low he didn't hear her) Almost... paternal.
She was silent for a moment and frowned. Shit, that strange feeling again. Why was she always comparing him to her father, she wondered. And that pride he had in his eyes, was that the same as a father looking at his daughter? He saw her lose herself in her thoughts and scanned her face, looking for a clue to her torments.
Sam finally noticed the silence, looked up at him and swallowed: Sorry. (He insisted on his silent questioning and she hesitated) Remember when the crew of the Prometheus was taken hostage by an unknown ship and this one was also stuck in that nebula?
Jack: Your concussion?
Sam nodded: Hmm. Call me crazy if you want, but I had hallucinations that actually happened in my life afterwards. Differently.
Jack frowned: Any hunches?
Sam frowned: I don't know. (she thought for a few seconds and then pulled herself together) I know you're skeptical about this kind of thing but... But it's not just on this ship. I feel like I'm reliving my life, all the time. You know what I mean?
Jack: No.
Echo:
*Your demeanor was different / Differently.*
*You didn't need me anymore / I needed to… - To check that I still needed you?*
*Remember when*
*I noticed that. - Noticed what?*
*You were glowing. / dad blows up suns with his daughter*
She started the record player and the music echoed softly through the house.
Jack recognized the first few notes and filled the water jug: The Andrews Sisters. (she smiled and went back to the kitchen to set the plates with the dishes he had bought at the local Italian deli) They were from Minnesota, dontcha know?
Sam nodded: And during the war, the military canteens vibrated to their rhythms. (she tilted her head and threw the boxes in the trash) My dad used to tell us this story every time he threw the vinyl. (he smiled and she winced slightly) Sorry. Two nights in a row here.
Jack poured water into the glasses: It’s alright. (he saw that she still seemed nervous and wondered why she was always so insecure about her choices) Remember when I went to pick up Daniel and Dr. Lee in Honduras?
Sam put the plates on the table : Hum?
Jack nodded and sat down: You didn't need me anymore, you were taking the lead. (She sat down in front of him) You were glowing.
Sam smiled and bowed her head in intimidation: I dislocated my shoulder when I fell. (she started to eat and blew her nose) It was ridiculous.
Jack smiled: Habits. (she nodded her head a few times and smiled and started eating too) You were out of my control... (she frowned and he tried) Potential?
Sam pointed her fork at him: That's why you were staring at me when we came in.
Jack gave his half smile: I needed to...
Sam took a wry tone: To check that I still needed you?
Jack grinned: Hmm.
Sam played with her food: I felt like a kid when you complimented me. (she tilted her head) Good thing you didn't say that in front of my dad.
Jack raised his eyebrows: Oh. "Don't touch my daughter" talk?
Sam: You see my brother and the doors? Um, dad blows up suns with his daughter. (she froze and he questioned her with his eyes. She corrected herself, one tone lower) Blew. Blew up suns. (he winced slightly and she quickly recovered) Um, I noticed that.
Jack: Noticed what?
Sam made a casual gesture with her hand: Your demeanor was different and so was your look. (she winced again and added so low he didn't hear her) Almost... paternal.
She was silent for a moment and frowned. Shit, that strange feeling again. Why was she always comparing him to her father, she wondered. And that pride he had in his eyes, was that the same as a father looking at his daughter? He saw her lose herself in her thoughts and scanned her face, looking for a clue to her torments.
Sam finally noticed the silence, looked up at him and swallowed: Sorry. (He insisted on his silent questioning and she hesitated) Remember when the crew of the Prometheus was taken hostage by an unknown ship and this one was also stuck in that nebula?
Jack: Your concussion?
Sam nodded: Hmm. Call me crazy if you want, but I had hallucinations that actually happened in my life afterwards. Differently.
Jack frowned: Any hunches?
Sam frowned: I don't know. (she thought for a few seconds and then pulled herself together) I know you're skeptical about this kind of thing but... But it's not just on this ship. I feel like I'm reliving my life, all the time. You know what I mean?
Jack: No.
Echo:
*Your demeanor was different / Differently.*
*You didn't need me anymore / I needed to… - To check that I still needed you?*
*Remember when*
*I noticed that. - Noticed what?*
*You were glowing. / dad blows up suns with his daughter*
CW: *psychophobia* *ableism* *slutshaming* *internalized sexism* *mention sexual relationship* *mention eating disorder*
Sam straightened up and took a serious tone: For example, I saw my dad in a hallucination who told me I wasn't happy.
Jack froze: Brutal.
Sam winced and held up a finger to let him know she wasn't finished: -That I was satisfied, in control.
Jack turned away for a split second: And?
Sam: Later you appeared to me.
Jack, surprised: Oh?
Sam: You told me that my dad was right and… (she frowned, thinking that her brain really liked to merge him with her father. She reached for her glass of water to pretend she was thirsty and not to reveal what she was thinking) That you would always be there for me. (he looked away, uncomfortable talking about his emotions) It's also intertwined with another echo. (she drank her glass and he questioned her with his eyes again) When I woke up in the infirmary, you were there.
Jack: Yeah?
Sam put her glass back on the table: I... thanked you.
Jack: For nothing.
Sam nodded: The day my father died, when you really told me you'd always be there for me.
Jack understood: Oh. You thanked me again.
Sam: By repeating what you told me on that ship. By doing that... things have moved on.
Jack poured her some water: Did you have any more hallucinations up there?
Sam froze: I kissed you.
Jack smiled from the corner of his lips and took a casual tone: Oh.
Sam sarcastically: Brutal. (He frowned) Awakening in the infirmary. (He questioned her with a confused look and she mimed the scene) "Jack"?
Jack: Oh! Oh. (he looked down for a moment and then looked up at her) Sorry. (he frowned) Wait, wait. I reacted like that because I thought I was reliving (he raised his eyebrows and added lower) an echo (she questioned him with her eyes but he shook his head so she would forget. He continued to eat, a little disturbed, then tried to lighten the mood) You know you can call me "Jack" now. Well, off the job. (She nodded and they exchanged a knowing look) And... off the sex.
She closed her eyes and wondered if this affront did not deserve that she sends her glass of water to his face. He smiled proudly at his reply.
Sam opened her eyes and stared at him, full of mischief: It has to mean something.
Jack smiled and resumed his seriousness: You say you experience these "echoes" often?
Sam was reassured that he would come back to this subject: Perpetually. This whole... (she couldn't think of a better word) "experience" was like our mission to Russia with Dr. Svetlana Markov. (she added, fearfully) Am I crazy?
Jack: Déjà vu?
Sam shook her head: No. This is more intense. (she added with more conviction) My father telling me not to follow the rules anymore and RepliCarter telling me the same thing. (she frowned and spoke for herself) I need to find other examples.
Jack: And you can provoke them?
Sam looked at him: Hm?
Jack moved his hand: Let's see.
Sam raised her eyebrows and pointed at him: See.
Jack: What?
Sam: I-It seems to have a mind of its own, sir.
Jack: Oh! Oh. (he thinks for a moment) Like Jonas?
Sam shook her head: These aren't flashes. (She frowned) I might ask for some tests, just in case.
Jack nodded: Hmm.
Sam: Still septic, huh?
Jack: Hmm. I've had bits and pieces of a barber's life for years.
Sam: Do you think this would be the result of alien technology?
Jack shrugged: As long as it makes you... (he quoted her) "move on" positively.
Sam nodded, not quite convinced: Hmm.
Jack nodded: And it can prepare you.
Sam , lower: Kind of. (a few seconds of silence) Daniel knows.
Jack: About? (he moved his hand) Your echoes?
Sam shook her head and looked at him with a knowing look: Via RepliCarter.
Jack not knowing how to react: Oh.
Sam, nervously: I couldn't handle the situation and I... I've avoided him ever since. (she hesitated) I think he knows how I feel about you too.
She winced and lowered her head, nervous to bring up the subject.
Jack, also a little uncomfortable: Oh. Okay. (He seemed to be perplexed by Daniel's actions towards him and added lower) Oh. That explains a lot.
Sam looked at him: Hmm?
Jack moved his hand to indicate that it was not important: Nothing. So? So what?
Sam: So I feel like now he's analyzing my every move and word. It makes me nervous.
Jack: He's worried about you.
Sam played with the food on her plate, lower: I know.
Jack after staring at her for several seconds: Carter. (she raised her head slowly to him, he tilted his head) Daniel is the most empathetic person I know.
Sam swallowed and looked away: I know. (a silence settled and she tried another subject) You like this Anang.
Jack: Hmm?
Sam pretended to think: What was it again? "She likes to seduce? Flirt?" "A brilliant, attractive woman"?
Jack pointed his fork at her: Oh. Jealous. Okay.
Sam grunted: I'm not jealous.
Jack turned his attention back to his plate: She is more like "free electron" in crossword.
Sam: It's just... She's a little too floozy. (he winced at this statement coming out of her mouth and stared at her strangely) What?
Jack straightened up slightly and decided not to address his thought: This will never work... She doesn't like orders. (She glared at him, he smiled and looked at his watch) I'm getting up early tomorrow I'm behind on some things. (He stood up and picked up his empty plate, then stopped in front of Sam's plate) Not hungry?
Sam looked at her plate, which was practically untouched, and winced: Uh... no. (she stood up, picked up her plate to take it to the kitchen and decided to quickly change the subject) Did you promote me as a control?
Jack froze: What?
Sam shrugged: You were telling me that the more I led, the more confident you felt about not controlling me.
Jack insisted: You deserved that promotion.
Sam tingled slightly at the word "deserved", scanned his face and nodded: Okay.
She went to clear the rest of the table, he followed her lead but frowned, still surprised at her question and the doubt she might have had.
Sam: It's funny, when I first joined, I wasn't interested in the ranks. I just wanted to study astrophysics.
Jack put the dishes in the dishwasher: Now what?
Sam washed her hands: Jolinar was a leader. (He looked at her and she tilted her head) I think she left me some of her temperament.
Jack: Oh?
Sam smiled: And giving orders to men isn’t bad.
Jack pushed her gently and washed his hands in turn: Too bad I'm still your superior.
Sam handed him the towel and said in a firm tone: Kiss me.
He wiped his hands taking his time, she raised her eyebrows and straightened her head to insist on his order. He carefully placed the towel on the work surface and then leaned in toward her lips.
Sam pulled back her face: Not there.
Jack dodged a smile and moved his hands to Sam's waistband: Dessert?
Echo:
*brutal*
*It's also intertwined with another echo. / an echo / Your echoes? / "echoes"*
*Oh? / Oh / Oh! Oh / Oh.*
*I know*
*more hallucinations / the hallucination*
*"move on" / things have moved on*
*you'd always be there for me*
*Let's see. - See*
*I... thanked you. / You thanked me again*
*And giving orders to men isn’t bad. - Too bad I'm still your superior*
*off the job. / off the sex*
*Jealous. / I'm not jealous*
*in the paragraph before "You were out of my control" / in control / as a control? / not controlling me*
*in the paragraph before "you're skeptical about this kind of thing" / Still septic, huh?*
*in the paragraph before "Call me crazy if you want" / Am I crazy?*
*I kissed you. / Kiss me.*
Notes:
*Explanation of the symbolism of being a free electron (source)*
*Article: Stargate | What Daniel Taught Me About Autism and ADHD (source)*
Bonus: *click here*
Sam straightened up and took a serious tone: For example, I saw my dad in a hallucination who told me I wasn't happy.
Jack froze: Brutal.
Sam winced and held up a finger to let him know she wasn't finished: -That I was satisfied, in control.
Jack turned away for a split second: And?
Sam: Later you appeared to me.
Jack, surprised: Oh?
Sam: You told me that my dad was right and… (she frowned, thinking that her brain really liked to merge him with her father. She reached for her glass of water to pretend she was thirsty and not to reveal what she was thinking) That you would always be there for me. (he looked away, uncomfortable talking about his emotions) It's also intertwined with another echo. (she drank her glass and he questioned her with his eyes again) When I woke up in the infirmary, you were there.
Jack: Yeah?
Sam put her glass back on the table: I... thanked you.
Jack: For nothing.
Sam nodded: The day my father died, when you really told me you'd always be there for me.
Jack understood: Oh. You thanked me again.
Sam: By repeating what you told me on that ship. By doing that... things have moved on.
Jack poured her some water: Did you have any more hallucinations up there?
Sam froze: I kissed you.
Jack smiled from the corner of his lips and took a casual tone: Oh.
Sam sarcastically: Brutal. (He frowned) Awakening in the infirmary. (He questioned her with a confused look and she mimed the scene) "Jack"?
Jack: Oh! Oh. (he looked down for a moment and then looked up at her) Sorry. (he frowned) Wait, wait. I reacted like that because I thought I was reliving (he raised his eyebrows and added lower) an echo (she questioned him with her eyes but he shook his head so she would forget. He continued to eat, a little disturbed, then tried to lighten the mood) You know you can call me "Jack" now. Well, off the job. (She nodded and they exchanged a knowing look) And... off the sex.
She closed her eyes and wondered if this affront did not deserve that she sends her glass of water to his face. He smiled proudly at his reply.
Sam opened her eyes and stared at him, full of mischief: It has to mean something.
Jack smiled and resumed his seriousness: You say you experience these "echoes" often?
Sam was reassured that he would come back to this subject: Perpetually. This whole... (she couldn't think of a better word) "experience" was like our mission to Russia with Dr. Svetlana Markov. (she added, fearfully) Am I crazy?
Jack: Déjà vu?
Sam shook her head: No. This is more intense. (she added with more conviction) My father telling me not to follow the rules anymore and RepliCarter telling me the same thing. (she frowned and spoke for herself) I need to find other examples.
Jack: And you can provoke them?
Sam looked at him: Hm?
Jack moved his hand: Let's see.
Sam raised her eyebrows and pointed at him: See.
Jack: What?
Sam: I-It seems to have a mind of its own, sir.
Jack: Oh! Oh. (he thinks for a moment) Like Jonas?
Sam shook her head: These aren't flashes. (She frowned) I might ask for some tests, just in case.
Jack nodded: Hmm.
Sam: Still septic, huh?
Jack: Hmm. I've had bits and pieces of a barber's life for years.
Sam: Do you think this would be the result of alien technology?
Jack shrugged: As long as it makes you... (he quoted her) "move on" positively.
Sam nodded, not quite convinced: Hmm.
Jack nodded: And it can prepare you.
Sam , lower: Kind of. (a few seconds of silence) Daniel knows.
Jack: About? (he moved his hand) Your echoes?
Sam shook her head and looked at him with a knowing look: Via RepliCarter.
Jack not knowing how to react: Oh.
Sam, nervously: I couldn't handle the situation and I... I've avoided him ever since. (she hesitated) I think he knows how I feel about you too.
She winced and lowered her head, nervous to bring up the subject.
Jack, also a little uncomfortable: Oh. Okay. (He seemed to be perplexed by Daniel's actions towards him and added lower) Oh. That explains a lot.
Sam looked at him: Hmm?
Jack moved his hand to indicate that it was not important: Nothing. So? So what?
Sam: So I feel like now he's analyzing my every move and word. It makes me nervous.
Jack: He's worried about you.
Sam played with the food on her plate, lower: I know.
Jack after staring at her for several seconds: Carter. (she raised her head slowly to him, he tilted his head) Daniel is the most empathetic person I know.
Sam swallowed and looked away: I know. (a silence settled and she tried another subject) You like this Anang.
Jack: Hmm?
Sam pretended to think: What was it again? "She likes to seduce? Flirt?" "A brilliant, attractive woman"?
Jack pointed his fork at her: Oh. Jealous. Okay.
Sam grunted: I'm not jealous.
Jack turned his attention back to his plate: She is more like "free electron" in crossword.
Sam: It's just... She's a little too floozy. (he winced at this statement coming out of her mouth and stared at her strangely) What?
Jack straightened up slightly and decided not to address his thought: This will never work... She doesn't like orders. (She glared at him, he smiled and looked at his watch) I'm getting up early tomorrow I'm behind on some things. (He stood up and picked up his empty plate, then stopped in front of Sam's plate) Not hungry?
Sam looked at her plate, which was practically untouched, and winced: Uh... no. (she stood up, picked up her plate to take it to the kitchen and decided to quickly change the subject) Did you promote me as a control?
Jack froze: What?
Sam shrugged: You were telling me that the more I led, the more confident you felt about not controlling me.
Jack insisted: You deserved that promotion.
Sam tingled slightly at the word "deserved", scanned his face and nodded: Okay.
She went to clear the rest of the table, he followed her lead but frowned, still surprised at her question and the doubt she might have had.
Sam: It's funny, when I first joined, I wasn't interested in the ranks. I just wanted to study astrophysics.
Jack put the dishes in the dishwasher: Now what?
Sam washed her hands: Jolinar was a leader. (He looked at her and she tilted her head) I think she left me some of her temperament.
Jack: Oh?
Sam smiled: And giving orders to men isn’t bad.
Jack pushed her gently and washed his hands in turn: Too bad I'm still your superior.
Sam handed him the towel and said in a firm tone: Kiss me.
He wiped his hands taking his time, she raised her eyebrows and straightened her head to insist on his order. He carefully placed the towel on the work surface and then leaned in toward her lips.
Sam pulled back her face: Not there.
Jack dodged a smile and moved his hands to Sam's waistband: Dessert?
Echo:
*brutal*
*It's also intertwined with another echo. / an echo / Your echoes? / "echoes"*
*Oh? / Oh / Oh! Oh / Oh.*
*I know*
*more hallucinations / the hallucination*
*"move on" / things have moved on*
*you'd always be there for me*
*Let's see. - See*
*I... thanked you. / You thanked me again*
*And giving orders to men isn’t bad. - Too bad I'm still your superior*
*off the job. / off the sex*
*Jealous. / I'm not jealous*
*in the paragraph before "You were out of my control" / in control / as a control? / not controlling me*
*in the paragraph before "you're skeptical about this kind of thing" / Still septic, huh?*
*in the paragraph before "Call me crazy if you want" / Am I crazy?*
*I kissed you. / Kiss me.*
Notes:
*Explanation of the symbolism of being a free electron (source)*
*Article: Stargate | What Daniel Taught Me About Autism and ADHD (source)*
Bonus: *click here*
CW: *mention of torture* *mention of assault* *mention of kidnapping* *mention of imprisonment* *mention of mental manipulation*
Bell waved for Jack to sit down: Thank you for accepting my summons. How have you been since yesterday?
Jack sat down: A little worried.
Bell: Why?
Jack raised his eyebrows: This summons.
Bell tilted her head: Let's say my colleague dropped some reports on top of the pile?
Jack sarcastically: And how high is that pile? (she forced herself to smile and pulled out a file) What's the problem?
Bell: Physical and psychological torture, assaults and physical injuries of various degrees, kidnapping and imprisonment, mental manipulation-
Jack looked at his watch: This list is as long as the height of that pile?
Bell: There are forms of violence that were not so much reported in all the SG team reports... (she looked at the file) Or at least, the victims were not psychologically monitored afterwards.
Jack: Hmm?
Bell rested her eyes on him: I'd like to go back to one of your missions in the first year if you don't mind.
Echo:
*summons*
*some reports on top of the pile? / how high is that pile? / This list is as long as the height of that pile?*
Bell waved for Jack to sit down: Thank you for accepting my summons. How have you been since yesterday?
Jack sat down: A little worried.
Bell: Why?
Jack raised his eyebrows: This summons.
Bell tilted her head: Let's say my colleague dropped some reports on top of the pile?
Jack sarcastically: And how high is that pile? (she forced herself to smile and pulled out a file) What's the problem?
Bell: Physical and psychological torture, assaults and physical injuries of various degrees, kidnapping and imprisonment, mental manipulation-
Jack looked at his watch: This list is as long as the height of that pile?
Bell: There are forms of violence that were not so much reported in all the SG team reports... (she looked at the file) Or at least, the victims were not psychologically monitored afterwards.
Jack: Hmm?
Bell rested her eyes on him: I'd like to go back to one of your missions in the first year if you don't mind.
Echo:
*summons*
*some reports on top of the pile? / how high is that pile? / This list is as long as the height of that pile?*
CW: *mention of death wish* *mention of death* *mention of addiction*
Bell drank her tea: Sudden feelings of panic or anger?
Sam, through her teeth: For the last time, I have no crisis.
Bell put her elbow on the table, put her hand over her mouth and thought. Then she looked at her papers, raised her eyebrows and wrote down several things on her notes. Sam remained silent and looked away.
Bell with her head still in her notes: And your marriage, what happened?
Sam became impatient: How do you know that anyway?
Bell gently lifted her head as a simple answer, but the soldier insisted on her question with a look.
Bell, sarcastically: Do I tell you that in the Army, nothing stays a secret for long? (she moved her folder slightly between her files. Sam winced and Bell continued) So... Your marriage?
Sam, annoyed: I just realized it wasn't what I wanted.
Bell shook her head slightly: Want to tell me more? (Sam exhaled deeply and shook her head negatively. Bell shook hers) Fine. Your right. (She looked at her notes) You come close to death several times on a mission, don't you feel like you're engaging in risky behavior?
Sam chuckled: I have no desire to die.
Bell: Danger brings a chemical dose that acts like a drug to the brain. You can get addicted to stress, did you know that?
Sam insisted: Yes. I know.
Bell: You have quite a few speeding tickets on your record. Does that make you feel alive?
Sam: Your point?
Bell: Usually, people with trauma seek to escape the anxiety and cut off their emotions.
Sam, coldly: "Usually”. (she pulled herself together despite her annoyance at making her recall - perhaps not intentionally - her mother's car accident) Look. I control my devices, okay? (more calmly, she repeated herself) I have no desire to die.
Bell changed the subject: Maybe flashbacks? Scenes you're reliving over and over again?
Sam got angry: No!
Bell, louder: Given what you've been through, what would be wrong is if you didn't have any! (Sam stood up) Colonel, please sit dow-
But she slammed the door. Bell bit her lower lip and cursed herself for losing her patience so quickly. She blew out her breath to relieve the stress and realized that it had been a while since she had been in a one-on-one consultation. She had been dealing with things in a much broader way for several years. She made the decision to work on this, she was certainly in front of people whose work she did not appreciate from a socio-political point of view, but in front of her were individuals.
Echo:
*your marriage*
*I have no desire to die.*
*Usually*
Notes:
*Article: Male drivers three times more likely to be in road collisions with pedestrians (source)*
Bell drank her tea: Sudden feelings of panic or anger?
Sam, through her teeth: For the last time, I have no crisis.
Bell put her elbow on the table, put her hand over her mouth and thought. Then she looked at her papers, raised her eyebrows and wrote down several things on her notes. Sam remained silent and looked away.
Bell with her head still in her notes: And your marriage, what happened?
Sam became impatient: How do you know that anyway?
Bell gently lifted her head as a simple answer, but the soldier insisted on her question with a look.
Bell, sarcastically: Do I tell you that in the Army, nothing stays a secret for long? (she moved her folder slightly between her files. Sam winced and Bell continued) So... Your marriage?
Sam, annoyed: I just realized it wasn't what I wanted.
Bell shook her head slightly: Want to tell me more? (Sam exhaled deeply and shook her head negatively. Bell shook hers) Fine. Your right. (She looked at her notes) You come close to death several times on a mission, don't you feel like you're engaging in risky behavior?
Sam chuckled: I have no desire to die.
Bell: Danger brings a chemical dose that acts like a drug to the brain. You can get addicted to stress, did you know that?
Sam insisted: Yes. I know.
Bell: You have quite a few speeding tickets on your record. Does that make you feel alive?
Sam: Your point?
Bell: Usually, people with trauma seek to escape the anxiety and cut off their emotions.
Sam, coldly: "Usually”. (she pulled herself together despite her annoyance at making her recall - perhaps not intentionally - her mother's car accident) Look. I control my devices, okay? (more calmly, she repeated herself) I have no desire to die.
Bell changed the subject: Maybe flashbacks? Scenes you're reliving over and over again?
Sam got angry: No!
Bell, louder: Given what you've been through, what would be wrong is if you didn't have any! (Sam stood up) Colonel, please sit dow-
But she slammed the door. Bell bit her lower lip and cursed herself for losing her patience so quickly. She blew out her breath to relieve the stress and realized that it had been a while since she had been in a one-on-one consultation. She had been dealing with things in a much broader way for several years. She made the decision to work on this, she was certainly in front of people whose work she did not appreciate from a socio-political point of view, but in front of her were individuals.
Echo:
*your marriage*
*I have no desire to die.*
*Usually*
Notes:
*Article: Male drivers three times more likely to be in road collisions with pedestrians (source)*
TW: *self-laceration crisis* *anxiety crisis mention*
CW: *sexism in the medical setting* *mention eating disorders* *mention PTSD* *mention syringe and blood collection*
Still annoyed, she knocked on the open office door.
Alexander: Colonel Carter, come in.
Sam: Doctor.
Alexander motioned for her to sit on the examination table: How are you feeling today?
Sam suspected he knew about her altercation with his colleague: Great.
Alexander sat down on a stool opposite her: So (he opened her file) Your antidepressant is working?
Sam: I think so, yes. (she saw the doctor's puzzled expression) Problem?
Alexander: Two, actually. (He moved a hand) You say we have to readjust the dosages exponentially on a regular basis?
Sam nodded: Yes.
Alexander: So the painkillers for your injuries...
Sam nodded a little slower: ...are becoming less and less effective, yes. (He raised his eyebrows) The second problem?
Alexander: Um, this drug has been tested very little on women.
Sam frowned: This drug is very common.
Alexander stammered: Um, yes, no. I'm talking about the pharmaceutical industry (he moved a hand). Their tests don't involve women.
Sam puzzled: Why is that a problem?
Alexander turned to the desk and looked for a file: Menstrual cycles, hormone surges, side effects... We don't know if the treatment is working or if it's making something else worse. Add to that your exponential dosage adjustment problem, and if you add up the autopsy results you've already gotten, you can imagine that- (He looked up from the file at her and saw that Sam's anxiety was spiking at the memory of a study she had read not long ago on NASA's space radiation standards for women) Would you like to test another....? (She nodded quickly and looked away) Good. I'd like to reexamine your physical health, if that's okay.
Sam: My monthly results are available in the infirmary.
Alexander smiled and lightly shook one of his files: Performed by Dr. Warner and Dr. Brightman.
Sam: Yes?
Alexander looked at her knowingly: Also members of the Air Force. (She questioned him with her eyes, he grinned and continued) Look. Imagine working for a private company. This company monitors your vitals regularly. It's in their best interest that you are healthy.
Sam: What's wrong with that?
Alexander: The problem with taking on paid doctors who are a full part of this company is that the so-called "benign" problems will not be treated. Maybe... Those problems that can be treated now are not interesting to them because they will only become problematic for you in 20 years. Imagine the side effects of these exponential doses later when you may not be so... Indispensable.
She swallowed and thought of Janet, who tended to do a lot of analysis on her - which tended to get on her nerves - but she had to admit to herself that since her death, the analysis had become less frequent and less thorough. Janet may have been in the Army, but she really took her vocation to heart. Sam accepted her argument with a nod.
Alexander smiled gently: Good. We'll set it up. Let's focus on today's session. The principle of cognitive-behavioral therapy is to confront the patient with situations that generate anxiety or fear.
He looked at her file again and frowned.
Sam winced with apprehension: What's wrong?
Alexander calmly: You've gained weight since last year.
Sam put her arms discreetly around her belly, embarrassed: So?
Alexander looked at the back sheets of his file: So you were pretty consistent before... About a year ago. (she swallowed) ED is part of PTSD.
Sam frowned: “ED”?
Alexander: Eating disorder. (she made a silent "Ha" and nodded uncomfortably) How are you eating right now?
Sam winced at the memory of Janet asking the same questions: Normally, I guess?
Alexander: Any dizziness or sudden cravings for food?
Sam became impatient: No more than usual. (she smiled nervously) Look, with our job, Sometimes on off-world missions we'll only eat energy bars. Sometimes it's the other way around, I'm stuck sitting in my lab for weeks on end. (she shrugged) I make up for it with exercise. That's all. (she grimaced) I've just had a hard time in the last few months and... not much time for exercise.
Alexander stared at her and frowned: Ok. (he turned and grabbed a syringe) Can I draw your blood? (she held back from rolling her eyes in annoyance, pulled her top up to clear her skin and he drew her blood and put a bandage on it) Sorry about that. It must be frustrating. (she questioned him with her eyes, he tilted his head and put Sam's sleeve back on properly) Well, that feeling that your body doesn't fully belong to you. (she swallowed. He wrote Carter's name on the sample, put it away, and turned to her) Let's get back to it, if you don't mind?
Sam: I've already experimented with hypnosis when I was a student and here. (He nodded and she winced) But... I'm a little apprehensive.
Alexander smiled to reassure her: What study?
Sam: Psychology.
Alexander froze, softly: Oh.
Sam frowned: "Oh?
Alexander smiled nervously: That's why you're so reluctant to our sessions? (she remained silent and he invited her to lie down) I'll wake you up at the slightest worry. I'll give you a dose of sedative if you don't mind? (as a response, she rolled up her sleeve) Wait, we'll do it the other way so we don't have to use the same arm. (he plugged her into the monitor, poked her and sat back down. She closed her eyes and concentrated) We are going to do what is called an imaginary exposure. We're going to go over some things in your past that come to mind that you find unpleasant.
She went easily through the exercise, but after about 15 minutes, the tracking monitor worried the doctor and she showed signs of nervousness. Her body began to shake, to tense up. Her eyes moved back and forth under her eyelids. Her temperature and heart rate soared. Her breath became jerky and she didn't respond at all to the doctor's questions. The doctor pressed the machine and a small electric shock woke her up immediately. She opened her eyes and sat up in a panic, taking a huge gulp of air.
Alexander raised his hands to her: It's all right, you're...
But she didn't hear him and scratched her forearms with all her might. He opened the drawer, grabbed a stronger sedative and stuck it in her shoulder. Sam's body calmed down in seconds and she began to emerge. He quickly fetched a disinfectant and a towel to treat her wounds. She looked around, her head wobbling and her eyes cloudy, stunned.
Alexander returned and placed the equipment beside her: Don't worry. How are you feeling?
Sam frowned: Hm? (she put a hand on her forehead) Headache. Bad headache.
Alexander pointed to her arms: May I?
Sam looked at her arms and widened her eyes in panic: What the-?
The pain awoke at the sight of her lacerations and she panicked.
Alexander: Don't worry. Spasmophilia. I think you were still under hypnosis and had not yet regained consciousness.
He insisted again on his gesture to see if he could take care of her wounds. She nodded and swallowed. She looked up and furtively looked around to make sure they were alone and that no cameras had captured this. She relaxed slightly when she realized that they were not and looked again at her wounds. He lifted her arms, put the towel underneath and sprayed her wounds with disinfectant. She noticed that she also had blood under her nails and winced.
Alexander examined her wounds more intensely: I will review the revival procedure for you. It doesn't suit you. Keep your arms up, please. (She complied, silently. He slid his stool near the work surface and looked in the drawer of bandages) It's my fault, forgive me. You warned me that you had experience and... I should have added your experience in interrogations and other missions.
Sam frowned: What's the connection?
Alexander bandaged her first arm: Let's say your brain may have learned to protect itself.
Sam moved the second arm, sarcastically: It's strangely protective.
Alexander: Um, everyone is different. (he tilted his head and tried) Self-lacerating is a very common thing in traumatized people. (she gritted her teeth and grimaced) Why this reaction?
Sam: It's not going to go on my record, is it?
Alexander finished the first bandage: No. It's a promise. (she nodded and relaxed a bit. He continued calmly) Too much intense emotion. The brain doesn't know how to react to soothe them, so it orders the body to hurt itself to have a good reason to hurt. (He shrugged and began to bandage the second one) That's all.
Sam rolled her eyes, low: Great.
Alexander frowned at her reaction: Don't blame yourself for that. (He took a more cheerful tone) I hope, however, that it won't scare you away from my next sessions.
Sam, jaded: Do I have a choice?
He froze for a fraction of a second, then finished his bandage in silence. She winced, he had nothing to do with it, he had been hired, he was just doing his job after all. And he seemed nice, she thought. Shit, she should be more understanding with Dr. Williams, she noticed. She too was only doing what she had been asked to do.
Echo:
*Problem? / The second problem? Why is that a problem? / The problem with / "benign" problems / Those problems / problematic for you*
*Look.*
*So? - So*
*Headache. Bad headache.*
*This drug is very common. / a very common*
*you had experience / your experience*
*to our sessions? / from my next sessions.*
*to protect itself. / It's strangely protective.*
*for a private company / This company / of this company*
*Oh. / Oh?
*if you don't mind?*
*What's wrong with that? / What's wrong?*
*How are you feeling today? / How are you feeling?*
*with exercise / not much time for exercise*
*Don't worry.*
*this paragraph opens and closes with an ironic "great"*
*Why this reaction? /how to react*
*That's all.*
*Sometimes*
Notes:
*Video: Men and women experience physical pain differently? And while doctors are there to help us diagnose and treat health conditions, there’s a good chance their unconscious biases can impact how seriously they take your pain. (source) (source)*
*Article: New NASA radiation standards for astronauts seen as leveling field for women (source)*
*Article: Female Astronauts Face Discrimination from Space Radiation Concerns, Astronauts Say (source)*
*Article: The medical research gender gap: how excluding women from clinical trials is hurting our health (source)*
*Article: Making women and girls visible: Gender data gaps and why they matter (source)*
*Video: in 2023, female dummies are finally used for car crash tests (source)*
*Video: racism in technology (source)*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
CW: *sexism in the medical setting* *mention eating disorders* *mention PTSD* *mention syringe and blood collection*
Still annoyed, she knocked on the open office door.
Alexander: Colonel Carter, come in.
Sam: Doctor.
Alexander motioned for her to sit on the examination table: How are you feeling today?
Sam suspected he knew about her altercation with his colleague: Great.
Alexander sat down on a stool opposite her: So (he opened her file) Your antidepressant is working?
Sam: I think so, yes. (she saw the doctor's puzzled expression) Problem?
Alexander: Two, actually. (He moved a hand) You say we have to readjust the dosages exponentially on a regular basis?
Sam nodded: Yes.
Alexander: So the painkillers for your injuries...
Sam nodded a little slower: ...are becoming less and less effective, yes. (He raised his eyebrows) The second problem?
Alexander: Um, this drug has been tested very little on women.
Sam frowned: This drug is very common.
Alexander stammered: Um, yes, no. I'm talking about the pharmaceutical industry (he moved a hand). Their tests don't involve women.
Sam puzzled: Why is that a problem?
Alexander turned to the desk and looked for a file: Menstrual cycles, hormone surges, side effects... We don't know if the treatment is working or if it's making something else worse. Add to that your exponential dosage adjustment problem, and if you add up the autopsy results you've already gotten, you can imagine that- (He looked up from the file at her and saw that Sam's anxiety was spiking at the memory of a study she had read not long ago on NASA's space radiation standards for women) Would you like to test another....? (She nodded quickly and looked away) Good. I'd like to reexamine your physical health, if that's okay.
Sam: My monthly results are available in the infirmary.
Alexander smiled and lightly shook one of his files: Performed by Dr. Warner and Dr. Brightman.
Sam: Yes?
Alexander looked at her knowingly: Also members of the Air Force. (She questioned him with her eyes, he grinned and continued) Look. Imagine working for a private company. This company monitors your vitals regularly. It's in their best interest that you are healthy.
Sam: What's wrong with that?
Alexander: The problem with taking on paid doctors who are a full part of this company is that the so-called "benign" problems will not be treated. Maybe... Those problems that can be treated now are not interesting to them because they will only become problematic for you in 20 years. Imagine the side effects of these exponential doses later when you may not be so... Indispensable.
She swallowed and thought of Janet, who tended to do a lot of analysis on her - which tended to get on her nerves - but she had to admit to herself that since her death, the analysis had become less frequent and less thorough. Janet may have been in the Army, but she really took her vocation to heart. Sam accepted her argument with a nod.
Alexander smiled gently: Good. We'll set it up. Let's focus on today's session. The principle of cognitive-behavioral therapy is to confront the patient with situations that generate anxiety or fear.
He looked at her file again and frowned.
Sam winced with apprehension: What's wrong?
Alexander calmly: You've gained weight since last year.
Sam put her arms discreetly around her belly, embarrassed: So?
Alexander looked at the back sheets of his file: So you were pretty consistent before... About a year ago. (she swallowed) ED is part of PTSD.
Sam frowned: “ED”?
Alexander: Eating disorder. (she made a silent "Ha" and nodded uncomfortably) How are you eating right now?
Sam winced at the memory of Janet asking the same questions: Normally, I guess?
Alexander: Any dizziness or sudden cravings for food?
Sam became impatient: No more than usual. (she smiled nervously) Look, with our job, Sometimes on off-world missions we'll only eat energy bars. Sometimes it's the other way around, I'm stuck sitting in my lab for weeks on end. (she shrugged) I make up for it with exercise. That's all. (she grimaced) I've just had a hard time in the last few months and... not much time for exercise.
Alexander stared at her and frowned: Ok. (he turned and grabbed a syringe) Can I draw your blood? (she held back from rolling her eyes in annoyance, pulled her top up to clear her skin and he drew her blood and put a bandage on it) Sorry about that. It must be frustrating. (she questioned him with her eyes, he tilted his head and put Sam's sleeve back on properly) Well, that feeling that your body doesn't fully belong to you. (she swallowed. He wrote Carter's name on the sample, put it away, and turned to her) Let's get back to it, if you don't mind?
Sam: I've already experimented with hypnosis when I was a student and here. (He nodded and she winced) But... I'm a little apprehensive.
Alexander smiled to reassure her: What study?
Sam: Psychology.
Alexander froze, softly: Oh.
Sam frowned: "Oh?
Alexander smiled nervously: That's why you're so reluctant to our sessions? (she remained silent and he invited her to lie down) I'll wake you up at the slightest worry. I'll give you a dose of sedative if you don't mind? (as a response, she rolled up her sleeve) Wait, we'll do it the other way so we don't have to use the same arm. (he plugged her into the monitor, poked her and sat back down. She closed her eyes and concentrated) We are going to do what is called an imaginary exposure. We're going to go over some things in your past that come to mind that you find unpleasant.
She went easily through the exercise, but after about 15 minutes, the tracking monitor worried the doctor and she showed signs of nervousness. Her body began to shake, to tense up. Her eyes moved back and forth under her eyelids. Her temperature and heart rate soared. Her breath became jerky and she didn't respond at all to the doctor's questions. The doctor pressed the machine and a small electric shock woke her up immediately. She opened her eyes and sat up in a panic, taking a huge gulp of air.
Alexander raised his hands to her: It's all right, you're...
But she didn't hear him and scratched her forearms with all her might. He opened the drawer, grabbed a stronger sedative and stuck it in her shoulder. Sam's body calmed down in seconds and she began to emerge. He quickly fetched a disinfectant and a towel to treat her wounds. She looked around, her head wobbling and her eyes cloudy, stunned.
Alexander returned and placed the equipment beside her: Don't worry. How are you feeling?
Sam frowned: Hm? (she put a hand on her forehead) Headache. Bad headache.
Alexander pointed to her arms: May I?
Sam looked at her arms and widened her eyes in panic: What the-?
The pain awoke at the sight of her lacerations and she panicked.
Alexander: Don't worry. Spasmophilia. I think you were still under hypnosis and had not yet regained consciousness.
He insisted again on his gesture to see if he could take care of her wounds. She nodded and swallowed. She looked up and furtively looked around to make sure they were alone and that no cameras had captured this. She relaxed slightly when she realized that they were not and looked again at her wounds. He lifted her arms, put the towel underneath and sprayed her wounds with disinfectant. She noticed that she also had blood under her nails and winced.
Alexander examined her wounds more intensely: I will review the revival procedure for you. It doesn't suit you. Keep your arms up, please. (She complied, silently. He slid his stool near the work surface and looked in the drawer of bandages) It's my fault, forgive me. You warned me that you had experience and... I should have added your experience in interrogations and other missions.
Sam frowned: What's the connection?
Alexander bandaged her first arm: Let's say your brain may have learned to protect itself.
Sam moved the second arm, sarcastically: It's strangely protective.
Alexander: Um, everyone is different. (he tilted his head and tried) Self-lacerating is a very common thing in traumatized people. (she gritted her teeth and grimaced) Why this reaction?
Sam: It's not going to go on my record, is it?
Alexander finished the first bandage: No. It's a promise. (she nodded and relaxed a bit. He continued calmly) Too much intense emotion. The brain doesn't know how to react to soothe them, so it orders the body to hurt itself to have a good reason to hurt. (He shrugged and began to bandage the second one) That's all.
Sam rolled her eyes, low: Great.
Alexander frowned at her reaction: Don't blame yourself for that. (He took a more cheerful tone) I hope, however, that it won't scare you away from my next sessions.
Sam, jaded: Do I have a choice?
He froze for a fraction of a second, then finished his bandage in silence. She winced, he had nothing to do with it, he had been hired, he was just doing his job after all. And he seemed nice, she thought. Shit, she should be more understanding with Dr. Williams, she noticed. She too was only doing what she had been asked to do.
Echo:
*Problem? / The second problem? Why is that a problem? / The problem with / "benign" problems / Those problems / problematic for you*
*Look.*
*So? - So*
*Headache. Bad headache.*
*This drug is very common. / a very common*
*you had experience / your experience*
*to our sessions? / from my next sessions.*
*to protect itself. / It's strangely protective.*
*for a private company / This company / of this company*
*Oh. / Oh?
*if you don't mind?*
*What's wrong with that? / What's wrong?*
*How are you feeling today? / How are you feeling?*
*with exercise / not much time for exercise*
*Don't worry.*
*this paragraph opens and closes with an ironic "great"*
*Why this reaction? /how to react*
*That's all.*
*Sometimes*
Notes:
*Video: Men and women experience physical pain differently? And while doctors are there to help us diagnose and treat health conditions, there’s a good chance their unconscious biases can impact how seriously they take your pain. (source) (source)*
*Article: New NASA radiation standards for astronauts seen as leveling field for women (source)*
*Article: Female Astronauts Face Discrimination from Space Radiation Concerns, Astronauts Say (source)*
*Article: The medical research gender gap: how excluding women from clinical trials is hurting our health (source)*
*Article: Making women and girls visible: Gender data gaps and why they matter (source)*
*Video: in 2023, female dummies are finally used for car crash tests (source)*
*Video: racism in technology (source)*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*