Sitting in front of the desk, she reached for the medical file she was handing her.
Sam: What's this?
Lam: Your chorionic gonadotropin hormone levels.
Sam closed the file without checking, knowing full well what she was implying: You... (she thought back to her last interrogation with the IOA) Have you told anyone?
Lam shook her head negatively: The procedure requires a minimum of 3 months before referring to-
The military woman quickly moved her hand in front of her so that she wouldn't add anything more, knowing full well that she must be pregnant from the last time, about three weeks ago when she'd had one of those conferences at Andrews where she'd been able to escape for a few hours in a Washington DC hotel.
Sam nervously moved the file in front of the doctor: Could you...?
Lam retrieved it: What file? (Sam nodded her thanks but moistened her lips with nervousness) Obstetrics is far from my specialty. I can contact a colleague who works at the Air Force Academy hospital if I need to.
Sam: That won't be necessary, thank you. (quickly, but trying to sound natural) Can I go now?
The doctor was skeptical of her behavior but respected her choice not to broach the subject.
Lam smiled politely: Yeah. Sure.
Sam left the infirmary and couldn't contain a slight smile at this news once alone in the corridors.
Notes:
*Chorionic Gonadotropic Hormone (CGH) is a hormone produced during pregnancy by the embryo shortly after conception. (source)*
*Andrews Air Force Base is about ten miles from Washington DC (source)*
Sam: What's this?
Lam: Your chorionic gonadotropin hormone levels.
Sam closed the file without checking, knowing full well what she was implying: You... (she thought back to her last interrogation with the IOA) Have you told anyone?
Lam shook her head negatively: The procedure requires a minimum of 3 months before referring to-
The military woman quickly moved her hand in front of her so that she wouldn't add anything more, knowing full well that she must be pregnant from the last time, about three weeks ago when she'd had one of those conferences at Andrews where she'd been able to escape for a few hours in a Washington DC hotel.
Sam nervously moved the file in front of the doctor: Could you...?
Lam retrieved it: What file? (Sam nodded her thanks but moistened her lips with nervousness) Obstetrics is far from my specialty. I can contact a colleague who works at the Air Force Academy hospital if I need to.
Sam: That won't be necessary, thank you. (quickly, but trying to sound natural) Can I go now?
The doctor was skeptical of her behavior but respected her choice not to broach the subject.
Lam smiled politely: Yeah. Sure.
Sam left the infirmary and couldn't contain a slight smile at this news once alone in the corridors.
Notes:
*Chorionic Gonadotropic Hormone (CGH) is a hormone produced during pregnancy by the embryo shortly after conception. (source)*
*Andrews Air Force Base is about ten miles from Washington DC (source)*
CW: *racism* *mention of segregation* *white feminist* *sexism*
Having settled on a fruit salad due to an inexplicable shortage of blue jell-o, she had joined Daniel and Teal'c already seated around a table.
Sam apprehensively: the General's reaction was...
Daniel finishes his cup of café au lait: Strange.
Teal'c: General Hammond has said the same thing more than once. Even though he's often contradicted the idea by going out in the field himself.
Sam: That's what bothers me. (she insisted) Here there was no risk of sending other teams to continue the search.
Daniel: It was just a question of funding. We had to hold him to account.
She nodded slightly in agreement.
Teal'c stared at them one by one before questioning: Explain.
Daniel took a deep breath: Well... The military tradition is very old. America was formed by war. Combat is a kind of test that proves you're American. (he sank into his seat) And it's also the best social elevator via education (he mumbled cynically) which might as well be defined as "indoctrination".
Sam, jaded: Oh, please.
Daniel moved his hand to return to the main topic: For some people, however, the army remains the only way to gain access to training, especially technical training, in exchange for an obligation to serve.
Sam pointed her spoon at Daniel: That's how O'Neill got in. (Then she turned to Teal'c) As for me, it cost me $2,900,000 for my training alone. (she looked at Daniel, who had frozen) I think that's why I wasn't one of you on the Abydos mission.
Daniel dumbfounded: You-You counted how many you...?
She plunged her gaze into her salad so as not to have to admit that it wasn't the only thing she was counting. Daniel frowned at her non-answer.
Teal'c stared at them one by one, not understanding the problem: Five hundred of gold.
They lifted their heads towards him. Daniel made a quick gesture at his neck so that his friend wouldn't add anything more, already imagining Sam taking offense - for good reason - when she learned that they'd negotiated her buyout and that no, she wasn't going to be "thrilled" to learn that detail, nor that she'd been traded in for a Beretta M9 worth less than $1,000.
Sam, faced with his reaction: Hu?
Daniel cleared his throat: Err....An old story. (he put his glasses back on correctly and equivocated the subject by taking up the previous one) Public school here costs an average of $10,000 a year, including housing. It takes about 4 years to get a degree. In the private sector, either a... better access to...Well...
Sam: Research equipment, good professors, the prestige of the institution's reputation...
Daniel nodded: Well-stocked libraries... It's more like $48,000 a year.
Sam: That's $192,000 for a basic degree. (she moved her hand sluggishly) The Air Force diploma is about $416,000.
Teal'c: So you have to pay it back for the rest of your life.
Sam: No, no. I mean... (she looked at Daniel and winced) It depends.
Daniel shook his head as he looked at her, then answered Teal'c: I finished paying it off 5 years ago. (he grinned broadly) The pay's pretty good.
Sam nodded several times, amused by his reaction: Really?
Daniel sighed: I don't know where I'd be if this program hadn't recruited me. (he lost himself in thought for a few seconds) Maybe teaching archaeology.
Sam tried: Nice pyramid system.
She couldn't contain her pride at his joke.
Daniel squinted at her: Or teach languages.
She smiled wider.
Teal'c: And you, Colonel Carter?
Sam juggled her gaze between her two friends: Well... it's not exactly the same repayment process.
Daniel took a sip and sounded falsely innocent: They pay with their lives.
Sam gave him a blasé look, then explained to Teal'c: We have to serve in order to-
Daniel pointed: "Serve". (he insisted, looking at her with a slight smile) In both senses of the word.
Sam chuckled, but remained diplomatic: We get paid for our years of service.
Daniel: And most come back with post-traumatic stress disorders or disabilities from the horrors of the field. (He gave her a cynical smile and she took a deep breath to try and relax. He limply moved a hand toward her and defended himself) Hey. The whole school system is up for review, not just this one.
Sam resumed more calmly to Teal'c: It depends on the number of years of study and the needs in the field.
Teal'c: How much for you and O'neill?
Sam : No idea about O'neill. (She moved a hand toward Daniel) But I suppose your mission on Abydos and the BlackOps may have made it easier for him to negotiate his initial debt. And me... Hmm. (she straightened up) Let's say I finished 2 years ago.
Daniel did a quick calculation: 12 years?
Sam grimaced: Well… I took options. A lot.
Daniel to Teal'c: These discrepancies lead to imbalances in the population. People without diplomas find it much harder to have a decent life, or on the contrary, have too many diplomas compared to what the market has to offer. This system, which would normally serve to share our knowledge, creates competition where there shouldn't be any.
Sam tilted her head at the memory of her honor rolls: They teach us competition just by giving us grades.
Daniel: And let's not forget that school segregation still existed less than 50 years ago. (He moved his hand) The gaps are still there.
Teal'c contracted his jaw several times: On Chulak, we train the youngest without asking for anything in return, and without becoming Jaffa.
She refrained from asking him if Chulak had followed Ishta's and her sisters' lead in training young girls too, thinking it unseemly.
Daniel looked at him: Welcome to Earth. (He put his cup to his lips) You're delighted to "serve" our cause, aren't you?
Both men frowned with a strange déjà-vu, while Sam was lost in thought.
Sam confessed with apprehension about sounding crazy: I've got a bad feeling.
Teal'c: About what?
Sam discreetly checked again that no one was listening, and added more quietly: About these changes in protocol.
The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, understanding that she was talking about the IOA. Daniel didn't have time to retort that perhaps she was just suspicious, as she wasn't used to collaborating with a public institution: Cameron appeared and walked towards them with a tray in hand.
Sam to Daniel and Teal'c: Not a word. (they looked at her, rather surprised, and she added quickly) Give me time. (they stopped themselves from smiling too loudly. Cameron arrived at their level) Hey.
Teal'c: How are you feeling, Colonel Mitchell?
Cameron put down his tray containing a red jell-o and sat down: Stiffed for life, but alive.
Daniel gently patted his shoulder and stood up: You'll excuse me, but I still have work to do on my side.
Teal'c rose to his feet: I'm going to train on my side.
Cameron raised his hand: Um, don't mind me, I'm going to take a vacation from this for a few days, eh.
The rest of his team smiled at his joke.
Sam, to Teal'c: I've got to go over some files left over from Area 51. (To both) See you later.
Teal'c inclined his head and left with the archaeologist.
Notes:
*”About these changes in protocol. ” refers to my previous chapter:
(PHONE) Jack huffed and rubbed the back of his neck: I discover at the same time as you all these new... Protocols.
(PHONE) Sam had a backward movement: "Protocols"? The Right to Food is enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”*
*”Sam: I think that's why I wasn't one of you on the Abydos mission.” refers to my chapter:
“Sam:And I was the first one to sign up as a volunteer for the Abydos suicide mission.
Jack frowned: What?
Sam: I think they punished me, I didn't get in. (she frowned) Or bad return on investment, maybe?”*
*”They teach us competition just by giving us grades.” is consistent with Carter's character, who doesn't like competition (more on that later), and also refers to my chapter 2:
“Mark: You were the perfect little girl, the favorite! Always the smartest!
Sam exclaimed: What?!
Mark: I was always in your shadow. Dad was always pushing you forward and-
Sam: That’s not true!”*
*Video: Citizens against the school system (source)*
*Study: Recognition, institutions and military identities (source)*
*Video testimonial: Why I joined the Air Force and why I won't be staying.(source)*
*Article: USA 2016, expensive army (source)*
*Article: Over the past 20 years or so, we've seen the destruction of the university (source)*
*USAF Academy information (source)*
*Information sur Ruby Bridges (source)*
*Article: In 2023, Ruby Bridges is just 66 years old. (source)*
*”You're delighted to "serve" our cause, aren't you?
Both men frowned with a strange déjà-vu” refers to Teal'c's resignation after the Dakara victory in my chapter 13:
Daniel to Teal’c: We're not exactly living up to your expectations of us, are we? ” which was déjà-vu for Teal'c, Jack had already said this to him in season 1 of SG1*
*Video: How about a new look at school values? by Hippolyte Labourdette (source)*
*Video: Einstein, an example of academic failure by Manuella Hachet (source)*
*Article: Do schools teach gender equality? (source)*
*If you didn't get my joke about the pyramid system, think of it as a vicious circle: a school trains a student in archaeology, the archaeologist can't find a job and so works for a school that... trains a student in archaeology... etc.*
*illustration: it's time to fund public schools! (why is it still political??) (source)*
Having settled on a fruit salad due to an inexplicable shortage of blue jell-o, she had joined Daniel and Teal'c already seated around a table.
Sam apprehensively: the General's reaction was...
Daniel finishes his cup of café au lait: Strange.
Teal'c: General Hammond has said the same thing more than once. Even though he's often contradicted the idea by going out in the field himself.
Sam: That's what bothers me. (she insisted) Here there was no risk of sending other teams to continue the search.
Daniel: It was just a question of funding. We had to hold him to account.
She nodded slightly in agreement.
Teal'c stared at them one by one before questioning: Explain.
Daniel took a deep breath: Well... The military tradition is very old. America was formed by war. Combat is a kind of test that proves you're American. (he sank into his seat) And it's also the best social elevator via education (he mumbled cynically) which might as well be defined as "indoctrination".
Sam, jaded: Oh, please.
Daniel moved his hand to return to the main topic: For some people, however, the army remains the only way to gain access to training, especially technical training, in exchange for an obligation to serve.
Sam pointed her spoon at Daniel: That's how O'Neill got in. (Then she turned to Teal'c) As for me, it cost me $2,900,000 for my training alone. (she looked at Daniel, who had frozen) I think that's why I wasn't one of you on the Abydos mission.
Daniel dumbfounded: You-You counted how many you...?
She plunged her gaze into her salad so as not to have to admit that it wasn't the only thing she was counting. Daniel frowned at her non-answer.
Teal'c stared at them one by one, not understanding the problem: Five hundred of gold.
They lifted their heads towards him. Daniel made a quick gesture at his neck so that his friend wouldn't add anything more, already imagining Sam taking offense - for good reason - when she learned that they'd negotiated her buyout and that no, she wasn't going to be "thrilled" to learn that detail, nor that she'd been traded in for a Beretta M9 worth less than $1,000.
Sam, faced with his reaction: Hu?
Daniel cleared his throat: Err....An old story. (he put his glasses back on correctly and equivocated the subject by taking up the previous one) Public school here costs an average of $10,000 a year, including housing. It takes about 4 years to get a degree. In the private sector, either a... better access to...Well...
Sam: Research equipment, good professors, the prestige of the institution's reputation...
Daniel nodded: Well-stocked libraries... It's more like $48,000 a year.
Sam: That's $192,000 for a basic degree. (she moved her hand sluggishly) The Air Force diploma is about $416,000.
Teal'c: So you have to pay it back for the rest of your life.
Sam: No, no. I mean... (she looked at Daniel and winced) It depends.
Daniel shook his head as he looked at her, then answered Teal'c: I finished paying it off 5 years ago. (he grinned broadly) The pay's pretty good.
Sam nodded several times, amused by his reaction: Really?
Daniel sighed: I don't know where I'd be if this program hadn't recruited me. (he lost himself in thought for a few seconds) Maybe teaching archaeology.
Sam tried: Nice pyramid system.
She couldn't contain her pride at his joke.
Daniel squinted at her: Or teach languages.
She smiled wider.
Teal'c: And you, Colonel Carter?
Sam juggled her gaze between her two friends: Well... it's not exactly the same repayment process.
Daniel took a sip and sounded falsely innocent: They pay with their lives.
Sam gave him a blasé look, then explained to Teal'c: We have to serve in order to-
Daniel pointed: "Serve". (he insisted, looking at her with a slight smile) In both senses of the word.
Sam chuckled, but remained diplomatic: We get paid for our years of service.
Daniel: And most come back with post-traumatic stress disorders or disabilities from the horrors of the field. (He gave her a cynical smile and she took a deep breath to try and relax. He limply moved a hand toward her and defended himself) Hey. The whole school system is up for review, not just this one.
Sam resumed more calmly to Teal'c: It depends on the number of years of study and the needs in the field.
Teal'c: How much for you and O'neill?
Sam : No idea about O'neill. (She moved a hand toward Daniel) But I suppose your mission on Abydos and the BlackOps may have made it easier for him to negotiate his initial debt. And me... Hmm. (she straightened up) Let's say I finished 2 years ago.
Daniel did a quick calculation: 12 years?
Sam grimaced: Well… I took options. A lot.
Daniel to Teal'c: These discrepancies lead to imbalances in the population. People without diplomas find it much harder to have a decent life, or on the contrary, have too many diplomas compared to what the market has to offer. This system, which would normally serve to share our knowledge, creates competition where there shouldn't be any.
Sam tilted her head at the memory of her honor rolls: They teach us competition just by giving us grades.
Daniel: And let's not forget that school segregation still existed less than 50 years ago. (He moved his hand) The gaps are still there.
Teal'c contracted his jaw several times: On Chulak, we train the youngest without asking for anything in return, and without becoming Jaffa.
She refrained from asking him if Chulak had followed Ishta's and her sisters' lead in training young girls too, thinking it unseemly.
Daniel looked at him: Welcome to Earth. (He put his cup to his lips) You're delighted to "serve" our cause, aren't you?
Both men frowned with a strange déjà-vu, while Sam was lost in thought.
Sam confessed with apprehension about sounding crazy: I've got a bad feeling.
Teal'c: About what?
Sam discreetly checked again that no one was listening, and added more quietly: About these changes in protocol.
The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, understanding that she was talking about the IOA. Daniel didn't have time to retort that perhaps she was just suspicious, as she wasn't used to collaborating with a public institution: Cameron appeared and walked towards them with a tray in hand.
Sam to Daniel and Teal'c: Not a word. (they looked at her, rather surprised, and she added quickly) Give me time. (they stopped themselves from smiling too loudly. Cameron arrived at their level) Hey.
Teal'c: How are you feeling, Colonel Mitchell?
Cameron put down his tray containing a red jell-o and sat down: Stiffed for life, but alive.
Daniel gently patted his shoulder and stood up: You'll excuse me, but I still have work to do on my side.
Teal'c rose to his feet: I'm going to train on my side.
Cameron raised his hand: Um, don't mind me, I'm going to take a vacation from this for a few days, eh.
The rest of his team smiled at his joke.
Sam, to Teal'c: I've got to go over some files left over from Area 51. (To both) See you later.
Teal'c inclined his head and left with the archaeologist.
Notes:
*”About these changes in protocol. ” refers to my previous chapter:
(PHONE) Jack huffed and rubbed the back of his neck: I discover at the same time as you all these new... Protocols.
(PHONE) Sam had a backward movement: "Protocols"? The Right to Food is enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”*
*”Sam: I think that's why I wasn't one of you on the Abydos mission.” refers to my chapter:
“Sam:And I was the first one to sign up as a volunteer for the Abydos suicide mission.
Jack frowned: What?
Sam: I think they punished me, I didn't get in. (she frowned) Or bad return on investment, maybe?”*
*”They teach us competition just by giving us grades.” is consistent with Carter's character, who doesn't like competition (more on that later), and also refers to my chapter 2:
“Mark: You were the perfect little girl, the favorite! Always the smartest!
Sam exclaimed: What?!
Mark: I was always in your shadow. Dad was always pushing you forward and-
Sam: That’s not true!”*
*Video: Citizens against the school system (source)*
*Study: Recognition, institutions and military identities (source)*
*Video testimonial: Why I joined the Air Force and why I won't be staying.(source)*
*Article: USA 2016, expensive army (source)*
*Article: Over the past 20 years or so, we've seen the destruction of the university (source)*
*USAF Academy information (source)*
*Information sur Ruby Bridges (source)*
*Article: In 2023, Ruby Bridges is just 66 years old. (source)*
*”You're delighted to "serve" our cause, aren't you?
Both men frowned with a strange déjà-vu” refers to Teal'c's resignation after the Dakara victory in my chapter 13:
Daniel to Teal’c: We're not exactly living up to your expectations of us, are we? ” which was déjà-vu for Teal'c, Jack had already said this to him in season 1 of SG1*
*Video: How about a new look at school values? by Hippolyte Labourdette (source)*
*Video: Einstein, an example of academic failure by Manuella Hachet (source)*
*Article: Do schools teach gender equality? (source)*
*If you didn't get my joke about the pyramid system, think of it as a vicious circle: a school trains a student in archaeology, the archaeologist can't find a job and so works for a school that... trains a student in archaeology... etc.*
*illustration: it's time to fund public schools! (why is it still political??) (source)*
CW: *racism* *white fragility* *tone policing* *sexism*
Cameron, once alone with her: Well? Did you miss me?
Sam smiles: We're glad you're back.
Cameron exaggerated his undertone: Likewise.
She tilted her head and gave him a little air to thank him for his kindness. He swallowed a mouthful of his snack and she picked up on a detail. Red, he liked red jell-o, just like Jack. She looked up at the refrigerated counter, hoping to catch a glimpse of her favorite dessert, but was disappointed again. She looked back at him and saw him silently questioning her, curious about her behavior.
Sam regained her composure: I need to talk to you about something.
Cameron swallowed another mouthful: Something serious?
Sam tilted her head: Let's say delicate.
Cameron straightened up: I'm listening.
Sam launched herself with a touch of apprehension: On P9G-844, you imitated Teal'c's voice.
Cameron: So?
Sam, a little too firmly than she would have liked: Don't do that again.
Cameron, stunned: Uh?
Sam: Look, I don't know how it works interplanetally, but on Earth, at least, it's not something to do.
Cameron frowned: Did I offend him?
Sam moistened her lips and thought of a better definition: Blasé?
Cameron raised his eyebrows: "Blasé"?
Sam didn't hide her insistence that he understand the implication: Don't treat Teal'c any differently.
Cameron looked up: Sam...
Sam raised a hand toward him: Don't be offended. (he looked at her, definitely blasé about her verbal ping-pong) Try to understand my point, will you? Repeat her sentence... (she grimaced) Well, I'd take it personally, but adding that tone... Uh.
Cameron sank back in his seat, weary of the discussion: Jackson didn't object either.
Sam tilted her head: Oooh he got my little speech too.
Cameron raised his eyebrows: You gave a language course to a linguist?
Sam chuckled: Apparently.
Cameron took a deep breath: Okay. (He swallowed another bite of his snack and Sam cursed the canteen workers again for not making his favorite dessert. He repeated himself to get her to continue her point) I'm listening.
Sam: Imitating the accent or way of speaking of certain categories of people is disrespectful.
Cameron : It was a joke, Sam.
Sam: A joke for whom?
Cameron spread his hands in front of her: For us!
Sam: Teal'c understand?
Cameron shrugged, obviously: Yes.
Sam: And he took it well?
Cameron grew impatient: He didn't say anything.
Sam grew impatient with his impatience: Don't make fun of the way he talks.
Cameron rolled his eyes for a split second: And what did Jackson think of all this?
She restrained herself from rolling her eyes, cursing herself for not asking Daniel to explain the problem himself.
Sam didn't let up: Why worry about his reaction and not take into account the fact that it bothered Teal'c? (he winced at having to admit it to himself and she added with a hint of annoyance at needing Daniel's justification to make her point) And if you must know, Daniel gave me a linguistics course on racial stereotypes to confirm my thinking.
Cameron re-confirmed his point: Teal'c didn't tell me anything.
Sam: He doesn't know you well enough. I had this conversation with him years ago. (she insisted, still not feeling her way) He told me himself.
Cameron, nonchalantly: Sam. Relax. (she twitched nervously at the use of that word) You're getting yourself all worked up over nothing.
Sam moistened her lips to keep from getting angry and added firmly: You don't have to make Teal'c understand that he's different from us, am I clear?
Cameron insisted: It's all right.
She felt a wave of anger run through her, feeling the unpleasant sensation of talking to a wall. The fact that he didn't care if it bothered Teal'c irritated her to no end. She felt she'd been patient with his explanation, but the man wasn't trying to understand, and that didn't bode well for the future. How could she trust someone who didn't question himself for a second?
Having nevertheless promised herself never to take the path of her many superiors, she did everything she could to keep her cool. Ever since the report signed by Doctor Lee on O'neill's disappearance, she'd wanted to show that there was another path to violence, even if deep down she felt it unfair to force herself to do so: the men themselves - O'neill himself - could have an impressive list of reports of insubordination, and end up at the top of the pyramid without any problems. Or a lack of reports, for that matter: she and Daniel could very well have brought up certain facts over the years. She immediately thought back to Alar and promised herself one more thing: tonight, she would exceed the speed limit on her motorcycle.
Sam tried another approach: What's to stop you from making these kinds of "jokes"? Is it so hard for you to say "I was wrong-sorry-my-pot-I won't do it again", (she insisted on his rank) Lieutenant-Colonel?
After a defiant glance, he swallowed, having never seen her react like this, but knowing full well the hearsay of her temperament and determination. The fact that she insisted on her rank - the same as his - implied only one thing: if need be, she'd leave the team as quickly as she'd just returned, to find another with a much clearer chain of command. She'd take back the lead she'd had before him, after all. The shame and dishonor would be hers, he thought, and Daniel and Teal'c would follow. He, on the other hand, would get all the gossip about his inability to handle this kind of situation. If he wanted to remain part of SG-1 with them, to learn from the best, he'd have to trust her. Daniel himself had apparently understood the problem... Yet something had been unsettling the pilot since his arrival at the SGC.
Cameron sank back into his seat and stared at her: Put your goddaughter aside for a moment. Why are you here? (she questioned him with her eyes, hiding her surprise at this change of subject. He moved his hand limply to invite her to be sincere) Oh come on, Sam. I know I'm older than you, but I also know I got my promotion way after you did.
Sam, skeptical: You were convalescing.
Cameron: After you helped save the world for the first time, yeah yeah. (he stared at her) You served in the field with the best for 7 years before your promotion. (she moistened her lips with nervousness and sank back into her seat, looking away - hating this competitive spirit - but also looking for a way to buy time for a decent lie) Remind me how many times you saved the world?
Sam gently reframed him: Cam.
Cameron persisted: Why are our places what they are?
They looked at each other intensely.
Sam, cautiously: Because they're our places.
He stared at her for a moment with the strange sensation that she was trying to make him understand something. He frowned slightly at her code, which he couldn't quite decipher, then decided to return to the first subject, putting it in the back of his mind to work out the meaning later.
Cameron resumed normally: Should I go and apologize?
Sam offered: It won't kill you, will it? (he still seemed lost in thought. She raised her eyebrows that he was still thinking about not going and took a sarcastic tone) Unless respect for others isn't so important on your team.
Cameron froze: Don't doubt it. (he insisted) I want everything to go well.
They continued to stare at each other for a few seconds.
Sam frowned slightly: What are you waiting for?
He grabbed the rest of his red jell-o and left quickly. She rolled her eyes and finished her fruit salad.
Notes:
*In SG1 1x13 Hathor, Jack tells Sam “ Captain, if you don't mind my saying so, you're treating her exactly the way you hate to see people treat Teal'c”*
*Ben Browder (Cameron Mitchell's age unknown): December 11, 1962 (6 years older than Sam) (source)*
*Cameron was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel after the events of 7x21 Lost City Part 2. Carter after 8x02 New Order. During episode 901 Avalon, we get flashbacks of Cameron in the hospital. We know that several months have passed because we see Christmas decorations in the background, and that he's had to learn to walk again. When Sam goes to see him in hospital, she's already got his Lieutenant Colonel badges.(source 1) (source 2) (source 3)*
*Article on the trope “Pretty fly for a white guy” (so Cameron did in this episode) "If you're not particularly xenophobic or ethnocentric, you might find parts of other cultures interesting or cool. So you might want to try at least occasionally to imitate some part of that culture, like dialect, slang or accent. Now, the problem is that you don't have a thorough understanding of the culture's origins and meanings, so you should at least be very careful about what you're about to imitate, preferably with a little practice first.” (source)*
*Video: "My mouth is a battlefield! A clash of inflexible cultures clashing for dominance. My tongue is a traumatized survivor...” (source)*
*Article: Saying you're not racist isn't enough (source)*
*Video: Click languages(source)*
*Article: France, love it or shut up? (source)*
*Video: Defenders of racists turned away (source)*
*Comic strip: talking to a wall(source)*
*I had to work on Carter's character this way because that's how he's written, but it's a sexist thing in the sense that other male characters - and men in real life - don't have the problem of being able to expose their anger as a leader. I think Carter and Amanda are right, you can indeed manage differently but it's still tone policing because you'd never say that to men. I wanted to emphasize this point in my fanfic*
*The tone policing (source)*
*Article: an example of tone policing and white fragility in the field of cultural appropriation (source)*
*Video: Female rage VERSUS (source)*
*Article: A woman's duty is not to be nice to you (source)*
*Comic strip: "What's the difference between being assertive and aggressive?" (source)*
*Study: 23% of men aged 25 to 34 think they sometimes have to be violent to get respect (source)*
*Another example Carter could have written against O'neill (source)*
*Article: The judgment of others doesn't define your personality. (source)*
Bonus:
*Click here*
Cameron, once alone with her: Well? Did you miss me?
Sam smiles: We're glad you're back.
Cameron exaggerated his undertone: Likewise.
She tilted her head and gave him a little air to thank him for his kindness. He swallowed a mouthful of his snack and she picked up on a detail. Red, he liked red jell-o, just like Jack. She looked up at the refrigerated counter, hoping to catch a glimpse of her favorite dessert, but was disappointed again. She looked back at him and saw him silently questioning her, curious about her behavior.
Sam regained her composure: I need to talk to you about something.
Cameron swallowed another mouthful: Something serious?
Sam tilted her head: Let's say delicate.
Cameron straightened up: I'm listening.
Sam launched herself with a touch of apprehension: On P9G-844, you imitated Teal'c's voice.
Cameron: So?
Sam, a little too firmly than she would have liked: Don't do that again.
Cameron, stunned: Uh?
Sam: Look, I don't know how it works interplanetally, but on Earth, at least, it's not something to do.
Cameron frowned: Did I offend him?
Sam moistened her lips and thought of a better definition: Blasé?
Cameron raised his eyebrows: "Blasé"?
Sam didn't hide her insistence that he understand the implication: Don't treat Teal'c any differently.
Cameron looked up: Sam...
Sam raised a hand toward him: Don't be offended. (he looked at her, definitely blasé about her verbal ping-pong) Try to understand my point, will you? Repeat her sentence... (she grimaced) Well, I'd take it personally, but adding that tone... Uh.
Cameron sank back in his seat, weary of the discussion: Jackson didn't object either.
Sam tilted her head: Oooh he got my little speech too.
Cameron raised his eyebrows: You gave a language course to a linguist?
Sam chuckled: Apparently.
Cameron took a deep breath: Okay. (He swallowed another bite of his snack and Sam cursed the canteen workers again for not making his favorite dessert. He repeated himself to get her to continue her point) I'm listening.
Sam: Imitating the accent or way of speaking of certain categories of people is disrespectful.
Cameron : It was a joke, Sam.
Sam: A joke for whom?
Cameron spread his hands in front of her: For us!
Sam: Teal'c understand?
Cameron shrugged, obviously: Yes.
Sam: And he took it well?
Cameron grew impatient: He didn't say anything.
Sam grew impatient with his impatience: Don't make fun of the way he talks.
Cameron rolled his eyes for a split second: And what did Jackson think of all this?
She restrained herself from rolling her eyes, cursing herself for not asking Daniel to explain the problem himself.
Sam didn't let up: Why worry about his reaction and not take into account the fact that it bothered Teal'c? (he winced at having to admit it to himself and she added with a hint of annoyance at needing Daniel's justification to make her point) And if you must know, Daniel gave me a linguistics course on racial stereotypes to confirm my thinking.
Cameron re-confirmed his point: Teal'c didn't tell me anything.
Sam: He doesn't know you well enough. I had this conversation with him years ago. (she insisted, still not feeling her way) He told me himself.
Cameron, nonchalantly: Sam. Relax. (she twitched nervously at the use of that word) You're getting yourself all worked up over nothing.
Sam moistened her lips to keep from getting angry and added firmly: You don't have to make Teal'c understand that he's different from us, am I clear?
Cameron insisted: It's all right.
She felt a wave of anger run through her, feeling the unpleasant sensation of talking to a wall. The fact that he didn't care if it bothered Teal'c irritated her to no end. She felt she'd been patient with his explanation, but the man wasn't trying to understand, and that didn't bode well for the future. How could she trust someone who didn't question himself for a second?
Having nevertheless promised herself never to take the path of her many superiors, she did everything she could to keep her cool. Ever since the report signed by Doctor Lee on O'neill's disappearance, she'd wanted to show that there was another path to violence, even if deep down she felt it unfair to force herself to do so: the men themselves - O'neill himself - could have an impressive list of reports of insubordination, and end up at the top of the pyramid without any problems. Or a lack of reports, for that matter: she and Daniel could very well have brought up certain facts over the years. She immediately thought back to Alar and promised herself one more thing: tonight, she would exceed the speed limit on her motorcycle.
Sam tried another approach: What's to stop you from making these kinds of "jokes"? Is it so hard for you to say "I was wrong-sorry-my-pot-I won't do it again", (she insisted on his rank) Lieutenant-Colonel?
After a defiant glance, he swallowed, having never seen her react like this, but knowing full well the hearsay of her temperament and determination. The fact that she insisted on her rank - the same as his - implied only one thing: if need be, she'd leave the team as quickly as she'd just returned, to find another with a much clearer chain of command. She'd take back the lead she'd had before him, after all. The shame and dishonor would be hers, he thought, and Daniel and Teal'c would follow. He, on the other hand, would get all the gossip about his inability to handle this kind of situation. If he wanted to remain part of SG-1 with them, to learn from the best, he'd have to trust her. Daniel himself had apparently understood the problem... Yet something had been unsettling the pilot since his arrival at the SGC.
Cameron sank back into his seat and stared at her: Put your goddaughter aside for a moment. Why are you here? (she questioned him with her eyes, hiding her surprise at this change of subject. He moved his hand limply to invite her to be sincere) Oh come on, Sam. I know I'm older than you, but I also know I got my promotion way after you did.
Sam, skeptical: You were convalescing.
Cameron: After you helped save the world for the first time, yeah yeah. (he stared at her) You served in the field with the best for 7 years before your promotion. (she moistened her lips with nervousness and sank back into her seat, looking away - hating this competitive spirit - but also looking for a way to buy time for a decent lie) Remind me how many times you saved the world?
Sam gently reframed him: Cam.
Cameron persisted: Why are our places what they are?
They looked at each other intensely.
Sam, cautiously: Because they're our places.
He stared at her for a moment with the strange sensation that she was trying to make him understand something. He frowned slightly at her code, which he couldn't quite decipher, then decided to return to the first subject, putting it in the back of his mind to work out the meaning later.
Cameron resumed normally: Should I go and apologize?
Sam offered: It won't kill you, will it? (he still seemed lost in thought. She raised her eyebrows that he was still thinking about not going and took a sarcastic tone) Unless respect for others isn't so important on your team.
Cameron froze: Don't doubt it. (he insisted) I want everything to go well.
They continued to stare at each other for a few seconds.
Sam frowned slightly: What are you waiting for?
He grabbed the rest of his red jell-o and left quickly. She rolled her eyes and finished her fruit salad.
Notes:
*In SG1 1x13 Hathor, Jack tells Sam “ Captain, if you don't mind my saying so, you're treating her exactly the way you hate to see people treat Teal'c”*
*Ben Browder (Cameron Mitchell's age unknown): December 11, 1962 (6 years older than Sam) (source)*
*Cameron was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel after the events of 7x21 Lost City Part 2. Carter after 8x02 New Order. During episode 901 Avalon, we get flashbacks of Cameron in the hospital. We know that several months have passed because we see Christmas decorations in the background, and that he's had to learn to walk again. When Sam goes to see him in hospital, she's already got his Lieutenant Colonel badges.(source 1) (source 2) (source 3)*
*Article on the trope “Pretty fly for a white guy” (so Cameron did in this episode) "If you're not particularly xenophobic or ethnocentric, you might find parts of other cultures interesting or cool. So you might want to try at least occasionally to imitate some part of that culture, like dialect, slang or accent. Now, the problem is that you don't have a thorough understanding of the culture's origins and meanings, so you should at least be very careful about what you're about to imitate, preferably with a little practice first.” (source)*
*Video: "My mouth is a battlefield! A clash of inflexible cultures clashing for dominance. My tongue is a traumatized survivor...” (source)*
*Article: Saying you're not racist isn't enough (source)*
*Video: Click languages(source)*
*Article: France, love it or shut up? (source)*
*Video: Defenders of racists turned away (source)*
*Comic strip: talking to a wall(source)*
*I had to work on Carter's character this way because that's how he's written, but it's a sexist thing in the sense that other male characters - and men in real life - don't have the problem of being able to expose their anger as a leader. I think Carter and Amanda are right, you can indeed manage differently but it's still tone policing because you'd never say that to men. I wanted to emphasize this point in my fanfic*
*The tone policing (source)*
*Article: an example of tone policing and white fragility in the field of cultural appropriation (source)*
*Video: Female rage VERSUS (source)*
*Article: A woman's duty is not to be nice to you (source)*
*Comic strip: "What's the difference between being assertive and aggressive?" (source)*
*Study: 23% of men aged 25 to 34 think they sometimes have to be violent to get respect (source)*
*Another example Carter could have written against O'neill (source)*
*Article: The judgment of others doesn't define your personality. (source)*
Bonus:
*Click here*
She studied the brain scan on the computer, then took a few steps to change the settings on the monitor connected to the chair where Khalek appeared to be asleep.
Khalek opened her eyes and smiled: Samantha Carter. (she frowned and turned to the wall-mounted handset) Forces and suffering, the strange duality that is your mind. (he closed his eyes and moaned softly with pleasure) So many lives taken. Tell me about it. Tell me how you k-
(phone) Sam: A doctor for an additional dose of sedatives in isolation room B3.
She hung up and headed for the exit.
Khalek opened his eyes: His life force was sucked out. (from behind, she frowned and did not see the prisoner's puzzled gaze) I can feel it.
Without understanding his words, she quickly left the room while the staff put him back to sleep.
Khalek opened her eyes and smiled: Samantha Carter. (she frowned and turned to the wall-mounted handset) Forces and suffering, the strange duality that is your mind. (he closed his eyes and moaned softly with pleasure) So many lives taken. Tell me about it. Tell me how you k-
(phone) Sam: A doctor for an additional dose of sedatives in isolation room B3.
She hung up and headed for the exit.
Khalek opened his eyes: His life force was sucked out. (from behind, she frowned and did not see the prisoner's puzzled gaze) I can feel it.
Without understanding his words, she quickly left the room while the staff put him back to sleep.
Daniel saw him at the entrance to his office: Hey. (he noticed her class A uniform) Are you celebrating?
Sam advanced towards him: I'm due in Los Angeles. (he questioned her with his eyes, and she put her elbows on the worktop.) Conference with Zephyr, an aeronautics company.
Daniel wondered whether he should raise the subject again: Propaganda, eh?
Sam tilted her head and gave him a knowing look: We've got to keep the cash flowing. (he understood that she was referring in particular to their discussion in the Mess about the cut in funding for, among other things, Cameron's research) I'll be back in the evening.
Daniel apprehended: You wanted to talk to me?
Sam straightened up slightly, worried: How are you?
Daniel feinted an exaggerated smile before plunging back into his work: Fine.
Sam grimaced at his attempt to dodge the subject: It was pretty violent.
Daniel: Well, we had no choice.
Sam: That's not my point.
Daniel lowered his head to his work, tense again: I'm fine.
Sam surprised by his reactions, she gently insisted: Hey, Daniel. Hey, it's me.
He stared at her for a few seconds and realized that she was trying to make him realize that she was trying to re-establish a friendship that had become fragile and a little superficial over the last few months. She was taking a step forward; it was up to him to agree to join her.
Daniel grimaced: Maybe I'm a little... upset?
Sam bent her head: A nice euphemism?
Daniel confessed: Khalek was right. I was happy to kill him. (she stared at him skeptically and he looked at her intensely) Have you ever felt like that?
Sam: What?
Daniel: This gleeful hatred of killing?
He winced at the memory of his intrusion into RepliCarter's brain.
Sam twitched at his expression: What do you want me to say? If I answer "no", you'll feel bad and you'll know I'm lying. If I answer "yes", should we forget the circumstances and be monsters?
Daniel thought for a few seconds and hesitated to broach the subject with her: It's just that before, despite the choices I made, I had this feeling of being protected.
Sam, confused: “Protected”?
Daniel shrugged a shoulder: Oma? (she nodded gently) I suppose she's going to fight Anubis indefinitely to maintain it and so... I won't have the choice of Ascension anymore and...and... And even so! (he insisted) How can we accept another choice after what has just happened? There is no such thing as right and wrong. (he muttered to himself) The proof, even purgatory is biased.
Sam swallowed and confessed after a few seconds of silence: Khalek tried to talk to me. (he looked at her, surprised) I knew exactly what he was going to say and… (she looked away, uncomfortable thinking back to the fact that he'd been in RepliCarter's mind) And so do you, you know.
Daniel concern: What happened?
Sam shrugged a shoulder: I asked for more sedatives... (he swallowed and looked away, shaking his head several times. She continued in a gentle voice, trying to cheer him up) You carried this weight for us, Daniel. No one else could have done it. (she insisted) I couldn't have done it myself. (He stared at her and she smiled as sweetly as she could) It was either him or all of us. And yes, I do have a preference.
Daniel frowned and tensed: I can't help thinking that this jubilation isn't normal!
Sam as gently as ever: No, it isn't. All we can do is make sure that no one ever has to feel it again.
He looked at the objects on his worktop, trying to sort out his thoughts, then stared at her for a moment. She smiled again, looking at him sympathetically.
Daniel, much more calmly: You're very different from her. (Sam's face fell. He became nervous, straightened up and grabbed a notebook to signal that he was going back to work) Sorry about that. I crossed the line again.
Sam raised her hand to him so he wouldn't feel guilty about it: “Different”?
Daniel put down a notebook and hesitated for a few seconds before continuing: Khalek sought power, so did RepliCarter. (she grimaced, but he sensed that she needed to hear this, and that he too needed to tell her these things in order to recapture their past relationship) You fight for others because no one has fought for you. (she understood what he was talking about, and emotion overwhelmed her. Nevertheless, she managed to remain impassive, nodded politely and smiled faintly to thank him for being so attentive to her. He lowered his head, overwhelmed by his own thoughts.) And me… (he picked up a notebook again, looked at his desk full of books and shook his head several times) I wonder who I am now.
He looked up at her, and she seemed as confused by this revelation as he was.
Sam: What do you mean?
Daniel: Well… (he blew out his breath to relieve his stress and looked at the artifacts around him) I... changed Jack over the years, without realizing that he was changing me. (she frowned, and the archaeologist's gaze fell on the bows hanging on the wall, recalling her discussion with Anang here) I always thought that the weapons I used were only for self-defense... That there was always another choice than the final solution.
He turned his head towards her, implicitly asking for help with his torment.
Sam insist: You saved us.
Daniel frowned at her behavior: Is that all it is? Should I deny what I've felt? (he tensed and stammered nervously) T-t-this pleasure?
Sam perplexed: I doubt General O'Neill ever took pleasure in killing.
Daniel, annoyed that she was lying to herself and to him, exclaimed: Oh please… SAM! (she swallowed her sharp reaction and looked away.) And-and-and-and-and not just to kill.(he insisted) To handle.
Sam frowned and questioned him with her eyes: What do you mean?
Daniel: Fifth? (she looked away) And before all that?
Sam thought back to his own years in BlackOps: Before SGC?
Daniel nodded his head: You know him, he's already crossed the line several times. (she bit her lip and looked away again, unable to face the conversation. He began to lose patience for good) Did he tell you why I chose Ascension? (he moved his hand and spoke more rapidly) Other than what happened on Langara, of course.
Sam looked up at him: I suppose it's because you felt you weren't doing enough to change things.
Daniel nodded his head: I really thought I'd done enough with Jack. (he insisted with a gesture of his hand and became irritated) All those years of trying to make him understand things differently. (she swallowed and looked away, he gritted his teeth.) He had to kill Reece.
Sam bent her head and grimaced: We couldn't know if-
Daniel repeated himself, annoyed that she was lying to him when he had entered RepliCarter's mind: Fifth? None of this would have happened if he hadn't shot Rees-
Sam, a little too briskly than she would have liked: Look, I don't know! (she glanced nervously at the door as if trying to escape) Ask him.
She winced at his escape and lowered her head to think. He needed to talk about this subject, feeling as if he were reliving an echo, that dream Shifu had shown him of what he could have become, that ability to kill without worry... He'd felt it with Khalek and needed to talk about it. But she seemed to reject as best she could the shadow she or Jack might carry for her own sanity.
She felt almost schizophrenic again, like with Jolinar, or RepliCarter when she said she had two entities inside her, contradictory. And Daniel must have been feeling exactly the same at that very moment. He needed a friend, but the problem was that she was already dealing with her own traumas. She looked up at him, sensing that a silence had fallen for a moment, and saw him staring intently at her.
Sam, uncomfortable: Daniel, I-
Daniel with disappointment: -should go, yeah. (heartbroken, she tilted her head and begged him with her eyes. He shook his head and tried to hide his frustration by speaking to her in a calm voice.) It's okay, Sam. You don't have to try and save me because no one was there for you.
Sam swallowed, hesitated a moment, then pressed her hand to his forearm: We may take lives, but we save lives. Don't forget that.
She walked away, and he shook his head, exasperated that she didn't understand him: he didn't give a damn about Jack, knowing full well what he was like. What he wanted, what he really wanted her to understand, was that he needed her. But he was also furious with himself for not going to her when she needed him during his own ascent. She might have had less trauma to bear if he'd been there, and his intrusion into RepliCarter's mind hadn't helped their friendship. He clenched his teeth again at the memory of Anubis and gave up trying to fight the pleasure of having killed his son.
Notes:
*"You fight for others because no one has fought for you”, remember that Carter has a character trait of saving/helping those wounded by life*.
*Video: Why is it hard to help a suffering loved one? (source)*
Sam advanced towards him: I'm due in Los Angeles. (he questioned her with his eyes, and she put her elbows on the worktop.) Conference with Zephyr, an aeronautics company.
Daniel wondered whether he should raise the subject again: Propaganda, eh?
Sam tilted her head and gave him a knowing look: We've got to keep the cash flowing. (he understood that she was referring in particular to their discussion in the Mess about the cut in funding for, among other things, Cameron's research) I'll be back in the evening.
Daniel apprehended: You wanted to talk to me?
Sam straightened up slightly, worried: How are you?
Daniel feinted an exaggerated smile before plunging back into his work: Fine.
Sam grimaced at his attempt to dodge the subject: It was pretty violent.
Daniel: Well, we had no choice.
Sam: That's not my point.
Daniel lowered his head to his work, tense again: I'm fine.
Sam surprised by his reactions, she gently insisted: Hey, Daniel. Hey, it's me.
He stared at her for a few seconds and realized that she was trying to make him realize that she was trying to re-establish a friendship that had become fragile and a little superficial over the last few months. She was taking a step forward; it was up to him to agree to join her.
Daniel grimaced: Maybe I'm a little... upset?
Sam bent her head: A nice euphemism?
Daniel confessed: Khalek was right. I was happy to kill him. (she stared at him skeptically and he looked at her intensely) Have you ever felt like that?
Sam: What?
Daniel: This gleeful hatred of killing?
He winced at the memory of his intrusion into RepliCarter's brain.
Sam twitched at his expression: What do you want me to say? If I answer "no", you'll feel bad and you'll know I'm lying. If I answer "yes", should we forget the circumstances and be monsters?
Daniel thought for a few seconds and hesitated to broach the subject with her: It's just that before, despite the choices I made, I had this feeling of being protected.
Sam, confused: “Protected”?
Daniel shrugged a shoulder: Oma? (she nodded gently) I suppose she's going to fight Anubis indefinitely to maintain it and so... I won't have the choice of Ascension anymore and...and... And even so! (he insisted) How can we accept another choice after what has just happened? There is no such thing as right and wrong. (he muttered to himself) The proof, even purgatory is biased.
Sam swallowed and confessed after a few seconds of silence: Khalek tried to talk to me. (he looked at her, surprised) I knew exactly what he was going to say and… (she looked away, uncomfortable thinking back to the fact that he'd been in RepliCarter's mind) And so do you, you know.
Daniel concern: What happened?
Sam shrugged a shoulder: I asked for more sedatives... (he swallowed and looked away, shaking his head several times. She continued in a gentle voice, trying to cheer him up) You carried this weight for us, Daniel. No one else could have done it. (she insisted) I couldn't have done it myself. (He stared at her and she smiled as sweetly as she could) It was either him or all of us. And yes, I do have a preference.
Daniel frowned and tensed: I can't help thinking that this jubilation isn't normal!
Sam as gently as ever: No, it isn't. All we can do is make sure that no one ever has to feel it again.
He looked at the objects on his worktop, trying to sort out his thoughts, then stared at her for a moment. She smiled again, looking at him sympathetically.
Daniel, much more calmly: You're very different from her. (Sam's face fell. He became nervous, straightened up and grabbed a notebook to signal that he was going back to work) Sorry about that. I crossed the line again.
Sam raised her hand to him so he wouldn't feel guilty about it: “Different”?
Daniel put down a notebook and hesitated for a few seconds before continuing: Khalek sought power, so did RepliCarter. (she grimaced, but he sensed that she needed to hear this, and that he too needed to tell her these things in order to recapture their past relationship) You fight for others because no one has fought for you. (she understood what he was talking about, and emotion overwhelmed her. Nevertheless, she managed to remain impassive, nodded politely and smiled faintly to thank him for being so attentive to her. He lowered his head, overwhelmed by his own thoughts.) And me… (he picked up a notebook again, looked at his desk full of books and shook his head several times) I wonder who I am now.
He looked up at her, and she seemed as confused by this revelation as he was.
Sam: What do you mean?
Daniel: Well… (he blew out his breath to relieve his stress and looked at the artifacts around him) I... changed Jack over the years, without realizing that he was changing me. (she frowned, and the archaeologist's gaze fell on the bows hanging on the wall, recalling her discussion with Anang here) I always thought that the weapons I used were only for self-defense... That there was always another choice than the final solution.
He turned his head towards her, implicitly asking for help with his torment.
Sam insist: You saved us.
Daniel frowned at her behavior: Is that all it is? Should I deny what I've felt? (he tensed and stammered nervously) T-t-this pleasure?
Sam perplexed: I doubt General O'Neill ever took pleasure in killing.
Daniel, annoyed that she was lying to herself and to him, exclaimed: Oh please… SAM! (she swallowed her sharp reaction and looked away.) And-and-and-and-and not just to kill.(he insisted) To handle.
Sam frowned and questioned him with her eyes: What do you mean?
Daniel: Fifth? (she looked away) And before all that?
Sam thought back to his own years in BlackOps: Before SGC?
Daniel nodded his head: You know him, he's already crossed the line several times. (she bit her lip and looked away again, unable to face the conversation. He began to lose patience for good) Did he tell you why I chose Ascension? (he moved his hand and spoke more rapidly) Other than what happened on Langara, of course.
Sam looked up at him: I suppose it's because you felt you weren't doing enough to change things.
Daniel nodded his head: I really thought I'd done enough with Jack. (he insisted with a gesture of his hand and became irritated) All those years of trying to make him understand things differently. (she swallowed and looked away, he gritted his teeth.) He had to kill Reece.
Sam bent her head and grimaced: We couldn't know if-
Daniel repeated himself, annoyed that she was lying to him when he had entered RepliCarter's mind: Fifth? None of this would have happened if he hadn't shot Rees-
Sam, a little too briskly than she would have liked: Look, I don't know! (she glanced nervously at the door as if trying to escape) Ask him.
She winced at his escape and lowered her head to think. He needed to talk about this subject, feeling as if he were reliving an echo, that dream Shifu had shown him of what he could have become, that ability to kill without worry... He'd felt it with Khalek and needed to talk about it. But she seemed to reject as best she could the shadow she or Jack might carry for her own sanity.
She felt almost schizophrenic again, like with Jolinar, or RepliCarter when she said she had two entities inside her, contradictory. And Daniel must have been feeling exactly the same at that very moment. He needed a friend, but the problem was that she was already dealing with her own traumas. She looked up at him, sensing that a silence had fallen for a moment, and saw him staring intently at her.
Sam, uncomfortable: Daniel, I-
Daniel with disappointment: -should go, yeah. (heartbroken, she tilted her head and begged him with her eyes. He shook his head and tried to hide his frustration by speaking to her in a calm voice.) It's okay, Sam. You don't have to try and save me because no one was there for you.
Sam swallowed, hesitated a moment, then pressed her hand to his forearm: We may take lives, but we save lives. Don't forget that.
She walked away, and he shook his head, exasperated that she didn't understand him: he didn't give a damn about Jack, knowing full well what he was like. What he wanted, what he really wanted her to understand, was that he needed her. But he was also furious with himself for not going to her when she needed him during his own ascent. She might have had less trauma to bear if he'd been there, and his intrusion into RepliCarter's mind hadn't helped their friendship. He clenched his teeth again at the memory of Anubis and gave up trying to fight the pleasure of having killed his son.
Notes:
*"You fight for others because no one has fought for you”, remember that Carter has a character trait of saving/helping those wounded by life*.
*Video: Why is it hard to help a suffering loved one? (source)*
Sitting by the window, she couldn't stop thinking about their conversation and was looking for a way to put things right. A strange feeling in her stomach made her head for the airplane lavatory. She noticed blood on her underwear before the strong iron around it, closed her eyes and banged on the wall to vent her frustration.
(female) voice behind the door, a few seconds later: It's all right?
Sam reopened her eyes and pulled herself together: Yes. Sorry. It's all right. It's all right. (she looked around for something other than toilet paper, given the amount of blood, and added awkwardly) Hu. Do you have any sanitary towels, please?
(female) voice: Sure, I'll bring it right back.
Sam, nervously: Several. Many thanks.
Notes:
*Comics: I'd like to talk to you about blood (source)*
*Video testimonial: I had a miscarriage (source)*
(female) voice behind the door, a few seconds later: It's all right?
Sam reopened her eyes and pulled herself together: Yes. Sorry. It's all right. It's all right. (she looked around for something other than toilet paper, given the amount of blood, and added awkwardly) Hu. Do you have any sanitary towels, please?
(female) voice: Sure, I'll bring it right back.
Sam, nervously: Several. Many thanks.
Notes:
*Comics: I'd like to talk to you about blood (source)*
*Video testimonial: I had a miscarriage (source)*
TW: *natural termination of pregnancy* *curettage*
After installing the new bed she'd received weeks ago, but which was still sleeping in its box, she decided that this small room in the basement would henceforth serve as her goddaughter's bedroom, whenever she wanted it. She would consider the larger adjoining room - her future craft studio - at a later date. She reassembled the stale boxes, deposited them in the hallway, and headed into the kitchen to open the freezer and take out a packet of frozen peas. She then called the correspondent's number stored in the phonebook as she headed for the living room.
(Phone) Jack: Hey.
(Phone) Sam: Hey. Your day?
(Phone) Jack looked for something in the bookcase of his office: Hum, I survived. Did you? Los Angeles, huh?
(Phone) Sam exited through the glass door: Errrh. Let's not talk about that, shall we?
(Phone) Jack saw the nervousness in her voice and stopped looking: Are you all right?
(Phone) Sam hesitated: I took a hit of zat today.
(Phone) Jack not seeing the problem: And?
(Phone) Sam: And…
(Phone) Jack: Damn, I didn't have it. (he repeated himself) Are you all right?
(Phone) Sam tried to act as if nothing had happened: We knew the risks.
(Phone) Jack frowned at her behavior: Don’t do that.
(Phone) Sam took a deep breath and sat down on the steps: I honestly don't know how I'm doing and I'm not sure I want to talk about it. (she placed the freezer bag on her lower abdomen to soothe the pain of the curettage performed by Doctor Brightman in all discretion thanks to the Asgard teleportation stone, looked at the stars and he resumed his search.) I was just keeping you informed of the situation.
(Phone) Jack hesitated to broach the subject: : And the situation makes you prefer to try again or...?
(Phone) Sam, quickly: Try again. (There was silence, then she found another topic of conversation.) Uh. I need you to call Daniel.
(Phone) Jack looked in another cupboard: Hum. Already done.
(Phone) Sam swallowed her saliva with difficulty: So?
(Phone) Jack unfolded a new tea towel from the cupboard: So the conversation was quick. I advised him to make an appointment with Dr. Williams.
(Phone) Sam raised her eyebrows, surprised at his answer and that she hadn't thought of it: Well, that was pretty good advice.
(Phone) Jack confessed with difficulty: Yeah well... She's got some great advice for me.
(Phone) Sam realized he was continuing his therapy and changed the subject: Hum. Stark Consortium?
(Phone) Jack placed the tea towel next to the filing cabinet and the bowl of water: Humm?
(Phone) Sam: The company specializing in space engineering and technology?
(Phone) Jack frowned and searched his memory: That sounds vaguely familiar.
(Phone) Sam: A Farrow Marshall industry.
(Phone) Jack grimaça et s’installa sur une chaise du plan de travail: Oh, yes. Ba'al. What's up?
(Phone) Sam: Last March? (she tilted her head and tried) Haven't you read the memos?
(Phone) Jack opened the binder and said innocently: A Farrow Marshall industry, you say…?
(Phone) Sam: A conference to close a financial partnership with the French Ministry of Defense. (she hesitated) You gave me the order, implying that if I didn't, I'd have to explain my days off to the Pentagon myself.
(Phone) Jack looked away and remembered the anniversary of his son's death: Euurh. Got it.
(Phone) Sam, lower: I don't want to participate in this either.
(Phone) Jack grabbed the stamp tongs: I know
Silence.
(Phone) Sam se ressaisit: Bon anniversaire. (elle pencha la tête) Un peu en retard.
(Phone) Jack dodged a smile: Thanks. I received your gift. (it will correct itself more sharply) Your 53 gifts. (On the kitchen counter lay a multitude of postcards from various countries. Most were signed by Cassie with a "Happy Birthday!" but some had different handwriting. One was a black-and-white photo of the women's baseball team, the Milwaukee Chicks, and on the back it read "magnet". Then he looked at a card from India) How did you do that?
(Phone) Sam, a little uncomfortable: Well, the stone originally intended for Alec is useless to him. It's programmed to work in Earth orbit.
(Phone) Jack understood: Alpha site.
(Phone) Sam: Yeah. (always feeling a little guilty about using stone for personal reasons) Doctor Dang told me to keep it for the time being.
(Phone) Jack: Cool. (he looked at another map, this time of Mozambique, where he again recognized Cassandra's handwriting) Cass' must have been delighted, especially to do this with you.
(Phone) Sam, with a hint of regret at having taken so long: Yeah. I try to keep my promises.
(Phone) Jack murmured, very touched by their gift: Thanks.
Notes:
*”I don't want to participate in this.” fait référence à mon premier chapitre quand Daniel Ascensionné discute avec Oma et Morphée:
Daniel, angry: You have no right to do that! (they remained silent, he shook his head and ranted) I don't want to participate in this.
But also to my previous chapter:
(PHONE) Sam lower and quickly to prevent an argument: I don't want to participate in this..”*
*“Hum. Stark Consortium?” and “Conference with Zephyr, an aeronautics company.” (in the previous paragraph) refers to the canon saga, but also to my chapter 13:
“Jack arranged some more on his desk: Your plane tickets and mission ord- (he recovered quickly) interventions. For the month.
Sam raised her eyebrows and searched through the multitude of pages in the file: "Amarin Tech Pharma" (she raised her eyebrows) "Abbott Laboratories", "Devlin Medical Technologies"... (she looked up at him, almost jaded) Sir, seriously, (she insisted) it's a medical doctor they need. (she shook the file slightly) I have more and more of them, it's getting ridiculous. I can understand about Stark Consortium and Zephyr, but-
Jack looked at her and added coldly: You have your orders, Colonel. (she opened her mouth but he beat her to it and raised a hand to her) Unless you want to personally explain to the Pentagon why SG-1 hasn't been on an offworld mission in a month.”*
*Reminder of my chapter 15:
“Sam: She's got your address?
Jack grimaced slightly with guilt: We sent postcards. ”*
*Article: the difference between talking to a friend and therapy. (source)*
*Article: Let's not play shrink with our friends(source)*
*"magnet" and the "Milwaukee Chicks" refer to Anang calling Jack "Magnet Chicks", as well as Jack's running gag about magnets and how much he loves baseball (details I've already put several times in my fanfic about their relationship*
*Information sur les Milwaukee Chicks (source)*
*I put Mozambique as a nod to episode 807 Affinity:
“KRISTA Wait a minute, Doctor Jackson? You're the archaeologist who hired Teal'c to come over from Mozambique.”*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
After installing the new bed she'd received weeks ago, but which was still sleeping in its box, she decided that this small room in the basement would henceforth serve as her goddaughter's bedroom, whenever she wanted it. She would consider the larger adjoining room - her future craft studio - at a later date. She reassembled the stale boxes, deposited them in the hallway, and headed into the kitchen to open the freezer and take out a packet of frozen peas. She then called the correspondent's number stored in the phonebook as she headed for the living room.
(Phone) Jack: Hey.
(Phone) Sam: Hey. Your day?
(Phone) Jack looked for something in the bookcase of his office: Hum, I survived. Did you? Los Angeles, huh?
(Phone) Sam exited through the glass door: Errrh. Let's not talk about that, shall we?
(Phone) Jack saw the nervousness in her voice and stopped looking: Are you all right?
(Phone) Sam hesitated: I took a hit of zat today.
(Phone) Jack not seeing the problem: And?
(Phone) Sam: And…
(Phone) Jack: Damn, I didn't have it. (he repeated himself) Are you all right?
(Phone) Sam tried to act as if nothing had happened: We knew the risks.
(Phone) Jack frowned at her behavior: Don’t do that.
(Phone) Sam took a deep breath and sat down on the steps: I honestly don't know how I'm doing and I'm not sure I want to talk about it. (she placed the freezer bag on her lower abdomen to soothe the pain of the curettage performed by Doctor Brightman in all discretion thanks to the Asgard teleportation stone, looked at the stars and he resumed his search.) I was just keeping you informed of the situation.
(Phone) Jack hesitated to broach the subject: : And the situation makes you prefer to try again or...?
(Phone) Sam, quickly: Try again. (There was silence, then she found another topic of conversation.) Uh. I need you to call Daniel.
(Phone) Jack looked in another cupboard: Hum. Already done.
(Phone) Sam swallowed her saliva with difficulty: So?
(Phone) Jack unfolded a new tea towel from the cupboard: So the conversation was quick. I advised him to make an appointment with Dr. Williams.
(Phone) Sam raised her eyebrows, surprised at his answer and that she hadn't thought of it: Well, that was pretty good advice.
(Phone) Jack confessed with difficulty: Yeah well... She's got some great advice for me.
(Phone) Sam realized he was continuing his therapy and changed the subject: Hum. Stark Consortium?
(Phone) Jack placed the tea towel next to the filing cabinet and the bowl of water: Humm?
(Phone) Sam: The company specializing in space engineering and technology?
(Phone) Jack frowned and searched his memory: That sounds vaguely familiar.
(Phone) Sam: A Farrow Marshall industry.
(Phone) Jack grimaça et s’installa sur une chaise du plan de travail: Oh, yes. Ba'al. What's up?
(Phone) Sam: Last March? (she tilted her head and tried) Haven't you read the memos?
(Phone) Jack opened the binder and said innocently: A Farrow Marshall industry, you say…?
(Phone) Sam: A conference to close a financial partnership with the French Ministry of Defense. (she hesitated) You gave me the order, implying that if I didn't, I'd have to explain my days off to the Pentagon myself.
(Phone) Jack looked away and remembered the anniversary of his son's death: Euurh. Got it.
(Phone) Sam, lower: I don't want to participate in this either.
(Phone) Jack grabbed the stamp tongs: I know
Silence.
(Phone) Sam se ressaisit: Bon anniversaire. (elle pencha la tête) Un peu en retard.
(Phone) Jack dodged a smile: Thanks. I received your gift. (it will correct itself more sharply) Your 53 gifts. (On the kitchen counter lay a multitude of postcards from various countries. Most were signed by Cassie with a "Happy Birthday!" but some had different handwriting. One was a black-and-white photo of the women's baseball team, the Milwaukee Chicks, and on the back it read "magnet". Then he looked at a card from India) How did you do that?
(Phone) Sam, a little uncomfortable: Well, the stone originally intended for Alec is useless to him. It's programmed to work in Earth orbit.
(Phone) Jack understood: Alpha site.
(Phone) Sam: Yeah. (always feeling a little guilty about using stone for personal reasons) Doctor Dang told me to keep it for the time being.
(Phone) Jack: Cool. (he looked at another map, this time of Mozambique, where he again recognized Cassandra's handwriting) Cass' must have been delighted, especially to do this with you.
(Phone) Sam, with a hint of regret at having taken so long: Yeah. I try to keep my promises.
(Phone) Jack murmured, very touched by their gift: Thanks.
Notes:
*”I don't want to participate in this.” fait référence à mon premier chapitre quand Daniel Ascensionné discute avec Oma et Morphée:
Daniel, angry: You have no right to do that! (they remained silent, he shook his head and ranted) I don't want to participate in this.
But also to my previous chapter:
(PHONE) Sam lower and quickly to prevent an argument: I don't want to participate in this..”*
*“Hum. Stark Consortium?” and “Conference with Zephyr, an aeronautics company.” (in the previous paragraph) refers to the canon saga, but also to my chapter 13:
“Jack arranged some more on his desk: Your plane tickets and mission ord- (he recovered quickly) interventions. For the month.
Sam raised her eyebrows and searched through the multitude of pages in the file: "Amarin Tech Pharma" (she raised her eyebrows) "Abbott Laboratories", "Devlin Medical Technologies"... (she looked up at him, almost jaded) Sir, seriously, (she insisted) it's a medical doctor they need. (she shook the file slightly) I have more and more of them, it's getting ridiculous. I can understand about Stark Consortium and Zephyr, but-
Jack looked at her and added coldly: You have your orders, Colonel. (she opened her mouth but he beat her to it and raised a hand to her) Unless you want to personally explain to the Pentagon why SG-1 hasn't been on an offworld mission in a month.”*
*Reminder of my chapter 15:
“Sam: She's got your address?
Jack grimaced slightly with guilt: We sent postcards. ”*
*Article: the difference between talking to a friend and therapy. (source)*
*Article: Let's not play shrink with our friends(source)*
*"magnet" and the "Milwaukee Chicks" refer to Anang calling Jack "Magnet Chicks", as well as Jack's running gag about magnets and how much he loves baseball (details I've already put several times in my fanfic about their relationship*
*Information sur les Milwaukee Chicks (source)*
*I put Mozambique as a nod to episode 807 Affinity:
“KRISTA Wait a minute, Doctor Jackson? You're the archaeologist who hired Teal'c to come over from Mozambique.”*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
*click here*
He opened the door to his apartment, the phone to his ear and a pack of beer in his hand.
(Phone) Jack struggled to get his keys out of the lock without dropping the beer: How are you feeling?
Sitting on the terrace steps in her pyjamas with a glass of white wine, she quickly diverted the subject after this complicated week.
(Phone) Sam: Do you know that they've asked me to do interviews all next week?
(Phone) Jack placed the pack on the worktop: It's not really my job to take care of your agenda, no.
(Phone) Sam: The Pentagon and the IOA want me in front of the cameras to highlight the fact that they've found the vaccine.
(Phone) Jack ripped open the box and began chilling the bottles one by one: Logic. It's a bit like, "We saved you, remember?"
(Phone) Sam took a sip: I'm not even a doctor.
(Phone) Jack: You know... "Doctor" to people...
(Phone) Sam didn't notice: I have a limited option in genetics.
(Phone) Jack exhaled loudly: People need a little hope and security after all this, Sam.
(Phone) Sam raised her eyes to heaven: I reminded them that we were at war and I couldn't be everywhere.
(Phone) Jack stopped tidying for a few seconds, septic: And they accepted?
(Phone) Sam: Not happy about it.(lower) They'll find someone else, but yeah, I'm good this time.
(Phone) Jack: Nice. (After another silence, he realized that she was still shaken by the situation and glanced towards her bathroom.) Uh. And you can come here with your stone?
(Phone) Sam grimaced: I wanted to work on my book.
(Phone) Jack went to the bathroom: Work here? I mean... Not officially a date... Just... There's a game on TV tonight, I promise I'll behave.
(Phone) Sam a smile at the thought of him wanting to see her: I don't want to disturb you.
(Phone) Jack: Well... give me 2 minutes. (a little awkwardly) I just got home, I really have to pee.
(Phone) Sam felt guilty about reusing the stone for personal use: Hmm. (she resolved to check the time to see if the Valshamr was in orbit.) Okay. (lower) Thanks.
(TEL) Jack: Oh… Phshaw!
Notes:
*I love Jack's order of priority: put the beer in the fridge, then go pee. Not the other way around, haha*
*"777" means "P5X-777"*
(Phone) Jack struggled to get his keys out of the lock without dropping the beer: How are you feeling?
Sitting on the terrace steps in her pyjamas with a glass of white wine, she quickly diverted the subject after this complicated week.
(Phone) Sam: Do you know that they've asked me to do interviews all next week?
(Phone) Jack placed the pack on the worktop: It's not really my job to take care of your agenda, no.
(Phone) Sam: The Pentagon and the IOA want me in front of the cameras to highlight the fact that they've found the vaccine.
(Phone) Jack ripped open the box and began chilling the bottles one by one: Logic. It's a bit like, "We saved you, remember?"
(Phone) Sam took a sip: I'm not even a doctor.
(Phone) Jack: You know... "Doctor" to people...
(Phone) Sam didn't notice: I have a limited option in genetics.
(Phone) Jack exhaled loudly: People need a little hope and security after all this, Sam.
(Phone) Sam raised her eyes to heaven: I reminded them that we were at war and I couldn't be everywhere.
(Phone) Jack stopped tidying for a few seconds, septic: And they accepted?
(Phone) Sam: Not happy about it.(lower) They'll find someone else, but yeah, I'm good this time.
(Phone) Jack: Nice. (After another silence, he realized that she was still shaken by the situation and glanced towards her bathroom.) Uh. And you can come here with your stone?
(Phone) Sam grimaced: I wanted to work on my book.
(Phone) Jack went to the bathroom: Work here? I mean... Not officially a date... Just... There's a game on TV tonight, I promise I'll behave.
(Phone) Sam a smile at the thought of him wanting to see her: I don't want to disturb you.
(Phone) Jack: Well... give me 2 minutes. (a little awkwardly) I just got home, I really have to pee.
(Phone) Sam felt guilty about reusing the stone for personal use: Hmm. (she resolved to check the time to see if the Valshamr was in orbit.) Okay. (lower) Thanks.
(TEL) Jack: Oh… Phshaw!
Notes:
*I love Jack's order of priority: put the beer in the fridge, then go pee. Not the other way around, haha*
*"777" means "P5X-777"*
CW: *mention of gentrification* *female rivalry* *slutshaming* *cultural appropriation* *internalized fatphobia* *pedocriminality* *manspreading*
Finding him in black pants, suit jacket and shirt, she regretted not having taken the time to get dressed for her first visit to his apartment. In her robe, barefoot and already make-up-free, she smiled nervously as she clutched her laptop to her chest.
Sam, clumsily: Hi. (she frowned slightly: "suit jacket, shirt and even perfume"? She could deduce that Washington was rubbing off on him. He questioned her with his eyes, not understanding her thoughts. She composed herself as best she could.) You look great.
Jack: Small party with colleagues. All the top brass.
She nodded with a small smile. There was a slight silence as they stared at each other, unsure of what to do or say. Panic overwhelmed them and he invited her to hide in his office instead of teleporting back.
Female voice through the door: Jack? (Sam ticked, so kept the door ajar to hear the conversation and satisfy her curiosity. He opened the front door) Hi.
Jack: Hi.
The surprise guest, blond-haired, blue-eyed, extremely charming and younger than the official guest, had obviously just come out of her gym class, considering her yoga outfit and the sweat on her skin. She looked Jack's clothes up and down before leaning against the edge of the door.
The neighbor: Thank you for receiving my parcel the other day.
Jack: No problem.
The neighbor flirted: Any plans for tonight? (Sam's eyes widened, but she tried to keep a cool head. She knew he couldn't answer that he was with someone and tried to remember their conversation on the subject: He would never do anything without telling her first) I could use another workout. You can keep me company with Jess'.
Sam rolled her eyes behind the door and spotted a small piece of paper protruding from a jacket hanging on a coat hanger. She couldn't tell whether it was her manifestation of fear or curiosity that persuaded her to grab the note, careful not to drop her laptop.
Jack smiles, trying to hide his embarrassment: Eurrrh. That would be fun but I have other plans tonight.
The neighbor, obviously disappointed: Oh. Okay. (she smiled and left) Maybe next time. Have a nice evening.
Jack referma la porte, maladroitement: Yeah. Hu. You too. Bye. See ya.
Sam quickly put the paper back as if nothing had happened and joined him.
Jack reached into the fridge and pulled out two fresh beers: Where were we?
Sam moistened her lips with nervousness and placed her computer on the work surface: Who was that?
Jack refrained from rolling his eyes and opened a bottle for her: It's not what you think.
Sam grabbed the offered beer: What do I think?
Jack opened his bottle: Actually, I don't know.
He invited her to toast, she hesitated for a few seconds and he questioned her silently with his eyes.
Sam hit her bottle with his own: A neighbor?
Jack took a sip and settled on the sofa: A neighbor. Yoga teacher, I think.
Sam: And she dresses like that even at home?
Jack raised his eyebrows: Winnie the Pooh too.
Sam smiled sarcastically and looked around: Nice apartment.
Jack insisted: Company apartment.
His definition of the apartment on the phone hadn't been a lie. The apartment was modern, in shades of gray. Metal dominated, despite a few touches of wood, but not enough to warm the place up. His bedroom was visible through a huge bay window. Definitely not Jack O'Neill's style. This place was cold, empty, austere, and this man loved conviviality, clutter, rusticity and warmth. And where the hell was the fireplace? A vast blue-gray corner sofa - in the same color as the walls of his room - had a few cushions, but didn't make you want to hang out on it for hours.
She frowned and noted the lack of the usual green plants and personal belongings. Only a few picture frames hinted at who lived here. She found it hard to imagine him living here every day, but then her eyes fell on the big screen hanging on the wall and the idea seemed less implausible. More bearable, let's say, despite the man's distaste for contemporary style. He watched her throughout her inspection, curious as to what she might be thinking, and questioned her with his eyes when she turned her head towards him.
Sam, tachine: You definitely earn more than I do now. (He grinned and she continued) I'm impressed by the cleanliness.
Jack tried not to be offended: There's a maintenance woman. (he added quickly as she approached the kitchen) Don't open the fridge!
Sam moistened her lips to keep from laughing and looked at him: Does she come often?
Jack: Is that a problem?
Sam: Is that a problem? (he dodged a smile at her jealousy and this confused her) Don't do that.
Jack: “Do” what? (she became increasingly nervous about being vulnerable, and he insisted.) Ask me.
She looked up at him and he insisted.
Sam: Jess’?
Jack: A German shepherd. (he raised a finger to emphasize the importance of this information) 4 years old.
Sam's face decomposed at his answer, realizing with embarrassment the man's obvious interest in the dog rather than his mistress.
Sam picked herself up and continued: Strip club? (He raised his eyebrows and she tried nonchalantly) Small party with colleagues
Jack moistened his lips: Trick question. (she challenged him with a smile, but he answered as calmly as ever) Honestly?
Sam: Honestly.
Jack: Between rounds of golf.
Sam, caustic: I can see that the adaptation is going well.
Jack: It could be worse. (she gave him a "be careful" look but made no further comment.) Is that a problem?
Sam bent her head: I'll deal with it. (He stared at her to see if she was lying, and she looked him up and down for a few seconds, again suspicious.) More?
Jack frowned slightly that she still doubted him: No. (she nodded and he raised his eyebrows.) You?
She gave him an obvious look as her only reply, but promised herself she'd work on her jealousy. He took a sip of his beer before silence settled in.
Sam grimaced, full of guilt: I'm sorry.
Jack looked up at her, confused: For what?
Sam, shameful: I think too much? (she was apprehensive but chose honesty) I looked at the paper sticking out of one of your jacket pockets.
Jack, lost: Which paper?
Sam: Your dry-cleaning receipt.
Flattered that she was jealous and reassured that she was trying to be honest - which was a change from the usual - he knew nevertheless that this kind of behavior was not something healthy within any relationship. She smiled nervously again and took a few steps to stop the subject.
Sam: This... is a nice apartment. Very chic. (not seeing him react, she continued) Put more of your stuff there, and you might feel more at home? (she questioned him with her eyes, but he remained silent, so she continued her inspection of the premises.) Your old furniture, perhaps?
Jack took another sip: Hum. So we're really going to talk about furniture and decoration? (She sat down at the other end of the sofa, straight as a post. He added more quietly, not seeing her react) Orlin?
Sam: Hum. (she took a sip of her beer and remained silent. His gaze was insistent and she grimaced.) I feel responsible.
Jack raised his eyebrows: The guy who spied on you at home? The same guy who...(he gestured a hand towards her, refusing to say the word) Forced to...
Sam, low: I know he did. But he came back to save us all. (he tilted his head, wondering if that justified it, and she bit her lip) I think he sacrificed himself to apologize for his behavior. (she played with her beer label) At the time, I felt his actions were disturbing, but I... I don't know...(she added further down) The therapy with Bell made me think about what had happened.
Jack: And you think he would have heard?
Sam shrugged one shoulder and looked at him: Why else would he come back and break Ascended laws?
Jack moved his head slightly: To save our species.
Sam grimaced and hugged a pillow to her chest: That's what he said, but I think it helped his decision to sacrifice himself. (she insists) He knew the implications when he returned.
Jack, after several seconds of silence: Is he feeling better?
Sam, before looking away: Yeah. (there was another silence and she began to feel guilty) Dr. Dang signed obituaries. (he questioned her with his eyes, surprised by her tone and the change of subject) It was Dr. Williams' idea. They took advantage of the chaos caused by the pandemic to officially remove some of the project's volunteers from Earth. (he raised his eyebrows and shook his head at the news. He placed his bottle on the coffee table and she insisted) Backdated and signed some fifty death notices and incineration orders, under the pretext of not spreading the disease.
Jack stood up and took several steps into his living room, excited: Would it be possible for ya to let me know in advance the next time you take this kind of initiative?
Sam swallowed and sat up slightly: Yes sir.
He tried to detect sarcasm or irony in her answer, but it seemed sincere, even if she had responded out of automatism. He frowned, and she guessed his thoughts: hierarchy had just returned to a conversation that was supposed to be a couple's moment. She tried to lower her shoulders to resume a less framed posture, and after noticing this, he invited her to put her feet up on his lap.
Sam, amused: Oh come on, don't play Prince Charming.
Jack: I was hoping the smell of your feet would cover the moldy dishes in the fridge.
Sam closed her eyes: I should have kept my mouth shut. (Il dodged a smile, she settled her feet on his lap and he began to massage them. She dreaded continuing the subject, but she couldn't hide it from him) Orlin is listed in the fifty death and cremation certificates.. (Jack's hands froze on her feet and she added fearfully) We were very careful not to allow them to retrieve his body for study at Area 51.
Jack frowned: Where is he?
Sam admitted: On the moon of 777. (he closed his eyes for several seconds and she murmured) Sorry.
Jack firmly: This is the Air Force.
In addition to the unpleasant sensation of finding herself face to face with her father and having to justify a "mistake", here he was teaching her to examine the risks: the last straw for her.
Sam tried to remain diplomatic: I know.
Jack insisted: They'll wonder why the order was issued when he wasn't suffering from Ori fever.
Sam got up to take a few steps: Officially, he had suffered a ruptured aneurysm. His brain had been overtaxed in recent days. Doctor Dang told me they wouldn't ask any questions, and in the general confusion of the pandemic... (he tilted his head, unconvinced, and she nervously moved her hand in front of him) Look, I couldn't leave him in that retirement home.
Jack, stunned: “Retirement home”?
She confirmed with a nod and leaned against a wall. He noted in the back of his mind to look for another possible protocol for next time, but wondered if "next time" would be something that could happen.
Sam hid her emotion: I'm convinced that cutting him off from others in this way won't help him. He's just a "child" now, he could have a normal life in a suitable structure.
He took some time to reflect on the situation and Merrin came back to his mind. She and the other children were now in a space much more suited to them, and this realization relaxed him.
Sam, to herself, below: And I guess I'm just acting out of turn because this whole thing has upset me. (she looked away nervously) There were unhealthy rumors for days about me and this "child".
She shook her head again and closed her eyes, tired of having to deal with it all.
Jack stared at her before answering: I'm hungry.
Sam shrugged a shoulder: What do you want?
Jack: You? (She gave him an unamused look) Sorry. (he got up to grab the home delivery flyers) Let's have a look.
Notes:
*”I can see that the adaptation is going well.” refers to my chapter 16 “Jack hesitated, nervous: I can't stand myself and I'm going to be like them. (she frowned and questioned him with her eyes) I'll have to adapt, shake hands with the devil. (he insisted) Every day.”*
*”I think too much?” refers to my chapter 3 when she tells him “I'm sorry. I think too much."*
*In his former home, you can see many green plants and a huge garden. The fact that he loves his cottage in deepest Minnesota, too, suggests that he loves nature.*
*On the transcript of episode SG1 09x11 “The Fourth Horseman”, il est écrit qu’Orlin a la fin se retrouve en “LONG TERM CARE FACILITY COMMON ROOM”, which is an annexe for people over 60. Another theory is that Orlin ends up in a psychiatric hospital, but the problem remains the same: he could very well be adopted*
*You can see the change in location of the Jack O'Neill house in Colorado Springs after the renovation. (cliquez ici)
Here I draw a parallel with gentrification, which refers to "the transformation of working-class neighborhoods due to the arrival of more affluent social classes who rehabilitate certain housing units and import different lifestyles and consumer habits".» (source)*
*Article: "Millennial Grey": Generation Z mocks Generation Y's lack of taste(source)*
*Article: What is "millennium grey" and why has TikTok been turned upside down? (source)*
*Vidéos: the dangers of minimalist design (source) (source)*
*Video: Minimalism is destroying the world (source)*
*Article: Why is our world losing its colors? (source)*
*Etude: Chromophobia by David Batchelor (source)*
*Video: Why the French don't like color anymore (source)*
*Video: the role of architecture (source)*
*In an interview, Richard Dean Anderson announces, "I don't wear aftershave. I don't wear perfume." (source). I've included this detail for another reason, which we'll see later*
*Vidéo: Why has color disappeared from our daily lives? (source)*
*Article: fear of color(source)*
*Video: the dangers of the minimalist (source)*
*Video: registered colors (source)*
*Article: Who has the monopoly on yoga in France? (source)*
*Article & vidéo: Yoga has become so commodified that we forget its origins. (source) (source)*
*Article: I'm afraid of yoga festivals (source)*
*Video: the cliché in yoga (source)*
*Video: Yoga clothing industry theft is nothing new (source)*
*Video: India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi is accused of using yoga as a tool to distract from his government's Islamophobic policies. (source)*
*Video: I am a yoga teacher (source)*
*Article: Cultural appropriation", the debate on the Western yoga industry intensifies(source) (source)*
*Article: Why it's pointless to deny the existence of female rivalry (source)*
*Reading tip and author's insta account on the subject of female rivalry (source) (source) (source)*
*Article: Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber, a fake rivalry fuelled by the public(source)*
*A man VS a woman, getting ready for a night out(source)*
*Video: Women's superficial bubble (source)*
*Comic strip: the price to pay, what the hetero couple costs women " (source)*
*Article: Our reaction to smells is powerful and instinctive, and different smells have a strong emotional impact on us. (source)*
Bonus:
*click here*
Finding him in black pants, suit jacket and shirt, she regretted not having taken the time to get dressed for her first visit to his apartment. In her robe, barefoot and already make-up-free, she smiled nervously as she clutched her laptop to her chest.
Sam, clumsily: Hi. (she frowned slightly: "suit jacket, shirt and even perfume"? She could deduce that Washington was rubbing off on him. He questioned her with his eyes, not understanding her thoughts. She composed herself as best she could.) You look great.
Jack: Small party with colleagues. All the top brass.
She nodded with a small smile. There was a slight silence as they stared at each other, unsure of what to do or say. Panic overwhelmed them and he invited her to hide in his office instead of teleporting back.
Female voice through the door: Jack? (Sam ticked, so kept the door ajar to hear the conversation and satisfy her curiosity. He opened the front door) Hi.
Jack: Hi.
The surprise guest, blond-haired, blue-eyed, extremely charming and younger than the official guest, had obviously just come out of her gym class, considering her yoga outfit and the sweat on her skin. She looked Jack's clothes up and down before leaning against the edge of the door.
The neighbor: Thank you for receiving my parcel the other day.
Jack: No problem.
The neighbor flirted: Any plans for tonight? (Sam's eyes widened, but she tried to keep a cool head. She knew he couldn't answer that he was with someone and tried to remember their conversation on the subject: He would never do anything without telling her first) I could use another workout. You can keep me company with Jess'.
Sam rolled her eyes behind the door and spotted a small piece of paper protruding from a jacket hanging on a coat hanger. She couldn't tell whether it was her manifestation of fear or curiosity that persuaded her to grab the note, careful not to drop her laptop.
Jack smiles, trying to hide his embarrassment: Eurrrh. That would be fun but I have other plans tonight.
The neighbor, obviously disappointed: Oh. Okay. (she smiled and left) Maybe next time. Have a nice evening.
Jack referma la porte, maladroitement: Yeah. Hu. You too. Bye. See ya.
Sam quickly put the paper back as if nothing had happened and joined him.
Jack reached into the fridge and pulled out two fresh beers: Where were we?
Sam moistened her lips with nervousness and placed her computer on the work surface: Who was that?
Jack refrained from rolling his eyes and opened a bottle for her: It's not what you think.
Sam grabbed the offered beer: What do I think?
Jack opened his bottle: Actually, I don't know.
He invited her to toast, she hesitated for a few seconds and he questioned her silently with his eyes.
Sam hit her bottle with his own: A neighbor?
Jack took a sip and settled on the sofa: A neighbor. Yoga teacher, I think.
Sam: And she dresses like that even at home?
Jack raised his eyebrows: Winnie the Pooh too.
Sam smiled sarcastically and looked around: Nice apartment.
Jack insisted: Company apartment.
His definition of the apartment on the phone hadn't been a lie. The apartment was modern, in shades of gray. Metal dominated, despite a few touches of wood, but not enough to warm the place up. His bedroom was visible through a huge bay window. Definitely not Jack O'Neill's style. This place was cold, empty, austere, and this man loved conviviality, clutter, rusticity and warmth. And where the hell was the fireplace? A vast blue-gray corner sofa - in the same color as the walls of his room - had a few cushions, but didn't make you want to hang out on it for hours.
She frowned and noted the lack of the usual green plants and personal belongings. Only a few picture frames hinted at who lived here. She found it hard to imagine him living here every day, but then her eyes fell on the big screen hanging on the wall and the idea seemed less implausible. More bearable, let's say, despite the man's distaste for contemporary style. He watched her throughout her inspection, curious as to what she might be thinking, and questioned her with his eyes when she turned her head towards him.
Sam, tachine: You definitely earn more than I do now. (He grinned and she continued) I'm impressed by the cleanliness.
Jack tried not to be offended: There's a maintenance woman. (he added quickly as she approached the kitchen) Don't open the fridge!
Sam moistened her lips to keep from laughing and looked at him: Does she come often?
Jack: Is that a problem?
Sam: Is that a problem? (he dodged a smile at her jealousy and this confused her) Don't do that.
Jack: “Do” what? (she became increasingly nervous about being vulnerable, and he insisted.) Ask me.
She looked up at him and he insisted.
Sam: Jess’?
Jack: A German shepherd. (he raised a finger to emphasize the importance of this information) 4 years old.
Sam's face decomposed at his answer, realizing with embarrassment the man's obvious interest in the dog rather than his mistress.
Sam picked herself up and continued: Strip club? (He raised his eyebrows and she tried nonchalantly) Small party with colleagues
Jack moistened his lips: Trick question. (she challenged him with a smile, but he answered as calmly as ever) Honestly?
Sam: Honestly.
Jack: Between rounds of golf.
Sam, caustic: I can see that the adaptation is going well.
Jack: It could be worse. (she gave him a "be careful" look but made no further comment.) Is that a problem?
Sam bent her head: I'll deal with it. (He stared at her to see if she was lying, and she looked him up and down for a few seconds, again suspicious.) More?
Jack frowned slightly that she still doubted him: No. (she nodded and he raised his eyebrows.) You?
She gave him an obvious look as her only reply, but promised herself she'd work on her jealousy. He took a sip of his beer before silence settled in.
Sam grimaced, full of guilt: I'm sorry.
Jack looked up at her, confused: For what?
Sam, shameful: I think too much? (she was apprehensive but chose honesty) I looked at the paper sticking out of one of your jacket pockets.
Jack, lost: Which paper?
Sam: Your dry-cleaning receipt.
Flattered that she was jealous and reassured that she was trying to be honest - which was a change from the usual - he knew nevertheless that this kind of behavior was not something healthy within any relationship. She smiled nervously again and took a few steps to stop the subject.
Sam: This... is a nice apartment. Very chic. (not seeing him react, she continued) Put more of your stuff there, and you might feel more at home? (she questioned him with her eyes, but he remained silent, so she continued her inspection of the premises.) Your old furniture, perhaps?
Jack took another sip: Hum. So we're really going to talk about furniture and decoration? (She sat down at the other end of the sofa, straight as a post. He added more quietly, not seeing her react) Orlin?
Sam: Hum. (she took a sip of her beer and remained silent. His gaze was insistent and she grimaced.) I feel responsible.
Jack raised his eyebrows: The guy who spied on you at home? The same guy who...(he gestured a hand towards her, refusing to say the word) Forced to...
Sam, low: I know he did. But he came back to save us all. (he tilted his head, wondering if that justified it, and she bit her lip) I think he sacrificed himself to apologize for his behavior. (she played with her beer label) At the time, I felt his actions were disturbing, but I... I don't know...(she added further down) The therapy with Bell made me think about what had happened.
Jack: And you think he would have heard?
Sam shrugged one shoulder and looked at him: Why else would he come back and break Ascended laws?
Jack moved his head slightly: To save our species.
Sam grimaced and hugged a pillow to her chest: That's what he said, but I think it helped his decision to sacrifice himself. (she insists) He knew the implications when he returned.
Jack, after several seconds of silence: Is he feeling better?
Sam, before looking away: Yeah. (there was another silence and she began to feel guilty) Dr. Dang signed obituaries. (he questioned her with his eyes, surprised by her tone and the change of subject) It was Dr. Williams' idea. They took advantage of the chaos caused by the pandemic to officially remove some of the project's volunteers from Earth. (he raised his eyebrows and shook his head at the news. He placed his bottle on the coffee table and she insisted) Backdated and signed some fifty death notices and incineration orders, under the pretext of not spreading the disease.
Jack stood up and took several steps into his living room, excited: Would it be possible for ya to let me know in advance the next time you take this kind of initiative?
Sam swallowed and sat up slightly: Yes sir.
He tried to detect sarcasm or irony in her answer, but it seemed sincere, even if she had responded out of automatism. He frowned, and she guessed his thoughts: hierarchy had just returned to a conversation that was supposed to be a couple's moment. She tried to lower her shoulders to resume a less framed posture, and after noticing this, he invited her to put her feet up on his lap.
Sam, amused: Oh come on, don't play Prince Charming.
Jack: I was hoping the smell of your feet would cover the moldy dishes in the fridge.
Sam closed her eyes: I should have kept my mouth shut. (Il dodged a smile, she settled her feet on his lap and he began to massage them. She dreaded continuing the subject, but she couldn't hide it from him) Orlin is listed in the fifty death and cremation certificates.. (Jack's hands froze on her feet and she added fearfully) We were very careful not to allow them to retrieve his body for study at Area 51.
Jack frowned: Where is he?
Sam admitted: On the moon of 777. (he closed his eyes for several seconds and she murmured) Sorry.
Jack firmly: This is the Air Force.
In addition to the unpleasant sensation of finding herself face to face with her father and having to justify a "mistake", here he was teaching her to examine the risks: the last straw for her.
Sam tried to remain diplomatic: I know.
Jack insisted: They'll wonder why the order was issued when he wasn't suffering from Ori fever.
Sam got up to take a few steps: Officially, he had suffered a ruptured aneurysm. His brain had been overtaxed in recent days. Doctor Dang told me they wouldn't ask any questions, and in the general confusion of the pandemic... (he tilted his head, unconvinced, and she nervously moved her hand in front of him) Look, I couldn't leave him in that retirement home.
Jack, stunned: “Retirement home”?
She confirmed with a nod and leaned against a wall. He noted in the back of his mind to look for another possible protocol for next time, but wondered if "next time" would be something that could happen.
Sam hid her emotion: I'm convinced that cutting him off from others in this way won't help him. He's just a "child" now, he could have a normal life in a suitable structure.
He took some time to reflect on the situation and Merrin came back to his mind. She and the other children were now in a space much more suited to them, and this realization relaxed him.
Sam, to herself, below: And I guess I'm just acting out of turn because this whole thing has upset me. (she looked away nervously) There were unhealthy rumors for days about me and this "child".
She shook her head again and closed her eyes, tired of having to deal with it all.
Jack stared at her before answering: I'm hungry.
Sam shrugged a shoulder: What do you want?
Jack: You? (She gave him an unamused look) Sorry. (he got up to grab the home delivery flyers) Let's have a look.
Notes:
*”I can see that the adaptation is going well.” refers to my chapter 16 “Jack hesitated, nervous: I can't stand myself and I'm going to be like them. (she frowned and questioned him with her eyes) I'll have to adapt, shake hands with the devil. (he insisted) Every day.”*
*”I think too much?” refers to my chapter 3 when she tells him “I'm sorry. I think too much."*
*In his former home, you can see many green plants and a huge garden. The fact that he loves his cottage in deepest Minnesota, too, suggests that he loves nature.*
*On the transcript of episode SG1 09x11 “The Fourth Horseman”, il est écrit qu’Orlin a la fin se retrouve en “LONG TERM CARE FACILITY COMMON ROOM”, which is an annexe for people over 60. Another theory is that Orlin ends up in a psychiatric hospital, but the problem remains the same: he could very well be adopted*
*You can see the change in location of the Jack O'Neill house in Colorado Springs after the renovation. (cliquez ici)
Here I draw a parallel with gentrification, which refers to "the transformation of working-class neighborhoods due to the arrival of more affluent social classes who rehabilitate certain housing units and import different lifestyles and consumer habits".» (source)*
*Article: "Millennial Grey": Generation Z mocks Generation Y's lack of taste(source)*
*Article: What is "millennium grey" and why has TikTok been turned upside down? (source)*
*Vidéos: the dangers of minimalist design (source) (source)*
*Video: Minimalism is destroying the world (source)*
*Article: Why is our world losing its colors? (source)*
*Etude: Chromophobia by David Batchelor (source)*
*Video: Why the French don't like color anymore (source)*
*Video: the role of architecture (source)*
*In an interview, Richard Dean Anderson announces, "I don't wear aftershave. I don't wear perfume." (source). I've included this detail for another reason, which we'll see later*
*Vidéo: Why has color disappeared from our daily lives? (source)*
*Article: fear of color(source)*
*Video: the dangers of the minimalist (source)*
*Video: registered colors (source)*
*Article: Who has the monopoly on yoga in France? (source)*
*Article & vidéo: Yoga has become so commodified that we forget its origins. (source) (source)*
*Article: I'm afraid of yoga festivals (source)*
*Video: the cliché in yoga (source)*
*Video: Yoga clothing industry theft is nothing new (source)*
*Video: India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi is accused of using yoga as a tool to distract from his government's Islamophobic policies. (source)*
*Video: I am a yoga teacher (source)*
*Article: Cultural appropriation", the debate on the Western yoga industry intensifies(source) (source)*
*Article: Why it's pointless to deny the existence of female rivalry (source)*
*Reading tip and author's insta account on the subject of female rivalry (source) (source) (source)*
*Article: Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber, a fake rivalry fuelled by the public(source)*
*A man VS a woman, getting ready for a night out(source)*
*Video: Women's superficial bubble (source)*
*Comic strip: the price to pay, what the hetero couple costs women " (source)*
*Article: Our reaction to smells is powerful and instinctive, and different smells have a strong emotional impact on us. (source)*
Bonus:
*click here*
The tense atmosphere was beginning to subside, despite the notable discomfort of the sofa, according to Sam's personal taste. She squirmed for the umpteenth time to relieve the strain on her lumbar spine, while writing frantically on the keyboard of her laptop.
His eyes riveted on the match, the cardboard box from the Chinese delicatessen in his hands, the man cheered as his team scored. He sank back into the sofa and glanced up at her, having caught a fleeting smile on her face.
Jack swallowed a mouthful of his dish and glanced at her: How many years have you been working on this book?
Sam, always focused: Five years. (he raised his eyebrows and she felt obliged to justify herself) Uh. I don't have much time to work on it, and we're gathering new data every month via search sites.
Jack, amused: And the fact that it will never be published is not a problem?
She replied with a simple grin, her eyes still riveted to the screen. His right knee-pad under his pants bothering him, he bent to remove it before tossing the protection nonchalantly to his side. He blew out a breath of liberating happiness, took a sip of his beer and proceeded to put both legs up on the coffee table before remembering that she'd had them removed at the hotel. It was embarrassing enough to have arthritis, he wasn't going to add bad manners to it, so he thought better of it.
Sam tried to reposition herself on the rock-hard sofa: Feel at home.
Jack put his feet up on the table, with a touch of sarcasm: Oh, thank you.
He rested his attention on the match for several minutes, and despite his concentration on the TV set, he noticed that she seemed amused every time he reacted to a player's action.
Jack took a sip of his beer: What?
Sam looked up at him: What "what"?
Jack keep on mangering: You smile.
Sam shook her head and tried not to turn peony red: Nothing. (she bent her head and rested her eyes on the computer) I like these moments.
He swallowed a mouthful, reassured too that they were able to live moments without tension, even if it was each at the other end of the sofa, and especially that she didn't seem to relax from the silence they could sometimes have between them.
Jack: I could have been more romantic.
Sam ticked: I think I know why I have a problem with romance.
Jack: Oh?
Sam: The one we're sold is unconditional. Ours is not.
Jack didn't really know what reaction to have to this statement and repeated to himself: Oh?
Sam: I mean... We respect our limits, our space and our needs. (she thought back to the fact that she'd reached into her jacket pocket and corrected herself) At least we try.
Jack, skeptical: And isn't that romantic?
Sam: Conditions always are. (they smiled at each other before she concluded) My point is that there's no manipulation.
He rested his gaze on the TV, trying to hide the fact that he was touched by what she had just told him, he who had been afraid of controlling or influencing her all these years. She frowned slightly at the flash of Hanson in her mind and quickly dismissed it, refocusing on her work. With his own meal finished and the match over, he stood up and noticed that she hadn't eaten much as she put away the caterer's boxes.
Jack: Not hungry?
Sam, uncomfortable: Not really.
Jack: Are you staying the night?
Sam before closing her computer: If you don't mind?
Jack: It could be worse.
Notes:
*In my previous chapters, I worked on the fact that Carter's character becomes anxious when there is silence in conversations (not just with Jack). It's a behavior she has in the saga, which doesn't totally disappear (she still has it in season 4 of Atlantis, for example when she finds herself locked in the transporter with Zelenka), but seems much less nervous. Her anxiety of the early seasons is transformed into "I like to have small talks with other people "*
*”Feel at home.” echoes my Chapter 7, Jack joins her on the pontoon at his cabin:
“Jack: Can I join you?
Sam: Feel at home. ”*
*Article: Platonic intimacy heals (source)*
*Article: intimacy and relationship-building are activism (source)*
*Article: Intimacy as a couple is more than just sex (source)*
*In Lost City, Teal'c has his feet up on Jack's coffee table and Jack doesn't seem to mind*
His eyes riveted on the match, the cardboard box from the Chinese delicatessen in his hands, the man cheered as his team scored. He sank back into the sofa and glanced up at her, having caught a fleeting smile on her face.
Jack swallowed a mouthful of his dish and glanced at her: How many years have you been working on this book?
Sam, always focused: Five years. (he raised his eyebrows and she felt obliged to justify herself) Uh. I don't have much time to work on it, and we're gathering new data every month via search sites.
Jack, amused: And the fact that it will never be published is not a problem?
She replied with a simple grin, her eyes still riveted to the screen. His right knee-pad under his pants bothering him, he bent to remove it before tossing the protection nonchalantly to his side. He blew out a breath of liberating happiness, took a sip of his beer and proceeded to put both legs up on the coffee table before remembering that she'd had them removed at the hotel. It was embarrassing enough to have arthritis, he wasn't going to add bad manners to it, so he thought better of it.
Sam tried to reposition herself on the rock-hard sofa: Feel at home.
Jack put his feet up on the table, with a touch of sarcasm: Oh, thank you.
He rested his attention on the match for several minutes, and despite his concentration on the TV set, he noticed that she seemed amused every time he reacted to a player's action.
Jack took a sip of his beer: What?
Sam looked up at him: What "what"?
Jack keep on mangering: You smile.
Sam shook her head and tried not to turn peony red: Nothing. (she bent her head and rested her eyes on the computer) I like these moments.
He swallowed a mouthful, reassured too that they were able to live moments without tension, even if it was each at the other end of the sofa, and especially that she didn't seem to relax from the silence they could sometimes have between them.
Jack: I could have been more romantic.
Sam ticked: I think I know why I have a problem with romance.
Jack: Oh?
Sam: The one we're sold is unconditional. Ours is not.
Jack didn't really know what reaction to have to this statement and repeated to himself: Oh?
Sam: I mean... We respect our limits, our space and our needs. (she thought back to the fact that she'd reached into her jacket pocket and corrected herself) At least we try.
Jack, skeptical: And isn't that romantic?
Sam: Conditions always are. (they smiled at each other before she concluded) My point is that there's no manipulation.
He rested his gaze on the TV, trying to hide the fact that he was touched by what she had just told him, he who had been afraid of controlling or influencing her all these years. She frowned slightly at the flash of Hanson in her mind and quickly dismissed it, refocusing on her work. With his own meal finished and the match over, he stood up and noticed that she hadn't eaten much as she put away the caterer's boxes.
Jack: Not hungry?
Sam, uncomfortable: Not really.
Jack: Are you staying the night?
Sam before closing her computer: If you don't mind?
Jack: It could be worse.
Notes:
*In my previous chapters, I worked on the fact that Carter's character becomes anxious when there is silence in conversations (not just with Jack). It's a behavior she has in the saga, which doesn't totally disappear (she still has it in season 4 of Atlantis, for example when she finds herself locked in the transporter with Zelenka), but seems much less nervous. Her anxiety of the early seasons is transformed into "I like to have small talks with other people "*
*”Feel at home.” echoes my Chapter 7, Jack joins her on the pontoon at his cabin:
“Jack: Can I join you?
Sam: Feel at home. ”*
*Article: Platonic intimacy heals (source)*
*Article: intimacy and relationship-building are activism (source)*
*Article: Intimacy as a couple is more than just sex (source)*
*In Lost City, Teal'c has his feet up on Jack's coffee table and Jack doesn't seem to mind*
TW: *natural termination of pregnancy*
He had taken out a new toothbrush and was rubbing his own in front of the mirror. She had positioned herself opposite him, pretending to look at him to enjoy his presence, but also to escape her own reflection as discreetly as possible without him noticing, so as to avoid any questions. Nonetheless, he grinned, glancing at her as they washed.
Sam, mouthful of toothpaste: What?
Jack: Nothing. (she tilted her head in an obvious manner. He spat and smiled a little more) I like these moments.
Sam spat back: Copier.
Jack put his toothbrush back in the glass: I've found what you like. (she questioned him with her eyes. He took off his T-shirt. She gave him a blasé look and spat again into the sink) It's not romance you like. It's the intimacy.
She smiled at the idea, rinsed the toothbrush and put it away in the glass next to hers. She removed her robe and he felt her nervous.
Jack: What?
Sam grimaced and hid her stomach and chest: I got fat.
Jack: Are you kidding me? You've got more abs than I do. (she swallowed and remained silent. He raised his eyebrows, puzzled) And I got old...? (She didn't seem to appreciate his humor, and he frowned, doubtful) Do you eat properly? (she looked away, uncomfortable at being watched again on this issue. He worried even more about her behavior, remembering how many times he'd had to fetch her or her colleagues from her lab to remind her to go and eat) Hey?
Sam looked for an escape route, in vain: Hm.
They'd had this conversation early in their relationship, he reminded himself, so it was an important topic for her.
Jack: You've had two pregnancy terminations. What did you expect?
Sam grimaced: It's not just that. I feel like all eyes have been on me ever since I came back.
Jack, surprised: Oh?
Sam: It's-it's like... I don't know, they all expect something from me, or...
Jack: Want to compare yourself with others?
She nodded and looked away, remembering that she'd compared herself to Kerry. Shit, she thought, so had she. She supposed it was the neighbor who had brought up her insecurities.
Jack: And I'm guessing the rumors in the corridors didn't help. (she nodded again, but thanked him with a faint smile for understanding her. He looked her up and down) Hum. Have no doubt that your body is my favorite playground.
Sam raised her eyebrows and tilted her head: Prove it.
Surprised by her defiance, he slammed her against the wall, put his hands around her face and kissed her passionately. She let go of her robe, which fell to the floor, exhaled in happiness and placed her hands on his waist. He played with her and moved his hips against hers, before breaking the kiss and lowering his kisses to her neck.
Sam began to laugh: Oh my God!
She laughed again as he moved up to her ear and she let out another laugh.
Jack whispered in her ear: Magnet.
Sam chuckled: I don't want to know where you learned this, but do it whenever you want.
Jack stepped aside and dodged a smile: Roger that.
Sam looked him up and down and headed for the bedroom: Are you coming to play?
Jack surprised that this detail didn't bother her: And your robe on the floor?
Sam, from the other room: Take it to the cleaners.
He bent down to pick it up, which awakened a pain in his lower back.
Jack muttered to himself: I should take up yoga.
Sam: I heard that. Get your ass in here!
Jack blew out his nose and joined her: Playtime!
Notes:
*running gag about her judging the cleanliness of his apartment with the waitress he knows she can't leave on the floor since she's replaced the couch at her place properly*
*Study: "Unrealistic" postpartum body photos posted on instagram add stress and lower self-confidence for new mothers (source)*
*Article: Examples of actresses Hollywood has taken on to play characters who are fat but who aren't (source)*
*Examples of problematic photomontages found on the internet about RDA's weight and/or age (source) (source) (source)*
*In the saga's timeline, particularly in 9x10 and 9x11 The Fourth Horseman, Carter is seen eating fruit salad and blue jell-o with Orlin. Carter eats very "healthily" and this is something I wanted to emphasize in my fanfic in several places, as you've already seen. The others eat anything and everything, she refuses doughnuts, makes a remark about cholesterol when she sees Jonas enjoying Earth food. It's very representative of the lack of representation in films and series.If women eat fast food, they'll be told that they're letting themselves go, that they can't control themselves, whereas men can take advantage. We know that the majority of people with eating disorders are women, mainly due to societal injunctions and PTSD (especially sexual). Knowing that Carter is "in control"... (7x13 Grace, she makes her father say she's in control“You're in control.” for example), cIt was also consistent with my story* *Video: Why you'll never feel the most beautiful (source)*
*Quote by Camille Froidevaux-Metterie: "Women can't pretend they don't have bodies, whereas men do just fine." (source)*
*Article: Sex isn't the glue that binds a couple together, as society would have us believe. It's intimacy. Sex is one of its languages, more or less important depending on the person.(source)*
*The fact that Sam nervously clutches her laptop to her chest and hides behind a cushion goes with the fact that she feels bad about herself. This is non-verbal communication.*
*Video: The "false compliments" that arise from fatphobia,when someone responds to a person who claims to be fat, "but you're beautiful!". (source)*
*Article: Gender stereotypes in children's content (source)*
*Article: Cellulite, a misogynistic invention (source)*
*Article: women's internalized fatphobia (source)*
*Article: The rise of the obesity epidemic goes hand in hand with the proliferation and popularity of dieting. "It's now well established that the more people engage in dieting, the more weight they gain in the long term. The more the world shames people about their bodies, the messier our relationship with our bodies becomes.(source) (source)*
He had taken out a new toothbrush and was rubbing his own in front of the mirror. She had positioned herself opposite him, pretending to look at him to enjoy his presence, but also to escape her own reflection as discreetly as possible without him noticing, so as to avoid any questions. Nonetheless, he grinned, glancing at her as they washed.
Sam, mouthful of toothpaste: What?
Jack: Nothing. (she tilted her head in an obvious manner. He spat and smiled a little more) I like these moments.
Sam spat back: Copier.
Jack put his toothbrush back in the glass: I've found what you like. (she questioned him with her eyes. He took off his T-shirt. She gave him a blasé look and spat again into the sink) It's not romance you like. It's the intimacy.
She smiled at the idea, rinsed the toothbrush and put it away in the glass next to hers. She removed her robe and he felt her nervous.
Jack: What?
Sam grimaced and hid her stomach and chest: I got fat.
Jack: Are you kidding me? You've got more abs than I do. (she swallowed and remained silent. He raised his eyebrows, puzzled) And I got old...? (She didn't seem to appreciate his humor, and he frowned, doubtful) Do you eat properly? (she looked away, uncomfortable at being watched again on this issue. He worried even more about her behavior, remembering how many times he'd had to fetch her or her colleagues from her lab to remind her to go and eat) Hey?
Sam looked for an escape route, in vain: Hm.
They'd had this conversation early in their relationship, he reminded himself, so it was an important topic for her.
Jack: You've had two pregnancy terminations. What did you expect?
Sam grimaced: It's not just that. I feel like all eyes have been on me ever since I came back.
Jack, surprised: Oh?
Sam: It's-it's like... I don't know, they all expect something from me, or...
Jack: Want to compare yourself with others?
She nodded and looked away, remembering that she'd compared herself to Kerry. Shit, she thought, so had she. She supposed it was the neighbor who had brought up her insecurities.
Jack: And I'm guessing the rumors in the corridors didn't help. (she nodded again, but thanked him with a faint smile for understanding her. He looked her up and down) Hum. Have no doubt that your body is my favorite playground.
Sam raised her eyebrows and tilted her head: Prove it.
Surprised by her defiance, he slammed her against the wall, put his hands around her face and kissed her passionately. She let go of her robe, which fell to the floor, exhaled in happiness and placed her hands on his waist. He played with her and moved his hips against hers, before breaking the kiss and lowering his kisses to her neck.
Sam began to laugh: Oh my God!
She laughed again as he moved up to her ear and she let out another laugh.
Jack whispered in her ear: Magnet.
Sam chuckled: I don't want to know where you learned this, but do it whenever you want.
Jack stepped aside and dodged a smile: Roger that.
Sam looked him up and down and headed for the bedroom: Are you coming to play?
Jack surprised that this detail didn't bother her: And your robe on the floor?
Sam, from the other room: Take it to the cleaners.
He bent down to pick it up, which awakened a pain in his lower back.
Jack muttered to himself: I should take up yoga.
Sam: I heard that. Get your ass in here!
Jack blew out his nose and joined her: Playtime!
Notes:
*running gag about her judging the cleanliness of his apartment with the waitress he knows she can't leave on the floor since she's replaced the couch at her place properly*
*Study: "Unrealistic" postpartum body photos posted on instagram add stress and lower self-confidence for new mothers (source)*
*Article: Examples of actresses Hollywood has taken on to play characters who are fat but who aren't (source)*
*Examples of problematic photomontages found on the internet about RDA's weight and/or age (source) (source) (source)*
*In the saga's timeline, particularly in 9x10 and 9x11 The Fourth Horseman, Carter is seen eating fruit salad and blue jell-o with Orlin. Carter eats very "healthily" and this is something I wanted to emphasize in my fanfic in several places, as you've already seen. The others eat anything and everything, she refuses doughnuts, makes a remark about cholesterol when she sees Jonas enjoying Earth food. It's very representative of the lack of representation in films and series.If women eat fast food, they'll be told that they're letting themselves go, that they can't control themselves, whereas men can take advantage. We know that the majority of people with eating disorders are women, mainly due to societal injunctions and PTSD (especially sexual). Knowing that Carter is "in control"... (7x13 Grace, she makes her father say she's in control“You're in control.” for example), cIt was also consistent with my story* *Video: Why you'll never feel the most beautiful (source)*
*Quote by Camille Froidevaux-Metterie: "Women can't pretend they don't have bodies, whereas men do just fine." (source)*
*Article: Sex isn't the glue that binds a couple together, as society would have us believe. It's intimacy. Sex is one of its languages, more or less important depending on the person.(source)*
*The fact that Sam nervously clutches her laptop to her chest and hides behind a cushion goes with the fact that she feels bad about herself. This is non-verbal communication.*
*Video: The "false compliments" that arise from fatphobia,when someone responds to a person who claims to be fat, "but you're beautiful!". (source)*
*Article: Gender stereotypes in children's content (source)*
*Article: Cellulite, a misogynistic invention (source)*
*Article: women's internalized fatphobia (source)*
*Article: The rise of the obesity epidemic goes hand in hand with the proliferation and popularity of dieting. "It's now well established that the more people engage in dieting, the more weight they gain in the long term. The more the world shames people about their bodies, the messier our relationship with our bodies becomes.(source) (source)*
TW: *Feminicide* *Capital punishment* *Domestic violence* * mention of war* * mention of racism and sexism*
CW: *prison mention*
They had just finished watching the film of their weekly evening, and Cameron brought his colleagues fresh drinks.
Sam hung up and returned to them: Oh, I'm so sorry. Cassie says hello.
Teal’c: How is she?
Sam nodded and smiled, thanking him for his concern: She spends the evening with friends.
He inclined his head toward her. They knew this was a complicated day: the anniversary of Janet's death.
Sam settled down and tried to change the subject: What were you talking about?
Cameron sank into his seat: Today. Let the bastard go free as if nothing had happened.
Sam lowered her head in compassion: Hum.
Daniel frowned and looked at them: “Hum”?
Cameron looked at Daniel: What? You're not going to tell me you agree with their decision Jackson?
Daniel bent his head and grimaced: Well, then... Think of Ke'ra. (he looked at Cameron) We had met a woman called Linea years ago.
Teal’c: "The Destroyer of Worlds”
Cameron: I remember your reports.
Daniel nodded his head: It was quite an interesting solution.
Sam quipped: “interesting”? (she gritted her teeth) The guy gets off scot-free, but his ex-wife is dead.
Daniel: So what, he should have been put in the electric chair?
Sam's face decomposed, Cameron gritted his teeth and preferred to look away so as not to get upset.
Sam squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable: Prison would have been a solution.
Daniel: Oh, please. That was never a solution.
Cameron: Oh yeah. I'm with you on that.
Sam, astonished: Are you?
Cameron: Prisons are just a copy of schools. (they raised their eyebrows before questioning him with their eyes) What? we're cooped up all day with people we don't like and who don't want to be there either, the food is disgusting and served on plastic trays, we're timed for breaks and under constant surveillance.
Daniel stared at him and tried to lighten the mood: You loved your schooling, didn't you?
Cameron: Apart from the Air Force Academy? Not really, no.
Daniel preferred to continue with Sam: Have you seen the recidivism rate after incarceration? Let's talk about detention centers for people fleeing their countries because of war or other oppressions? (he correctly placed his glasses back on his nose) Remind me how many times we've been imprisoned? (she looked at him blasély, knowing full well it wasn't the same thing. Daniel added more sharply) And Anang? And Dr. Williams' mother? (he looked at her) And Jack, how many times was he innocent?
She strongly restrained herself from retorting once again to ask him where he stood on the subject in view of his mother's death in the face of his violent father. Nevertheless, she glanced at him to make sure he didn't add anything more, either about Cameron or about her relationship with Jack. Daniel understood this and nodded slightly.
Daniel to Cameron: I'm sorry, this is not a conversation we should be having after what you've been through.
Cameron: In principle, I agree with you. I just think it's disgusting for the victim.
Sam raised her eyebrows: Or her relatives.
He nodded and smiled softly, grateful.
Daniel, cautiously: Many civil rights activists are in favor of abolishing prison, for example... (to Sam, shaking his head) I don't even understand how you don't understand. (she frowned and he insisted) You're against the death penalty!
She stared at him for a few seconds, trying to make him understand that this wasn't the problem, but Daniel didn't seem to understand what she meant.
Sam, calm: I'm against it, yeah. I was able to read the mission reports on a Pegasus planet recently, Olesia. Very interesting. (he looked at her obviously. She gritted her teeth and insisted, without turning up the volume, so that he would understand better) But while we're waiting for an ideal world, I wish some people had been locked up before they could continue what they were doing.
Daniel's face fell. She tilted her head to confirm that he was finally understood. He swallowed and lowered his head. Cameron juggled his gaze between the two of them, skeptical that these two friends would behave this way. He questioned Teal'c, who remained stoic.
Cameron: Okay... Let's talk about other things. (to Sam, more quietly, a little worried) I heard about Orlin. (even lower) I'm sorry, Sam.
Sam glanced at Daniel and Teal'c, then at Cameron: Hmm.
Cameron frowned: You always do this.
Sam questioned him with her eyes: "This" what?
Cameron pointed to Daniel and Teal'c with his beer: Look at them before answering me. Well... on most subjects. (She winced, which made Daniel laugh, and she squinted at him. So much for trying to change the mood, Cam, he thought) There you go again. (he frowned and looked at her) Don't you trust me?
She tilted her head to make sure he wasn't talking nonsense.
Daniel: Let's just say that Sam tends to need... time?
Sam looked at him, blasé: Thank you, Daniel. (She looked at Cameron.) I trust you, Cam. I really do.
Cameron: So what's going on?
Sam frowned: What do you mean?
Cameron: I know more about Teal'c than I do about you. (Teal'c raised an eyebrow, at Teal'c) No offense, T.
Teal’c inclined his head: I'm not.
Sam raised her eyebrows: What do you want to know?
Cameron: I don't know... I was hoping you could tell me something about yourself. Something personal. Come on, a little sympathy for the new guy.
She smiled nervously and looked at Daniel and Teal'c, who seemed very amused by the situation.
Cameron pointed his beer at her: You're doing it again!
Sam, defeated: Okay okay! It's really because you've had a bad day, huh. (she moved a hand towards him and took a sip) Ask me your questions.
Cameron ponders: Hummm...
Sam insisted: We have veto power.
Cameron rolled his eyes: You're no fun.
Daniel almost choked on his beer, Teal'c smiled slightly and she gave them a "really, guys?" look.
Sam remained polite but clenched her teeth slightly: I like to have the choice.
Cameron tried to calm the situation: Um ok for the veto. First question! (he rested his elbow on the table and looked at her falsely intensely) You see anyone?
Daniel closed his eyes to keep from laughing again, and she refrained from reminding him that he'd offered to punch her in the face a few months ago.
Sam put his elbow on the table and looked intensely at Cameron: Veto.
Cameron straightened up, falsely disappointed: There you go!
Teal'c and Daniel laughed.
Sam turned to the other two: And you, gentlemen?
Daniel took a sip: Ahem. Not in your game. (he looked at his friend) Isn't that Teal'c?
Teal’c looked at Daniel: We are not.
She squinted at them and Daniel imitated her, shaking his head at her like a child.
Cameron: No one. Hmm. (he tilted his head) I've got someone in my sights.
Sam, curious: Who?
Cameron: Is that your question?
Sam smiled and moved her beer towards him: Come on, new guy.
Cameron put his elbow on the table and imitated Sam: Veto.
They laughed again.
Daniel pointed his beer at Cameron: I've heard things about you and Dr. Lam.
Cameron frowned: What?
Sam frowned: “Heard”?
Daniel uncomfortable with Sam's gaze: Uh... Rumors. (He squirmed in his seat) Sorry.
Cameron to Sam: You're not with a cop?
Sam: Rumors?
Cameron bent his head: Yeah… (he frowned) How come you don't like “rumors” but be extremely curious about gossip?
Sam swallows slightly: It's not the same thing. (Cameron questioned her with his eyes, unconvinced of this answer, and she tilted her head) Let's say we're in a conversation where we have the choice to say what we want to say here or not.
Cameron nodded his head: What can be said behind our backs, no. (she nodded) Ok ok. Got it.
He took a sip and there was silence.
Sam resolved: I've been with a cop. Pete, Pete Shanahan. Just under two years. I broke it off a few weeks before the wedding.
Cameron grimaced: Outch. Sorry.
Sam: Hum. It was better for both of us.
Cameron: Because of work?
Sam uncomfortable: No, he got permission.
Cameron played with his bottle label: Ok, ok.
There was a silence where they thought back to their last mission. She told herself that Cameron was trying to make an effort with her, and that she should do the same.
Sam: Your biggest fear?
Cameron: No more legs. (he moved his hand) My father lost his legs, and that marked me. (They looked at him, sympathetic) And you?
Sam: To be left behind.
She looked at Daniel for a second before looking away quickly. The latter froze, and Cameron again had that feeling of secrets between them.
Cameron: Yeah, I understand that. I don't mean just with this last mission, but this feeling that every time you leave the front, it's not a relief like you'd think, but a heartbreak to let your colleagues or civilians get killed without you being able to do anything about it.
They nodded, and Daniel couldn't help remembering his conversation with her about Khalek.
Sam, lower: I was also watching TV that day. (he questioned her with his eyes) The Columbia launch? (He nodded and she looked at Teal'c) First launch of a reusable space shuttle.
Cameron smiles gently: Is that what made you want to become an astronaut?
Sam, overwhelmed by emotions: Hum. (the others noticed her condition and looked at each other. She swallowed and sank into her seat) My mother died in a car accident a year later. I think that had a lot to do with it.
Cameron: Oh Sam. I'm very sorry.
Sam rested her gaze on her bottle: I remember thinking that if I could know how things worked around me, I'd be able to prevent the people around me from dying. (she smiled, blowing out her nose as she kept her eyes on her bottle, thinking back to the discussion she'd had with Dr Dang) Which is ridiculous because I definitely couldn't have been a doctor.
Cameron, stunned: No, it's not… (he remained silent for a moment, frowning at the echo. The others questioned him with their eyes) That's exactly what my father said to me that day.
Sam raised her eyebrows: Oh. (she looked at Daniel and Teal'c, who knew about her echoes, and winced slightly. Cameron saw this and questioned her with his eyes. She quickly returned to the main subject) I did everything I could to get into NASA, but the Challenger accident led me to the Air Force.
Cameron, surprised: Oh. It's true that I often forget that Science is your thing first.
Sam with astonishment: How can we forget that?
Cameron: Hey. My memory has just been tampered with, I remind you!
They laughed.
Daniel looked at them: You're not alone. (he moved his hand towards Teal'c to give him more explanations) Columbia's first launch gave hope to the majority of the American population.
Cameron: Vietnam War.
Daniel approved: As well as major racial movements in our streets. It wasn't just a matter of running against the Russians, the people were divided, Columbia brought them together. (he moved his hand towards her) They wanted to do the same thing with Challenger.
Sam nodded her head: I remember. First Asians, first African-Americans, first women...
Daniel insist: First civilian.
Sam approved: A teacher. Christa McAuliffe.
Daniel: She emphasized the impact of ordinary people on history.
Cameron: It was political.
Daniel nodded and concluded cynically: Population control with hope.
Cameron: Damn. I remember that. (he pointed a finger at them) The newspapers were really on a loop about it.
Sam grimaced at her own situation: Yeah. They measured public enthusiasm by the position of the articles in the newspaper.
Daniel: Cover, second page, third page... (she nodded, uncomfortable. He correctly placed his glasses back on his nose and looked at her) A study has just been published on the subject. In keeping with the glass ceiling, women are more likely to be given positions of responsibility when a company is doing badly.
Teal’c: What for?
Daniel tilted his head and smiled nervously: If they don't succeed in getting the company back on its feet, we can say it's his fault.
Daniel looked at her nervously, she forced herself upright and decided to change the subject.
Notes:
*Example of social injustice in the face of justice (source)*
*Video: Virility is expensive for the state. Very expensive. That's according to historian Lucile Peytavin, who did the math (source)*
*Article: 8 misconceptions about prisons and prisoners (source)*
*Article: Who is locked up in prison and who benefits? (source)*
*Article: When a woman kills her violent partner to escape him, isn't that self-defence? (source)*
*Video: Prison breaks you or turns you into a monster. (source)*
*Article: Toxic masculinity in men's prisons (source)*
*Article: Although there are more men than women in prison, the growth rate of the female prison population is twice as high as that of the male prison population.. (source)*
CW: *prison mention*
They had just finished watching the film of their weekly evening, and Cameron brought his colleagues fresh drinks.
Sam hung up and returned to them: Oh, I'm so sorry. Cassie says hello.
Teal’c: How is she?
Sam nodded and smiled, thanking him for his concern: She spends the evening with friends.
He inclined his head toward her. They knew this was a complicated day: the anniversary of Janet's death.
Sam settled down and tried to change the subject: What were you talking about?
Cameron sank into his seat: Today. Let the bastard go free as if nothing had happened.
Sam lowered her head in compassion: Hum.
Daniel frowned and looked at them: “Hum”?
Cameron looked at Daniel: What? You're not going to tell me you agree with their decision Jackson?
Daniel bent his head and grimaced: Well, then... Think of Ke'ra. (he looked at Cameron) We had met a woman called Linea years ago.
Teal’c: "The Destroyer of Worlds”
Cameron: I remember your reports.
Daniel nodded his head: It was quite an interesting solution.
Sam quipped: “interesting”? (she gritted her teeth) The guy gets off scot-free, but his ex-wife is dead.
Daniel: So what, he should have been put in the electric chair?
Sam's face decomposed, Cameron gritted his teeth and preferred to look away so as not to get upset.
Sam squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable: Prison would have been a solution.
Daniel: Oh, please. That was never a solution.
Cameron: Oh yeah. I'm with you on that.
Sam, astonished: Are you?
Cameron: Prisons are just a copy of schools. (they raised their eyebrows before questioning him with their eyes) What? we're cooped up all day with people we don't like and who don't want to be there either, the food is disgusting and served on plastic trays, we're timed for breaks and under constant surveillance.
Daniel stared at him and tried to lighten the mood: You loved your schooling, didn't you?
Cameron: Apart from the Air Force Academy? Not really, no.
Daniel preferred to continue with Sam: Have you seen the recidivism rate after incarceration? Let's talk about detention centers for people fleeing their countries because of war or other oppressions? (he correctly placed his glasses back on his nose) Remind me how many times we've been imprisoned? (she looked at him blasély, knowing full well it wasn't the same thing. Daniel added more sharply) And Anang? And Dr. Williams' mother? (he looked at her) And Jack, how many times was he innocent?
She strongly restrained herself from retorting once again to ask him where he stood on the subject in view of his mother's death in the face of his violent father. Nevertheless, she glanced at him to make sure he didn't add anything more, either about Cameron or about her relationship with Jack. Daniel understood this and nodded slightly.
Daniel to Cameron: I'm sorry, this is not a conversation we should be having after what you've been through.
Cameron: In principle, I agree with you. I just think it's disgusting for the victim.
Sam raised her eyebrows: Or her relatives.
He nodded and smiled softly, grateful.
Daniel, cautiously: Many civil rights activists are in favor of abolishing prison, for example... (to Sam, shaking his head) I don't even understand how you don't understand. (she frowned and he insisted) You're against the death penalty!
She stared at him for a few seconds, trying to make him understand that this wasn't the problem, but Daniel didn't seem to understand what she meant.
Sam, calm: I'm against it, yeah. I was able to read the mission reports on a Pegasus planet recently, Olesia. Very interesting. (he looked at her obviously. She gritted her teeth and insisted, without turning up the volume, so that he would understand better) But while we're waiting for an ideal world, I wish some people had been locked up before they could continue what they were doing.
Daniel's face fell. She tilted her head to confirm that he was finally understood. He swallowed and lowered his head. Cameron juggled his gaze between the two of them, skeptical that these two friends would behave this way. He questioned Teal'c, who remained stoic.
Cameron: Okay... Let's talk about other things. (to Sam, more quietly, a little worried) I heard about Orlin. (even lower) I'm sorry, Sam.
Sam glanced at Daniel and Teal'c, then at Cameron: Hmm.
Cameron frowned: You always do this.
Sam questioned him with her eyes: "This" what?
Cameron pointed to Daniel and Teal'c with his beer: Look at them before answering me. Well... on most subjects. (She winced, which made Daniel laugh, and she squinted at him. So much for trying to change the mood, Cam, he thought) There you go again. (he frowned and looked at her) Don't you trust me?
She tilted her head to make sure he wasn't talking nonsense.
Daniel: Let's just say that Sam tends to need... time?
Sam looked at him, blasé: Thank you, Daniel. (She looked at Cameron.) I trust you, Cam. I really do.
Cameron: So what's going on?
Sam frowned: What do you mean?
Cameron: I know more about Teal'c than I do about you. (Teal'c raised an eyebrow, at Teal'c) No offense, T.
Teal’c inclined his head: I'm not.
Sam raised her eyebrows: What do you want to know?
Cameron: I don't know... I was hoping you could tell me something about yourself. Something personal. Come on, a little sympathy for the new guy.
She smiled nervously and looked at Daniel and Teal'c, who seemed very amused by the situation.
Cameron pointed his beer at her: You're doing it again!
Sam, defeated: Okay okay! It's really because you've had a bad day, huh. (she moved a hand towards him and took a sip) Ask me your questions.
Cameron ponders: Hummm...
Sam insisted: We have veto power.
Cameron rolled his eyes: You're no fun.
Daniel almost choked on his beer, Teal'c smiled slightly and she gave them a "really, guys?" look.
Sam remained polite but clenched her teeth slightly: I like to have the choice.
Cameron tried to calm the situation: Um ok for the veto. First question! (he rested his elbow on the table and looked at her falsely intensely) You see anyone?
Daniel closed his eyes to keep from laughing again, and she refrained from reminding him that he'd offered to punch her in the face a few months ago.
Sam put his elbow on the table and looked intensely at Cameron: Veto.
Cameron straightened up, falsely disappointed: There you go!
Teal'c and Daniel laughed.
Sam turned to the other two: And you, gentlemen?
Daniel took a sip: Ahem. Not in your game. (he looked at his friend) Isn't that Teal'c?
Teal’c looked at Daniel: We are not.
She squinted at them and Daniel imitated her, shaking his head at her like a child.
Cameron: No one. Hmm. (he tilted his head) I've got someone in my sights.
Sam, curious: Who?
Cameron: Is that your question?
Sam smiled and moved her beer towards him: Come on, new guy.
Cameron put his elbow on the table and imitated Sam: Veto.
They laughed again.
Daniel pointed his beer at Cameron: I've heard things about you and Dr. Lam.
Cameron frowned: What?
Sam frowned: “Heard”?
Daniel uncomfortable with Sam's gaze: Uh... Rumors. (He squirmed in his seat) Sorry.
Cameron to Sam: You're not with a cop?
Sam: Rumors?
Cameron bent his head: Yeah… (he frowned) How come you don't like “rumors” but be extremely curious about gossip?
Sam swallows slightly: It's not the same thing. (Cameron questioned her with his eyes, unconvinced of this answer, and she tilted her head) Let's say we're in a conversation where we have the choice to say what we want to say here or not.
Cameron nodded his head: What can be said behind our backs, no. (she nodded) Ok ok. Got it.
He took a sip and there was silence.
Sam resolved: I've been with a cop. Pete, Pete Shanahan. Just under two years. I broke it off a few weeks before the wedding.
Cameron grimaced: Outch. Sorry.
Sam: Hum. It was better for both of us.
Cameron: Because of work?
Sam uncomfortable: No, he got permission.
Cameron played with his bottle label: Ok, ok.
There was a silence where they thought back to their last mission. She told herself that Cameron was trying to make an effort with her, and that she should do the same.
Sam: Your biggest fear?
Cameron: No more legs. (he moved his hand) My father lost his legs, and that marked me. (They looked at him, sympathetic) And you?
Sam: To be left behind.
She looked at Daniel for a second before looking away quickly. The latter froze, and Cameron again had that feeling of secrets between them.
Cameron: Yeah, I understand that. I don't mean just with this last mission, but this feeling that every time you leave the front, it's not a relief like you'd think, but a heartbreak to let your colleagues or civilians get killed without you being able to do anything about it.
They nodded, and Daniel couldn't help remembering his conversation with her about Khalek.
Sam, lower: I was also watching TV that day. (he questioned her with his eyes) The Columbia launch? (He nodded and she looked at Teal'c) First launch of a reusable space shuttle.
Cameron smiles gently: Is that what made you want to become an astronaut?
Sam, overwhelmed by emotions: Hum. (the others noticed her condition and looked at each other. She swallowed and sank into her seat) My mother died in a car accident a year later. I think that had a lot to do with it.
Cameron: Oh Sam. I'm very sorry.
Sam rested her gaze on her bottle: I remember thinking that if I could know how things worked around me, I'd be able to prevent the people around me from dying. (she smiled, blowing out her nose as she kept her eyes on her bottle, thinking back to the discussion she'd had with Dr Dang) Which is ridiculous because I definitely couldn't have been a doctor.
Cameron, stunned: No, it's not… (he remained silent for a moment, frowning at the echo. The others questioned him with their eyes) That's exactly what my father said to me that day.
Sam raised her eyebrows: Oh. (she looked at Daniel and Teal'c, who knew about her echoes, and winced slightly. Cameron saw this and questioned her with his eyes. She quickly returned to the main subject) I did everything I could to get into NASA, but the Challenger accident led me to the Air Force.
Cameron, surprised: Oh. It's true that I often forget that Science is your thing first.
Sam with astonishment: How can we forget that?
Cameron: Hey. My memory has just been tampered with, I remind you!
They laughed.
Daniel looked at them: You're not alone. (he moved his hand towards Teal'c to give him more explanations) Columbia's first launch gave hope to the majority of the American population.
Cameron: Vietnam War.
Daniel approved: As well as major racial movements in our streets. It wasn't just a matter of running against the Russians, the people were divided, Columbia brought them together. (he moved his hand towards her) They wanted to do the same thing with Challenger.
Sam nodded her head: I remember. First Asians, first African-Americans, first women...
Daniel insist: First civilian.
Sam approved: A teacher. Christa McAuliffe.
Daniel: She emphasized the impact of ordinary people on history.
Cameron: It was political.
Daniel nodded and concluded cynically: Population control with hope.
Cameron: Damn. I remember that. (he pointed a finger at them) The newspapers were really on a loop about it.
Sam grimaced at her own situation: Yeah. They measured public enthusiasm by the position of the articles in the newspaper.
Daniel: Cover, second page, third page... (she nodded, uncomfortable. He correctly placed his glasses back on his nose and looked at her) A study has just been published on the subject. In keeping with the glass ceiling, women are more likely to be given positions of responsibility when a company is doing badly.
Teal’c: What for?
Daniel tilted his head and smiled nervously: If they don't succeed in getting the company back on its feet, we can say it's his fault.
Daniel looked at her nervously, she forced herself upright and decided to change the subject.
Notes:
*Example of social injustice in the face of justice (source)*
*Video: Virility is expensive for the state. Very expensive. That's according to historian Lucile Peytavin, who did the math (source)*
*Article: 8 misconceptions about prisons and prisoners (source)*
*Article: Who is locked up in prison and who benefits? (source)*
*Article: When a woman kills her violent partner to escape him, isn't that self-defence? (source)*
*Video: Prison breaks you or turns you into a monster. (source)*
*Article: Toxic masculinity in men's prisons (source)*
*Article: Although there are more men than women in prison, the growth rate of the female prison population is twice as high as that of the male prison population.. (source)*
Sam addressed Daniel and Teal'c: Doesn't this technology remind you of something?
Daniel: Yeah.
Teal’c: 289. It was disturbing.
Cameron stared at them: The biodome with the toxic atmosphere?
Sam nodded her head: I had the impression of recognizing the infrastructure of their old network.
Teal’c: The similarities were indeed there.
Cameron raised his eyebrows: Any relatives of the Galarans?
Sam: I don't think they quite told us where this technology came from. (she moved her hand) The mnemonic disks do come from Goa'uld technology but their adaptation system was virtually the same as that of the network. This was confirmed when I connected to it. It should have taken much longer.
Cameron: Are you sure?
Sam: I'm not mistaken.
Cameron frowned: Why didn't you mention this at the briefing or in your reports?
Teal’c: Because we don't know what happened initially.
Daniel: Exactly.
Cameron, lost: What?
Teal’c: The cause of their world's destruction remains unclear.
Daniel: The only information we have is that their advanced technology led to their downfall. There is no trace of the writings or why the dome was created, and above all...
Teal’c contracted his jaw: By whom.
Daniel: Perhaps an enemy faction.
Teal’c: More information is needed.
Sam proposed: Pallan? (Daniel and Teal'c nodded in agreement and she insisted.) Discreetly.
Teal’c: Indeed.
Cameron juggled his gaze between the three of them: What?
Daniel: I'll take care of it.
She nodded.
Cameron: Wait wait! (he insisted) “Discreetly”?
Daniel: You said it yourself. This technology and these people should be treated with caution. We don't know if the Galarans aren't going through the same thing as the Pallan people in another way.
Teal’c: They have the technology.
Sam insisted Cameron: They offered to erase what had been implanted in you.
Daniel nodded and insisted too: We don't know what our own people will decide to do with this technology.
Cameron: Oh, come on. You don't think that-
Daniel began to grow impatient: Imagine on a grand scale. (more keenly) Adapt to I don't know...
Sam proposed: Our phones.
Teal’c: Or your TV sets.
Daniel approved: Look at the political speeches hidden in films that seem aberrant to us now but were (he made quotation marks with his fingers) "normal" back then.
Teal’c: And not just in your films.
Sam approved and repeated cynically: Challenger, Columbia…
Daniel insist: Can you tell us 100% that you trust our representatives on this point?
Cameron thought: Bluebird project.
She nodded and Cameron considered the answer for a few seconds. Daniel, Teal'c and Sam glanced at each other.
Sam tested him with a touch of apprehension: Can we trust you?
He raised his head and stared at her. He perceived the steady gaze of the other two on him, understood that this was a test following their discussion of a few minutes ago and nodded. And as he did so, he again had the strange sensation that this was far from being his last test.
Notes:
*My fanfic opens with the funeral of Sam's mother in April 1982. The Columbia shuttle launch took place on April 12, 1981*
*289" refers to P3X-289 (source)*
*Documentary series (5x20 min) | 5 episodes, 5 themes showing 5 areas and routes of detention in France (source)*
*Information on Olesia in Stargate (source)*
*Information on Angela Davis (source)*
*Article: Women and prison (source)*
*Article on the abolition of prison (source) (source)*
*Example of a racist miscarriage of justice (source)*
*Article: detainee beaten by police found dead (source)*
*Article: my journey towards anti-carcinerality (source) (source)*
*Testimony: it's easier to get into prison than to get out. (source)*
*Testimonial: Once he's out, I want him to be far away from the delinquent, criminal environment he's known all his life. (source)*
*Pieper Lewis article (source)*
*Article: An Australian Aboriginal boy spent 22 consecutive days, and a total of 45 days, in solitary confinement. Due to Australia's strict bail laws, the 13-year-old was detained for two months.(source)*
*"In July 2014, Hawaii signed the Juvenile Justice Reform Bill (Act 201) to address its high child incarceration figures." (source)*
*Article: Communities with hope and without police (source)*
*Video: Abolition of prison: Thinking about justice differently (source)*
*Article: A Massachusetts bill proposes that prisoners donate their organs in exchange for a lighter sentence. (source)*
*Article: "More than one in four people awaiting trial in New York City jails are not brought to court on time, resulting in longer time spent behind bars. Longer terms of incarceration have led to an increase in the prison population." (source)*
*Article: Prison, myths and realities (source)*
*An example of how French justice is useless (source)*
*In my first chapter, the Challenger accident is in the third paragraph*
*Challenger information(source)*
*Columbia information (source)*
*Article: Sally Ride, the first American woman in space (source)*
*Reminder of my chapter 16:
“Jack: And I suspect that the idea for all your public appearances came from him too.
Sam thought: The dates correspond with his arrival at the White House. (He nodded.) What would be his plan?
Jack: Become the Army's capital sympathy spokesmen for a non-civilian-led project in case it gets exposed?
Sam frowned: Hmm.
Jack shrugged slightly: That was my only guess.
Sam: No no, I mean... I know how it works. (she moved her hand) And they cancelled my next conferences.
Jack: Hum?
Sam: It probably has something to do with my change of job. (she tilted her head) And I missed this week's without being able to give much reason other than a complicated adolescence...
Jack raised his eyebrows: Damn.
Sam: I'm not complaining.
Jack: No no, I mean my guess was right. They probably didn't like you taking another job, hiring mostly civilians, away from the gate, and so unpredictably.
Sam: Yeah. I guess so.”*
*Video: 1967, Soviet space shuttle "accident", the race to conquer Space (source)*
*I recommend the excellent series "For all mankind", about an alternative reality in which the Russians were the first to set foot on the Moon. The political stakes involved in this race between the USA and the Russians are explained in depth.(source)*
*Tokenism definition (wikipedia): "The practice of making symbolic efforts to include minority groups in order to avoid accusations of discrimination. In the world of work, for example, this involves a company recruiting a few people from these groups and promoting them. The practice is to be distinguished from positive discrimination, as tokenism is not necessarily practiced with the intention of promoting the individuals put forward, but rather with the intention of concealing reality and producing "cache-misère"." (source)*
*Video: We see a lot of racialized people defending the dominant discourse. How do you explain this phenomenon? Can we talk about "TOKEN"?(source)*
*Article: After Sophie Adenot, the number of French astronauts in space could be counted on the fingers of two hands. Selected by the European Space Agency to join the next generation of astronauts, this engineer, helicopter test pilot, polyglot and yoga teacher will be the second French woman in space, after Claudie André-Deshays, wife of Haigneré, in 1996. (source)*
*Information sur Christa McAuliffe (source)*
*Information on the Bluebird project (source)*
*Information sur le plafond de verre (source)*
*Information on the glass cliff (source)*
*Video: What is the glass cliff? (source)*
*Article: After the glass ceiling, the glass cliff: when women become leaders in times of crisis(source)*
*Video: Slavery isn't dead, now white privilege calls it prisons (source)*
*Did you know that slavery still exists in the United States? (source) (source)*
*Video: "A man, at some point, considers himself an owner." (source)*
*Video: "selling your soul" in the entertainment industry (source)*
*Sam has a running gag about phones, so it's no coincidence that she's the one offering the phones: “Sam proposed: Our phones.”*
*”Daniel: Let's just say that Sam tends to need... time?”* fait référence à un passage un peu plus tôt dans ce chapitre:
“Cameron appeared and walked towards them with a tray in hand.
Sam to Daniel and Teal'c: Not a word. (they looked at her, rather surprised, and she added quickly) Give me time. (they stopped themselves from smiling too loudly.”*
Daniel: Yeah.
Teal’c: 289. It was disturbing.
Cameron stared at them: The biodome with the toxic atmosphere?
Sam nodded her head: I had the impression of recognizing the infrastructure of their old network.
Teal’c: The similarities were indeed there.
Cameron raised his eyebrows: Any relatives of the Galarans?
Sam: I don't think they quite told us where this technology came from. (she moved her hand) The mnemonic disks do come from Goa'uld technology but their adaptation system was virtually the same as that of the network. This was confirmed when I connected to it. It should have taken much longer.
Cameron: Are you sure?
Sam: I'm not mistaken.
Cameron frowned: Why didn't you mention this at the briefing or in your reports?
Teal’c: Because we don't know what happened initially.
Daniel: Exactly.
Cameron, lost: What?
Teal’c: The cause of their world's destruction remains unclear.
Daniel: The only information we have is that their advanced technology led to their downfall. There is no trace of the writings or why the dome was created, and above all...
Teal’c contracted his jaw: By whom.
Daniel: Perhaps an enemy faction.
Teal’c: More information is needed.
Sam proposed: Pallan? (Daniel and Teal'c nodded in agreement and she insisted.) Discreetly.
Teal’c: Indeed.
Cameron juggled his gaze between the three of them: What?
Daniel: I'll take care of it.
She nodded.
Cameron: Wait wait! (he insisted) “Discreetly”?
Daniel: You said it yourself. This technology and these people should be treated with caution. We don't know if the Galarans aren't going through the same thing as the Pallan people in another way.
Teal’c: They have the technology.
Sam insisted Cameron: They offered to erase what had been implanted in you.
Daniel nodded and insisted too: We don't know what our own people will decide to do with this technology.
Cameron: Oh, come on. You don't think that-
Daniel began to grow impatient: Imagine on a grand scale. (more keenly) Adapt to I don't know...
Sam proposed: Our phones.
Teal’c: Or your TV sets.
Daniel approved: Look at the political speeches hidden in films that seem aberrant to us now but were (he made quotation marks with his fingers) "normal" back then.
Teal’c: And not just in your films.
Sam approved and repeated cynically: Challenger, Columbia…
Daniel insist: Can you tell us 100% that you trust our representatives on this point?
Cameron thought: Bluebird project.
She nodded and Cameron considered the answer for a few seconds. Daniel, Teal'c and Sam glanced at each other.
Sam tested him with a touch of apprehension: Can we trust you?
He raised his head and stared at her. He perceived the steady gaze of the other two on him, understood that this was a test following their discussion of a few minutes ago and nodded. And as he did so, he again had the strange sensation that this was far from being his last test.
Notes:
*My fanfic opens with the funeral of Sam's mother in April 1982. The Columbia shuttle launch took place on April 12, 1981*
*289" refers to P3X-289 (source)*
*Documentary series (5x20 min) | 5 episodes, 5 themes showing 5 areas and routes of detention in France (source)*
*Information on Olesia in Stargate (source)*
*Information on Angela Davis (source)*
*Article: Women and prison (source)*
*Article on the abolition of prison (source) (source)*
*Example of a racist miscarriage of justice (source)*
*Article: detainee beaten by police found dead (source)*
*Article: my journey towards anti-carcinerality (source) (source)*
*Testimony: it's easier to get into prison than to get out. (source)*
*Testimonial: Once he's out, I want him to be far away from the delinquent, criminal environment he's known all his life. (source)*
*Pieper Lewis article (source)*
*Article: An Australian Aboriginal boy spent 22 consecutive days, and a total of 45 days, in solitary confinement. Due to Australia's strict bail laws, the 13-year-old was detained for two months.(source)*
*"In July 2014, Hawaii signed the Juvenile Justice Reform Bill (Act 201) to address its high child incarceration figures." (source)*
*Article: Communities with hope and without police (source)*
*Video: Abolition of prison: Thinking about justice differently (source)*
*Article: A Massachusetts bill proposes that prisoners donate their organs in exchange for a lighter sentence. (source)*
*Article: "More than one in four people awaiting trial in New York City jails are not brought to court on time, resulting in longer time spent behind bars. Longer terms of incarceration have led to an increase in the prison population." (source)*
*Article: Prison, myths and realities (source)*
*An example of how French justice is useless (source)*
*In my first chapter, the Challenger accident is in the third paragraph*
*Challenger information(source)*
*Columbia information (source)*
*Article: Sally Ride, the first American woman in space (source)*
*Reminder of my chapter 16:
“Jack: And I suspect that the idea for all your public appearances came from him too.
Sam thought: The dates correspond with his arrival at the White House. (He nodded.) What would be his plan?
Jack: Become the Army's capital sympathy spokesmen for a non-civilian-led project in case it gets exposed?
Sam frowned: Hmm.
Jack shrugged slightly: That was my only guess.
Sam: No no, I mean... I know how it works. (she moved her hand) And they cancelled my next conferences.
Jack: Hum?
Sam: It probably has something to do with my change of job. (she tilted her head) And I missed this week's without being able to give much reason other than a complicated adolescence...
Jack raised his eyebrows: Damn.
Sam: I'm not complaining.
Jack: No no, I mean my guess was right. They probably didn't like you taking another job, hiring mostly civilians, away from the gate, and so unpredictably.
Sam: Yeah. I guess so.”*
*Video: 1967, Soviet space shuttle "accident", the race to conquer Space (source)*
*I recommend the excellent series "For all mankind", about an alternative reality in which the Russians were the first to set foot on the Moon. The political stakes involved in this race between the USA and the Russians are explained in depth.(source)*
*Tokenism definition (wikipedia): "The practice of making symbolic efforts to include minority groups in order to avoid accusations of discrimination. In the world of work, for example, this involves a company recruiting a few people from these groups and promoting them. The practice is to be distinguished from positive discrimination, as tokenism is not necessarily practiced with the intention of promoting the individuals put forward, but rather with the intention of concealing reality and producing "cache-misère"." (source)*
*Video: We see a lot of racialized people defending the dominant discourse. How do you explain this phenomenon? Can we talk about "TOKEN"?(source)*
*Article: After Sophie Adenot, the number of French astronauts in space could be counted on the fingers of two hands. Selected by the European Space Agency to join the next generation of astronauts, this engineer, helicopter test pilot, polyglot and yoga teacher will be the second French woman in space, after Claudie André-Deshays, wife of Haigneré, in 1996. (source)*
*Information sur Christa McAuliffe (source)*
*Information on the Bluebird project (source)*
*Information sur le plafond de verre (source)*
*Information on the glass cliff (source)*
*Video: What is the glass cliff? (source)*
*Article: After the glass ceiling, the glass cliff: when women become leaders in times of crisis(source)*
*Video: Slavery isn't dead, now white privilege calls it prisons (source)*
*Did you know that slavery still exists in the United States? (source) (source)*
*Video: "A man, at some point, considers himself an owner." (source)*
*Video: "selling your soul" in the entertainment industry (source)*
*Sam has a running gag about phones, so it's no coincidence that she's the one offering the phones: “Sam proposed: Our phones.”*
*”Daniel: Let's just say that Sam tends to need... time?”* fait référence à un passage un peu plus tôt dans ce chapitre:
“Cameron appeared and walked towards them with a tray in hand.
Sam to Daniel and Teal'c: Not a word. (they looked at her, rather surprised, and she added quickly) Give me time. (they stopped themselves from smiling too loudly.”*
CW: *infantilization*
Why had he left this newspaper lying around? And why on earth were there still crosswords in those papers? Sitting on the high chairs at the kitchen counter, in front of the grate, she bit her lips to keep from taking the piss out of him again. Pencil in hand, he was going to have to capitulate to his defeat again.
Jack grabbed the crossword puzzle and grumbled: All right, that's enough.
Sam smiled and saw him stand up: Where are you going?
Jack mumbled: Find the chessboard.
Sam, before he goes too far: Hang on a sec. I'd like to talk to you about something. (he resettled) Hum. I saw Martouf again.
Jack exclaimed happily: Marty! (more calmly) And?
Sam smiles shyly: And I was happy to see him again. (he smiled from the corner of his lips and put his hands in his pockets. She felt guilty.) I almost kissed him.
Jack: “almost ”?
Sam quickly defended herself: I didn't do anything.
Jack frowned: No, I mean... Why?
Sam, confused: ”Why” why?
Jack: Why "almost"?
Sam froze: What?
Jack: Carter. It was an important person in your life. I could understand.
Sam felt guilty and looked at him fearfully: It’s just… (she moved a hand towards him) I'm so sorry, I didn't think about you at all.
Jack dodged a smile and teased her: Really?
Sam looked away and decided to change the subject: Apparently I was on maternity leave.
Jack: Good news.
Sam teased him in turn: Maybe not from you.
Jack admits: Less good news... for me. (she smiled and he tilted his head) It could be worse.
Sam raised her eyebrows, surprised that he'd react like this: Hum. Is that a problem?
Jack, a little lost: Problem? What problem? Maternity leave?
Sam shook her head: Martouf.
Jack stared at her: We've already had this conversation. (she didn't answer, so he added gently) Talk to me.
Sam looked around, bewildered, and insisted: You, talk to me.
Jack, septic: You're telling me this so I'll fight for you?
Sam froze: What? No.
Jack took a deep, weary breath: Okay then...Which raises an obvious question. Suppose I see an ex-girlfriend again.
Sam: And?
Jack: And kiss her.
Sam straightened up slightly: Who?
Jack bent his head: Is it important? (there was a silence of several seconds and he insisted on his head movement) So?
Sam thoughtfully, then in a very serious tone: Then I guess you'd be a dead man.
Jack froze: Bad example.
Sam frowned: Look, I don't understand your reaction. I asked you if this ever happened to you I-
Jack tapped nervously on the table: Come one. It was a hot, rushed conversation. (she raised her eyebrows at his arguments) The assessment of the situation was not the product of a cool head.
Sam surprised: “A cool head”?
Jack: Let's just say the question doesn't arise. He's not there. You've done nothing.
Sam moved her hand: What if he was there? That I did it?
Jack: Still love him?
Sam froze: I... What? (he emphasized his question with a look and she looked away for a split second, lowering her gaze) I had very strong feelings for him.
Jack: I know that.
Sam, very embarrassed: All wound up. Yes.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Sam: Hu?
Jack: I'm thinking.
Sam felt ridiculous: Do you realize that we are currently having a conversation about something that will never happen?
Jack raised his eyebrows: Is that the kind of sentence you come up with? (she gave him a half-amused, half-blasé look, and he resumed his serious tone) Well... that would have been a problem.
Sam pointed at him, proud of herself: Ha ha!
Jack looked at her finger: And that's for me to work on. Not yours.
Sam lowered her hand in disbelief: Huh?
Jack thinks of a way to make her understand the substance of his thoughts: You were telling me about your doubts about your ex's engagement proposal instead of talking to him.
Sam: Hm.
Jack moved his hand briskly: And the same goes for buying a house. (he insisted) Did he have the same questions? Did you tell him about me?
Sam, uncomfortable admitting it: No…
Jack insisted again: Well, that's a problem. (she questioned him with her eyes, fearful) If you have any doubts about our relationship, if you have feelings for someone else or what have you, I'd love to hear about it. Which I think I've already told you. (he spread his arms and exclaimed) And that's exactly what you're doing right now.
She understood that he also meant their promise of honesty.
Sam assimilated all this and then breathed: Okay. (more keenly, to herself) Damn! I'm so bad at relationships.
Jack frowned: Hmm?
Sam, always in his thoughts: My father was right. At least he liked you.(she bent her head) You're the first.
Jack shook his hands in front of her: Wait, wait. (she looked up at him) Did your father have a problem with Pete?
Sam juggled her feet and looked away, uncomfortable: Eurrh.
Why had he left this newspaper lying around? And why on earth were there still crosswords in those papers? Sitting on the high chairs at the kitchen counter, in front of the grate, she bit her lips to keep from taking the piss out of him again. Pencil in hand, he was going to have to capitulate to his defeat again.
Jack grabbed the crossword puzzle and grumbled: All right, that's enough.
Sam smiled and saw him stand up: Where are you going?
Jack mumbled: Find the chessboard.
Sam, before he goes too far: Hang on a sec. I'd like to talk to you about something. (he resettled) Hum. I saw Martouf again.
Jack exclaimed happily: Marty! (more calmly) And?
Sam smiles shyly: And I was happy to see him again. (he smiled from the corner of his lips and put his hands in his pockets. She felt guilty.) I almost kissed him.
Jack: “almost ”?
Sam quickly defended herself: I didn't do anything.
Jack frowned: No, I mean... Why?
Sam, confused: ”Why” why?
Jack: Why "almost"?
Sam froze: What?
Jack: Carter. It was an important person in your life. I could understand.
Sam felt guilty and looked at him fearfully: It’s just… (she moved a hand towards him) I'm so sorry, I didn't think about you at all.
Jack dodged a smile and teased her: Really?
Sam looked away and decided to change the subject: Apparently I was on maternity leave.
Jack: Good news.
Sam teased him in turn: Maybe not from you.
Jack admits: Less good news... for me. (she smiled and he tilted his head) It could be worse.
Sam raised her eyebrows, surprised that he'd react like this: Hum. Is that a problem?
Jack, a little lost: Problem? What problem? Maternity leave?
Sam shook her head: Martouf.
Jack stared at her: We've already had this conversation. (she didn't answer, so he added gently) Talk to me.
Sam looked around, bewildered, and insisted: You, talk to me.
Jack, septic: You're telling me this so I'll fight for you?
Sam froze: What? No.
Jack took a deep, weary breath: Okay then...Which raises an obvious question. Suppose I see an ex-girlfriend again.
Sam: And?
Jack: And kiss her.
Sam straightened up slightly: Who?
Jack bent his head: Is it important? (there was a silence of several seconds and he insisted on his head movement) So?
Sam thoughtfully, then in a very serious tone: Then I guess you'd be a dead man.
Jack froze: Bad example.
Sam frowned: Look, I don't understand your reaction. I asked you if this ever happened to you I-
Jack tapped nervously on the table: Come one. It was a hot, rushed conversation. (she raised her eyebrows at his arguments) The assessment of the situation was not the product of a cool head.
Sam surprised: “A cool head”?
Jack: Let's just say the question doesn't arise. He's not there. You've done nothing.
Sam moved her hand: What if he was there? That I did it?
Jack: Still love him?
Sam froze: I... What? (he emphasized his question with a look and she looked away for a split second, lowering her gaze) I had very strong feelings for him.
Jack: I know that.
Sam, very embarrassed: All wound up. Yes.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Sam: Hu?
Jack: I'm thinking.
Sam felt ridiculous: Do you realize that we are currently having a conversation about something that will never happen?
Jack raised his eyebrows: Is that the kind of sentence you come up with? (she gave him a half-amused, half-blasé look, and he resumed his serious tone) Well... that would have been a problem.
Sam pointed at him, proud of herself: Ha ha!
Jack looked at her finger: And that's for me to work on. Not yours.
Sam lowered her hand in disbelief: Huh?
Jack thinks of a way to make her understand the substance of his thoughts: You were telling me about your doubts about your ex's engagement proposal instead of talking to him.
Sam: Hm.
Jack moved his hand briskly: And the same goes for buying a house. (he insisted) Did he have the same questions? Did you tell him about me?
Sam, uncomfortable admitting it: No…
Jack insisted again: Well, that's a problem. (she questioned him with her eyes, fearful) If you have any doubts about our relationship, if you have feelings for someone else or what have you, I'd love to hear about it. Which I think I've already told you. (he spread his arms and exclaimed) And that's exactly what you're doing right now.
She understood that he also meant their promise of honesty.
Sam assimilated all this and then breathed: Okay. (more keenly, to herself) Damn! I'm so bad at relationships.
Jack frowned: Hmm?
Sam, always in his thoughts: My father was right. At least he liked you.(she bent her head) You're the first.
Jack shook his hands in front of her: Wait, wait. (she looked up at him) Did your father have a problem with Pete?
Sam juggled her feet and looked away, uncomfortable: Eurrh.
Jacob joined him in his office.
Jack placed the documents on his desk: Give her a break (Jacob questioned him innocently with his eyes and Jack settled behind his desk. The To'kra preferred to stand and Jack added cautiously) Look, Dad, I'm not going to tell you how to raise your daughter-
Jacob cut him off sarcastically: Thank you.
Jack: -but Daniel is missing and maybe worse, because of her line. In the end, only she knows what's best for her.
Jacob: And I should let her make a big, huge mistake?
Jack raised his eyebrows and added with a hint of sarcasm: Divorce still exists here, ya know? (Jacob rolled his eyes impatiently, Jack grabbed a pen and looked at it between his fingers for a moment before adding lower) She seems satisfied with her life.
Jacob: Yeah. (Jack tensed and moistened his lips with nervousness. So Jacob tried diplomacy) Jack. I know the rules and-
Jack looked up at him and retorted firmly: "Don't go there. (He stared at him intensely so that he would understand that he wasn't going to risk a court martial because of a casual conversation when his daughter had made it clear several times that nothing would happen between them, but also out of respect for Kerry. Jacob stiffened and Jack stared at him. Strange, the man in front of him seemed to be searching for his words much more than usual. He dodged a smile as he concluded that Selmak must not agree with him and was surely tempering him, so Jack teased him) What does Selmak say? (Jacob froze and Jack definitely frowned at his behavior. After several seconds of silence, he resumed more cordially) Listen. (he straightened up in his seat) Sometimes you have to let go of people you can't keep forever.
Jacob showed no evidence of the flood of emotions pulverizing him at these words. He knew he was referring to Charlie, but without knowing that Selmak was in a coma and that he himself was doomed. He would soon have to say farewell to his children, and he no longer had his dear friend Selmak to accompany him in this process.
The two men continued to stare at each other for several seconds, Jack finally tilting his head to question his gaze, now worried by his actions.
Jacob, a little too coldly than he would have liked: Right.
He turned on his heel and disappeared down the corridor. Jack sank back in his chair, closed his eyes and sighed to relieve his stress.
Jack placed the documents on his desk: Give her a break (Jacob questioned him innocently with his eyes and Jack settled behind his desk. The To'kra preferred to stand and Jack added cautiously) Look, Dad, I'm not going to tell you how to raise your daughter-
Jacob cut him off sarcastically: Thank you.
Jack: -but Daniel is missing and maybe worse, because of her line. In the end, only she knows what's best for her.
Jacob: And I should let her make a big, huge mistake?
Jack raised his eyebrows and added with a hint of sarcasm: Divorce still exists here, ya know? (Jacob rolled his eyes impatiently, Jack grabbed a pen and looked at it between his fingers for a moment before adding lower) She seems satisfied with her life.
Jacob: Yeah. (Jack tensed and moistened his lips with nervousness. So Jacob tried diplomacy) Jack. I know the rules and-
Jack looked up at him and retorted firmly: "Don't go there. (He stared at him intensely so that he would understand that he wasn't going to risk a court martial because of a casual conversation when his daughter had made it clear several times that nothing would happen between them, but also out of respect for Kerry. Jacob stiffened and Jack stared at him. Strange, the man in front of him seemed to be searching for his words much more than usual. He dodged a smile as he concluded that Selmak must not agree with him and was surely tempering him, so Jack teased him) What does Selmak say? (Jacob froze and Jack definitely frowned at his behavior. After several seconds of silence, he resumed more cordially) Listen. (he straightened up in his seat) Sometimes you have to let go of people you can't keep forever.
Jacob showed no evidence of the flood of emotions pulverizing him at these words. He knew he was referring to Charlie, but without knowing that Selmak was in a coma and that he himself was doomed. He would soon have to say farewell to his children, and he no longer had his dear friend Selmak to accompany him in this process.
The two men continued to stare at each other for several seconds, Jack finally tilting his head to question his gaze, now worried by his actions.
Jacob, a little too coldly than he would have liked: Right.
He turned on his heel and disappeared down the corridor. Jack sank back in his chair, closed his eyes and sighed to relieve his stress.
Jack stared at her: Carter. Your father may not have liked her, but I hope that's not why you broke up.
She turned her head toward him and half opened her mouth, understanding that he was referring to the fact that no one should judge her relationship choices. She looked troubled, lowered her head to reflect. Indeed, her father had been very hard on Pete. Even if he had been clumsy in talking about Selmak in that way, he didn't have the codes and, above all, he didn't know that Selmak was in a coma and that they were about to die. She moistened her lips as she thought back to Hanson and concluded that he certainly just wanted to protect her... Had his protection made the situation too paternalistic? He'd made no effort and she'd felt like a child again. Would things have turned out differently if she'd set her limits or explained the Tok'ra codes to Pete beforehand? She remembered the words she'd imagined her father saying to her when she was stranded on the Prometheus.
She turned her head toward him and half opened her mouth, understanding that he was referring to the fact that no one should judge her relationship choices. She looked troubled, lowered her head to reflect. Indeed, her father had been very hard on Pete. Even if he had been clumsy in talking about Selmak in that way, he didn't have the codes and, above all, he didn't know that Selmak was in a coma and that they were about to die. She moistened her lips as she thought back to Hanson and concluded that he certainly just wanted to protect her... Had his protection made the situation too paternalistic? He'd made no effort and she'd felt like a child again. Would things have turned out differently if she'd set her limits or explained the Tok'ra codes to Pete beforehand? She remembered the words she'd imagined her father saying to her when she was stranded on the Prometheus.
I know it sounds corny, but you get to an age where you think about everything you did wrong as a parent.
Jack tried to bring her back to reality after several seconds of silence: Listen... You're the only one who knows what's best for you. (he moved his hand) And we've been living like this for months.
Sam emerged and pulled herself together: Sorry. Forget it, we're okay.
Jack raised his eyebrows at her strange reaction: I was going to suggest we take it to the next level.
Sam quickly: Oh boy. Yes. Please. (He huffed that she'd take back her lie and she added guiltily) And I'm sorry you put your life on hold when I'm not with you.
Jack rolled his eyes and muttered to himself: Definitely not my point.
Sam: I-I'll make time for you.
Jack raised his hands to her to stop her panicking: I'm just saying... Maybe it's time I started putting some of my mess in your house- (he caught himself) Our? Just a few things, nothing that attracts the hallway noises... Furniture, books, neutral clothes, vinyls, telescopes...(he almost whispered, thinking of Sam's toothbrush he saw every day at home) Toothbrush...
A flash of the Fifth simulation washed over her: An ideal house, a dog, Pete... Followed by the similar reality hitting her full force, an ideal house, a dog, Pete.
This echo had definitely made her put all her choices into perspective. But it wasn't just because of Pete, something deeper had terrified her, something Fifth had mentioned via Pete's appearance: She'd snapped nervously. He'd played on that particular fear, and when Jack had just offered to move in, she hadn't been able to help feeling a strange sensation: an intuition that it was going to happen again, but this time with Jack... But how could it happen again when they'd never lived together? Why was this feeling of being crazy so deeply rooted in this idea? Why did this feeling of having forgotten something that hadn't happened yet keep coming back?
Lost in thought, Jack stared at her, starting to get really nervous about waiting for an answer, even a negative one.
Jack tried not to lose face: Or just a drawer to start with. (he smiled awkwardly and spoke to himself, looking away) A drawer's fine.
Sam emerged again: Hu, sorry. (she added softly, intimidated) I loved it.
Jack looked away: Um, if you need more time...
He bit his lips to keep from laughing, she scanned his expressions and held back from answering "Shut up" but seemed to realize something.
Sam squinted at him, suspicious: Wait wait wait. (she smiled more and more) Either you're proposing this because you hate Washington, or because of what I just told you about Martouf. (she insisted) Admit it. (he moistened his lips and looked away, then looked at her, tilting his head. She pointed at him triumphantly) HA HA!
Jack juggled his gaze between her finger and his face, puzzled: You haven't heard a word I've said.
Sam smiled mischievously: Sorry. (she came closer to him) I don't know what's the matter with me. (she put her hands on his waist) Seeing him again... All this... I forgot all about you.
He smiled from the corner of his lips and she juggled her gaze between them and his eyes.
Jack: Cold head, warm loins.
Sam tilted her head: Is that a problem?
Jack brought his lips to hers and articulated: It could be worse.
Notes:
*Information on compersion, the opposite of jealousy (source)*
*Article: Are you dating someone who isn't available? Read this (source)*
*In a relationship, you can't promise that nothing's going to happen with another person until you're confronted with those emotions. Reminder from my chapter 9, when Sam confronts Jack about him kissing Samantha alternatively in front of her:
“Jack's eyes widened: Would you have asked me first?
Sam: Of course! (she gestured sharply with her arm in his direction) Or I wouldn't have kissed him.
Jack's face broke down, he was silent and then closed his eyes. Here too he had not respected her consent. How many more times?
Jack: I'm sorry. I didn't think about that at all.
Sam murmured to herself, still angry: Oh, really?
Jack: Really. ”*
*”And I should let her make a big, huge mistake?” refers to my chapter 17:
“Sam, calmly: Look. Thank you for letting me make my own decisions and experiences. (with a touch of bitterness) But you knew I was making a huge mistake with Pete and you didn't tell me. (he wanted to answer that it was also up to her to notice but she raised her hand to let him finish) I don't need life lessons but friends I can count on to help me find the right path especially when they see me terrified. (he grimaced and she insisted) I left school a long time ago.
Jack nodded apologetically”*
*In this chapter, there's the writing game of "That's a problem" / "Well, that's a problem."*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*
Sam emerged and pulled herself together: Sorry. Forget it, we're okay.
Jack raised his eyebrows at her strange reaction: I was going to suggest we take it to the next level.
Sam quickly: Oh boy. Yes. Please. (He huffed that she'd take back her lie and she added guiltily) And I'm sorry you put your life on hold when I'm not with you.
Jack rolled his eyes and muttered to himself: Definitely not my point.
Sam: I-I'll make time for you.
Jack raised his hands to her to stop her panicking: I'm just saying... Maybe it's time I started putting some of my mess in your house- (he caught himself) Our? Just a few things, nothing that attracts the hallway noises... Furniture, books, neutral clothes, vinyls, telescopes...(he almost whispered, thinking of Sam's toothbrush he saw every day at home) Toothbrush...
A flash of the Fifth simulation washed over her: An ideal house, a dog, Pete... Followed by the similar reality hitting her full force, an ideal house, a dog, Pete.
This echo had definitely made her put all her choices into perspective. But it wasn't just because of Pete, something deeper had terrified her, something Fifth had mentioned via Pete's appearance: She'd snapped nervously. He'd played on that particular fear, and when Jack had just offered to move in, she hadn't been able to help feeling a strange sensation: an intuition that it was going to happen again, but this time with Jack... But how could it happen again when they'd never lived together? Why was this feeling of being crazy so deeply rooted in this idea? Why did this feeling of having forgotten something that hadn't happened yet keep coming back?
Lost in thought, Jack stared at her, starting to get really nervous about waiting for an answer, even a negative one.
Jack tried not to lose face: Or just a drawer to start with. (he smiled awkwardly and spoke to himself, looking away) A drawer's fine.
Sam emerged again: Hu, sorry. (she added softly, intimidated) I loved it.
Jack looked away: Um, if you need more time...
He bit his lips to keep from laughing, she scanned his expressions and held back from answering "Shut up" but seemed to realize something.
Sam squinted at him, suspicious: Wait wait wait. (she smiled more and more) Either you're proposing this because you hate Washington, or because of what I just told you about Martouf. (she insisted) Admit it. (he moistened his lips and looked away, then looked at her, tilting his head. She pointed at him triumphantly) HA HA!
Jack juggled his gaze between her finger and his face, puzzled: You haven't heard a word I've said.
Sam smiled mischievously: Sorry. (she came closer to him) I don't know what's the matter with me. (she put her hands on his waist) Seeing him again... All this... I forgot all about you.
He smiled from the corner of his lips and she juggled her gaze between them and his eyes.
Jack: Cold head, warm loins.
Sam tilted her head: Is that a problem?
Jack brought his lips to hers and articulated: It could be worse.
Notes:
*Information on compersion, the opposite of jealousy (source)*
*Article: Are you dating someone who isn't available? Read this (source)*
*In a relationship, you can't promise that nothing's going to happen with another person until you're confronted with those emotions. Reminder from my chapter 9, when Sam confronts Jack about him kissing Samantha alternatively in front of her:
“Jack's eyes widened: Would you have asked me first?
Sam: Of course! (she gestured sharply with her arm in his direction) Or I wouldn't have kissed him.
Jack's face broke down, he was silent and then closed his eyes. Here too he had not respected her consent. How many more times?
Jack: I'm sorry. I didn't think about that at all.
Sam murmured to herself, still angry: Oh, really?
Jack: Really. ”*
*”And I should let her make a big, huge mistake?” refers to my chapter 17:
“Sam, calmly: Look. Thank you for letting me make my own decisions and experiences. (with a touch of bitterness) But you knew I was making a huge mistake with Pete and you didn't tell me. (he wanted to answer that it was also up to her to notice but she raised her hand to let him finish) I don't need life lessons but friends I can count on to help me find the right path especially when they see me terrified. (he grimaced and she insisted) I left school a long time ago.
Jack nodded apologetically”*
*In this chapter, there's the writing game of "That's a problem" / "Well, that's a problem."*
Bonus:
*click here*
*click here*